~~~Haydens pov~~~

“uncle si! Im heading out for a bit.” I yelled. Its been one year since the accident, I can walk thank goodness… after some spinal sugery they found my problem and fixed it I have side effects yes, sadly I don’t think ill be able to dance anymore.... Ive healed and gotten better, with some conditions…ill talk about those later…but the worst injusry of all? my broken heart… simon said the boys were on a tour for the year. Traveling, concerts, interviews…it hurt to no that none of them even cared to check if I was ok….i ve seen magazines. Harry has had a new girl every night after there little parties. Proves that really is all he wanted. Im so hurt… but I guess theres nothing I can do about it…he hates me.

“ok love! See you in a bit don’t forget you have a recording session at 6 tonight!” my uncle cheared.

“ok!”

I slipped on some black leggings, light brown uggs, a baggy grey sweater, and paced a light grey beany on the top of my head. I applied light make up and smiled at myself. I had become more insecure lately due to the scars I have on me from my dad. But as long as I can cover them im happy.

I grabbed my purse and phone rushing down the stairs.

“no goodbye?” I herd simon say as he chuckled placeing his news paper down. I smiled running back and hugging him.

“I love you uncle si.”

“love you to hayden.” I quickly turned grabbing the keys to my once again new car simon had bought for me. it was a candy apple red Maserati, with light brown leather interior. I loved it.

I quickly hopped into my car, I started it and smiled as it purred to life. My phone buzzed as I got a text from my friend callie. I met her in the rehab center of the hospital when I was woking on walking again. She went to support her brother who had gotten in a bad moter cycle accident. Weve become good friends. She interduced me to her friends michael, calum, luke, and ashton. They were all super nice.

Callie –

At starbucks. Were is ya!!!?


To callie –

On my way, gosshhhh

I smiled throwing my phone to the side and driving off.

~~~Harrys POV~~~

I sat up slowly looking at the naked chick in my bed. Her black hair sprawled all over the pillow as she snored. Annoying…

I stood up pulling my cloths on and tossed her stuff at her making her jump awake. As soon as she saw me a seductive smirk spread across her lips.

“last night was fun…” she bit her lip eyeing me as I slipped on my white v-neck.

“yup, you need to leave.” Her smirk fell as she looked at me confused.

“now.” I said grabbing my phone and stomping out leaving her baffled in my room.

Its been a year since the love of my life died. I cant move on because I gave my heart to her, and it will always be hers. Every night I sleep I see her. Shes all I think of…. These girls are just shags to get my mind off her… I drink every night till im numb… its better than locking myself up though…I did that for about 2 months.

“hey mate.” The lads all cooed.

“hey.” I mumbled walking to the kitchen to get a coffee. The lads don’t agree with what I do. They say hayden would have wanted better. Well…I cant because im hurting…I miss her and shes dead…

I watched as the chick from my room stormed out. My eyes lazily follwed her as she kept her head low exiting the house.

“harry…” louis began.

“don’t.” I mumbled walking back to my room. I slammed my door sying. My eyes landed on a folder in my room that was full of drawings hayden had done. When she died el got sad seeing all her stuff. She gave me her music diary, and her drawing journals. I read through her diary and I felt like I was in a whole flash back. There was passages of before I met her…how broke and scared she was…then there was when she met me and the lads…how much she hated me…it made me laugh…then how much she had started faling for me but was scared….then….how much she loved me…and every happy moment we had together. I listened to her songs and everything…I don’t touch that stuff anymore…its to hard.

I turned to my phone as it buzzed.

Simon –

You have rehearsals in a hour boys.

I pursed my lips. Ive completely lost interest in my singing… I and went to lock my phone but accidentaly pressed the wrong button. When I saw what came up I stiffled a sob. It was to haydens phone number.my heart wanted to write out all my emotion and just send it to her phone. Wishing shed respond, even though I new she wouldn’t…maybe just sending it to a dead line would help me get out some hurt…

To hay hay <3<3 –
Hey… I no your not going to get this…I no its stupid…my love for you has never died and not a moment goes by that the warm pillow I wake up on I wish is you…I wish to hear your beautiful heart beat. Feal and taste your soft lips… I just want to hold you again…. Hear you laugh and speak…smell the amazing lavander on your neck…watch you furrow your brow that cute way when you writing a song or drawing something…I hurt so bad…ive drowned my self In beer and woman over you…your probably so disapointed in me and im sorry…but without you im the biggest disaster…I don’t even have the energy to continue singing…I cant move on…but i can live….for you… I no the worst thing I could do to hurt you, dead or alive is take my own life…ill live for now…but I fear this pain will drag me down soon…and it wont be long before I join you…the lads miss you to…when your brought up or someone says your name or something that reminds us of you…we get quiet…sometimes we cry…the girls miss you to…they still cry…you were important to us…you are important to us… you were and are the life in our hearts and we love you so much.i love you…and I miss you…

My finger hoverd over the send button…should i?

Notes

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