The Exchange.

~~~Hayden's POV~~~

his huskey mint filled breath fanned my face. Our pants in unison as we gazed into eachothers eyes.

"I love you." His voice was low and eyes were fixated to mine looking for a response. I was to stunned by his sudden confession. I swallowed a. Lump and gave him a small smile.

"we should get going..." Hiss mile faded and he shot up.

"Ya....THTS probably a good idea." He was nervously grabbing the back of hi neck as he gatherd our things.

i followed him into my car and we drove off. The car was silent and quite awkward. It's not I didn't feel the same...it's I don't understand my own feelings. I've never experienced love with someone in this way, let alone a relationship.

My hands nervously tapped on the wheel as I tried to focus on the rode, since the accident I'm more skiddish when it comes to driving.

"Hey..are you ok?" Harry's hand sat reasuringly on my knee lightly squeezing as his eyes burned into the side of my face.

"Ye-yeah...just..idk..." He let out a sigh and went to speak but was cut short as I pulled into the loft were he lived.
"
Wanna come in...say hi to the lads for a bit?" He still hadn't moved his hand and I could tell he was suddenly nervouse and a little irritated. I just shook my head quickly leaning over pecking his cheek.

"You go with the guys. I have a few things to work on before I start school in a week,." He gave me a half smile and quickly jumped out, leaving me in my car. Oh ya. Forgot to mention. I got a new car!


I quickly pulled out driving back onto the London streets sighing. I do really like harry...I guess I'm just afraid of my own feelings...

~~~Harry's POV~~~

"Well mate...I can't blame her. Look at the shit she's been through and is still going through. Ur pretty much her first REAL bf...which meens first love...don't be such a bitch, she'll come around." Louis said pausing the FIFA game turning to me.

"You think she feels the same?" I'm a little mad and hurt she didn't say it back...I meen I've never! Said tht to a girl..she should be honord..I no I'd be if she said it to me..

"Yeah! I meen she looks at u and she's got a hug smile. But ur being an ass bout it. Don't be so stern, let her no ULL wait I meen if u love her you'll wait and let her sort through it, she's obviously scared.." The lads all nodded in response. I just side while flopping on the couch.

"Yeah...I guess...I'm just happy I finally could admit it, and now...she won't... What if she doesn't feel the same?"louis patted my back with a chuckle.

"She does mate. It's obvious."
I gave a half smile deciding to get some water and take a shower. I quickly stood to go due just tht.

~~~Hayden's pov~~~

It's been atleast 2 or 3 hours since Harry's confession. I talked to el and she said that in time it will come to me. "Love is patient, love is kind...if there's love ULL no in time. And if harry truly loves you, he'll support you and wait for you to meet him in the same place." I understood el and agreed. She was right if harry loves me he'll understand my situation. And I'll no soon in time. I just need to listen to my heart.

I sat in my room finishing up my 4th sketch. All were either of beautiful green orbs tht belonged to harry, or a beautiful sculpted face with a mop of curly hair. My door creeked open and I quickly turned to see el starring at my art.

"Huh...and your not sure if you love him! " she said with a huge grin. I chuckled turning probably as red as a tomato. Shrugging I stared at the art.

"I don't no el...I reeeeeeaaaalllyyyy like him...I guess....I'm just scared..." She patted my shoulder.
"ULL be fine. I'm going out with Lou..niall and zayn are over while harry and Liam are at a recording."

"I don't need a babysitter el." I said throwing my head back.

"There just hanging out! Chill" she said giggling.

An hour later the guys had passed out after a whole bag of chips and some FIFA. It's been a while since I drank, but since that night I've had the cravings. And being stressed as I am...I couldn't help it.

I tip toed into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of the devilish liquid quietly opening it, so I didn't wake the lads.

They won't let me drink since my last experience, I don't blame them. But one drink won't hurt.
I sipped the cold liquid, padding quickly and quietly to my room. When I got there I switched the tv on and looked at my phone.

Daddy dearest -
Hey babe. Ur little fuck buddy brok my damn nose. Ur gonna pay for that! Don't think I've left bitch, I'm Watching every move u make!

My heart jumped in my throat and I downed the rest of my drink in hopes for a numb. Just...one more?
After about 3 beers I was on my bed sobbing in my pillow. This time the alcohol brought out my feelings. But at the same time numbed them. I wanted the full numb and new exactly what to do. But first I had to do something.

Harry<3 -
Hey. I wanted to left you no I've been really thinking. I do wove you. I'm just scared, I have so much going on, and I've never felt this way...but I won't wanna lose you. I hope u understand and are willing to wait..if won't i unspderstand.:/ I love you harry. :)

I did my best to make it look like I was sober, and thnks to Siri it looked pretty believable. I sent the text and quickly switched to Dilan's number. This has nothing to do with harry. I love him and I no it. I'm just scared. And my parents and Eric are pushing me over. Making it impossible to admit let alone embrass. I'm scared that my dad's goal is to shove me off the edge...to my last point. And that's were the alcohol comes in..it numbs me and takes away the fear and pain... I don't have to deal.

Dilan -
Hey Dilan it's Hayden. Any parties tonight? I'm i. Need of some distraction.

From Dilan -
Hey! Yup I'll pick u up in a hour:) don't think I'd forget the life of the party