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The Exchange.

Chapter 12

I nodded unable to speak. I was still scared but for some reason...I knew it would be ok. Harry placed a soft kiss to my lips which lasted longer than usual. I felt sparks ignite as our lips moved In sync. My heart flutterd as he pulled away and stared into my eyes. I saw excitement and pure happiness. One thought crossed my mind....if were going to do this...he needs to no...

"Harry..." I kept my gaze on the ground. He was quick to react and grabbed my hand.

"What?"

" the other night...when Eric was there....he wasn't lying...." Harry didn't realy change his expression. He just pulled me into hs lap and held me close. I could tell by when he did it he was nervouse... He's I guess not use to this with a girl so it's new...but it makes me happy he's trying.

"Oh....do u wanna talk about it?"

No.."yeah...u deserve to no..." I nuzzled into his chest and began the long story.

"I was 6 or 7... Me and my sister were playing in the front yard, she was about 12 at the time..she and my parents were so close...but...she and i were closer. I always felt like my parents just tolerated me.... When we were playing, I threw my ball and missed...it went in the street..... Marry....my sister went to get it....she didn't....." I froze choking back tears and a well in my throat. The memory always haunted me, but speaking about it made it harder.....

Harry rubbed soothing circles on my back encouraging me to continue.

"When she went to get the ball...s-she didn't see the car....it happened so fast..."

~~~ flashback ~~~

"ILL GET IT HAY HAY!" Marry yelled as she ran out after the ball. I giggle making faces as she picked it up. When she turned around to run back she did a funny dance.

she started walking across when there was a screech. I looked over my shoulder to see a black car speeding towards her.

"MERRRYYYY!!!!" I yelled trying to get her to stop. She must of though I was playing because she stepped out....next thing I no there is a loud scream....a bang....and silence....

i run into the street full of debree. I go to the front of the car and find marry laying down on the ground with blood all over her. She uses all her strength to take my hand.

"it's ok hay hay....I'm gonnA be ok....I love you don't ever forget that....ur my spe......special...girl...." With that her hand dropped and her eyes closed...

my my best friend....my only friend who understood me....the one who told me it would be ok when my mom and dad hurt me or yelled at me...or I had a bad day....was gone.....

~~~end of flashback~~~

i couldn't stop the tears now...the pain I'd felt for so long was spilling at the seems...it hurt so bad....

"it's all my fault......why did I throw that ball....she's gone...and it's all my fault...." I said curling in a ball.

harry held me tightly. And went to speak. But I wasn't done...

"after s-she died....my life got worse...it went from being bullied at school and ignored At home to getting bullied and beat up at school, and beat and yelled at, at home......my mom....my dad...everyone blames me for her dying.....and I believe it.... My whole life I've been beat, picked on, hurt....harry....I'm scared because....I've never had people care about me...marry was my post....when she died...I died a little to.... I'm so scared....I'm scared of myself...I've....I've done awful things.......harry....I....I've tried killing myself 5 times....my parents always take me to a hospital....I just wished theyed leave me to die....but they want me to suffer...they remind me every day it's my fault....I hurt everyday....I'm so alone.." I'm hysterical by now. I've never told anyone this...it felt so good yet hurt so bad.....I hate putting it on harry but talking about it helps a bit....

he rubbed soothing circles on my back rocking us letting me have my moment. When I'd calmed a bit he pulled away a bit.

"Hayden....I'm so sorry....I. Sorry I was such an ass when we met...I'm sorry I was never there when u were little to hold ur hand and tell u how beautiful u are... I'm Sorry I wasn't there to beat the shit out of whoever bullied you...I'm sorry I was never there...but I'm here now...ur beautiful amazing and so much more! It was an accident, please don't blame urself...I'm so happy u told me...I want nothing more then to help...to show u everyone is wrong, and that ur amazing..." He kissed each cheek taking my tears with him. His eyes lovingly stared into mine and I felt a little better.
Thnx.....

An hour passed and me and harry had curled up in my bed to watch "love actually" I was literally in tears....I love this movie. When it was over I looked at harry who's eyes were red.

"Styles! Are u crying!?!" I said giggling. He quickly whipped his eyes. No! I got a curl in my eye..I laughed. I'm sure.

"Hey! Can u show me how to draw!" I smiled.

"Sure." He smiled and sat up pulling a chair to my art desk.

"What do u want me to draw." He looked around then smiled widely. I gasped as his dimples popped. I couldn't help it. I poked one. He giggled.

"Hey!" I chuckled. "Hey those dimples are so inevitable to poking!" He gave me a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

" NOT THAT WAY U PERVERT!" I said playfully smacking his chest.

He fell backwards laughing hard.

"Sweaty I never MENT that! Ur the pervert!" I felt my cheeks heat up. Oops...

We laughed for a while until finally harry calmed down.

"I challenge u to a draw off...." His voice was thick and persistent. I nodded with a smirk.

I handed him some paper and a pencil. He eyed my charcoal ones.

"What are those?" He pointed at the box.

"There my charcoal. The help me sketch better in art. Well just use pencil. " he huffed and nodded.

We finally decided to draw louis and let him judge since he was just in the other room. We drew for about 20 or 30 minutes when harry and I finished. I rolled my master piece up and so did he. He smirked.
"I think I'm gonna win!" I chuckled

"Well see!"

I went to go to els room when he grabbed my hand.

"Let make this interesting...." I furrowed my eyebrows...and nodded.

"Ok...what did u have in mind?"

He smirked "loser has to sing infront of the lads and winner in ur underwear...." He paused dramatically making me think that was it...but of course not...

"AND! Perform at the beach bash next week!" I gulped a bit. Ok... But I new I'd win...so I threw somthing in.

"If I win...styles...u have to sing in....a....thong....to the lads and I......" His eyes popped. I smirked "hey it's fair play."

He glanced at his drawing and laughed.

"Let's get this over with." I laughed.

We walked into Lou and els room. They were cuddled up laughing, when they saw us they stood.

"How ya feeling." I smiled.
"Sore...but better." Harry smiled.

"Well lou we have a question for u...what drawing of u is better?" Lou nodded and held his hand out. He's never seen my art SOOO.....

First was harry. I watched him look at it and his eyes pop.

"wow harry...this...umm...are u sure it's me...." He laughed and harry already new I'd win.
Here is Harry's pic.

I then handed louis mine and smirked at harry. Louis scanned the paper.

" DAMN HAYDEN!!! YOU DEFINATLY WIN." I smiled at harry who shook his head.

my sketch.

"So harry...what's ur punishment.?" Louis had a devilish smirk.

"I...umm...have to sing in a thong...infront of u guys...." He was cherry red. Louis laughed.

" I CANT WAIT TO SEE THAT!!!" I smirked. Harry mouthed to me 'I'm so getting u back for this.'

i couldn't help but laugh. After a while me el, Lou and harry decided he'll do it tomorrw when everyone is over...this will be so fun...

me and harry were back in y room just talking when the sound of my phone ringing brought tension to me.. I quickly shot up sighing, I was really comfortable....

"Hello?" I said scared to hear who It was.

"Hello Hayden. How are you? " my throat locked and fear shot through me..... Harry gave me a WIERD look and sat up. I gave him a smile trying to hide my fear and spoke.

"Hey....ummm I'm...I'm fine....." There was a silence that was soon followed by a dark chuckle.

"Hayden...u no that's not how to greet ur daddy...." I knew what he wanted me to say as he emphasized 'daddy' harry was now watching my every move intently. His jaw clenched as he tried to hear who I was talking to.

I swallowed a lump knowing harry would say somthing as soon as I said what my dad wanted me to say, due to what was said earlier.

"Hi.....dad..." Harry's eyes burst at the name.

"Hayden..." His voice was low and a bit frightening. I pulled my finger to my lips an shushed him. He pointed to my phone saying to put it on speaker. I hesitantly did as he said.

"That's better baby...u no what makes me mad?" He mad sure to wait so I'd answer.

"What...." I felt a tear slip...please don't say it...

"U killed ur sister....then leave us broken, and ruined lives.....then u run away....what do we do with the stess huh?"

I bit my lip sir pressing my urges to grab a blade and stayed quiet,,.i didn't wanna seem so week infront of harry...I found myself doing somthing I new I'd pay for later.

"Fuck you." With that I hung the phone up....

Harry stared at me and I just shook my head.

"Another movie?" I was good at hiding emotions...he fell for it but still watched me carefully. We layed on the bed flicking through the movie channels for somthing to watch. The whole time a deep pit in my stomache troubled me...the only way to rid myself of it...was to cut....