Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

It has been about two weeks and four days, eighteen horrible and emotionally draining days. Since it's now Wednesday and is the middle of the week, Katherine is in the homeless shelter right now and has been going every day since Sunday. She has offered me countless times to join and assist her, but I always just sadly decline. Too many memories were made in that dreaded building and I don't think I would be able to bare being there longer than a few minutes.
The thing about staying with Katherine, is that even though she leaves me alone to go work like Harry did, she allows me to walk around the area. I walked around for a few minutes on Monday to see the sun rise, but the thing is that even with the beautiful and refreshing winds that we're complimenting the beautiful colors and glow from the sunrise itself, I didn't feel joyful or really engaged in the moment like I usually do. After that experience, I haven't really done anything besides staying indoors.
I feel like a complete vegetable and the thing is that I don't care.
All I have been doing lately is cleaning and tidying up Katherine's house for her every day until she returns. She always is very thankful and even thanked me by baking more of her delicious chocolate chip cookies.
When she returns from work, we usually just watch a movie or play monopoly until we both grow tired. I'm starting to feel very guilty, because I feel as if I'm over staying my welcome and I have even thought about leaving here too, and just becoming homeless again for the sake of Katherine. But I always push that plan aside since it will most likely cause Katherine to worry, or make her believe that my leaving was all her doing and I can't have that. She has been very understanding of me and my problems, and I already have brought so much drama to her life that I don't think she deserves any more.
Right now I'm in Katherine's daughter's bed, drawing in my sketchbook. Ever since Katherine gave me a pack of old color pencils from her school supply stash that she had for Carly, I can't stop drawing. Besides cleaning, when Katherine is gone, I just sketch my heart out. I just turn to the pages at the end of my book in my 'personal' drawings section and my hand just begins to create.
I've always craved color pencils, it adds dimension and more life to a drawing, making a sketch more intense looking. It had always been a luxury that I could not obtain for myself when I was younger due to my father's money troubles, but now that I have them I should be going crazy with them and just enjoy the sensational color that is created by each wooden stick, but I'm not. The only color that actually speaks to me, the only one I have been using is the dark green.
I feel that my sanity has finally diminished because I don't even know myself why I'm coloring with that specific pencil. Green has never been a color that attracted my attention before, but all of a sudden it's my favorite. I try to tell myself that it's because of the tone and shade of it, but I know that that is not it. It must be for a reason that holds more deep meaning to it, and I hope I soon find out so I can finally use another color.
With the green called 'pine', I have been drawing countless things. Usually I just doodle Roses, since I really enjoy them and I just really miss the ten year old girl. But some days the drawings are more intense... Like yesterday I sketched a free hand drawing of a woman with two heads, the shading done of course with the half sharpened green pencil.
My feelings and general emotions being felt are complicated and driving me insane. Some days the thought of my father causes me distress, while other days the curly haired monster and the feeling of butterflies I get in the pit of my stomach when his image and personality in general invades my mind, causes me to want to pull my hair out.
Sometimes I wish I smoked or drank because it must really relieve people, since it turns many into addicts and right now I would pick that amazing sensation of relief instead of this overpowering sorrow that is being held over my head, no matter the consequences and that frightens me.
I place my book on the right side of me, not really feeling in the mood to do anything today. I take a deep breath and I begin to brush my tangled and most likely tangled hair out with my finger tips.
I'm alone right now and I'm beginning to regret not joining Katherine today. Maybe if I push all my sadness to the side and think of others instead of myself for once, then I would soon begin to forget about all my troubles and begin to 'live'. I mean that's why I escaped Harry and Niall's house in the first place, to start fresh, yet all I've been doing is pitying myself.
I slam my fist slightly on the soft cotton blanket at the realization and I quickly slide out from underneath it for my feet to meet the floor again.
Since I'm already showered and dressed, well not well but good enough, all I have to do is slip on a pair of Carly's old shoes and surprise Katherine at the shelter. Some volunteer work may help do my heart good and I know it would make Kat's day if she saw me actually doing something productive with my time.
I slip on the pair of old worn out black tennis shoes next to the room door and once I leave the room, I grab the spare key Kat made for me from the kitchen table, and I saunter myself up to the entrance door.
I can do this. I can finally face something else, something new.
As I'm about to walk out of her home, I snap my fingers once I realize that I most likely need a sweater.
I jog back to Carly's room and I grab a black leather jacket from a hanger in her closet. It's pretty comfy and actually makes my present outfit more fashionable. Well at least in my eyes.
I'm soon interrupted in my admiration for a piece of clothing, when the phone begins to ring. It most likely is Katherine wanting to check up on me like usually does.
I smile slightly at the thought of Katherine's happy smile that's going to appear when she sees me walk into the shelter and I quicken my pace as I rush down the hall to the kitchen to answer the phone before the ringing dies.
"Hey Kat." I greet right when I place the gray wireless phone in my right ear.
"Jane is that you?"
I feel my heart stop at the recognizable male voice.
"Niall?" I ask, ignoring his question completely.
"Jane it is you. Um how are you?" He questions, most likely rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly like he usually does when he speaks to me. Even though we're friends I guess you can say, we're not entirely close so he always seems shy when he starts a conversation with me.
I dig my teeth into my bottom lip as I try to contain my emotions.
"I gotta go Niall." I mutter, not wanting to speak with anyone that has a close connection with Harry. For all I know, Harry could be right next to him and the phone call is on speaker. I really don't want to make a fool of myself and I don't want to play his little game anymore.
"Wait! Jane please. Hear me out first." Niall adds in an urgent tone, hoping I won't hang up.
I take a deep breath and I close my eyes as I grip the telephone tighter.
"If this is about Harry I-"
"No. No. This is about Eli."
I open my eyes slowly and I still feel slight suspicion toward the reason for this phone call.
"What about Eli?" I mutter as I rub my free hand over my left thigh, attempting to calm myself down.
"Well if you remember, the last time I saw you, I mentioned how she would be here in two weeks. Well it's been two weeks and she's here."
"Niall I-"
"Let me finish please."
Eli seems like a super nice person and I would love to meet her, but with everything that's going on...I just can't. I know where this phone call is going, but for some reason, I just stand frozen waiting for him to continue instead of hanging up which would be the better solution.
"She's leaving Saturday morning back to London, and she has been asking about you the whole time. I'm not forcing you and I apologize if that's what you think my intention is. Friday I'm kind of throwing this party for her and I just want to know if you could come. Even if it's for an hour or so, jut so you can meet her. I can't even imagine how you must feel with everything going on b-"
"Is Harry attending?" I interrupt, not wanting him to remind me of everything I already know has happened.
"I-I don't know to be honest. He hasn't really been talking to us, so I'm unsure..."
I sigh and I walk to the kitchen table, sitting myself down in one of its seats.
"Niall I don't know I mean... I really just don't want to talk to him I-"
I take another deep breath as I place my right empty hand on my forehead. Eli seems like she really wants to see me, and I feel rude if I just decline his offer. I mean Niall hasn't done anything to me, and I think I can handle an hour of socializing, besides he said that Harry might not even go.
"I-I'll go...Where will it be held and at what time may I ask?"
I hear a sigh of relief escape Niall's lips through the phone line, causing me to smile a little.
He then spends about ten minutes explaining to me the address and other need to know things about the party. Apparently it's going to be held at some fancy restaurant called Fandor's, since Eli isn't much of a club person and is going to be from Eight- thirty to midnight. Since the restaurant is five star, I have to dress pretty formal, which I don't know how I'm going to achieve that since I have no dresses. But maybe Katherine has one of Carly's dresses that she can let me borrow for that night.
I thank Niall.
"No problem Jane. I'm glad you had a change of heart. See you Friday." He remarks.
"Wait Niall." I comment.
"Yes?"
"How did you get this phone number?"
...
After that phone call with Niall, all I could think about was whether or not Harry was going to show up and if I made the right decision in accepting the invitation. I mean I've only talked to this Eli chic once and maybe Niall made everything up or stretched the truth when he explained to me how much she wanted to meet me. Maybe this is all a part of this 'plan' that I heard Harry mention to my father that day and I'm going to just end up getting hurt again.
Right when Katherine got home that day, I explained to her everything, assuming that she would just be disappointed in my decision and would try to convince me to not attend and instead to have another game night with her. But no. Instead her response was the opposite.
She just smiled and told me how I should definitely go, that I should show Harry what he missed and make him suffer. I've never seen Katherine like that, but I'm guessing that knowing how he's one of the reasons for my messed up life now, she wants to have revenge on him. But I still don't see how putting on some dress and putting some makeup on will make him feel all the pain I felt.
I even told Katherine that, but she just responded with a wink and told me that I'll find out for myself soon enough.
I'm still confused, but right now that's not really what I'm focusing on. It's almost eight and Katherine has been trying to tame my hair for two hours now. I'm already dressed and my makeup is done, it's only my crazy hair that is troubling the both of us. She was planning to do my hair first before I did anything else, but due to the amount of time it was taking, she gave up for a while and just told me to do everything, and she would try again after.
Right now I'm wearing a mid thigh short sleeved yellow dress with a floral lace top and nude open toed heels. The dress was apparently Carly's homecoming dress from junior year and I spotted Katherine even getting a little teary eyed as she showed it to me the first time. Katherine actually wanted to buy me a dress, but I will never allow that gracious human being to spend any more money on me. She has already done enough, and I can't take advantage of her.
I haven't quite seen the makeup that Kat did on my face yet, but I know that I'm wearing red lipstick since I saw her put some on my lips. I'm kind of nervous, because A. I can't walk in heels and I most likely will fall, B. this dress feels very short and I'm afraid it might rip or that I might even flash someone if I bend down. Oh god. And C. Harry might be there.
"Kat maybe this isn't such a great idea I mean...What if he's there?" I whisper, shaking a little at the thought.
"Pass me the hair tie please." She says as she holds my hair back from behind me.
I pass her the rubber band looking hair accessory that she told me to hold and I feel her twist my hair up, down, and side to side as she ties it around.
"Jane. Whether he's there or not, you should still enjoy yourself. Mingle. Socialize. Make new friends." She suggests and the thing is that she's right. She usually is and I should just do as she says and let loose.
I feel her hands leave my hair and land on my shoulders, spinning me around to face her.
"Okay. Well it looks like I'm done here. I did the best I could do and I think I did a pretty good damn job." She compliments her work and I can't help but giggle.
She rolls her eyes and giggles a little herself before handing me a small mirror.
"What do you think?" She questions.
I observe my appearance in the mirror and I feel a little speechless. My hair is up in a high sleeked ponytail and I find out how I was right about the lipstick, but she also filled in my eyebrows a little, put on blush, mascara, eyeliner, and other products I'm unsure of. This is the type of thing I would always imagine my mother doing for me when I was older. Helping me prepare for my first school dance, my prom, and even my wedding, but no. She left and instead I'm enjoying this moment with this amazing woman and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I laugh from happiness and I wrap my arms around Kat, Squeezing her tight while trying to not stumble.
She rubs my back comfortingly and we both pull away.
"So you like it?" She asks again, laughing as well.
I nod my head and I sniffle a little, feeling my eyes beginning to fill with moisture.
"Oh sweetie don't cry. You'll ruin your make up." She says as she herself sniffles and wipes the wetness from my eyes with her thumb.
"Thank you Kat. Thank you for the dress, the shoes, my makeup, my hair, and just for everything." I say honestly.
Her smile widens, revealing her bright white teeth.
"It was no bother dear. Now let's stop being all mushy gushy before you really do mess up your makeup and lets go."
I laugh and nod my head before she puts on her shoes and her keys, leading us both out the door and to her car.
...
"Welcome to Fandor's, do you have a reservation?" A man with overly gelled black hair wearing a tux asks.
The restaurant seems very big, and just the building itself is intimidating.
"Um yes. My name is Jane Weck. Niall Horan invited me." I retort.
He looks me up and down, making me feel uncomfortable before huffing and checking a piece of paper that I'm guessing contains all the reservations.
"Jane Weck?" You said.
I nod my head and he snaps his fingers, causing another much more taller man wearing a tux as well to walk up to his side.
"Take this lady to the Horan party will you." The smaller man says as he turns his attention to a wealthy looking couple behind me.
The big man just nods and motions me to follow him as he enters the massive restaurant.
The place looks even bigger inside, and I would be lying if I said it's simply nice looking. No. It's mesmerizing. About six chandeliers are hanging spread apart from each other from the high ceiling. The floor is made of a weird solid beige tile, the walls are a dark brown and are covered with countless large mirrors. The light is dimmed, giving a more calming and comfortable mood and modern square tables are all neatly organized and scattered throughout the room. Many men in tuxes and women in ravishing dresses are walking around, making me feel a little self conscious.
I'm interrupted by my own thoughts when I see the large man stop in front of me.
"Here you are. Enjoy your evening miss."
I respond with a nod and he just scurries off, revealing a large table in front of me covered with a white table cloth and many glass cups like the other tables in this place.
Many people are already seated and I'm beginning to feel a little shy. They all seem around Niall's age and I do not recognize any of them. Where's Niall and Eli?
I feel myself flinch when I feel someone tap my shoulder.
"Jane is that you?"
I turn around to face a surprised looking Louis. He's wearing a simple gray long sleeved button down shirt, dark jeans, and of course black vans with a glass filled with champagne in his right hand. His hair seems a bit longer and he has a bit more stubble on his face, giving him a very sophisticated and even hot look.
I already can imagine the amount of questions he must have from my sudden disappearance the last time I saw him, and I'm not really in the mood to answer anything, so I try to avoid the topic. I half smile and I fix the collar of his shirt.
"Vans hmm. Very formal." I joke.
His eyes search mine for a while and my smile soon becomes forced once I notice how he has not yet responded. I mentally pray that he gets the hint.
A small smile spreads across his face along with a few chuckles, giving me sudden relief.
"Well I'm a formal guy."
I smile back genuinely while I roll my eyes.
"Definitely. How have you been?" I question.
He looks down at his feet and just shrugs before meeting my eyes again.
"To be honest...miserable. For the past week the lads and I all had to witness Niall making out with his girl every second of the day. It was absolutely sickening."
I bite my lip, trying to hold in my laughter and I just shake my head.
"Oh I feel for you I really do. That sounds utterly despicable. Damn those two." I reply teasingly.
He nods his head.
"It truly is. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so."
I nod my head as well as he takes a sip of his drink.
"I mean two people who are dating actually kissing. Oh that should be against the law. Now I see why your single Louis."
He spits out some of his drink at my words, causing us to both laugh uncontrollably.
"You twat." He remarks playfully as he smiles widely.
I put my hands up in defense.
"Hey I don't deny it."
He rolls his eyes and chuckles a little more as the mood begins to lighten.
"How are you Jane?" He questions more seriously.
I feel my smile falter a little, but I keep it at a slight grin.
"Good I guess. I've been staying with a friend so it hasn't been that bad." I admit honestly.
He just nods his head and glances down at his drink.
"I'm glad. At least one of us has had an alright few weeks. Now would you like to sit down with me? I need to ask for a new drink."
He hands me his arm and smiles softly.
A single chuckle escapes my lips before I grab his arm.
"Sure. I've missed you bestie." I mutter as we both walk to the end of the table.
He glances down at me and sighs before shaking his head in disapproval.
"What did I tell you about calling me that?" He asks as he tries to hold back a smile.
I giggle causing him to roll his eyes even more.
"I couldn't help myself."
He lets go of me and pulls out a chair for me to sit in in a gentlemen like way before pulling out a chair for himself next to me.
"Besides I know you like it." I add.
A waiter comes from behind us.
"Would you like some more champagne sir?" the man asks Louis.
Louis hands him his whole glass.
"Actually may I have a new glass?"
The man just nods before taking his cup and walking away, most likely the kitchen.
Louis turns his attention back to me.
"And why would you think that?" He asks, continuing our conversation.
"Well I-"
"Is this seat taken?"
I feel my whole body freeze and my eyes practically bulge out of their sockets as I hear the chair being pulled out on the other side of me.
Louis is looking behind me as well, looking annoyed and when I turn to the right, I immediately regret coming.
"Hello Jane...You actually came." He mutters before he grabs my hand and places a soft kiss on the top, his eyes staring at me as if I'm the only thing in this room.
I feel myself swallow hard.
"H-harry." I whisper.

Notes