Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

I catch myself still staring, my mouth most likely still hung open, my eyes wide, and my cheeks blazing red and I quickly turn back around to face Louis, quickly taking my hand out of Harry's as I do so.
Louis is still glaring at him with darts shooting out of his eyes.
"Where's Eli and N-Niall?" I ask Louis, mentally face palming as I notice the slight stutter that came from my lips.
Louis turns his attention back to me, his body becoming less tense and his features calming when his eyes land on mine.
"Niall wants to do some surprise thing for her, so they might not be here for a while." He replies.
Just peachy.
"Here you are sir." The waiter from before approaches from behind us with a new glass and a bottle of Champaign for Louis.
Louis turns around and thanks the man before the man hands him the now filled cup.
Before the man leaves completely, I call his attention.
"Excuse me sir." I say.
The man turns back around and saunters up to me.
I hand him the glass that is in front of me.
"May I have some as well?" I question.
The man stares at me in silence, as if he's thinking about something.
"Miss I'm going to have to see some ID." He states.
Dang. I forgot about that.
I feel my cheeks redden and I just shake my head.
"Actually I'm not thirsty after all. I apologize." I say.
The man just nods.
"But I am." Harry comments.
I shut my eyes closed and I sit down in my seat normally, wishing with all my being that Katherine was here as I hear the expensive liquid being poured into his cup.
"Thank you." Harry says before I hear the waiter walk off.
"I won't say anything if you don't." He whispers into my hear, causing me to shiver.
I open my eyes to see a glass right in front of me. His glass.
I glance at him to see him with a small grin on his face.
I stare back at the glass and I sigh before I push my seat back.
"If you'll excuse me Louis, I have to go... um powder my nose." I say quickly before I get out of my seat and walk off to the farthest place I can find in this restaurant.
I so badly just want to go back to Katherine's home and just be by myself, but she just dropped me off here and I would hate to have to burden her any further. Besides, I promised Niall I would greet Eli, but I just don't know what's taking them so long.
Before I know it, I'm at the end of the restaurant in the corner next to the kitchen. I'm most likely not allowed here, but I really just want to be alone and the sound of pots and pans hitting one another is really distracting me which is always a bonus.
"Um do you need anything?"
I turn my head to see a woman wearing an ankle length black dress with a white apron tied around her waist. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a messy pony tail and she looks as if she's in her early thirties.
"Oh um no I apologize, I just... I don't know why I'm here to be honest." I admit.
She gives me a warm smile.
"Want to be alone huh? Something's bothering you." She says as she leans against the wall right next to me, interest written all over her face.
I don't say anything and instead I just place my right hand on my left arm, rubbing it comfortingly in hopes that she will just leave me to be.
I hear a few chuckles escape her mouth as she crosses her arms.
"So not a something, but a someone." She adds.
Either I'm really easy to read or this woman is a professional gossip seeker.
I glance at her and I nod a little, not knowing really how to respond.
She nods her head in return.
"What's his or her name?" She questions.
Before I even think his name leaves my lips like smoke from a burning fire.
"Harry." I mutter.
She licks her chapped lips and nods again.
"Your boyfriend?"
I shake my head and I sigh.
"So that's the problem. You love him and he doesn't love you back."
My head snaps up and I shake my head quickly.
"Oh no I mean I like him, but I-I don't feel that strongly about him."
Dang I stuttered again. I guess she noticed too, since she begins to laugh, annoying me.
"Don't you have to work or something?" I say quite rudely, but not really caring at this moment since I really want to rid of this intrusive lady and her many questions about my life.
She puts her hands up in defense and continues laughing.
"Hey, you didn't have to answer if you didn't want to. You obviously wanted to talk about it and I just happened to be the person here to listen."
I open my mouth but quickly close it once I realize that she's right.
"Sorry." I say as I stare at the ground, ashamed of myself for my sudden rude behavior. I've never been like this, but I guess I've changed a little and I don't like it. Not at all.
I feel her place her hand on my shoulder and I quickly glance up to see her smiling softly.
"What's your name sweetie?" She asks.
I smile back.
"Jane." I respond.
Her eyes narrow in concentration at my response and I feel a little uncomfortable.
"What is it?" I ask.
She takes her hand off and begins to laugh a little, bringing me even more confusion.
"Oh nothing. Um I gotta go make a call, but it was nice meeting you. I hope all goes well." She comments as she composes herself.
I raise an eyebrow as she departs, but just end up shrugging it off and leaving myself. I don't want to worry Louis, so I decide to walk back to the table and man up. I shouldn't let Harry ruin my night. I'm here for Eli and Niall, not for Harry or for even myself.
After a few minutes of walking and asking a few waiters for directions, I find my way back to see Louis on his phone and Harry's chair empty. Oh what did Louis do.
"Hi." I say with a forced smile as I sit myself down in my seat once again.
Louis types in one more thing before placing his phone on his lap and looking at me a bit concerned.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
I fiddle with my fingers under the table.
"Ya I'm fine. Why you ask?"
He stares deeply into my eyes and shrugs, before taking a sip of his cup.
"You just seemed a little uncomfortable with...well him."
I shake my head.
"No I'm fine. I swear."
Louis just nods and turns his attention back to his phone.
"By the way um where did he go?" I add.
He gazes back at me.
"I'm guessing to search for you."
I feel my heart stop and I bite my bottom lip before I grab the glass that Harry got me and I take a sip of it.
"Oh."
...
It's been about thirty minutes, and after the five minutes of talking to Louis about the football matches he's been in, Liam and Zayn along with their girlfriends showed up. Louis, them, and I all decided to walk around the restaurant and just get to know one another.
Perrie is pretty nice. I can see how happy she makes Zayn and it warms my heart. They really are a cute couple as well as Liam and Danielle and I am truly happy for both pairs. Liam's arm was wrapped around his girlfriend's waist the whole time and actually still is. Zayn and Liam are both wearing black suits, Liam's hair nicely gelled back and Zayn's done in a sophisticated messy way making them both look very handsome.
I appreciate the fact that they, like Louis, didn't mention my disappearance from a few weeks ago. Instead we have just been talking about the couple of the night, Niall and Eli, and where the heck they might be.
"They're probably fucking." Louis comments, causing everyone in the group to gag.
"Mate, I really don't want to think about that. They're probably just...." Liam says, thinking about where they most likely are.
"Fucking." Louis repeats, causing Liam to nod his head, making everyone laugh.
"Ya well they better show up soon, because I'm starving." Zayn adds.
Perrie rubs his tummy and places a sweet kiss on his cheek, making him smile down at her in a loving way. I can't help but feel a little jealous with what they have. They have love, and to be honest.... I just can't imagine having anything like that in my future. I'm probably going to be alone my whole life with a million cats.
"Ew can you guys fucking do PDA somewhere else like a room." Louis remarks, most likely thinking the same thing as I.
Zayn rolls his eyes and gives Perrie a peck on her lips before sticking his tongue out at Louis, and Louis doing the same right after.
"You seriously need a girlfriend man." Liam remarks teasingly, causing Danielle and Perrie to giggle.
"I can get any girl I want. It's just that no one has caught my eye yet." Louis defends as he crosses his arms.
Zayn rolls his eyes.
"Ya right man. Just admit it. You got no game." Zayn states with a foolish grin.
Louis gasps, causing me to laugh before he turns his attention to me and smiles.
"What?" I ask.
He walks closer to me and grabs my hand before bending down on one knee. What is this child doing?
I place my hand over my mouth, trying to hold in my laughter as he looks up at me and winks.
"Oh Jane. My sweet Jane. I have been in love with you since the first day I've laid eyes on you. Will you do me the most amazing and gracious honor of being my girlfriend?" He asks in a dramatic tone.
"Oh please take him out of his misery Jane." Zayn remarks, receiving a scowl from Louis.
Perrie and I both giggle.
"Oh I don't know. I've gotten many requests from many many potential suitors." I play along, trying to sound serious.
Louis squeezes my hand tighter and bites his lip in concentration before his eyes widen and he smiles.
"Oh Jane. I will give you all the colors of the sky just so you can use them as paint for your magnificent drawings and I will give you free food for the rest of your wondrous life."
"Bribery will get you know where."
Liam and Zayn laugh uncontrollably as I look down at Louis with one raised eyebrow. Waiting to see what his next attempt is.
"Because I think your cool."
I can't hold back much longer, before the smile finally creeps on my face.
"But flattery will get you everywhere. Thus, I accept your offer." I say, causing Perrie and Danielle to cheer as the other two smile widely and begin to clap.
I feel myself being lifted up into the air, causing me to laugh uncontrollably when Louis begins to spin me around.
"Oh I'm not going to be alone anymore!" Louis yells before he finally sets me down and begins to laugh himself.
"And that sir is how you ask out a girl the right way." Louis adds as he places his arm around my shoulder.
Zayn and Liam nod and put their hands up in surrender.
"Now what about a kiss! If you guys are a real couple, you will show your deep passionate love with a make out sesh." Liam says.
Louis lowers his arm to my waist and pulls me closer to him.
"You sick perverts. We enjoy our privacy! Isn't that right Jane?!"
I look up at Louis and I stand on my tippy toes, placing a soft kiss on his left cheek.
The two couples begin to clap, while Louis just stares down at me, his cheeks flushed and his smile gone.
"Jane-"
"What are you guys talking about?"
I feel my whole body freeze as I hear Harry approaching from behind me. Louis' hand leaves my waist and is now placed in his pocket.
"Hey mate! We're just talking about Niall and Eli." Liam greets as Harry walks up to my left side.
"What about them?"
Zayn shrugs.
"We're just wondering where they are."
Danielle and Perrie's smiles have both faded and they seem a bit more stiff. They probably aren't really comfortable with Harry here, trust me I know I'm not. Well at least not at this moment.
"They're probably fucking or something." Harry says, causing many people to stare at Louis.
"Why the fuck are you all staring at me for?" Louis remarks.
Zayn rolls his eyes and we both look back at Harry.
"So where have you been? I haven't seen you all night." Liam continues the conversation.
Harry shrugs.
"I've been here, just needed to take a walk I guess."
I look down to see him fiddling with his fingers besides me. I think he catches me staring because he soon stops and places his hand in the pocket of his black skinny jeans.
Now that he's standing up, I can really get a good look at him.
He's wearing a simple black cotton shirt with a black coat over it and dark brown boots. He is also wearing a black beanie that is taking all of the hair that usually would be resting on his forehead back, revealing more of his face. He looks absolutely amazing, and I have to bite my lip in order to not blurt anything out.
"Well that's good. By the way I forgot to tell you all that Danielle over here is going to be the background dancer in one of Perrie and her band's music videos."
Danielle looks down at the floor and smiles modestly, Perrie smiling as well.
Danielle and Perrie are very well mannered and humble people, they deserve Liam and Zayn.
"Don't be shy babe." Liam whispers as he holds Danielle tighter.
"Well I me-"
Danielle is interrupted by the sound of sudden applaud coming from behind us.
All of our heads snap toward the noise and we all follow the sound to see Niall and Eli smiling lovingly at each other.
Niall is wearing a simple black button down shirt with dark colored jeans and black dress shoes, while his girlfriend is wearing a pretty dark blue and sophisticated mid thigh length dress, her medium lengthed hair down in waves. They look absolutely adorable together.
...
We all finally sat down and began to eat our food, Harry sitting next to someone else. I can't deny the fact that I wish he actually sat next to me again...
The food was very fancy looking and I actually felt bad that I was eating such expensive cuisine. Niall is paying for everyone and I don't know, I wish I had enough money to pay for myself to lessen the most likely expensive bill.
Eli sat next to me, Niall right next to her, and she is even nicer in person.
She told me about how before her hotel job and way before she even met Niall, she was homeless herself. We relate on many levels, and it's awesome to know someone that has been in similar situations as my own.
We also talked more about her college life and how it's very tough, challenging, yet adventurous and thrilling. Even though this is the second time I've talked to Eli, I already consider her a friend.
And I think she feels the same since her, Niall, and I took many pictures together, some with Louis since I pulled him into them forcefully. He'll thank me later.
Right now we're eating dessert and even though I enjoy talking to Eli, I can't seem to pay attention to what she's saying since all I can focus on is Harry who is typing something on his phone on the other end of the table across from us.
I want to talk to him, I want to hear him laugh, I want to see him smile, but the thing is that he hurt me, and I can't just forgive him that easily...he hasn't even tried to apologize...
Harry soon places his phone on his lap and slowly turns his head to me. I want to turn away, like how I usually would, but for some reason I can't...
It's as if nothing is moving around me, as if no one's speaking....the only thing that's moving is my heart inside my chest and the voices in my head that are trying to reason with myself conscious, trying to warn me and remind me of the events that occurred almost three weeks ago... but like the idiot I am, I ignore everything. Everything except Harry who has not taken his eyes off of me as well.
" Jane. Jane are you okay?"
I shake my thoughts and I feel my cheeks burn as I glance over at Eli.
"Oh yes um I'm fine sorry. I'm just a little tired. Can you repeat what you we're saying. I apologize."
Eli smiles softly before glancing over at Harry and then back at me.
"You should go talk to him." She whispers.
I feel my lips part.
"Um I don't know what you're talking abo-"
"Jane." she simply says as she raises an eyebrow.
Maybe she's right...
"I think I will."
She nods her head.
"Good luck."
I thank her and scoot out of my seat, feeling very nervous as I begin to walk towards Harry. I ignore the many glares and whispers surrounding me and I only focus on him.
He's typing something into his phone again and I feel my stomach beginning to twist as I tap his shoulder.
He turns his head to face me and I almost forget what I was going to say when I see his emerald green eyes that I've missed. Oh God Katherine would be ashamed of me if she we're here. I was supposed to ignore him the whole night, but instead I'm practically throwing myself at him.
"Hi."
"Hi." He replies in a soft tone.
His phone beeps, meaning he has a message, but he ignores it completely as he waits for my say.
"H-how are you?"
Really that's what you ask? God you sound like a moron.
"Good I guess. Um here. How about you?"
His voice sounds vulnerable and soft, making me want to explode. He seems nervous and I don't know what else to do really, other than attempt to control myself.
"Fine."
He nods his head, his eyes never leaving mine and I can feel many people's eyes on us as well. Waiting for a 'show' to happen.
"Harry um..."
"Ya?"
"I-"
Before I can finish my pointless conversation with him, the sound of many screams and footsteps begin to pollute the air, causing me to shake.
Many waiters run to the front of the restaurant, trying to stop the crowd of people from entering, but fail as a mob of rats with cameras come rushing in.
I feel frozen in place and I know that if I don't leave soon, I will surely pass out.
I feel my hand being grabbed and I look up to see Harry who is now standing, trying to get me out of here.
"Everything's going to be fine Jane. I swear." He whispers before he leads me toward the back of the restaurant.
I look behind me to see many people begin to be mobbed my camera flashes and annoying questions.
I remember Niall telling me how claustrophobic he is, and I'm just praying that he will be safe and that Eli will be safe as well.
"Where are we going?" I actually say through my shivering body.
Harry opens a brown rusty door that reveals an almost empty parking lot. Probably the parking lot for the employees.
I feel my feet walk up to a recognizable black car. Harry's.
He opens the passenger door for me, helping me in before closing it and getting himself inside the driver's.
He quickly turns the ignition on and taps his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as he waits for his car to heat up completely.
"How the fuck did they find us!?" Harry yells angered.
I usually would be crying right now or even worse, but right now I feel like I have to be strong for once. Strong for both Harry and I.
I take a deep breath before I place my hand on Harrys, feeling his body loosen almost automatically.
He takes a deep breath himself and glances at me.
"I can't keep letting this happen to you." He whispers.
I give him a reassuring smile and I squeeze his hand tight.
"None of this is your fault. It never is. Someone probably called or-"
I feel myself get angry at the sudden realization.
The woman from earlier's words echo through my ears.
'Oh nothing. Um I gotta go make a call, but it was nice meeting you. I hope all goes well.'
The way she rushed to leave...her reaction when I told her my name....she had to be the one that called!
"It was the waiter."
"The waiter?" Harry questions.
"Ya. Earlier tonight I talked to this waiter who was asking me many questions about how I felt about yo-"
I quickly take my hand off of his, intertwining both of my hands together in hopes that he won't question me any further and just drive.
"How do you feel about me Jane?" He asks.
But of course this is Harry we're talking about, so I shouldn't expect anything.
I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't even dare to look. I just close my own and I lean my body toward the window, holding my head up with my right hand.
"Your car is heated up." I retort.
By my surprise, he actually doesn't say anything else and drives.
...
"Jane. Um we're here."
I slowly open my eyes, to see how we're in Harry's drive way.
"Oh. Thanks." I say shyly.
Harry nods before he gets out of his car and I the same.
We both walk a good distance from each other as he presses a button to lock his black beloved auto mobile.
When we enter his home, the memories of everything floods my mind like a glass filling with water.
He locks the door from behind us and I begin to walk slowly through the large space.
"Would you like anything to drink?" I hear him ask from behind me.
I stop myself and I turn around to face him.
"No thank you."
"A-are you hungry?" He adds.
Wait did he just stutter?
I chuckle a little, causing him to....blush?
"No I'm fine."
He nods his head and looks down at the floor briefly before meeting my gaze again.
"Is there anything you need?" He mutters.
I feel my smile falter.
"Can we go to the back yard?"
He seems a little shocked by my request, but does not question it and instead begins to walk off, motioning me to follow him.
I think we need to talk, and I just feel that since the backyard is the only part of the house I have not seen.... I don't know...each room has at least one bad memory and I want to make a good memory in this one. Hopefully the memory will be of forgiveness and enjoyment. And if not...then it will just sadly add to the collection.
The breeze from outside, flows through my hair, making my ponytail swing back and forth.
I close the door from behind us and I quickly take off my heels, not wanting to feel any further pain from these dreadful shoes.
Harry walks to the middle of the very big yard and I follow once again.
"Everything is so beautiful." I say as my eyes roam the very grassy area.
Harry smiles slightly.
"Ya. It looks way better in person then from up there."
He points up to the balcony behind us and I just smile too, a few chuckles escaping my mouth.
"It does indeed." I agree.
We both look around, taking in our surroundings a while more before he speaks up again.
"Why did you want to come here?" He breaks the silence.
I sit myself down on the floor and I pat the spot next to me, Harry soon plopping himself down as well.
"I missed you Harry."
Harry looks at me absolutely bewildered.
"I missed you too."
I feel my heart stop and my stomach twist its usual way whenever Harry says things like that.
"You see... I didn't like being apart from you..." I admit.
He scoots himself closer to me, our thighs now touching.
"Then why did you? When I couldn't find you that day, I went mad. "
I feel my eyes beginning to gloss and I quickly sniffle.
"You left me no choice. You always hide things from me and I grew tired of it."
I look down at my lap and I close my eyes, knowing that he most likely is just going to make another excuse and not tell me anything again.
"Level Eleven..." He starts.
I raise my head and I give him my attention once again, cocking one eyebrow in confusion.
"The reason I was at the park in the first place was well....As you know, I go out drinking a lot."
I nod my head a little and he just sighs as he continues.
"Well the night before I went to a club and well I drank... Apparently paparazzi were there and took some not so pleasant photographs of me and the next day...the pictures were everywhere. Many of our fans kept on telling me how I've changed and how they're ashamed in me."
"They're just fans Harry. They don't know you personally."
He glances at me and just shakes his head as his eyes begin to gloss.
"That wasn't the only thing Jane. I woke up that day with a text from Gemma, my sister. She told me never to talk to her again... Apparently when I was drunk I called her and just cursed her out for no reason... That I blamed her for all my problems and-"
He rubs his face up and down with his hands.
"I fuck everything up Jane. I'm a fuck up, always have been and always will be. Why do you think Louis hates my guts? I got drunk at his little sister's party and ruined everything. He was one of the only people that still had faith in me and I ruined that too."
He can't even look at me and my chest is beginning to hurt.
"You're a human being. Everyone makes mistakes. You just have to move on with your life and learn from them." I say as I place my hand on his thigh.
He looks at it and just shuts his eyes tighter, removing it and placing it back on my lap.
"Everything I've done... I just don't want to ruin your life anymore Jane."
I grab his hand again and I lean myself back, laying down and stretching my legs out.
"Lay down with me." I say.
I feel him squeeze my hand tight as he does so.
I point up to the stars.
"We're all afraid of things. My mother was afraid of happiness, my father is afraid of power, Katherine's afraid of being alone, and you are afraid of forgiveness and judgment."
"What are you afraid of?" Harry asks.
"The future... I don't want to grow up...Growing up means everything has to change and I just want everything to be as it was."
As I continue staring at the night sky, I begin to think about the time I surprised my father with a mug I made out of blue playdoh for him in my Kindergarten class. He was so happy and even bought me ice cream that day.
"Then stay young forever."
I lean on my left side and Harry the same, but on his right and we just stare at each other.
"Maybe I will... Will you do it with me? We can both be young forever and not have to worry about anything ever again. It would just be you and me."
His lips part at my words.
"You would want me to?"
I nod my head and continue staring into his green eyes. Green...My new favorite color because well, that's the color of his beautiful eyes.
My heart flutters at the thought.
"Yes... you're not a monster Harry. You're amazing."
His mouth closes and his eyes become intense as they continue to gaze into my soul.
I feel my hand remove itself from his, rising up and beginning to trace the features of his face like that one time before.
His eyes never leave mine, and I feel his hand stop my own.
"Harry-"
Before I know it, he puts me on my back and puts his hands on both sides of me, towering over me like that one night.
"Harry." I repeat.
He lowers his head down to my ear.
"This time I'm not holding back." he whispers, sending my stomach to explode before he pulls his head slightly back and places his lips softly on my own.
And at this moment I finally realize...I'm in love with him.

Notes