Loose Change (Harry Styles) [BOOK 2]

"Why we're you on the phone with him?! And don't you dare even try to lie to me and say that it wasn't him." I say as I stomp myself towards him.
He sits up completely straight and begins to tangle his fingers in his hair in a very nervous way, heating me up even more.
"Um I-"
"Why is it so hard for you to tell me the truth for once in your life? What have I ever done to you that makes you treat me like this? Please tell me!" I practically beg as I try to hold in all the moisture that is trying to leak out.
His eyes stare into my most likely red ones, making him shut his tight out of guilt and regret.
"You're just drunk Jane. You're not going to remember any of this tomorrow. Just...just go." He says as his eyes slowly open.
I shake my head out of frustration. That is really his response?!
"I'm not- I. You know what... you're right." I retort, causing his eyes to widen a little. He just nods as his body becomes less stiff and more calm.
I nod my head back and I take a deep breath before I turn around and I saunter out of his room without another word.
Even though Louis is kind of my friend now, I don't want to talk to him or anyone about anything that has happened. All I want to do is leave and I don't just mean this room, I want to leave this house and Harry and just everything. I want to escape and just try to leave to help myself get a better life and to succeed. I'm sick of having to wait around alone each day, just waiting for something spontaneous to happen. Rose would want me to have a better life, I want to too. And that's what I intend to do.
I walk to my room and I slowly and tiredly close the door before I lock it. My eyes roam the room and memories of everything that has happened in just the last few weeks frame in my mind. The first time I was in here when Liam and Niall saved me, when Harry carried me all the way from the park to here when I had a panic attack, when I started getting feelings for him, when I realized that I did...Which is another reason why I must depart from this place. It's haunting and controlling my life, or at least one of the beasts that live here is.
Everything I do, whether it's right or wrong should be decided by me, not by someone else. If I want to leave, I can. I'm nineteen for crying out loud. I'm legally considered an adult and I need to start acting independently like one.
My feet lead me to the recognizable dresser and my hand grabs my sketch book that is resting on top of it. I contemplate with myself whether or not I should take some clothes just in case and I end up just grabbing a few undergarments, one shirt, and a pair of sweat pants before I head to the window on top of the bed.
My knees are rested on the pillows as I try sliding up the window glass, to open it.
When my very little strength is finally put to use, the window finally opens, letting in a cold breeze. The feeling is quite refreshing and I enjoy it for a second before I put my right foot through the opening, following with my left. I need to get out of here as quickly as I can, before any of them find out.
My feet hit the ground a little harshly, but the pain in my knees soon subsides once I pick myself up from the floor. As I look around, I notice how my room was on the left side of the house as of many others. I begin to tip toe my way to the drive way underneath the glowing moonlight, not wanting anyone to hear me or think that I'm a burglar or something.
I've sneaked out many times in the homeless shelter, but this is probably more nerve racking then all of those situations combined. I don't know what would happen if one of the boys heard me and I don't know what would happen if Harry spotted me, but right now I don't care about that and it feels great to not care about my own actions or its consequences for once.
Once I'm finally in the drive way, right in front of the house, I begin to run my way down. All the anger, sadness, and utter humiliation I have felt today are all being released from my body as I use it as energy to help my short pale legs move at a rapid pace away from this area completely.
My mother has lied to me, my father has lied to me, Harry has lied to me, and just everyone I actually trust always end up lying to me and my heart is shattering with each dishonest word and breath that leaves these cynical people's mouths. There has only been about a few people that have not done anything to hurt me in anyway and one of them is tragically now under foster care, but the other one is perfectly easy to find.
I'm finally out of the rich neighborhood and I continue to run as I try to look for her apartment. I now understand why Forrest ran for years straight, it helped relieve himself of all the stresses in his life and if he we're a real character, I probably would've been one of the runners and hopefuls that joined him.
A white light temporarily blinds me and I soon stop to see what it is. When my vision becomes clear again, I notice how it's a Gas Stop. Perfect.
The Gas Stop looks as fancy as the houses in this area and I find it amusing as well as a little ridiculous. I look down to see the fluffy socks that are on my feet and I smile a little.
Then again I shouldn't really criticize since I look ridiculous myself at this moment.
Warmth hits me right when I walk inside the gas smelling building.
"Welcome." A middle aged women from behind a counter says.
I just wave and I scurry through the small store in search of a map. All I see are a bunch of portable small snack foods and cigarette lighters.
I hold the things in my arms and hands tighter as I walk to the lady.
"Excuse me, but do you have any maps of the city?" I question.
The woman looks very tired and uninterested, wrinkles and dark circles under her eyes that prove her exhaustion. I guess I would feel the same if I had to stay in this small place, helping many truck drivers find their way or assist them in pumping gas the whole day.
She yawns and nods slightly before bending down to get something from the counter I'm guessing.
"Here ya go." she comments as she hands me a wrinkled yellow brochure.
I place all my things on my left arm before I grab the pamphlet and I try to open it up, failing miserably in doing so as some of my things fall to the floor.
I mentally curse myself before I place my things on the counter and I bend down to pick up a shirt and my sketch book that is now on the dirty floor.
"Here let me help you sweetie." The woman states as she opens up the brochure, revealing a labeled zoomed in map and placing it on top of my things.
I stand up straight and I smile back, a little embarrassed.
She gives me a soft smile before turning her attention to the map.
"Okay, so right now you are here in Kantor drive." She states as she points to a spot on the map.
I nod my head.
"I need to go to Landon Avenue." I add.
She narrows her wrinkled tired eyes in concentration as she skims through the map intensely.
"That's right over here. About four miles West." She explains.
Four miles.... I guess that's not that bad.
I look up from the map and I smile.
"Thank you..."
I look down at her name tag.
"Mandy." I finish.
A genuine smile forms on her lips, her eyes thanking me for making her day. I bet a lot of people that come here treat her un politely.
"No problem...." She begins and I raise an eyebrow in confusion.
"Oh! Jane. My name's Jane." I say in realization.
"No problem Jane." She states before I grab my stuff, wave good bye, and I soon leave heading my way to Landon Avenue.
...
The apartment buildings here seem pretty normal and middle class looking. Even though it's dark, I can tell that the building is a dark red color, surrounded by very manicured looking flowers and trees, making it look simple yet cozy.
I have been walking for an hour and I am really exhausted. My socks have some holes in them, due to the many rocks I have stepped on and I am really cold. I ended up putting my arms through the sleeves for the legs of my sweat pants to keep me warm, but it still wasn't quite enough.
I can practically hear my teeth chattering together due to the very low temperature and I am craving warmth more than anything at this exact moment.
I walk up the stairs inside the building to go to the second floor and I cross my fingers in hope that I still remember the room number.
My hand trembles a little as it forms into a fist and begins to knock on the plain white wooden door that has the number 305 plastered on the top.
The door makes a creaking noise as it opens and I practically fall into Katherine's arms as she comes out.
"Jane. I-I are you okay?" She asks, obviously not expecting me at all.
I wrap my arms around her and she wraps hers tightly around me, already warmer then my pants.
"Katherine can I please stay here? I'm sorry it- I-I'm sorry." I mutter as I pull away, trying not to smother her any more.
Katherine looks at me with a little pity in her eyes, but this time I don't care. Katherine is like a mother to me, and I just want to be comforted for once.
"You're freezing! Of course you can stay dear."
She wraps her arm comfortingly around my shoulder as she guides me in her home, shutting and locking the door right behind us.
"Come. You can rest in Carly's room and you can take off those ridiculous pants from your arms and you can get into a real sweater."
I chuckle a little at her response, but then suddenly feel sad as everything smashes down on my mind, making me feel as if a thousand cement bricks filled with bad memories are raining down on me and me alone.
I follow her into a small bedroom that resembles a room that would be fitted for a girl Rose's age. The walls are a hot pink, there's a twin bed in the middle that has a cartoon flower comforter, with twinkling lights hanging from the ceiling. It reminds me a little of the room I used to have as a child, but is much smaller.
Katherine must've been sleeping when I knocked on her door, because she is wearing an ankle length white night gown and has a sleeping mask pulled over her head, using it like a headband.
"I have some of Carly's clothes here that you can change into once you shower, and when you get out, hot chocolate and warm cookies will be waiting for you. And if you want, you can tell me why you're here or if you are really tired you can sleep after and we'll talk about it in the morning." She says as she quickly begins to rummage through a white dresser filled with different types of pajamas.
I walk up to her and I hug her from behind.
"Thank you." I mutter, my voice cracking as tears begin to fall.
She turns around and faces me.
"Or we can talk about it now if you would like." She adds in a serious tone.
I wipe my eyes and I take a deep breath.
"My father didn't want me Kat. He left me to live at Harry's house and I just found out that he still keeps contact with Harry, and I heard something about a plan and I- I just didn't know what to do. I'm so confused and all I want is my mo-" I stop myself at the last word and I shake my head as I glance down at the purple rugged flooring.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just drop everything on you and you aren't my mother, and oh my gosh I apologize so much Katherine."
Why do I have to mess up everything?
Katherine just pulls me in for another hug and rubs a circle on my back like how my father used to do it when I was younger.
"Shhh. I'll always be here for you okay? You're like another daughter to me. Don't be embarrassed ever. Okay?" She mutters into my hair.
More tears trickle down my face, soaking some of the fabric of her attire.
I pull away slowly and I try to glue the pieces of myself back together as quickly as I can.
"I-I think I'm going to shower Kat. I brought some underwear so I'll just use that and I brought a shirt and pants as well." I say, trying to so dearly change the subject. I just poured out my whole mind and drowned this woman to death with it. I think she needs a breather and me as well before I lose my self and venture more into this dramatic insanity that is my life.
I can tell she's contemplating with herself whether or not she should just let this go temporarily or if she should stay and comfort me for a while longer. That's just the type of person Katherine is, and I feel very grateful and honored to even know such a being on this complicated and cynical planet.
I just smile, reassuring her that I'll be fine...at least until she leaves and I can finally just wash my emotions away along with the dirt I have from my long journey.
She smiles back, still unsure before she nods.
"Okay dear. I'll warm up the chocolate and milk for you and if you want, we can even watch a movie."
"Thank you Kat." I simply retort before she guides me to the bathroom and hands me a dry, clean towel.
I lock the door behind me and I shut my eyes tight as I silently breathe in and out, sniffling immensely as the storm in my mind begins to unleash, shooting lightning throughout my body.
I undress and slowly step into the small white shower, turning the plastic silver knob and awaiting for the warm water to hit my head.
My bottom lip begins to quiver and my knees begin to weaken before I slowly set myself on the shower's floor. Bringing my knees to my chest and just crying, beginning to wonder whether the water droplets that are now on my face are from me or from the tap water coming from the silver shower head right above.
"Why?" I feel myself whisper, even though I already know what the answer is going to be.
Silence.
...
I feel more comfortable, yet mentally exhausted as I step out of the bathroom, strolling to Katherine's kitchen/living area where she usually is. I've been to Katherine's house about three times before, so I am pretty well acquainted with the very small and quaint space.
The smell of chocolate invades my senses as I walk in, my assumptions being proven correct.
"Hi." Katherine states with a tired grin as she hands me a baby blue mug that say 'World's Best Mom' and a vanilla sugar cookie on a quilted white napkin.
"Hi." I respond as I take a small bite of the cookie and give her a small smile, showing her my gratefulness.
"Would you like to watch some television with me?" She questions as she grabs her own mug and her own cookie.
I spot the dark circles under her eyes and guilt begins to overcome me.
"No it's fine. You seem tired. Maybe another time."
She grabs my arm and forcefully drags me to her brown knitted looking couches.
I chuckle a little and she smiles.
"I am not that old you know. I can stay up as long as I want and do an all nighter or whatever Carly used to do with her friends at sleepovers."
I roll my eyes playfully at her funny attitude and I shrug.
"Didn't mean to underestimate you." I remark, causing her to laugh tiredly.
"You got that right. I may be old, but I still got spunk you know."
I nod my head quickly, a few chuckles escaping my lips.
She sits down on the corner right of the plush looking seat, and I on the opposite end.
She grabs the black old looking remote right next to her and clicks the TV on.
"What would you like to see?" She asks.
I bite my bottom lip in concentration as I narrow my eyes ahead of me.
"E news." I admit.
I know I said that I thought it was annoying, but I don't know. Right when Louis and Zayn came over, I didn't get to see whether that Kim girl finally got sued or not. This show is like a bad book that you so loathe yet have to finish just so you feel completed.
Katherine nods and places her cookie and mug on the glass coffee table in front of us, before pressing a button on the remote, revealing my guilty pleasure.
"I like the show too." Katherine admits as she snuggles her head into the pillow right behind her.
I hold the mug tighter in my grasp after I place my cookie safely on my lap.
"I mean it's okay, bu-"
Before I can finish my defense, something on the screen catches my eye.
"Harry Styles' secret search? Harry Styles, a member from the world wide group, One Direction has been non-stop on the streets. An eye-witness sent us this footage from her phone of him rushing through a local park in Virginia." A woman in a tight, yet flattering hot pink dress says before turning to a screen behind her.
I feel Katherine's eyes on me and right now all I can focus on is the video of Harry running his fingers through his hair nervously as he mutters things under his breath. He's at the park. The park where we met...searching for me.
Many girls, including the one videotaping are bar barding him with questions and requests as he sits himself down on the recognizable bench, his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees, resembling the position he was in the first time we met.
"HARRY!"
"HARRY CAN I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH?!"
"OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" I hear screamed excitedly in his face by many wealthy looking hopeful teens that are caging him as if he we're in animal.
He ignores everyone and slowly gets up, rubbing his whole face with his right hand.
The girl's don't dare to touch him, yet still continue with their crazy out bursts.
"HARRY WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"
"HARRY ARE NIALL AND LIAM HERE TOO?!"
He just walks passed them, his hands in the pockets of his black petticoat.
A little boy comes from nowhere and softly pokes Harry's back with his tiny hand.
Harry actually turns around and looks down at the boy with a blank expression on his face.
"I hope to be like you one day." The boy says in an adorable little tone.
Harry shakes his head slightly and turns his head to the side as he sighs.
"You don't want to be like me kid. You just don't" He responds before turning away and continuing to walk away, the sea of girl's continuing to take pictures and squeal as they stalk right behind him.
Before anything else is said or shown, the screen goes black.
I know Katherine turned off the TV and right now I don't know whether to feel grateful once again or displeased, but this time with myself and my fucking mixed and confused feelings.
"Katherine." I choke out as I wipe the tears I didn't know were on my cheeks.
I place the cup on the table and I place my hands over my eyes.
"Jane. Oh dear. Everything's going to be fine. Okay? Everything's going to be fine."
I feel her arms wrap around me for the hundredth time tonight.
"Katherine." I repeat.
"Yes sweetie?"
"I fucking hate E news." I reply.
But what I really meant to say was that I really hate how I still have feelings for that monster. For that tragically, beautifully, despicably, and dreadful beast with curly brown hair and enchanting, heart stopping, horrible emerald green eyes.

Notes