HARRY’S POV

When I find Gemma, she’s curled up in a love seat next to the back window, staring at the partially-lit garden. She’s facing the window, her back turned to me and her head resting on her hands on top of the back of the couch.

I sniff loud enough so that she’s aware of my presence, but she doesn’t move. I sit next to her and mimic her position, staring out the window as well. We sit in silence for a moment before I feel her gaze on me. I turn to her and we both chuckle.

“You alright?” I ask in a more serious tone, my voice hardly above a whisper.

“Of course I am,” she grins unconvincingly.

“There’s no use in lying, Gem,” I solemnly smile. “It’s all laid out and in the open and it sucks. Just react how you want to.”

She nods slowly for a moment before slumping over onto my shoulder and sobbing, “I can’t believe you didn’t fucking tell me.”

I turn my body so that she falls easily into my chest, and wrap my arms around her waist. I know she isn’t done talking, so I just stay quiet.

“I mean, it’s fine to not want to alarm everyone before you know for sure,” she bites her lip, formulating her thoughts as she sits up straight. “But, I’m your big sister, Harry. We used to be best friends, and I know you’re all grown up and famous and happily engaged, but I miss you. And with all of this, I just- I’ve never felt so separated from you in my life. It kills me. I mean, you told me at the same time as the lads and their girlfriends. Mum had me thinking you were wedding planning this whole week!”

My nostrils flare, and I know that if I start talking straight away, I’ll probably cry as well. So, I take a deep breath first in an attempt to bottle up my emotions.

“I hate that you feel that way. You’re still my sister and still my best friend. I just- I don’t know. I guess I’ve been selfish, and I never thought about it like that. I guess I just- I thought that it was painful enough to say once, so I’d have liked to do it only once. I’m sorry, Gems. I love you, and I miss you too. I know I’m never around-“

“No,” she wipes some tears from her cheeks, “I shouldn’t have blamed it on you. I know the pressure you’re under, and I know the kind of life you live. It just sucks to have that information thrown at you when you’re at a big table of people. I just want to be here for you, and I shouldn’t be blubbering over who knew first and all that petty shit.”

I shrug, “It’s not petty. I get it. I think about you all the time, Gemma. I miss you everyday.” I lean forward and hug her again, kissing her cheek briefly, “You should come stay here sometime soon. Might be filled with doctor’s visits and rehearsals, but we’d love to have you.”

Gemma grins, “I’d like that.”

“Great,” I smirk. “And you’re always welcome to join us on tour. Lou loves having you around with Lux and you’re always great company.”

Gemma scoffs, “As if you’re going on tour anytime soon. You heard Louis; he’s not letting anything potentially harmful happen to you.”

I sigh, “I think he’s being a little harsh. It’s not that serious-“

“It could be,” she interrupts, “and he’s perfectly right. You have to get your health sorted out before you worry about your career again. Louis has your best interest above all else and I love him for that.”

“Yeah,” I groan, “and I despise him for putting me over himself.”

“You too love each other too much,” Gemma rolls her eyes.

I ruffle her hair playfully, standing quickly before she can retort, “You make that sound like a bad thing.”

_______

LOUIS’ POV

While things simmer down as the night progresses, Liam and I don’t speak.

When he leaves, I don’t even acknowledge him. He apologizes to Harry and assures him that he didn’t mean anything by what he said. Harry of course, forgives him and gives him a great big hug goodbye. I just cross my arms and act busy looking at my cuticles.

My family leaves shortly after Liam and Sophia. The twins are yawning before they’re even out the door, and Mum spends too much time hugging me and Harry.

“Make sure you call if you need anything,” she makes us promise before she leaves and we both nod unenthusiastically.

Harry’s family leaves next, Anne a bit teary-eyed at the door. Robin rolls her suitcase out, obviously tired and ready to go home. Surely, he’s missed having his wife around. Anne has a private word with Harry before leaving, and I’m sure it’s about me.

I’ve never felt so much tension within our families before, and I absolutely hate it.

Zayn, Perrie, and Niall stay the night, joining Harry and I in the living room when everyone else is gone. We’ve got two empty bottles of wine and five glasses spread out on the coffee table by midnight.

“Please tell me you weren’t joking earlier, Z,” I plead as Harry cuddles onto my shoulder, slightly tipsy.

Zayn laughs and pulls a small case out of his pocket, “Do I ever joke about Mary J?”

I notice Harry rolling his eyes in my peripherals, but I know he’s doing so sarcastically. He sits up and settles for just holding my hand as Zayn pulls out a previously-rolled joint. Niall scoots his chair closer so that we essentially make a circle: Harry and I on one couch, Zayn and Perrie on another across from us, and Niall between Zayn and I.

Zayn lights the spliff and then hands it to Perrie. She takes a long drag and passes it back to Zayn before collapsing back against the couch.

“It’s been a long time since we all got high together,” Niall grins as Zayn passes the joint to him. “Too bad Li isn’t here.”

I try not to visibly roll my eyes when Niall sucks in the smoke, fully aware that I’m alone in my disdain.

I take the spliff next, taking a long, deep drag, my lungs feeling full from the amount of cigarettes I smoked earlier.

“You know,” Zayn says, resting his head on Perrie’s shoulder, “I don’t think he meant what he said. He just panicked a bit. I think he was just shocked and didn’t know what to do.”

I shake my head, holding the smoke in before turning to Harry. I raise my eyebrows and he chuckles, nodding and placing his palms on either side of my face. I press our lips together and seal the path for the smoke to travel, blowing it all from my lungs to his.

When I can breathe again, I kiss the back of Harry’s hand, which is still in mine, and say, “I don’t care what he meant. Everyone else’s first inclination was for Harry to get better. His was selfish. I just need time to cool down is all.”

Harry exhales and leans over to hand the small amount left of the joint to Perrie.

“I just don’t get why you’re so mad,” Harry adds, squeezing my hand. “He was just trying to be democratic and think fairly for everyone.”

“Then I guess I’m fucking Stalin for wanting my fiancé to be healthy above all else,” I sass, still only angry at Liam.

“That’s not it,” Perrie butts in, carefully shifting the roach between her fingers and Zayn’s. “He wants Harry better, too. He’s just scared, yeah? Isn’t everyone? He just handled it a different way. Just call him tomorrow and I’m sure things will be just fine.”

I shrug and hand Harry his wine again before taking my own, knowing that we won’t get another drag from the joint. I don’t feel like I need it, if I’m honest. I’m buzzed off the wine and the hit was enough to make me feel sufficiently inebriated. I still want to make love to Harry tonight, and I know exactly how drunk and high I can be and still make it enjoyable. We need it after the day we’ve had. I need to show him I love him, and he needs to feel unconditionally loved.

“We’ll see,” I conclude in disinterest. “Well, you lot can stay up as late as you’d like. The guest beds are made up, so make yourself at home. I think we’re going to turn in.”

I squeeze Harry’s hand and he nods in agreement. I can see the smirk and light blush in his cheeks.

“Christ,” Niall sighs. “You two go at it more than anyone I know. I’m the single one for fuck’s sake.”

I laugh as I pull Harry along behind me, our glasses in our hands. I let go of Harry’s hand to pat Niall’s head, “You’ll never have as much sex as us, young Niall. Get over it.”

Everyone laughs except for Harry, who is ushering me along to the stairs, probably a bit embarrassed. He always gets that way when I’m blatant like that.

At the top of the stairs, I press his body against the wall, using my free hand to feel along his body, “What do you want tonight?”

Harry leans his head up and presses his open mouth to mine. He tastes like wine, the flavor fuller on my tongue as I suck on his stained lips.

“Don’t care,” he breathes hotly. “Whatever you’re up for.”

I smirk, reaching around and pinching his arse, “You know damn well that I’m always up for everything with you.”

Harry winks, “I know, that’s why I said it.”

I kiss him again, briefly with a quiet moan, “You’re so sexy.”

Harry hums in delight and bucks his hips against mine, “I’ve got to show you something before we get carried away.”

I cock my head to one side and frown, “Please tell me it won’t take too long. I’m aching for you.”

Harry blushes and I notice the glint in his eyes from the moonlight shining through the windows, “Not too long, no. I just- I want to show you now, because I’m relaxed and I’ll be less nervous.”

I literally have no idea where he’s going with this, so I take a shot in the dark, “If you’re going to give me a lap dance, you should never be nervous.”

Harry giggles and shakes his head, “No, just go wait on the bed and keep your clothes on.”

I pout, but start walking toward our room, “That doesn’t sound like fun.”

He walks into the music room across the hall and chuckles. I shrug to myself and obey, entering our room and sitting myself down in the middle of the bed, my legs crossed.

Harry comes back quickly with his acoustic guitar in his hand, a dopey smile on his face. He joins me on the bed, none too gracefully, and crosses his legs in front of me.

“Alright, so I’ve been practicing this song for a while- Ed’s been teaching me, and I wanted to play it for you at the wedding or something and I just think,” he pauses and adjusts the guitar on his lap, spreading his fingers on the neck to form a chord on the strings, “I think that now, more than ever, these lyrics mean a lot to me for us. So, here’s a sneak peak. This is for you, okay?”

I gulp and nod as he starts to strum the strings, fumbling around for a few seconds until he’s ready. He nods to himself and plays the first few chords perfectly.

“When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks,”


As he sings, he smiles, his dimples standing out more than ever. My mouth feels dry and my heart feels heavy. Not in a sad way, necessarily, but in an overwhelmed and intense way.


“And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am.”


His voice sounds incredible. It always does, but when we’re on breaks, his voice gets to rest and it sounds so controlled and wonderful. I scoot myself closer to him so that our knees are knocking against each other.

“So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are,”


As he plays the chords, he stares at me. I can’t imagine how much he’s been practicing, because he hardly looks down at his fingers. Harry’s so easy to read. Maybe it’s just me, but I can just see the love on his face.


“When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same,”


If only he could know how much I love him. I know he’ll never know. It’s a love that’s impossible to convey. It’s just how it is, and no one could ever put it into words or into a song.


“’Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory,”


He smirks then, adding in a quick, “It’s true,” before continuing, and my heart flutters at his darling smile.



“I’m thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand,”


His voice rasps then, soulful and deep. He closes his eyes, feeling the music and the emotion behind it. My stomach does flips, and I feel like I’m eighteen again, falling in love with the young curly-headed boy all over again.


“But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh,”


He strums the pick against the strings in perfect time, his legs bobbing along with the beat as it quickens.


“So baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are,”


Harry strums a couple more chords and opens his eyes, leaning his body closer to mine until our noses are brushing. He grins and takes a shallow breath.


“Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are.”



He more hums the last word against my lips with his palm against my cheek. The strings of the guitar make a screeching sound as he leans closer into me. He reaches between us and pulls the guitar away, setting it on the bench at the end of our bed. He throws the red pick onto the floor, uninterested in where it lands. He pushes me back so that I’m laid across the width of the bed, his body flush with mine.


“I love you so much, Louis,” he speaks feverishly, with purpose and intent. “I’ll never stop. You’re everything I need.”

I moan unintelligibly, carding my fingers through his long hair and pulling him into a deep kiss, speaking against his lips, “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I think I do know,” he pulls back, breathing shortly. “Because I feel it, too.”

We kiss again, for much longer this time, the sound of our pants and heavy breaths filling the air.

Harry slowly undresses the two of us, starting with our shirts and working down. It’s when he has us both down to our briefs that I whisper into his neck, “I want you to top tonight. Make love to me, Harry.”

I can hear his breath catch, and he groans as he slides his hardening cock against mine, “Fuck, yeah. Let me get something. I’ll be right back.”

He hurries to the closet, leaving me a whimpering mess, kicking of my too-tight briefs in a fury.

Notes

to be continued, don’t worry... haha I’m just super tired, so I’ll have to write more for next time. I feel like I need to write the next smut scene, though, since we don’t get much top harry in this fic ;)

song by Ed Sheeran- Thinking Out Loud :) he’s such a brilliant songwriter. love me some Ed.

please comment and rate so i feel motivated to write the next chapter sooooon :D