Back For You
"Ry, what are you doing?" I heard Gemma say as she shuffled around in the pull out bed that we were sharing. It was 5:45am, everyone has been asleep for two hours now, since we gave up on playing in the rain. Harry and Gemma always had the spare key to their step-dad Robin's cabin just a 45 minute drive outside Holmes Chapel, we figured instead of having Anne wake up to us all sprawled across her living room floor we'd save her the hassle.
"I'm going to pee," I said as I slid my feet into my flip flops and threw on my old high school sweater that was on the floor. I wasn't going to pee, I was going outside to do the one thing that I always loved doing whenever we came up here for a week or two in the summer. Watch the sunrise.
Looking at my phone screen, 5:48. Perfect. I had more than enough time to grab an old blanket and make myself a cup of tea.
Sliding the screen door open I made my way into the dark backyard, moving toward one of the long benches that Anne and myself begged Robin to build and put up for us at the far end of the compound. We loved sitting out there with a cup of tea in the late evenings or early mornings, talking and just catching up on anything and everything. This is what I missed the most about being away from home; the beauty that Holmes Chapel held. The dew filled grass that I was walking through at this hour, trying my best not to get the blanket dirty. The fresh country side air that filled my lungs with every breath. The sunrise and sunsets every morning.
Making my way to the bench I sat down stretching my legs out across the table just in front of the comfy bench I was sitting on, and rested my mug on the side table that wiggled whenever you placed anything on it. 6:01, I had a while to wait as I pulled out my notebook. I've kept this notebook for about 6 years now, it was huge; filled with thoughts, dreams, wishes, bucket lists, anything else I didn't want to keep in my head. One of my favourite english teachers in High School, once told me that once something is on paper is doesn't have power over you anymore, the thoughts that bother us a night only bother us because we chose to put our mind over matter. Ever since then I've carried round this notebook with me in my bag and whenever I had any downtime I would write. She always stressed to us to always write things down, and explained to us the true power of writing. She always believed that you could live your life multiple times through writing. Memories fade, pictures get lost and keep sakes go missing; but writing will always last.
"Jesus, Harry you scared the shit out of my" I said closing my notebook and laying it on the side table,
"Sorry, what are you doing out here. It's bloody freezing" Harry said looking out into the dark distance ahead. He was wearing what he fell asleep cuddled up with Laura in, black jeans and a long sleeve shirt. He had on his beanie.
"Waiting for the sun," I said as I pulled the large blanket closer to my body.
"You always do this huh?" Harry said as he continued to stare forward, rubbing his hands together for warmth.
"Yeah," I said as I grabbed my cup of tea from the side table.
"Well I'm up. Scoot over," Harry said looking down at me, before a yawn broke through his face.
"Buzz, off. Plus you look like you're going to fall asleep any second," I said as I stretched as best as I could to take up more room on the bench.
"So what," Harry said as he lifted my legs and the blanket up and sat down before placing my legs across his as he stretched his to rest on the coffee table, then pulling the blanket tight around the both of us. "Alright?" he asked, looking at me, a smirk crossing his face.
"I hate you," I said as I glared at him before sipping my tea.
"Can I get a sip?" Harry said reaching out for the cup.
"You're lucky I haven't kicked you off the bench yet, don't push it" I said as I wriggled around trying to find a comfortable spot. Harry hated when I did that, every time we would sit down to watch a movie I tend to move around at least 10 times before a settle myself down. I felt Harry's hand find legs underneath the blanket, leaving it to rest there.
"Comfortable yet?" Harry asked impatiently, eyes locked on mine.
"Yup, good to go. You?" I asked as I tried to feel out as much as I could of the space that we were filling in the little light that the moon gave off. I felt Harry's fingers resting on my legs drumming the beat to a song that he probably got stuck in his head. I looked at the one had that was resting on the blanket, analyzing the tattoos that he had around his wrist, the watch that his dad gave him that he had never once taken off and the place that our old friendship bracelet used to hang.
"You know I've always hated that padlock tattoo," I said as I ran my fingers over Harry's wrist, tracing over the print. I loved tracing over Harry's tattoo's the rose on his elbow, the two hands shaking and the boat.
"Why," Harry asked looking down at his arm that was in my hands now.
"Because, it never made sense it was just random. You came home with that randomly one day, when we asked you why you got it you said "I felt like it"," I said mocking Harry's lazy voice.
"It does have a meaning, all of my tattoos have a meaning. Or a funny story surrounding it" Harry said as he flipped my wrist upside down looking at my second of the only two tattoos that I had. It was a small anchor, and it had my dad and Anne's initials engraved in it. The two most influential people in my life. I got it before I moved to Australia four years ago, Harry came with me to get it done and I cried even before they started, but Harry was there holding my hand…
"I'll never forgive you for letting go" I said as I recalled the moment exactly when Harry let go of my hand. Even if it was only because the tattoo artist needed him to.
"You know I had to"
"I have two Hands Harry" I said waving my hands around, before he laughed as he pulled my wrist back and started playing with my fingers. It was something he had always done, whenever he was bored or nervous or even tired he would lift up my wrist and trace circles on it, or play with my ring that my dad gave me or just aimlessly intertwine our fingers together.
"So how much longer," Harry asked as he yawned for what felt like the hundredth time.
"About 10 or 15 minutes," I said after checking my phone.
"I missed you Ry," Harry said after a few moments of silence. He turned his head to look out at the darkness ahead.
"I missed you too, Haz" I said as I punched his shoulder and watched that cheshire cat smile creep on to his face. "We need to spend a day doing nothing" I said smiling back at Harry.
Whenever I would spend a week out with him on tour in a new city or country we would always ponder the idea of what to do to spend our day: see the sights of the city, go to the nearest amusement park to even try the signature food. In the end we'd always agree on the same thing. Doing absolutely nothing. Being around Harry was always enough for me, watching the way his dimple would creep onto his face whenever he would tell a story. Or the way he would make sure to greet every fan that would come outside their hotels and even the venues that they were playing at. It was the way he acted as though even though he was living the dream, nothing around him had changed; he was still the same. I guess even now looking at Harry the way his eyes slowly closed as the sleep he never was able to attain crept over him, it's times like this that are enough for me. Spending time with Harry, would always be enough for me.
"Harry?" I said as he held on to my hand "Harry you're going to miss it," I said whispering, feeling horrible for waking him up. He shivered as the morning breeze blew past us, so I pulled up the blanket over both of us. His hand still never leaving mine. That's when it happened.
It started slowly, but then it was as if colours of orange and yellow filled the sky. Turning the dark sky in to vibrant colours and lighting it up. It was the colour of hope, of promise of the future. It was everything we didn't know, everything that is full of fear and longing and desire. It was everything that came with the long journey ahead.
I shuffled around till I found myself in a comfortable spot next to Harry. Both of us warm under the covers, my legs still resting over his lap. His hand in mine.
"It's beautiful" I heard Harry whisper, after a few minutes of watching the sky.
"I thought you were sleeping?" I said as a yawn broke through my face.
"I was," Harry said moving under the blanket. "Now I get why you and Mum love this" He said looking down at me, before licking his lips.
"It's amazing isn't it" I said as I yawned.
"mmm" I heard Harry hum beside me. Before it all went silent.
I opened my eyes to take one last look at the sky, at the day ahead.
One less day of spending time with my best friend. The time that was getting cut short.
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- Allie .xxx