DARKER DESIRES
CHAPTER 31: Opposite Sides Attract
Jessica’s P.O.V
Cold water and deep depths was not my thing, they just freak me out in a way. But I thought what wouldn’t be a better way than facing your fears while hoping you kill yourself. I sat there floating in the water; the impacts of the waves were pushing towards shore so I pushed myself further out into the sea. Is this how it feels to drown? You have limited air supply, you have plenty of time to think if you should go through with this or not plus your alone so if you do decide to chicken out nobody is here to safe you nor help you.
My air was to the last inch of living, Harry wasn’t coming and I just wanted to let go. But deep inside something kept drawing me to realization, stop Jessica! What are you doing?! You’re breaking Harry’s heart, even your mothers and she doesn’t even know half the stuff Harry knows right now. Forget it! I can’t pull through this, I swam up towards the light I broke surface I took one big breath. I glanced over at the shore; Harry was still standing there that’s weird. He had his hands cupped around his mouth, I couldn’t hear him and he knew it so he pointed behind me. I turned around and a massive wave was hovering over my head. “Oh Fuck!”.
The water came crashing down over my head forcing me back under. I felt like I was moving in one spot, I tried to reach for the surface again but the waves under the water summer salted me around and around; making me dizzy. Now this is the perfect time for Harry to save me. The liquid substance felt like one big giant hole that kept sucking me under, now I defiantly have no chance of escaping. I can see it now, the girl who once had a chance of living again died…..do to her Dumb! Ass Boyfriend! Who just sat on the shor---……My arm floundering threw the water was tugged by a big hand.
The hand clasped around my arm then used its other hand to grab my hips. Well thanks dumbass but I’m already passed out, my eyes fell without me trying. I felt at ease with myself like I was in a whole other planet that consist of only me, though I didn’t know what was going on I could still feel my body being pushed through the tough collisional impacts of water.
His hand lingered for a few seconds before they were gone just like that. My body was shoved above surface; I could feel the light air that wraps my body perfectly, I could smell civilization already.
The sand tangled into my skin – sticking, the surface was warm just how I like it. Somebody came walking beside me breathing heavenly. Sprinkles of wetness trickles on to my back, sending shivers down my spinal cord. “Jess?” Harry’s voice soothed my heart but I hate that I couldn’t respond. His hand traveled down my spine “Wake up Jess, come on I love you, I love you I’m sorry……” He trailed off, saying something else. Oh I love you too Harry, I’m the one that should be sorry, oh gosh babe this was all wrong this was all my fault. Harry lifts my wrist, I could tell he doubted himself by the way he jerked my arm away but continued to raise it to his face.
Then before I knew it a sharp puncture injected into my skin, I shot my eyes open I was fully awake. “Aaaahh” “I’m sorry baby hold on” Harry dug his teeth deeper into my skin, what the fuck! This shit hurt more than having sex for the first time. “Stop, Harry it hurts!” He kept sucking, his eyes changed color he was now somebody else that I didn’t know and this scared the hell out of me. I grabbed my arm away but his hand was held firmly, pressing my wrist deeper into his face.
My body grew weaker and weaker, my eyes were falling again. “Stop….” Just as my eyes fully closed Harry’s mouth moved away from my skin, he let go of my arm letting it fall into the sand. I laid there half dead half alive, a jolt zinged through my body what was that? The thumping rhythm of my heart slowed down to a fading tempo – I took a big gasp until my heart stopped.
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I popped my eyes open and sat up, patting my hand everywhere. Where’s….how, what happened to me? My body felt empty and light….I stared off into the water, I knew I didn’t want to but I had to. I eased my hand up towards my chest and brace fully pressed my palm into my chest over my heart.
“Don’t bother” I snap my neck to look over at Harry sitting off in the sand alone. He had his knees bent and his elbows resting on top, he just now lifted his head to look at me – the blood dried on the corner of his mouth. “Am….I…” He shook his head yes. “So I’m a….” He shrugged his shoulders. “Say it!” His eyes focused more sternly on me. “A vampire?” This didn’t feel right, is this how it feels dead…useless, lifeless? “I’m sorry Jess” Harry quickly got off the ground not caring if the sand stuck to his jeans.
He walked in front of me pacing back and forth. “Listen Jess if you….” “Harry it---….” “Stop, I’m talking!” I blinked my eyes in disbelieve. “Whoa, you’re the one who didn’t want to talk to me.” He stopped for a moment. “Really love? And your my ex-girlfriend who decided to cheat on me” I opened my mouth for response but he gave me the “Shut up” look. “I-I thought once I saw you go into that water you were gone, gone forever. And I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel or I wasn’t supposed to help you because that’s how I was taught I was taught not to feel”
“But, for some reason I wanted to save your stubborn ass. I don’t even know why….” “So, I was a mistake?” I shook my head, thinking he would agree “No, I never said that!” I rolled my eyes. “I love you Jessica Collins…what’s your middle name?” “Dead. Cause that’s all I’ll ever be” His smile dropped. “Okay, okay Lynn” He squinted his eyes “Lynn?” I rolled my eyes again. “Whatever, Jessica Lynn Collins you gave me a reason to live, you made me feel alive even though I’m dead” I waved my hand in the air “I’m dead Too”
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Harry’s P.O.V
It’s not as easy to switch into my sentimental side, I’m kind of a seductive bad ass but I’ve been seeing myself ease away from that title lately. “You have this life ahead of you” “What life?” She interrupted me again. “Your life” She got up from the sand wiping off her butt, she walked up to me with confidence; putting her hands on her hips. “I’m dead” I opened my mouth but she raised her hand. “I’m dead too, I’m a vampire too so this is our life not just mine anymore” Well….that was touching.
“Jessica, you don’t get it….I’m not going to be with you anymore, I don’t know you anymore we can’t be together, we can’t live together, live our lives together” She smacked me across the face, I couldn’t feel it but I wanted to make her feel like she won. "You Fucked up boy” She grabbed her bag and blanket off the sand and headed towards the stairs. “Oh Jessica, baby….you know you want me” She stopped and turned around “As if!” She continued storming off towards the street.
I sped up to her, she was walking all fast and in a hurry but I was walking in long slow strides maybe because of my extended legs. “The problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returned. Humans are vulnerable because their capable of being hurt” She flapped her hand in the air. “I don’t have time to hear your quote’s from that party” Check One! “When’s the last time….you’ve been kissed, when’s the last time you’ve been touched…when’s the last time you’ve had rip-your-shirt-off-i-need-you-now sex?” She was thrown off guard. “I don’t think you need to know that, and frankly I don’t think I want to rehash our conversation from our first date”
I smiled at the corner of my mouth. Check Two! She got to her car; I watched as she hurriedly grabbed a dress out of the bag and slid it on. “That dress was made to be stripped off….” She blew out in disgust and rolled her eyes. She opened her car door and quickly slid into the
driver’s seat. She grabbed the door and slammed it, but I grabbed it with my hand. “You passed” She stared at me curiously. “Passed what?!” I held my hand up in resistance. “Don’t have to get snippy” She creased her eyebrows. “You fucking said that I should basically forget you exist so…” She motioned her hands for me to shoo away. I leaned closer into the car her eyes widened. “Everything I just said, you remembered exactly where it happened” “So? Girls don’t forget they forgive” I giggled. “Stop laughing and let me go home” I leaned in closer to her face “Harry, stop” I moved closer “Have you ever had sex in a car?” She blushed. “Stop Harry, you don’t want to be with me remember?” I grabbed her jaw line. “That’s what I thought before I saw you lying on the beach” “So, if I wasn't dead?”
"We probably still would be arguing or, i would have stormed off home to take care of.....nevermind" She was searching for the end of my sentence but it led her nowhere. "Would you like to take this to the backseat love?"
"I don't want you and i don't want your weird, i only fuck bullshit" She shoved me back a little, I can't believe what i'm going to say. "Well....do you want to try sex?"
Cold water and deep depths was not my thing, they just freak me out in a way. But I thought what wouldn’t be a better way than facing your fears while hoping you kill yourself. I sat there floating in the water; the impacts of the waves were pushing towards shore so I pushed myself further out into the sea. Is this how it feels to drown? You have limited air supply, you have plenty of time to think if you should go through with this or not plus your alone so if you do decide to chicken out nobody is here to safe you nor help you.
My air was to the last inch of living, Harry wasn’t coming and I just wanted to let go. But deep inside something kept drawing me to realization, stop Jessica! What are you doing?! You’re breaking Harry’s heart, even your mothers and she doesn’t even know half the stuff Harry knows right now. Forget it! I can’t pull through this, I swam up towards the light I broke surface I took one big breath. I glanced over at the shore; Harry was still standing there that’s weird. He had his hands cupped around his mouth, I couldn’t hear him and he knew it so he pointed behind me. I turned around and a massive wave was hovering over my head. “Oh Fuck!”.
The water came crashing down over my head forcing me back under. I felt like I was moving in one spot, I tried to reach for the surface again but the waves under the water summer salted me around and around; making me dizzy. Now this is the perfect time for Harry to save me. The liquid substance felt like one big giant hole that kept sucking me under, now I defiantly have no chance of escaping. I can see it now, the girl who once had a chance of living again died…..do to her Dumb! Ass Boyfriend! Who just sat on the shor---……My arm floundering threw the water was tugged by a big hand.
The hand clasped around my arm then used its other hand to grab my hips. Well thanks dumbass but I’m already passed out, my eyes fell without me trying. I felt at ease with myself like I was in a whole other planet that consist of only me, though I didn’t know what was going on I could still feel my body being pushed through the tough collisional impacts of water.
His hand lingered for a few seconds before they were gone just like that. My body was shoved above surface; I could feel the light air that wraps my body perfectly, I could smell civilization already.
The sand tangled into my skin – sticking, the surface was warm just how I like it. Somebody came walking beside me breathing heavenly. Sprinkles of wetness trickles on to my back, sending shivers down my spinal cord. “Jess?” Harry’s voice soothed my heart but I hate that I couldn’t respond. His hand traveled down my spine “Wake up Jess, come on I love you, I love you I’m sorry……” He trailed off, saying something else. Oh I love you too Harry, I’m the one that should be sorry, oh gosh babe this was all wrong this was all my fault. Harry lifts my wrist, I could tell he doubted himself by the way he jerked my arm away but continued to raise it to his face.
Then before I knew it a sharp puncture injected into my skin, I shot my eyes open I was fully awake. “Aaaahh” “I’m sorry baby hold on” Harry dug his teeth deeper into my skin, what the fuck! This shit hurt more than having sex for the first time. “Stop, Harry it hurts!” He kept sucking, his eyes changed color he was now somebody else that I didn’t know and this scared the hell out of me. I grabbed my arm away but his hand was held firmly, pressing my wrist deeper into his face.
My body grew weaker and weaker, my eyes were falling again. “Stop….” Just as my eyes fully closed Harry’s mouth moved away from my skin, he let go of my arm letting it fall into the sand. I laid there half dead half alive, a jolt zinged through my body what was that? The thumping rhythm of my heart slowed down to a fading tempo – I took a big gasp until my heart stopped.
……………………………….
………………
………….
……..
…..
…
..
.
I popped my eyes open and sat up, patting my hand everywhere. Where’s….how, what happened to me? My body felt empty and light….I stared off into the water, I knew I didn’t want to but I had to. I eased my hand up towards my chest and brace fully pressed my palm into my chest over my heart.
“Don’t bother” I snap my neck to look over at Harry sitting off in the sand alone. He had his knees bent and his elbows resting on top, he just now lifted his head to look at me – the blood dried on the corner of his mouth. “Am….I…” He shook his head yes. “So I’m a….” He shrugged his shoulders. “Say it!” His eyes focused more sternly on me. “A vampire?” This didn’t feel right, is this how it feels dead…useless, lifeless? “I’m sorry Jess” Harry quickly got off the ground not caring if the sand stuck to his jeans.
He walked in front of me pacing back and forth. “Listen Jess if you….” “Harry it---….” “Stop, I’m talking!” I blinked my eyes in disbelieve. “Whoa, you’re the one who didn’t want to talk to me.” He stopped for a moment. “Really love? And your my ex-girlfriend who decided to cheat on me” I opened my mouth for response but he gave me the “Shut up” look. “I-I thought once I saw you go into that water you were gone, gone forever. And I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel or I wasn’t supposed to help you because that’s how I was taught I was taught not to feel”
“But, for some reason I wanted to save your stubborn ass. I don’t even know why….” “So, I was a mistake?” I shook my head, thinking he would agree “No, I never said that!” I rolled my eyes. “I love you Jessica Collins…what’s your middle name?” “Dead. Cause that’s all I’ll ever be” His smile dropped. “Okay, okay Lynn” He squinted his eyes “Lynn?” I rolled my eyes again. “Whatever, Jessica Lynn Collins you gave me a reason to live, you made me feel alive even though I’m dead” I waved my hand in the air “I’m dead Too”
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Harry’s P.O.V
It’s not as easy to switch into my sentimental side, I’m kind of a seductive bad ass but I’ve been seeing myself ease away from that title lately. “You have this life ahead of you” “What life?” She interrupted me again. “Your life” She got up from the sand wiping off her butt, she walked up to me with confidence; putting her hands on her hips. “I’m dead” I opened my mouth but she raised her hand. “I’m dead too, I’m a vampire too so this is our life not just mine anymore” Well….that was touching.
“Jessica, you don’t get it….I’m not going to be with you anymore, I don’t know you anymore we can’t be together, we can’t live together, live our lives together” She smacked me across the face, I couldn’t feel it but I wanted to make her feel like she won. "You Fucked up boy” She grabbed her bag and blanket off the sand and headed towards the stairs. “Oh Jessica, baby….you know you want me” She stopped and turned around “As if!” She continued storming off towards the street.
I sped up to her, she was walking all fast and in a hurry but I was walking in long slow strides maybe because of my extended legs. “The problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returned. Humans are vulnerable because their capable of being hurt” She flapped her hand in the air. “I don’t have time to hear your quote’s from that party” Check One! “When’s the last time….you’ve been kissed, when’s the last time you’ve been touched…when’s the last time you’ve had rip-your-shirt-off-i-need-you-now sex?” She was thrown off guard. “I don’t think you need to know that, and frankly I don’t think I want to rehash our conversation from our first date”
I smiled at the corner of my mouth. Check Two! She got to her car; I watched as she hurriedly grabbed a dress out of the bag and slid it on. “That dress was made to be stripped off….” She blew out in disgust and rolled her eyes. She opened her car door and quickly slid into the
driver’s seat. She grabbed the door and slammed it, but I grabbed it with my hand. “You passed” She stared at me curiously. “Passed what?!” I held my hand up in resistance. “Don’t have to get snippy” She creased her eyebrows. “You fucking said that I should basically forget you exist so…” She motioned her hands for me to shoo away. I leaned closer into the car her eyes widened. “Everything I just said, you remembered exactly where it happened” “So? Girls don’t forget they forgive” I giggled. “Stop laughing and let me go home” I leaned in closer to her face “Harry, stop” I moved closer “Have you ever had sex in a car?” She blushed. “Stop Harry, you don’t want to be with me remember?” I grabbed her jaw line. “That’s what I thought before I saw you lying on the beach” “So, if I wasn't dead?”
"We probably still would be arguing or, i would have stormed off home to take care of.....nevermind" She was searching for the end of my sentence but it led her nowhere. "Would you like to take this to the backseat love?"
"I don't want you and i don't want your weird, i only fuck bullshit" She shoved me back a little, I can't believe what i'm going to say. "Well....do you want to try sex?"
Notes
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3/18/14