Behind The Backstage Doors

Alison woke up to her phone buzzing next to her. She picked it up but her eyes still hadn't got used to the light coming out of the window so she couldn't see the caller ID.

"Hello?" she answered, her voice still hoarse of the sleep.

"Finally! I've been trying to call you," Josh said on the other end. Alison sat up and rubbed her eyes while he talked. "We've to leave to the airport like in three hours and I'm outside your hotel door..."

"Wait a minute!" she cut him off and dragged herself out of the bed. She had been sleeping just in an old t-shirt and knickers so she put on jeans before going to open the door.

"Need help with the packing?" Josh asked with a smirk on his face while he leaned against the doorway. He pointed at the floor that was almost covered with Alison's stuff.

"No I just-" she shook her head. "Actually. It's good you're here. I've got something to talk to you about," she said while stepping out of his way and letting him in.

"Nice shirt," Josh said when they were standing in the middle of the room. Alison looked down at the shirt she was wearing and it was then when she realized the shirt was actually Harry's old one. He had gave it to her so she wouldn't miss him when they were still together and he was going to outside of the country for a week. The shirt was black with Rolling Stones -logo but she had a few other Rolling Stones shirts so she hadn't remembered this was Harry's. After her realization she blushed bright red.

"T-thanks," she managed to say, still staring at the shirt. Josh cleared his throat to get her attention again and she raised her head. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Uh just... something about yesterday," she started.

"Ahh yeah I actually wanted to talk about that too!" Josh exclaimed.

"So I just thought that..." she wanted to ask about the kiss but when Josh was looking at her with a smile on his face she couldn't do that.

"Are you trying to say that maybe we should do that again sometime? Just spend the day together," he asked and her shoulders slumped. She found herself nodding and giving a little smile to him and he gave her thumbs up before starting to walk towards the door.

"Okay! I'll leave you to it then," he said while nodding towards her suitcase. Before exiting the door he gave her a wink and she knew she had ruined the chance to tell that she wanted to be just friends. She sighed out loudly and started to get ready for the day.

-----

She knew she needed to talk to Harry also and the sooner the better. And when she had packed and done all the excuses why she couldn't go to his room she knew she didn't have much choice anymore. There was still at least two hours before she needed to be at the airport so she picked up her courage and walked out of her hotel room.

Alison stood in front of Harry's door and tried to listen what was going on inside. She could hear his muffled voice so he was obviously on the phone. After five minutes of waiting she heard him saying good bye so she knew this was her chance. She knocked on the door and waited.

A really tired looking Harry came to her view. He had no shirt on and the belt buckle of his jeans was open. He sighed when he locked eyes with her and rubbed a hand over his face.

"What do you want? Last time I cheched you were still toying with Josh," he hissed and Alison needed all her self control not to snap something back at him. But she didn't want to start a fight now.

"I'm working on it," she said instead and lowered her gaze on the ground.

"And what does that mean? Did you make it clear to him that you two are not gonna be anything but friends or did you jump in the sheets with him?" he asked. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"Look. I didn't come here to talk about Josh. I came here to talk about us," she told him. He stared at her for a while with an unreadable expression, making her more and more nervous, before he started shaking his head.

"I think you've made it quite clear that there's no us anymore so I guess there isn't anything to talk about also," he said calmly and was about to close the door but Alison stepped inside.

"But I need to talk about something with you," she said firmly, taking hold of the door handle where Harry's hand was still placed. They were now staring at each other chest to chest and their hands were touching. She usually liked to wear heels but now when she didn't have any shoes on their height difference was obvious, he looking down at her and her chin raised up.

Finally Harry made a move and stepped backwards, giving Alison some space. She closed the door behind her and looked around. Harry's bag was on the floor and there was some clothes and stuff in his bed so he was still packing. She could feel his eyes on her while she looked at his rings on the bed side table and the really familiar necklace. She hadn't realized he was still wearing it. With each passing second she felt her courage running our of her. The ball was on her now and Harry was just waiting for her to talk. But the thought about telling him what had happened after the miscarriage and after she had cut him out of her life completely felt somewhat ridiculous suddenly.

"God, this is stupid," Alison jumped when she heard Harry talking first. She shifted her attention of the necklace and turned to look at Harry who was looking at her desperately. The pained look on his face made Alison a little scared but she still didn't open her mouth.

"Why are we like this? We're just fighting and then we're all over each other and then just fighting again. Alison I don't want it to be like this. Do you hate me?" the way he said her name made shivers run down her spine. It sounded strange but somehow it was still so familiar.

"No," she answered. After all the one thing she knew was that she didn't hate Harry. She couldn't even though she had tried so hard during this tour. She didn't know what she felt but it wasn't hate.

"What do you want me to do? Just tell me. I'm sick of this back and forth but it seems like we can't stay out of each other's ways. Besides doing that, I think, is just trying to avoid the fact that there's still some unfinished things between us," he explained gently.

"I-I don't know... And I think you're right about that. It's not healthy to fight all the time," she said. She started to feel really self conscious about herself as he was staring at her so intently. He still had that effect on her. She shifted her eyes on the floor and moved her hair on her other shoulder awkwardly before he spoke.

"Let's just forget about others for a while?" The tone of his voice was questioning which made her wondering what he was thinking about. He took a step closer to her like if he was trying to get closer to a wild deer. He gently took her hair out of her face and she let him. She raised her chin to look at him but he was staring at her lips while tracing her cheek with his fingers lightly. She held her breath while examining his face, trying to figure out what he was up to.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered like if he even didn't want her to hear him. She should've known this was coming. Her mind was yelling no but instead of speaking she nodded her head and closed her eyes.

He cupped her cheeks and leaned his forehead against hers before lightly touching her lips with his chopped ones. "I missed you," he whispered against her lips and she had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat.

He probably sensed her hesitance as he stopped for a while to play with a strand of hair. She found herself thinking about what would people say if they'd get back together. Brianna would call her weak for going back to him and her mother wouldn't like the thought either. The thoughts in her head were telling her to stop right now but her actions were working differently. Her hands went to his neck and she looked straight into his eyes. He seemed to know what she was thinking when he started to guide her closer to the bed. When the back of her knees touched the bed frame he let go of her for a second to throw his stuff out of the bed and on the floor before looking at her again.

This time it was different. His hands were softer on her skin as he laid her down on the hotel bed. Their bodies as close to each other as it was possible. His lips didn't feel so anxious as usual as he kissed her. He took his time. First he pecked the corner of her mouth looking deep into her eyes and brushing his nose against hers. Then he kissed a little deeper wiping her upper lip with his tongue. Even though his lips were a little chopped it still felt so good and familiar to her.

"Harry," she sighed when he moved his mouth to her neck and sucked under her ear. "We really shouldn't-" she tried to say but his movements felt too good. She pushed her fingers to the curls in his neck just so she would really realize it was him.

"Just relax babe and let me make you feel good," he mumbled against her skin. That was the moment when she decided not to care about everyone else anymore and just let go.

His lips hovered over her neck and the hot breath was making her skin shiver. He moved his lips back to her and kissed her gently and she finally had the courage to actually touch him. She ran her fingers down his chest and traced the swallows with her finger tips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered out of the blue against his lips but she needed to say it.

"No need to say that. I haven't been nice to you lately so I think we're even," he told her. But she knew better. She was saying sorry for something he didn't even know about. But she pushed the thought out of her head the moment he kissed the soft spot on her neck. All she could think about were the things Harry was capable of doing.

His hands went under Alison's shirt, tickling her sides. His open lips found hers again and he explored the insides of her mouth with his tongue. He knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her and in that state of mind he wasn't even sure anymore if he'd be able to stop.

Alison felt like she was all under Harry's control. She'd do anything what he'd make her do and she wouldn't mind at all. Her hands started to tremble when she touched the skin of his bare back. He held himself up a little with his elbow while his other hand was roaming under her shirt. She knew he wouldn't touch her without her permission so she nodded her head at him again. His hand cupped her breast immediately and she let out a little laugh at how desperate he was. She thought about teasing him a bit as she put her hands on his hips and pulled him closer making him gasp for air.

Harry took her shirt off so quickly that she didn't even realize it before he was sucking down her collarbones to her breasts. Her back arched when he pulled her bra down to get better access. His breath hardened her nipples and he breathed out a fuck before coming back to her lips again. His hips started to move in their own accord and it was her time to swore because it felt so good.

When his kisses started to get sloppier she quickly flipped them over so she was now on top of him. His eyes scanned her body hungrily as she unclasped her bra and threw it on the floor. She kissed both of his swallows on his chest before tracing her lips to his butterfly tattoo, making his breathing pick up. She kissed his stomach and then just under his navel while she opened the belt buckle he had fastened just moments ago when she had walked into the room. She couldn't help but look into his face to see his reaction when she opened the button of his jeans and then the zipper. The look on his face was almost painfully desperate, begging for her to go faster. But she kept her slow pace.

When she got his jeans out of the way and he had kicked them off, she kissed her way back to his lips. Without a warning she cupped the obvious bulge in his boxers making him jolt.

"God you're such a tease," he said while turning them over so he was back on top of her. Even though he was already almost loosing it he still treated her like if she was a porcelain doll. Earlier on the tour he had been almost rough with her and it made her think about what had changed suddenly.

He kept himself up with his elbows while kissing her lips tenderly. Her jeans joined their other clothes on the floor before she even knew it and now they both were just in their pants.

"Are you sure?" his voice sounded raspy of how turned on he was and there was no way she wouldn't be sure about this anymore. So she told him she was sure and he nodded before quickly getting out of the bed. She propped to her elbows to look at Harry who ran in the bathroom. She heard him ruffling things before he came back with a condom in his hand.

He handed the bag to her before quickly getting out of his boxers and jumping back on the bed. She couldn't believe they were here again but she knew this time there wouldn't be any consequences even without the condom so she didn't really care. She pushed all the bad thoughts in the back of her head and instead kissed him to reassure this was okay. While trying to tell herself that it was what she needed. Harry was what she needed.

She kicked her knickers down her legs before opening the little package. She tried to focus so her hands wouldn't shake when she placed the condom on him. He was already leaking so it was easy for her to slide it on while he placed sloppy kisses on her neck.

"I'm not gonna last long," he panted while trying to gain some control back. He pushed her legs more apart and she obliged. All she could think about was how much she wanted him.

"Okay?" Harry asked while cupping her cheeks in his hands so he could look into her eyes. Alison just nodded at first but he didn't move until she whispered a yeah.

He pushed inside of her slowly, her name coming out of his lips as a moan.

"Does it feel okay?" he asked after he was fully inside of her. She nodded firmly even though the stretch was hurting her a little but she was just so mesmerized by his face. When he was sure she was okay his eyes closed shut and his mouth hang open. She thought she might start crying soon just because of the way he looked like so she tried to bit her lower lip but her eyes were still focused on him. He was moving in and out of her and everytime he pushed back in he'd groan her name and his eyes would roll back.

Alison felt herself getting closer when he started to speed up the rhythm. His cheeks were flushed and he was clutching the blanket with his other hand while the other was keeping a tight hold of her hip.

"I'm sorry I-" he started to say but a groan escaped from his lips. His movements got sloppier and his jaw hang open again. Alison thought she hadn't seen anything so beautiful before as she was looking at his eyelashes that were resting on his cheeks and his lips when he whispered her name again and again. She couldn't held the tears anymore as they started to stream down her cheeks when her orgasm took over her body.

He pushed inside of her one more time before collapsing on top of her and resting his head on her chest. She tried to stop the tears before he would see but a muffled sob escaped her lips. He turned to look at her with a frown immediately and after seeing her face his expression changed into panic.

"Alison is everything alright? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry," he quickly pulled out of her and threw the condom in the bin before coming next to her and placing a hand over her stomach. She hid her face under her hands and took a few deep breaths.

"No! You didn't do anything wrong. It's just me," she said while wiping her face with the blanket.

"Do you think this was a mistake?" he asked with a frightened voice.

"No! I just... I just had a lot of emotions I'm okay I promise," she said, managing to give him a little smile while moving further away from him. He looked at her with his tired eyes for a while, making sure she was okay, before sighing and turning to his back. She heard his breathing starting to even out while she kept her eyes on the ceiling trying get her head around what had just happened.

She turned her eyes to look at the man resting next to her, his eyes were closed and he looked completely knackered. Her eyes raced over his naked body once before she gathered the strength to sat up.

Just when she was about to put her legs on the floor and stand up she felt his hand taking a grip of her.

"Please stay," his voice sounded soft yet stern so she turned her head, surprised. The look on his face was pleading and a little unsure. Without a word she held the blanket up so they could both get under it. Her back faced his front and he placed his hand around her like so many times before.

Notes