Clarity

My weekend honestly had been screwed over.
It started off okay, minus the small argument with Harry, but after awhile it just went down hill. When I had arrived home Friday night I had recluently taken Harry's advice and soaked my bum for an hour in the bath then ordered take out from the chinese place down the road to eat while doing yesterdays and todays homework.
Saturday had been a bit more complex. Mine and Carson's football team had their first game that day and the other team squashed us, on top of Lily spraining her ankle. Then Scruff had chewed up the side of the couch which resulted in him being banished to laundry room for the rest of the day, before I dropped and broke five plates when doing the dishwasher. So I suppose you could call that stressful Saturday?
Sadley my Sunday hadn't been much better. I was going to go to church with Shailene that day but my car broke down in the middle of the road and we went into a tailspin when struck by a speeding sports car. Luckily we weren't injured nor was the car damaged beyond quick repair but it still sucked. So the rest of my Sunday was spent with Carson fixing the car while Shailene took Scruff to the park for his traditional Sunday play day that usually consisted of all three of us going, but karma obviously was on her period.
Now on this cool Monday afternoon I was scarmbling out of Carson's car while trying to stuff my folder back into my bag for I had been going through it to make sure I had everything I needed. "C'mon Tomlinson! We've got five minutes, and you know Mr. Styles gets." Carson warned as he locked the car doors and I felt my stomach twist at the thought of seeing the lad I despised quite a bit at the moment.
"I almost want to skip." I comment as I licked my lips and pulled the back pack straps over my shoulders as Carson held open the door for me with a sympathetic smile. "Still stressed?" He asked and I shrugged in response which made him roll his eyes because he hated it when I didn't use my words.
"I'm gonna take your shrug as a yes." He states while we both begin the walk down the crowded hallway. "You can take it anyway you please." I inform as I smiled at a few familiar face then looked back straight ahead. "Alright then." I then felt his arm around my shoulders and a smile appeared on my face,
"Maybe some teacher torture will cheer you up?" He suggested and I blew out a deep breath."Or get me murdered tragically." I joke causing Carson to laugh as we turned the bend. Yes it was a joke in common sense yet I couldn't help but feel I was half right. Harry definately had alot of mood swings, one minute he was the happy peppy teacher, then the next he was the convict with a bad temper.
It was exhausting quite honestly, but fun at the same time. Deep down inside I knew it probably would've been a good idea to just lay off on him at this point, but I couldn't fight the temptation. Even now with all the current events I still wanted to get him angry. In way it was just because he had taken advantage of me when I was drunk then humiliated me in class before actually having the nerve to yell at me and laugh when I protested against all of it.
As these thoughts circulated I felt my fist clench at my side then unclench while Carson squeezed my tensed shoulder affectionately. "We can skip if you want?" My friend then suggested but I shook my head. "No I don't see the point in it. I'm paying alot for these classes anyways." I remind pressing my lips into a thin line.
"Okay." He replied quietly in defeat almost as if he was disappionted I had turned down his offer. Me and Carson had ditched before in our earlier school years but never got caught. Yet even with that being said I still didn't want to because as I stated we were (well at least I was) paying a huge amount for these classes.
"Are we going to start a new unit today?" Carson then asks as we stop outside of the classroom door and he moves away his arm so he could stand in front of me while I shoved my hands into my pockets.
"I don't know."
"Of course you don't."
"Shut up."
We then both smirked at each other before laughing.
"C'mon lets go get this day over with."
"Sounds like a plan."
The classroom door then opened, nearly hitting Carson, and Harry popped his head out. "I thought I heard you two." He says and I narrow my eyes at him as he looks at Carson then gives him a funny look. "Why is that such a shocker?" My now annoyed mate says as I snicker, "I thought you wore hearing aids." Harry then glared at me as he opened his mouth to obviously say harsh words but then closed it.
"I advise you both to get into class because I'm starting in two miutes with or with out you." He warns then steps back still holding the door open so we could walk in. "I think he thinks I'm a lady." Carson whispers in my ear as I laugh and he walks ahead of me into the classroom.
"Mr. Tomlinson," Harry then said as I started to walk in but he placed out an arm to stop me as he leaned in and hissed in my ear with a hot breath, "I don't appreciated your sense of humor Louis." I shivered as chills passed down my spine and I muttered, "I wonder why." He then gorwled something under his breath as he moved away from me and pulled his arm back so I could walk into the classroom.
"Did he threaten you?" Carson asks the moment I sit down and dump my bag at my side. "Nope he's just being an arse." I mutter as Mr. Styles took the front of the classroom and cleared his throat. "Okay everyone look over here." He calls as the loud classroom became quiet and Carson whistled.
"That should've been a record." He hoots and I whack him to be quiet because it wasn't time to torment Harry yet, he had to think we weren't interested in being annoying. A pair of cool green eyes drifted over us but no words were said as Harry turned back to the class and licked his lips,
"I have two announcements. The first one is I've post phoned your China test until tomorrow due to technical difficulties. Then my second one is that this next unit we will be learning about Romeo and Juliet."
Everyone exchanges confused glances as Marcus raises a hand, "I thought this was history class?" He protests while my mind recovered faint memories of learning about the tragic romance back in my earlier years. I had always found it weird that Shakespere never aloud a girl to play the part of Juliet, it was always a man.
"It is Mr. Adams, but I've decided to throw it in along with our Shakespere unit. Don't worry I won't bore you all to death, this will be a unit that stretches about a month tops. Maybe a month and half." He promises as his gaze drifts over the classroom once more then lands on me, "Mr. Tomlinson you seem to be deep in thought, perhaps you can tell us about Romeo and Juliet in a short summary?" He asks and I swallow.
I should've seen that one coming.
"Well...um.." I stammered as he crossed his arms and bite the inside of his cheek, "Well?" I then cleared my throat as I leaned back in my chair,
"It was one of the greatest most tragic fictional love stories ever written by the hand of William Shakespere. of course though men played the part of both Romeo and Juliet so it was sort of a gay romantic tragety. A bond between two passionate souls."
I respond surprising myself that I had actually spoken the intelligent part of my mind, and the entire body of the classroom shifted in their seats to look back at me in shock. "What?" I protested as I crossed my arms and Harry looked at me for a long moment before a smile crept onto his face.
"That was one of the most perfect descriptions I've ever heard." He compliments and I offered a small smile.
Of course he would've liked it, he was bisexual for crying out loud.
I honestly didn't see what was so great about my response, it was just me putting the story into a short summary with my own words and opinion. "Thank you?" I then reply slowly as the classroom remained silent with keen eyes trained on me. "It was a compliment Louis." He confirms as Carson cocks an eyebrow at me then Harry pulls out a box from under his desk and places it ontop of it.
"Here we have a box." He starts then is cut off by me blurting out, "No! Really? I thought it was a triangle." Half my peers then burst out laughing as Harry pursed his lips, "Your obviously not good at geometry Mr. Tomlinson." He counters in one of his 'don't you dare screw with me' tones, and a few people glanced back at me for my reaction and I just shrugged.
"Anyways as I was saying here we have a box, and in this box we have exactly one hundred and fifty copies of a play wright version of Romeo and Juliet. I will be giving you each one copy and you will be required to read before times end, understood?" He asked and everyone nodded or responded with muffled 'yes sir's' as he offered one of those deep dimpled cheeky smiles and begin to pass out the books as I turned to Carson.
"He can't be serious?" I stated and he shrugged we both gave Harry an innocent smile as he placed our books down on our desks with a wary stare. "This looks like something the cavemen dug up." He insults as he holds up one of the worn books and shakes it out,
"Those are called Archaeologists half wit." I say as I pick up my book as well and open to the first page. "Do you think he'd get mad if I drew a stick man in here to make it more up to date?" I ask and Carson smirks before we both lean down to grab pens out of our bags then I start to draw a stick man family on the first page of my book which was conviently blank and Carson begin to write down profanities in graffiti form.
"I'm gonna give you a skateboard." I mumble to the bigger stick man as I drew a skateboard beneath him and bit my tongue in concentration so I could give it the proper detail. "I'm gonna make you big, but not as big as me." Carson whispers and I snort as I glanced over at his page and saw him neatly drawing out 'suck it' in large pop up format.
"....so you may begin now!"
I then hear Harry's voice boom as me and Carson both instinctively looked up and tossed the pens into our laps to hide them. Harry had sat back at his desk now as he was hunched over the computer as his right hand shuffled through one of his tops draws. Everyone else was bent over their books now reading quietly while some pop in their earbuds to block out the occasional noises of someone talking, sneezing, or breathing deeply.
I winked at Carson as I made to good sign at him and we both switched books so he could add onto my drawing and I could add onto his, which wasn't technially a drawing yet I couldn't complain because mine was no Da Vinci either. "I made them more gender specific." My friend muttered as he drew a line on one of my stick man and I bite both my lips to contain an out burst of laughter.
"Your a genius." I respond softly and we both snicker while I dared to glance at Mr. Styles then noticed he was now sucking on a lollipop which made my breath hitch. "Something wrong?" Carson asks and I shake my head as I proceed to draw fireworks around his well illustrated graffiti words.
"Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Dale is there something on your desk that requires the use of your pens?" Harry then called out and Carson instantly slammed his book shut and tossed the pen over his shoulder which caused it to hit one of the kids behind us. "Nope." He says as I quickly close my book and stash my pen into my bag as Harry bites off his sucker and makes a crunching sound as he chews while getting up and walking across the room, and down to us.
"What were you writing on?" He questions and me and Carson share nervous glances. I usually never caught causing destruction to school property but now I was actually a little scared. "Do you really want us to answer that?" Carson sasses as Harry grabs my book off my desk then opens it to the page of the writing and studies it for a moment before looking up at me,
"Mr. Tomlinson your staying after class." He states in a tight tone as I throw my hands up in the air in protest, "I didn't do it!" I say as I Carson opens his mouth to say something but Harry glares at him and presses his thumb and index finger together to signal silence so my friend remains so. "Then what were you drawing on Louis?" He says slowly as if I were dumb and I inhaled deeply, "I was drawing on that but me and Car-" He then slammed a hand down on my desk causing me and half our classmates to jump,
"I will not hear any excuses!" He snaps and Carson slouches in his seat. "But that's not fair! Carson was drawing in his to!'' I oppose. I wasn't going down alone. "Oh really?" He says as Carson's book is grabbed from him and opened. "Not my best work." My blonde friend jokes and I fight the temptation to whack him upside the head.
"If I could, I would beat you both so bad right now." He mutters just loud enough for my ear to catch and my eyes widden slightly in surprise. Maybe this time we had gone just a little to far. The frustrated curly haired lad then slammed both books shut and handed mine back to me, and Carson's back to him.
"I will expect fourty dollars from each of you tomorrow to pay for not only the book but the damages, and Mr. Tomlinson you are still required to stay after." He then says as I glare at him and cross my arms. "Your a jerk." I then slip feeling a ball of hot anger in my chest as he presse this lips tightly together and looked back at me with a raised eyebrow,
"And your a bad student." He adds emphasize the word 'bad' giving me the hint it had alot more meaning then the other people in this room were interupting. "At least I have self control when anger." I counter as he slowly clenched and unclenched a fist like I did earlier.
"Yet your small display of frustration right now shows you are merely contridicting your statement."
I then leaned foreward in my desk to show I wasn't intimidated even though I was nervous this was going to turn into something bad. " At least I don't threaten my students when they misbehave." I say before smirking and he slammed both his hands on my desk as he shouted, "Don't force me to show you how to be a good student because you won't like it!''
I then sat back in my chair to cause some space between us as Carson gave him a fierce look but made no move to say anything. "Don't worry I won't." I simply respond softly as Harry nods curtly then stands up and straightens his tie as he walked to the front of the class, "Now that, that's all over please return to your books.'' He says exhaling deeply as he sat back down and open his draw before pulling out another lollipop and I forced my shakey gaze away and back to my book.
Carson then nudged my side with his index finger and I glanced over at him as he showed me the back of his hand where he had written 'SORRY' in neat print and I shook my head as I offered him a thumbs up to show it was okay as we both opened our books to the second page that contained the begining of the story.
I was fully concentrated on the first two chapters which were surprisenly short but then I found my eyes consistently drifting over to Harry who was sucking on that lolli in a rated R kind of way. I then shifted in my seat as for the strangest reason I felt my breathing deepen and then slowly pants tighten as an image of him pinning me down and sucking me off filled my head.
"Concentrate." I say softly to myself as I ran a hand through my hair and tugged slightly on it while I begain mentally scalded myself for thinking such out of character things. "Ten more minutes!" Harry then called as I few people looked up, including me, and he smiled as he licked across the lollipop before placing it in his mouth and hallowing his cheeks around it to hold in place as he gripped the stick with his index finger and thumb and used his right hand to type on his computer.
Another image then popped into my head of him pushing me firmly against the desk and gripping my member roughly as he made it into a little treat for himself.
"Stop it Louis." I whispered to myself as a small groan in frustration then left my lips and I shifted again in my seat, before crossing my legs to hide my steadily growing boner. "Five minutes!" Our Professor then called as he stuck the suck into the side of his mouth and I felt my breath hitch. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I was getting turned on by this.
If it was a girl then yes that'd be understandable but a boy? Now there was something definately wrong there. Maybe I just thought it was Harry making me horny because this was one of those random boners? Maybe he was in my bad thoughts so much he was creeping into my sexual ones?
I then sighed softly as I closed the book and rested my forehead on my desk as the curly haired instructor announced, "Alright class dismissed! Everyone may go except Louis. Leave your books in the box on my desk." The whole room then went from sweet silence to an outburst of chatter as bags were pack, and books dropped off while the students filed out eager to get home and end their day.
"And here we are alone again." Harry's voice said smoothly as he waved to last student and the classroom door was shut leaving us in seclusion. "Just make this quick, I have to ride home with Carson." I whined as I sat up straight in my desk and begin to pack my materials. "I noticed your little reaction, " He stated as he finished off the lolli and tossed it into the trash can before adjusted his shirt collar and standing up so he could reorganize the books in the box.
"Little reaction to what?" I asked defensively as I pulled my lip inbetween my teeth. "To me licking up that sucker." He says using a strange use of words as he glanced to the side at me and licked his lips. "Oh you mean my..ermm..boner?" I say as I intertwine my fingers and prop them under my chin as he nodded.
I then remained silent for a long moment as I shifted positions to lean on my elbow and said, "The girl near me had on some killer booty shorts." I lie straight to my teeth and he rolls his eyes as he picks up the box and shoves it under his desk. "Yes and the tooth fairy paid me a visit during my bathroom break earlier today." He says sarcastically as he begin to pack up his papers into the worn leather suitcase I was becoming accostumed to staring at.
"You think I'm bloody lying?" I accuse harshly as I pull out my pen from my bag and begain to fiddle with it so I had something to concentrate on. "No Mr. Tomlinson, I know your bloody lying." He counters just as harshly as he snaps his suitcase shut and feel my nerves kicked it.
This guy.
"Even if I was, what's it to you?" I ask and he does one of his humorous laughs. "You got a boner from me eating a lollipop, it means quite a bit to me actually." He informs as he twists his laptop around to face him and begins to turn it off. "I didn't get a boner from that! It was just a random occurence okay!" I snap as I huff growing angry once more.
"No it wasn't. I'm very observant Mr- Louis. I see things happen before other people realize it, so believe me when I tell you that it was me who turned you on." I then gripped the sides of my desk angrily, "Is this why you asked me stay after class? To lecture me on how I don't know my own body and why it does what is does?" I shout and he shakes his head as he puts his laptop into it's case.
"No, originally I was going to yell at you for destruction of school property but then a much more interested matter came at hand." He informs as he places his laptop case ontop of his suitcase then crosses his arms as he leans back against the desk. "I'm begining to seriously question the possiblity of you not truely knowing your own sexuality." He admits and I swear it took every fiber inside of me to restrain myself from flipping over the desk and screaming,
"I like girls you bloody idiot not some bad tempered teacher who thinks he knows it all!"
as I inhaled deeply then exhaled sharply. "I'm positive that I'm straight Mr. Styles." I say my voice strained as I stand up and loop my bag over my shoulder with a burning chest and twisted stomach. I really needed to go lay down.
"And I'm positive your at least bisexual Louis." He then sighed deeply, "It's nothing to be ashamed of." He adds and I kick my desk hard as I storm across the classroom then past him and over to the door.
"Stop trying to brainwash me into thinking I like my own gender! I don't care if you made me feel good one druken night, because it won't change my mind! Not now, not ever! Didn't your mom teach you anything? Or at least your dad?"
I swear with in that moment I had never seen such a heart wrenching expression that caused immediate guilt to flood through me, which almost made me hug him. Harry's face had twisted as his eyes darkened and he sucked in his lips while looking down at the ground as he inhaled deeply before looking back up at me,
"Yeah that would've been nice." He said softly as he shoved his hands into his pockets and I swallowed thickly, "I'm sorry did I-" I start but he shakes his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Just go Louis, I'm sure Carson's waited long enough." He says as I bit the inside of my cheek then walked hesitently out of the classroom before closing the door behind me as I heard something crash.
The temptation was there to walk back in and see what it was and why the lad's whole demeanor had changed but something held me back, so I stuffed my hands into my jean pockets and walked down the hall while wondering what on earth I had just done.

Notes