Clarity
20.
A/N: ;)
"C'mon Louis I want to show you something." A soft voice called out, one I didn't regonize. It sounded angelic though, a sound that was appealing to the ears.
"Okay, I'm coming." I call after her, my body surrounded by darkness but I wasn't scared. It was calming almost. "Louis c'mon!" She called with a giggle and I laughed as my feet begin to carry me across what seemed to be a floor, yet I couldn't tell for it was in a blanket of black. In a way it felt like I was floating, on a cloud.
"Where are we going?" I ask, mty tone obviously portraying that I was amused and delighted. Excited almost. "You'll see." She replied back, her voice a soft willow whisper yet I had the capability to hear it. "If you say so." Then everything around me lapsed into peaceful silence, my feet continuing to carry me along the invisble floor.
Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch the darkness begin to fade, the way it did when you walked out of a dark room into a lighted one. "Where.." I start but then I stop as I realize that I was in the front door of my apartment.
Why did the voice bring me here? Was there something I had missed in my daze from her melody like tone?
"I don't understand." I breath, taking a causious step inside. "Look around." She disclosed, her voice a bit louder this time. "Alright." I then repeated my action of stepping in carefully as my eyes wondered over ever aspect of my home.
Everything seemed in place, not a thing out of order. "Keep going." She coaxed and I swallowed as I finished a slow sweep around the living room before walking into the kitchen. Everything seemed in place there to. Everything up to the tiniest crumb was in place.
"I don't-' I start but my curious stare falls upon the side of the counter. There was something missing. With squinted eyes, I lowered myself into a squat position and brushed my hand over the empty air before I stood back up aprutly and looked around.
"Where's Scruff?" I ask and she makes no sound to indicate a proper response. "Where's Scruff!" I shouted louder, panicking becoming more prominent now as I lifted my feet and ran into the living room.
"Where is he? Where's my dog?" I demand, tearing open my bedroom door and bathroom door but she gave no reply except a faint,
"He's not here."
"Well obviously!" I shout back, feeling sick to the stomach as I flipped over my couch to look under it but I saw no sign of him. "Where is he?" I infered and she gave me the same response,
"He's not here."
I then at those last words jerked awake from my eerie dream with a loud exhale. Even though I had been calm and relaxed until the end of the dream I felt uneasy and unsettled now.
That dream had really done a number on my already stressed body as I ran my hands down my face and begin to wonder why I'd even have a dream like that? I mean I don't remember watching anything on tv about-
Suddenly my eyes widdened with panick as I swallowed thickly and threw the covers back before scrambling out of bed and running across my room and out into the living room, placing two fingers in my mouth so I could whistle.
"Scruff!" I called the moment I stepped in and I felt a sense of panick begin to settle. What if that dream had been a warning? What if he had gotten out? Or hurt? "Scruff!" I shouted again, my heart starting to race as my feet carried me quickly into the kitchen,
"Scru-" I started but then a sigh of relief passed my lips, when I saw him sitting on the floor with my missing phone charger from a month ago dangling out of his mouth. "Boy." I breath, kneeling down and prying the cord from his mouth as he wagged his tail and gave me an innocent, 'I'm not doing anything bad Louis' look.
"Bad dog." I scold, placing the cord on the counter and giving his snout a gentle tap, proir to me dropping on my knee's and wrapping my arms around him so I could pull his frame into an embrace of relief and he nipped my cheek before licking it then resting his head on my shoulder.
Scruff was like that, he'd nip you and lick you before settling and letting you cuddle him as long as you please. I had been so nervous for those two minutes that something bad had indeed happened and I was to late to stop it.
Though honestly with or with out a dream Scruff always got into trouble. Me and my sisters first learned that out the hard way when he was a puppy.
The first night we had him home, he escaped my room and got into the girls barbie doll house then chewed the dolls to shreds. Lottie hated him for it for a long time but one day that all changed when he trotted over to her and sat in her lap, begging for attention so she softened up.
My sisters all loved Scruff though quite honestly, everytime I went over I brought him along and would take countless video's and pictures of him and the girls with my phone. I guess you could say it was a bit of a hobby?
"Are you excited to go to the park today buddy boy?" I then asked, pulling away as I grabbed his face and rubbed his cheeks before scratching behind his ears and he barked in response. Smart dog. "I knew you were, I knew you were!" I coo, kissing his nose before scrambling up onto my feet so I could open the island and grab his bag of dog kibble and pour it into his bowl.
By now my nerves from the unsettling dream had lifted, and it was practically absent in my mind as I poured myself a bowl of cereal then sat on the floor next to Scruff so we could eat together. Only I ate like a human, and he ate like a starved dog.
Always had such a big appetite he did.
Finally once we both had finished our breakfest, him digging into mine before I got a chance to finish it, I jumped up and tossed my stuff into the sink, anterior to walking into my bedroom and exchanging my t-shirt and pajama pants for a t-shirt, red hoodie, jeans, and converes.
After I had gotten dressed, and tied my hoodie strings into a neat little bow like always, unlike my shoes, I grabbed Scruff's leash and whistled. "C'mon boy! Carson told me he had to meet us early because he was behind on homework." I inform, even though my dog probably was paying no attention to anything but the leash which I clipped on quickly.
]Carson was the type of guy where you had to leave half an hour before the meeting time to make sure you made it on time because he hated waiting. Though I had been given the exception many times.
"You've got mail Mr. Tomlinson!" Debby calls out at the moment me and Scruff walk off the elevator and I nod. "I'll grab on my way back up." I notify and am returned with a slight not as she answered her phone.
"Good thing I wore a hoodie, it's awfully windy out today! Looks like we'll be getting that cold front anytime soon." I comment, the wind wiping around my hair into a messy bunch while me and Scruff dig a quick jog over to my car, and I quickly unlocked the car door before opening it.
"Load." I ordered and my dog scrmabled into the backseat before laying down on it and I scratched his back preliminary to getting into my own seat and peeling out.
Because it was so early in the day, and most people were in church or sleep, the roads were nearly empty minus a few small cars here and then.
On my I made only one stop to pick up two breakfest taco's from a nearby gas station, one for me one for Scruff. He was overally fond of the bacon and egg. "Got you a present." I inform, peeling off the foil wrapper and placing it next to him as I unpeeled mine and took a bite myself.
For the rest of the drive the only sound present in the car was me and Scruff chewing and the occasional honk of a horn from an angry driver. Man some people were rough on the roads now adays, rich people.
Well actually Harry wasn't overally selfish on the roads, and he was a billionare. Which reminded me, today I was going to finally talk to someone about what was going on.
I had called Shailene and asked her to come to for I felt this was an importent discussion she shoudn't miss but she was out of town and I wasn't willing to wait until Monday. I couldn't help the twisted knots that appeared in my stomach as I begin to think of a way to address the manner to Carson.
I was scared of how he'd react. Not scared because he was violent but scared because he was my friend I was the type of person where I did prefer approval from at least my friends on matters like this.
By the time I had gotten to the park I was shaking from nerves.
Did other boys get this nervous when they told their best friend about their teacher confessing his love for them? Or was this just karma slapping me in the arse again? Or was it just this situation being so unique it was impossible to compare to other senerios?
"Here goes nothing." I mutter, parking a couple of rows down from Carson's car which was already here and I gulped down the forming lump in my throat. I could back out now, I could make up some stupid excuse, but then where would that get me? I needed someone to confirm it for me.
I needed someone to flat out tell me what I was afraid to think or already thinking.
Maybe Carson wasn't my best choice but after the small tears shed last night I couldn't imagine bottling this up any longer.
"So you just gonna sit there?" My mate's voice then shouted out in a playful manner, causing me to jump as I looked out my window and saw Carson sitting there with his goofy grin and waving. "No you idiot." I respond, a small smile on my face as I swung my door open with out warning, purposly hititng him before getting out.
"Ouch! That really hurt." He whines that little boy from, 'Charlie Bit Me' and I laugh feeling slightly relaxed as I opened the side door and grabbed Scruff's leash before letting him out. "So you wanted to talk to me about something importent?" He asks, the moment I shut and lock the car.
"Um..yeah..but not yet.." I swallowed, "Lets find a good..erm..place to let Scruff loose then we'll t-talk." I tumble out, getting a little choked up from my reoccuring nerves at the end. I literally felt physically ill.
Maybe it was to soon? Then again there was time for everything whether it was to soon or to late, never would something come at the right time. Harry confessing his feelings for me surely didn't.
"Okay, well the feild is crowded with kids and all so we need to go somewhere else." He alerts and I shake my head, pointing to the woods. "Let's let him go in there, I'm up for a good hike anyways." I suggest and Carson nods in agreement as he gestures for me to lead the way and I nod.
For the couple of minutes we were trecking across the park to the entrance of the woods, and then once we were in the quanity of tree's I unclipped Scruff's leash and he barked before running inbetween the tree's.
"So talk now?" Carson asked, obviously growing impatient with suspence. "Yes, but before I tell you this I need you to promise me something." I say, the both of us begining to walk in the same direction of Scruff who was a little ways off.
"Anything." He said sincerely and it made me relax a little. "I need you to promise me," I then had to stop talking for a moment so I could avoid a cluster of rocks, tangling in brush then we continued on the clearer side of the path.
"Promise me that you won't think less of me and to remember this was all basically out of my control."
He curious face suddenly became very stern as he bit his lip and nodded. I think with in that moment Carson knew I was about to tell him something importent, and slightly serious in a way.
Then taking a deep breath I shyly proceeded to tell him the story of everything that had happened between me and Harry starting from the night at the bar. While I jabbered on he remainded quiet. Made no comment. His facial expression netural.
While I told my tale we continued to walk along the open area of the woods, occasionally stopping to throw rocks and sticks for Scruff to chase after and he would often stop for breathers at my side and I'd rest a hand on his head.
"And now I don't know what the heck to do! I mean it's just all so confusing." I finish, taking a deep breath as we stopped near a cluster of tree's.
After that we both were quiet for a long moment, Carson seeming to be deep in thought as he processed it all and then he sighed. "That is one hell of a story, I almost don't believe you but then again I do." He admits with a shrug and I nod, wrapping my arms around myself.
"Want my honest opinion?" He then asked and I nodded once more, allowing my voice to rest a bit for I had been talking up a storm for over fourty minutes.
"I think I shouldn't date him, I mean think about it. For starters the age difference, he's twenty-two and your nineteen, this might be an attempt to get into your pants again. Then there's not to mention the fact your his student, he's his teacher and getting together could arise problems in the classroom, and might I add he has-"
Carson then became deadly quiet as his eyes enlarged and he slapped a hand over my mouth. "Don't move. Don't move." He said so soft I barely could catch it as he moved slightly closer to me, but just barely for he was already close.
At first I nearly pushed him off, but I could tell by his body movements that he wasn't joking. Then my eyes slowly drifted around the area and I felt my heart stop as they landed on a coyote! I wasn't sure how long the thing had been there but he was sitting about a good ten feet from us and staring directly at us with two beady eyes.
Once Carson had noticed I realized the animal he slowly moved his hand away from my face, the both of us staring at the creature with fear and confusion on what to do. I was frozen in place and Carson was chewing his lip rapidly, obviously trying to think of a quick solution as his eyes wondered over the forest floor then he looked over at me.
''Just keep still." He whispered, holding up a flat palm as he slowly begin to lower himself in a squatting position and I noticed the big stick near him. He must've been planning to startle the thing so we could get away.
"Just a little closer." He informed, the coyote watching his every move as it slowly begin to rise and I bit my lip harshly.
The surrounding area was so quiet right now I could hear the distant laughter and chatter from the families in the feild. I felt my body tensing and untensing as I watched the animal afraid it would charge at one of us and attack before we had a chance to protect ourselves.
Then suddenly the empty air burst to life as the sound of growling and barking filled the air and my eyes widdened with horror as I watched the scariest moment of my life unfold. "Scruff no!" Carson shouted reaching out to grab Scruff's collar but missed it by less then an inch as he fell on his side.
"Scruff don't!" I ordered stumbling forward but I missed him as well, my body getting thrown into panick as he charged the coyote who hopped up on all fours and growled.
"Louis get him!" Carson shouted reaching out and grabbing the stick as Scruff got to close, his whole demeanor threatening and the coyote let out a weird noise before pouncing on my beloved pet and with in a moment they both were rolling on the forest floor in a agressive fight.
"Scruff!" I screamed and I ran forward not caring I would probably get injured, my only intent with in that moment to get that animal off my dog.
But then it happened.
Scruff had lost his footing in the fight and crashed down, giving the coyote a perfect chance to go for the throat which he did and in a matter of seconds strangled yelps left Scruff's mouth as he struggled to get up.
"No! Get off my dog! Get off!" I shrieked at the animal, giving him a swift kick in the side, making this the first time I had ever struck an animal and he yelped before releasing Scruff and stumbled whining before looking at me with a growl.
"Louis! Move!" Carson demanded, his tone at a degree of demand I never wanted to hear again. "Now!" He pressed and I dove to the side next to Scruff as the coyote dove forward and Carson ran at it, swinging the stick and gave the animal a strong blow to the head that sent him stumbling but my friend didn't stop after that.
The moment the animal stumbled he hit him again and again and again to the point where he was beating him to death and I had to tear my horrified gaze away as Carson hit him one last time and the coyote took it's last breath.
Then my attention rushed back to Scruff who had his tongue hanging out and was whining as blood begin to sweep through a deep wound on his throat. "Carson he's bleeding, he's bleeding bad." I choke out, a tear falling as I breath deeply, chills rushing through my body.
"We have to get him to the animal hospital! Now." He warns, kneeling down on Scruffs other side. "Give me your hoodie." He says, stretching out a hand and I nodded as I undid the strings and zipper with trembling fingers and peeled it off quickly before handing it to him.
"Shit he's loosing alot of blood, we're going to have to carry him." My friend notify's, tying the jacket around Scruff neck loosely to stop some of the blood flow. "I can't do this, Carson I'm shaking, I'm scared. Carson." I started rambling, feeling my mind go into a frenzy as I looked down at my injured, possibly dying dog.
"Louis it'll be okay." He tried to assure grabbing my shoulders and giving them a slight shake before peeling off his jacket and laying it on the floor. "Help me get him on the jacket, we can use it as a carry on." He says, his face pale and obviously shaken up from the whole experiance as we grabbed Scruff and both picked him up, him supporting most of his lower body and me supporting most of his upper body then we laid him on the jacket.
"I'll get this side with the most weight, you get the other, and support his head!" Carson shouted unessicarly, obviously trying to indirectly get it through my head that we needed to hurry.
But was it already to late?
"O-Okay." I then grabbed my side of the jacket with one hand and held up his head with the other. "We're going to have to walk fast so try not to trip.'' Carson alerts as he begins walking backwards.
I think in all honesty it was a miracle that fast paced walk back that we didn't trip or fall or back into anything, and it was a miracle that Carson had stayed composed.
Everything right now felt like a blur, it had all happened so fast. I could still hear the lingering sounds of Scruff's cries of torturious pain. I could still feel the feeling like I was going to throw up as I still tried not to. I felt so sick right now I could barely breath. My whole body was trembling and my throat felt tight.
"I'm going to bring him to my pick up, he'll be more stablized that way!" He says as after about maybe five minutes we make it out of the woods and begin the mad dash across the feild in persuit of the parking lot.
If my mind hadn't been so preoccupied that moment I would've felt a little embarassed at all the people who were staring at us with alarmed expressions and I think I heard Carson shout something about a coyote attack and to keep out of the woods even though we both knew he had killed the coyote.
"Lift him up, lift him up." He then rushed out as we walked across the parking lot and over to his pick up where we lifted up Scruff and placed him in the back. "I'm going to ride with him." I announce proir to climbing into the back with him and kneeling next to him as I pressed the jacket closer to the wound, blood soaking through as he whined.
Carson didn't make a single sound of protest in his rush to the front seat where he practically tore his door off and was peeling out of the doorway in seconds. "Your going to be okay, it'll be okay." I coaxed Scruff, stroking his head and scratching behind his ears as I felt my heart twist hard and tears begin to flow down my face and off my chin.
This was like a nightmare, every bit of it seemed so unreal and so terrifying I coulnd't process any of it. The only thing I could do was comfort Scruff as I held his body steady so he wouldn't sway around with Carson's vicious turns and swerves.
"Please don't die, please don't die." I begged feeling my body only shake harder at the thought as I looked down at him, his body barely moving now and breaths uneven. This was painful right now, looking at him in such a state.
I had to fight everything in me not to scream as I breathed in and out deeply. The hospital was closer now, I could just see it in the distance. Carson must've been breaking multiple laws that moment as he nearly crashed into several people with his reckless driving and he passed a red light.
We were so close now, so close I could almost hear the animals complaining inside. So close I could almost smell the inside.
Then Carson peeled into the parking lot and parked at the front door before getting out of his car not bothering to turn it off or close the door while he ran to the back and tore the trunk part open. "Slide him over to me!" He says, his words rushed as I nodded and gently pushed Scruff's body over to him and he gathered my pet in his arms.
"C'mon!"
I made no reply, as I jumped out of the back and we both rushed inside, nearly slamming into several people.
"Help! My dog! He got attack by a coyote! He won't stop bleeding!'' I shout and the lady at the front desk immediately shoots to her feet, "Hold on, hold on." She says holding up a finger and picking up a phone, obviously used to this type of situations.
"Doctor Straut we have an injured dog, coyote attack, took a bit to the throat." She tells the man before nodding and putting the phone down as I felt all eyes in the waiting room leer on us. The rest of it seemed to happen in a blur, two vet's assistents rushed out and took Scruff for us and I let my hand linger in his cheek for a moment more as he was pulled away then rushed into one of the rooms.
I then felt my stomach cave in and I rushed to the bathroom quickly, my hand over my mouth as I clambored in and then flipped up the toliet lid before emptying my stomach into the toliet.
"C'mon Louis I want to show you something." A soft voice called out, one I didn't regonize. It sounded angelic though, a sound that was appealing to the ears.
"Okay, I'm coming." I call after her, my body surrounded by darkness but I wasn't scared. It was calming almost. "Louis c'mon!" She called with a giggle and I laughed as my feet begin to carry me across what seemed to be a floor, yet I couldn't tell for it was in a blanket of black. In a way it felt like I was floating, on a cloud.
"Where are we going?" I ask, mty tone obviously portraying that I was amused and delighted. Excited almost. "You'll see." She replied back, her voice a soft willow whisper yet I had the capability to hear it. "If you say so." Then everything around me lapsed into peaceful silence, my feet continuing to carry me along the invisble floor.
Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch the darkness begin to fade, the way it did when you walked out of a dark room into a lighted one. "Where.." I start but then I stop as I realize that I was in the front door of my apartment.
Why did the voice bring me here? Was there something I had missed in my daze from her melody like tone?
"I don't understand." I breath, taking a causious step inside. "Look around." She disclosed, her voice a bit louder this time. "Alright." I then repeated my action of stepping in carefully as my eyes wondered over ever aspect of my home.
Everything seemed in place, not a thing out of order. "Keep going." She coaxed and I swallowed as I finished a slow sweep around the living room before walking into the kitchen. Everything seemed in place there to. Everything up to the tiniest crumb was in place.
"I don't-' I start but my curious stare falls upon the side of the counter. There was something missing. With squinted eyes, I lowered myself into a squat position and brushed my hand over the empty air before I stood back up aprutly and looked around.
"Where's Scruff?" I ask and she makes no sound to indicate a proper response. "Where's Scruff!" I shouted louder, panicking becoming more prominent now as I lifted my feet and ran into the living room.
"Where is he? Where's my dog?" I demand, tearing open my bedroom door and bathroom door but she gave no reply except a faint,
"He's not here."
"Well obviously!" I shout back, feeling sick to the stomach as I flipped over my couch to look under it but I saw no sign of him. "Where is he?" I infered and she gave me the same response,
"He's not here."
I then at those last words jerked awake from my eerie dream with a loud exhale. Even though I had been calm and relaxed until the end of the dream I felt uneasy and unsettled now.
That dream had really done a number on my already stressed body as I ran my hands down my face and begin to wonder why I'd even have a dream like that? I mean I don't remember watching anything on tv about-
Suddenly my eyes widdened with panick as I swallowed thickly and threw the covers back before scrambling out of bed and running across my room and out into the living room, placing two fingers in my mouth so I could whistle.
"Scruff!" I called the moment I stepped in and I felt a sense of panick begin to settle. What if that dream had been a warning? What if he had gotten out? Or hurt? "Scruff!" I shouted again, my heart starting to race as my feet carried me quickly into the kitchen,
"Scru-" I started but then a sigh of relief passed my lips, when I saw him sitting on the floor with my missing phone charger from a month ago dangling out of his mouth. "Boy." I breath, kneeling down and prying the cord from his mouth as he wagged his tail and gave me an innocent, 'I'm not doing anything bad Louis' look.
"Bad dog." I scold, placing the cord on the counter and giving his snout a gentle tap, proir to me dropping on my knee's and wrapping my arms around him so I could pull his frame into an embrace of relief and he nipped my cheek before licking it then resting his head on my shoulder.
Scruff was like that, he'd nip you and lick you before settling and letting you cuddle him as long as you please. I had been so nervous for those two minutes that something bad had indeed happened and I was to late to stop it.
Though honestly with or with out a dream Scruff always got into trouble. Me and my sisters first learned that out the hard way when he was a puppy.
The first night we had him home, he escaped my room and got into the girls barbie doll house then chewed the dolls to shreds. Lottie hated him for it for a long time but one day that all changed when he trotted over to her and sat in her lap, begging for attention so she softened up.
My sisters all loved Scruff though quite honestly, everytime I went over I brought him along and would take countless video's and pictures of him and the girls with my phone. I guess you could say it was a bit of a hobby?
"Are you excited to go to the park today buddy boy?" I then asked, pulling away as I grabbed his face and rubbed his cheeks before scratching behind his ears and he barked in response. Smart dog. "I knew you were, I knew you were!" I coo, kissing his nose before scrambling up onto my feet so I could open the island and grab his bag of dog kibble and pour it into his bowl.
By now my nerves from the unsettling dream had lifted, and it was practically absent in my mind as I poured myself a bowl of cereal then sat on the floor next to Scruff so we could eat together. Only I ate like a human, and he ate like a starved dog.
Always had such a big appetite he did.
Finally once we both had finished our breakfest, him digging into mine before I got a chance to finish it, I jumped up and tossed my stuff into the sink, anterior to walking into my bedroom and exchanging my t-shirt and pajama pants for a t-shirt, red hoodie, jeans, and converes.
After I had gotten dressed, and tied my hoodie strings into a neat little bow like always, unlike my shoes, I grabbed Scruff's leash and whistled. "C'mon boy! Carson told me he had to meet us early because he was behind on homework." I inform, even though my dog probably was paying no attention to anything but the leash which I clipped on quickly.
]Carson was the type of guy where you had to leave half an hour before the meeting time to make sure you made it on time because he hated waiting. Though I had been given the exception many times.
"You've got mail Mr. Tomlinson!" Debby calls out at the moment me and Scruff walk off the elevator and I nod. "I'll grab on my way back up." I notify and am returned with a slight not as she answered her phone.
"Good thing I wore a hoodie, it's awfully windy out today! Looks like we'll be getting that cold front anytime soon." I comment, the wind wiping around my hair into a messy bunch while me and Scruff dig a quick jog over to my car, and I quickly unlocked the car door before opening it.
"Load." I ordered and my dog scrmabled into the backseat before laying down on it and I scratched his back preliminary to getting into my own seat and peeling out.
Because it was so early in the day, and most people were in church or sleep, the roads were nearly empty minus a few small cars here and then.
On my I made only one stop to pick up two breakfest taco's from a nearby gas station, one for me one for Scruff. He was overally fond of the bacon and egg. "Got you a present." I inform, peeling off the foil wrapper and placing it next to him as I unpeeled mine and took a bite myself.
For the rest of the drive the only sound present in the car was me and Scruff chewing and the occasional honk of a horn from an angry driver. Man some people were rough on the roads now adays, rich people.
Well actually Harry wasn't overally selfish on the roads, and he was a billionare. Which reminded me, today I was going to finally talk to someone about what was going on.
I had called Shailene and asked her to come to for I felt this was an importent discussion she shoudn't miss but she was out of town and I wasn't willing to wait until Monday. I couldn't help the twisted knots that appeared in my stomach as I begin to think of a way to address the manner to Carson.
I was scared of how he'd react. Not scared because he was violent but scared because he was my friend I was the type of person where I did prefer approval from at least my friends on matters like this.
By the time I had gotten to the park I was shaking from nerves.
Did other boys get this nervous when they told their best friend about their teacher confessing his love for them? Or was this just karma slapping me in the arse again? Or was it just this situation being so unique it was impossible to compare to other senerios?
"Here goes nothing." I mutter, parking a couple of rows down from Carson's car which was already here and I gulped down the forming lump in my throat. I could back out now, I could make up some stupid excuse, but then where would that get me? I needed someone to confirm it for me.
I needed someone to flat out tell me what I was afraid to think or already thinking.
Maybe Carson wasn't my best choice but after the small tears shed last night I couldn't imagine bottling this up any longer.
"So you just gonna sit there?" My mate's voice then shouted out in a playful manner, causing me to jump as I looked out my window and saw Carson sitting there with his goofy grin and waving. "No you idiot." I respond, a small smile on my face as I swung my door open with out warning, purposly hititng him before getting out.
"Ouch! That really hurt." He whines that little boy from, 'Charlie Bit Me' and I laugh feeling slightly relaxed as I opened the side door and grabbed Scruff's leash before letting him out. "So you wanted to talk to me about something importent?" He asks, the moment I shut and lock the car.
"Um..yeah..but not yet.." I swallowed, "Lets find a good..erm..place to let Scruff loose then we'll t-talk." I tumble out, getting a little choked up from my reoccuring nerves at the end. I literally felt physically ill.
Maybe it was to soon? Then again there was time for everything whether it was to soon or to late, never would something come at the right time. Harry confessing his feelings for me surely didn't.
"Okay, well the feild is crowded with kids and all so we need to go somewhere else." He alerts and I shake my head, pointing to the woods. "Let's let him go in there, I'm up for a good hike anyways." I suggest and Carson nods in agreement as he gestures for me to lead the way and I nod.
For the couple of minutes we were trecking across the park to the entrance of the woods, and then once we were in the quanity of tree's I unclipped Scruff's leash and he barked before running inbetween the tree's.
"So talk now?" Carson asked, obviously growing impatient with suspence. "Yes, but before I tell you this I need you to promise me something." I say, the both of us begining to walk in the same direction of Scruff who was a little ways off.
"Anything." He said sincerely and it made me relax a little. "I need you to promise me," I then had to stop talking for a moment so I could avoid a cluster of rocks, tangling in brush then we continued on the clearer side of the path.
"Promise me that you won't think less of me and to remember this was all basically out of my control."
He curious face suddenly became very stern as he bit his lip and nodded. I think with in that moment Carson knew I was about to tell him something importent, and slightly serious in a way.
Then taking a deep breath I shyly proceeded to tell him the story of everything that had happened between me and Harry starting from the night at the bar. While I jabbered on he remainded quiet. Made no comment. His facial expression netural.
While I told my tale we continued to walk along the open area of the woods, occasionally stopping to throw rocks and sticks for Scruff to chase after and he would often stop for breathers at my side and I'd rest a hand on his head.
"And now I don't know what the heck to do! I mean it's just all so confusing." I finish, taking a deep breath as we stopped near a cluster of tree's.
After that we both were quiet for a long moment, Carson seeming to be deep in thought as he processed it all and then he sighed. "That is one hell of a story, I almost don't believe you but then again I do." He admits with a shrug and I nod, wrapping my arms around myself.
"Want my honest opinion?" He then asked and I nodded once more, allowing my voice to rest a bit for I had been talking up a storm for over fourty minutes.
"I think I shouldn't date him, I mean think about it. For starters the age difference, he's twenty-two and your nineteen, this might be an attempt to get into your pants again. Then there's not to mention the fact your his student, he's his teacher and getting together could arise problems in the classroom, and might I add he has-"
Carson then became deadly quiet as his eyes enlarged and he slapped a hand over my mouth. "Don't move. Don't move." He said so soft I barely could catch it as he moved slightly closer to me, but just barely for he was already close.
At first I nearly pushed him off, but I could tell by his body movements that he wasn't joking. Then my eyes slowly drifted around the area and I felt my heart stop as they landed on a coyote! I wasn't sure how long the thing had been there but he was sitting about a good ten feet from us and staring directly at us with two beady eyes.
Once Carson had noticed I realized the animal he slowly moved his hand away from my face, the both of us staring at the creature with fear and confusion on what to do. I was frozen in place and Carson was chewing his lip rapidly, obviously trying to think of a quick solution as his eyes wondered over the forest floor then he looked over at me.
''Just keep still." He whispered, holding up a flat palm as he slowly begin to lower himself in a squatting position and I noticed the big stick near him. He must've been planning to startle the thing so we could get away.
"Just a little closer." He informed, the coyote watching his every move as it slowly begin to rise and I bit my lip harshly.
The surrounding area was so quiet right now I could hear the distant laughter and chatter from the families in the feild. I felt my body tensing and untensing as I watched the animal afraid it would charge at one of us and attack before we had a chance to protect ourselves.
Then suddenly the empty air burst to life as the sound of growling and barking filled the air and my eyes widdened with horror as I watched the scariest moment of my life unfold. "Scruff no!" Carson shouted reaching out to grab Scruff's collar but missed it by less then an inch as he fell on his side.
"Scruff don't!" I ordered stumbling forward but I missed him as well, my body getting thrown into panick as he charged the coyote who hopped up on all fours and growled.
"Louis get him!" Carson shouted reaching out and grabbing the stick as Scruff got to close, his whole demeanor threatening and the coyote let out a weird noise before pouncing on my beloved pet and with in a moment they both were rolling on the forest floor in a agressive fight.
"Scruff!" I screamed and I ran forward not caring I would probably get injured, my only intent with in that moment to get that animal off my dog.
But then it happened.
Scruff had lost his footing in the fight and crashed down, giving the coyote a perfect chance to go for the throat which he did and in a matter of seconds strangled yelps left Scruff's mouth as he struggled to get up.
"No! Get off my dog! Get off!" I shrieked at the animal, giving him a swift kick in the side, making this the first time I had ever struck an animal and he yelped before releasing Scruff and stumbled whining before looking at me with a growl.
"Louis! Move!" Carson demanded, his tone at a degree of demand I never wanted to hear again. "Now!" He pressed and I dove to the side next to Scruff as the coyote dove forward and Carson ran at it, swinging the stick and gave the animal a strong blow to the head that sent him stumbling but my friend didn't stop after that.
The moment the animal stumbled he hit him again and again and again to the point where he was beating him to death and I had to tear my horrified gaze away as Carson hit him one last time and the coyote took it's last breath.
Then my attention rushed back to Scruff who had his tongue hanging out and was whining as blood begin to sweep through a deep wound on his throat. "Carson he's bleeding, he's bleeding bad." I choke out, a tear falling as I breath deeply, chills rushing through my body.
"We have to get him to the animal hospital! Now." He warns, kneeling down on Scruffs other side. "Give me your hoodie." He says, stretching out a hand and I nodded as I undid the strings and zipper with trembling fingers and peeled it off quickly before handing it to him.
"Shit he's loosing alot of blood, we're going to have to carry him." My friend notify's, tying the jacket around Scruff neck loosely to stop some of the blood flow. "I can't do this, Carson I'm shaking, I'm scared. Carson." I started rambling, feeling my mind go into a frenzy as I looked down at my injured, possibly dying dog.
"Louis it'll be okay." He tried to assure grabbing my shoulders and giving them a slight shake before peeling off his jacket and laying it on the floor. "Help me get him on the jacket, we can use it as a carry on." He says, his face pale and obviously shaken up from the whole experiance as we grabbed Scruff and both picked him up, him supporting most of his lower body and me supporting most of his upper body then we laid him on the jacket.
"I'll get this side with the most weight, you get the other, and support his head!" Carson shouted unessicarly, obviously trying to indirectly get it through my head that we needed to hurry.
But was it already to late?
"O-Okay." I then grabbed my side of the jacket with one hand and held up his head with the other. "We're going to have to walk fast so try not to trip.'' Carson alerts as he begins walking backwards.
I think in all honesty it was a miracle that fast paced walk back that we didn't trip or fall or back into anything, and it was a miracle that Carson had stayed composed.
Everything right now felt like a blur, it had all happened so fast. I could still hear the lingering sounds of Scruff's cries of torturious pain. I could still feel the feeling like I was going to throw up as I still tried not to. I felt so sick right now I could barely breath. My whole body was trembling and my throat felt tight.
"I'm going to bring him to my pick up, he'll be more stablized that way!" He says as after about maybe five minutes we make it out of the woods and begin the mad dash across the feild in persuit of the parking lot.
If my mind hadn't been so preoccupied that moment I would've felt a little embarassed at all the people who were staring at us with alarmed expressions and I think I heard Carson shout something about a coyote attack and to keep out of the woods even though we both knew he had killed the coyote.
"Lift him up, lift him up." He then rushed out as we walked across the parking lot and over to his pick up where we lifted up Scruff and placed him in the back. "I'm going to ride with him." I announce proir to climbing into the back with him and kneeling next to him as I pressed the jacket closer to the wound, blood soaking through as he whined.
Carson didn't make a single sound of protest in his rush to the front seat where he practically tore his door off and was peeling out of the doorway in seconds. "Your going to be okay, it'll be okay." I coaxed Scruff, stroking his head and scratching behind his ears as I felt my heart twist hard and tears begin to flow down my face and off my chin.
This was like a nightmare, every bit of it seemed so unreal and so terrifying I coulnd't process any of it. The only thing I could do was comfort Scruff as I held his body steady so he wouldn't sway around with Carson's vicious turns and swerves.
"Please don't die, please don't die." I begged feeling my body only shake harder at the thought as I looked down at him, his body barely moving now and breaths uneven. This was painful right now, looking at him in such a state.
I had to fight everything in me not to scream as I breathed in and out deeply. The hospital was closer now, I could just see it in the distance. Carson must've been breaking multiple laws that moment as he nearly crashed into several people with his reckless driving and he passed a red light.
We were so close now, so close I could almost hear the animals complaining inside. So close I could almost smell the inside.
Then Carson peeled into the parking lot and parked at the front door before getting out of his car not bothering to turn it off or close the door while he ran to the back and tore the trunk part open. "Slide him over to me!" He says, his words rushed as I nodded and gently pushed Scruff's body over to him and he gathered my pet in his arms.
"C'mon!"
I made no reply, as I jumped out of the back and we both rushed inside, nearly slamming into several people.
"Help! My dog! He got attack by a coyote! He won't stop bleeding!'' I shout and the lady at the front desk immediately shoots to her feet, "Hold on, hold on." She says holding up a finger and picking up a phone, obviously used to this type of situations.
"Doctor Straut we have an injured dog, coyote attack, took a bit to the throat." She tells the man before nodding and putting the phone down as I felt all eyes in the waiting room leer on us. The rest of it seemed to happen in a blur, two vet's assistents rushed out and took Scruff for us and I let my hand linger in his cheek for a moment more as he was pulled away then rushed into one of the rooms.
I then felt my stomach cave in and I rushed to the bathroom quickly, my hand over my mouth as I clambored in and then flipped up the toliet lid before emptying my stomach into the toliet.
Notes
So yeah lots of drama and OMG PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!Double Update though! <3
~Mazzy
@mandyyloveslouisandharry
@Larreh Stylersun
nvm. i think she's done writting it
11/21/14