Clarity

"Quit touching your hair, it looks fine." Carson assures as we move foreward in the long line of people, all aiming to get into the bar.
"Sorry, I'm just bored." I inform, my words only half true as I bit my lip.
Before we left I had gone through hell trying to get my hair into a quiff, but it had grown out almost an inch since last time making the task nearly impossible. Finally after half an hour of a never ending struggle I gave up and rinsed out the hair gel before drying my hair with a towel.
My hair was definately in a Justin Beiber like style no meaning I had to go get it cut the moment I got the chance.
"This taking forever." Carson groaned and Shailene rolled her eyes as she leaned against me and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Stop being a cry baby with a fish brain Carson, we'll be in soon." She shoots at him and he scoffs but says nothing in return. Shailene had that charm about her.
"This color looks good on you." She then comlimented tugging on the dark red shirt I had chosen for this occasion. "Thanks. I happen to like it myself." I admit and she smiles as I brush off my jeans, which were a bit baggy but suited my toms perfectly.
Actually it was a bit funny that I hated being small yet didn't use any brand of shoe of any kind that gave me a few inches. Instead I picked a brand that barely gave me a quater of an inch.
The rest of the day had seemed to go in a blur. Me and Harry didn't exchange a single word after the ones we shared in the library. By the time everyone had found a book the bell was five minutes away from ringing so there wasn't much of an oppertunity to do anything really except rush back and grab our things.
On the drive home after class and the two hour time period inbetween class and bar night my thoughts once more circulated around a curly haired lad who smelled like an office and pine cone deorderent.
His words had confused me, yet didn't alarm me. They were confusing, yet I didn't ponder on them. My thoughts had been about his comment where he questioned if I was going to the bar or not and looked all giddy when I nodded.
Was it a good idea to go tonight? Was it worth the risk? Would we end up getting drunk again? Would we kiss? Have sex? Fight?
It just seemed like anything was possible involving him. This situation was begining to feel normal, and that bothered me.
Stuff like this shouldn't feel natural, and I shouldn't feel this excited to see my history teacher. Heck I shouldn't even glance his way when out of class, but no karma just had to interfer and screw me over.
Why did Harry like me anyways? And what made him think I was pure and golden? Was he even mentally here the past month?
It all, like I've said before, was annoying.
"Maybe someday I'll start a clothing line!" Shailene's excited voice then broke out and my mind become one with my body again as I focused back on their conversation. "Yeah called Don't Dress That Way." Carson comments, earning a smack upside the head from her and I crossed my arms, watching them with an amused smile.
Shailene and Carson always had a frenemy type relationship, kinda like Oliver and Lily from Hannah Montana only with more insults. When Shailene was first introduced to Carson she wasn't really a big fan but in time warmed up to him and by the end of six months called him her friend.
"Carson Dale? Party of three?" The man at the front then read off his list and once more I was pulled back to reality and saw much to my pleasure that we were now at the front of the line and with in seconds walking into the young adult infested club.
"Oh look! There's Marcus." Carson pointed out the moment Marcus' wondering eyes spotted us and he grinned and waved, gesturing for us to come over.
"I didn't know you came here on bar nights, let alone at all!" Shailene greeted once we had all walked over and were in a messy clump. "I usually do but for the past couple of weeks I had either been to lazy or to busy." Marcus informs, ruffling her hair as they all begin jabber about this and that while I stood there quietly, my eyes scanning the bar for a familiar pair of green eyes which much to my disappointment I didn't find.
He had said he would be here right? Well then again it is possible I had just looked him over.
There was a large crowd tonight, the dance floor was packed, most of the booths filled and the bartenders and waitress' going out of their minds trying to keep up with all the food and drink orders.
"Hey Lou you want something?" Carson then asked, rubbing a menu in my face and I laughed pushing him off. "Nah not right now. We just got here, it'd be shame to get wasted right away."
He cocked an eyebrow at me but shrug as he moved over to Shailene and his lips formed the same question.
Usually I would've jumped at the chance to get drunk on the spot but I was worried, in a friend way, that I wouldn't be able to find Harry if he showed up, when I could barely stand or talk right.
"Hey guys I'm gonna go walk around and see if I can find anyone else we know, so you know we can form a little group." I informed my mates as they nodded and continued on with their conversation, so I walked away into the crowd with out another word.
There was lots of people in the crowd, it was actually hard to find myself for it was so packed. Yet finally after shoving off a couple of drunk girls and a avoiding nearly every drunk guy, I weaved my way out of the crowd on the dance floor, still Harryless.
"I guess he didn't come." I mumble feeling a strange surge of disappointment, for I had actually been eager for him to come. Though I wasn't sure how to explain to my friends, why I was causually chatting to my teacher who I hated with out arosing suspicion.
Mostly from Carson, who got leery at every out of place element. He wasn't exactly a control freak, but he did like to know what was going on.
Actually there had been a couple of times where I'd considered telling him and Shailene the truth about Harry so I could have their oppion, but I hesitated. For a situation like that wasn't one that was easy to tell your friends about, especially when they had been convinced and told you were perfectly straight.
"One beer please, and can you drop an ice cub in it?" I ask the bartender, sliding into one of the empty stools that were still a bit warm but I paid no attention to it. "Coming right up sir." He responded, a tired but friendly smile on his face as he turned to grab but then a throat was cleared,
"And put that on my tab."
an all to familiar voice announced and I spun around on the stool to see, much to my secret delight, Harry!
He looked so different right now then he did a couple of hours ago though. His normally messy curls were brushed up into a slope like quiff that was bigger then my future, and he wore tight black skinny jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.
"I thought you'd never show." I comment once I drifted out of my daze where I'd been looking him over. That was normal right? "I would've been earlier but there was an arse load of traffic and I had to wait in that long line. Luckily I saw you right away." He told with a shudder at the line and traffic part as he climbed up onto the bar stool next to me and rested his elbows on the counter.
"Oh." I simply respond, suddenly feeling a little awkward because I wasn't sure what to say.
Since when was I awkward around Harry?
"Your beer sir." The barentender then place down the bottle in front of me and I nodded as I took it and took a sip before spinning on my stool and Harry laughed, "Are you going to spin every time you take a sip? Because if so I'd love to vine it." He teases and I stick out my tongue.
"Aren't you lovely."
"I like to think so."
"Don't lie to yourself."
He then scoffed,
"Well aren't you Mr. Sassy pants this evening. What's wrong? Not getting enough in class?"
"No, I get none at all." I remind which was very true actually. I think the last time I had actually pulled a stunt in class or did something out of line was about maybe a week ago? Week and a half? Basically I was starting to make a good record.
"Yeah, actually you've really good lately. I'm impressed." Harry admits and I nod. We both then go into silence for a long moment, with nothing but the noise of the bar filling our ears and the faint sound of Harry ordering a sex on the beach.
Finally after what seemed like an hour of sipping and staring at my beer I cleared my throat and decided to move onto the next conversation topic.
"So how are you feeling? Are the bruises clearing up real nice?" I ask, my voice soft and careful as I rested my cheek on my hand and chewed on the rim of my beer bottle. "Yeah their clearing up. Usually do. I'm just happy he didn't do worse." He responds, a small shrug then slump of his shoulders in the middle.
"Well the busted lip and black eye are fading, and even if they weren't it suits the bad boy thing you've got going." I point out, hoping to lighten his mood a little bit but he just shrugs again and nods at the bartender when his pink lemonade colored drink is placed in front of him.
"Doesn't anyone try to protect you?" I then find myself asking because the question had actually been on my mind.
I mean Harry was an adult now, couldn't he at least try to protect himself? Or couldn't his mum say something in his defense? Or a friend? Maybe his sister? Or was his dad really that bad?
Well actually he probably was considering he raped and killed a thirteen year old girl, not mention Harry's baby sitter, in front of him and he was only sixteen! Sixteen.
Some people might look at that as an age of maturity but if someone hurt one of my sisters like that I'd go bizzare from not only the trauma but anger and grief.
That is why I could understand the logic behind him killing those two guys. It made sense, even though it was wrong.
At least Harry had some remorse for it.
"My mum will try and break it up but not really." He says with a sigh, twirling his straw around in his drink. I then rest a hand on his shoulder and give it a gentle grip as I say much to my surprise,
"You know maybe you should take me with you next time so you know you have back up?" I suggested and he glanced at me with a surprised face but it uplifted, "I would like that very much Louis, definately putting that one into careful consideration." He promises and I bite my lip as a small smile appears on my face and I pull my hand back before resting it on the counter.
"So no lollipops lately? Did the addiction finally alter?" I ask and Harry laughs and shakes his head. "No! I just keep forgetting to grab them lately." He defends with a pouty face and I can't help but notice how adorable he looked.
Was that even possible? To change your look in a matter of seconds?
"With all the stuff you do I'm not surprised." I comment and he laughs then takes a giant sip out of his drink. "Yeah! But I'm glad I thought of them because they help me resist the urdge to smoke. I use to smoke alot of weed but I stopped." He informs and I nod, "Isn't weed illegal?" I then ask and he shrugs, "Depends on how you get it." He informs and I nod as I down the rest of the beer and push the bottle aside.
"So," I start gesturing for him to say something, "Are we playing that game where you say a word then I say a word to make a story?" He asks and I laugh as I shake my head and he snickers.
"Me and my ex used to play that game all the time with my god daughter." Harry then comments and I feel a my mood lower just a bit as Hannah popped into mine and my grin became half a grin.
"Yeah me and my ex used to play stupid games like that to, but we took tons of selfies more then anything. We actually considered making a separate facebook page for them."
An amused look crossed his face and he bit the sides of his tongue before taking a long sip out of his drink, "What happened?" He then asked and I shrugged, "Wasn't working out. We were going to different collages and distance wasn't working for us. It ended on a friendly note though, but we haven't talked in about a year." I say actually begining to wonder what she might be up to.
The break up with Hannah had been what I consider painful but with in four monthes she rarely crossed my mind unless someone mentioned her or mentioned girlfriends. I had really liked her, maybe even been in love with her but I guess with the distance those feelings faded.
"Oh. When me and my girlfriend broke up it was more..ermm..dramatic.." He mutters just loud enough for me to hear and I lick my lips, "Well what happened?" I ask repeating his words and he took a sip out of his drink, "She cheated. For the whole two years we were together she cheated. She was only with me for the money, nothing else. She was the only other person that had seen my scar and been aloud to touch it." He says, his tone a bit bitter and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"How long ago was the break up?" I ask and he frowns as he mumbles to himself and counts on his fingers, "About a good year and a half ago. I'm way over her now." He confirms and I nod as my thoughts drift over the scar thing.
That was another one of those things, I couldn't understand why I had been given the special treatment. I mean I knew Harry liked me but he couldn't possibly like me that much now could he? It seemed like the closer I got to figuring things out the further away I got because more events would come about.
"Well sucks for her because she's missing out." I comfort and Harry chuckles and nods. "Yeah she definately is." He says looking at me with a soft smile and I open my mouth to say something but then yelp as Carson's hand clamps down on my shoulder and grips it tightly.
"There you are Tommo!" He slurs, obviously half drunk and Harry's smile fades into a glare and then into a frown.
Weird.
"Yeah, here I am Carson." I mutter squirming and he pulled his hand away before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and then he noticed Harry and had to blink a few times.
"Mr. Styles?" He asks and Harry nods as I notice a faint tension between the two. I guess Carson still hated him, and Harry wasn't overally fond.
"Yes it's me." He confirms in a low, dry tone.
Why did I feel like I was in trouble here? I mean the tone Carson had used with me definately made me feel like it. Yet it was probably just because he was drunk.
"What are you doing here? Are you here to grade my dancing and drinking to?" Carson snaps and I instantly get up and give him a small shove,
"C'mon you, lets not irritate people when your drunk." I push, trying to get Carson off the scene.
You see the thig with him was that my friend was an irritable slutty drunk. If he wasn't hanging all over girls he was a couple of bad words away from a fight, but the last time that happened we were sixteen and me and Shailene broke it up almost instantly.
"But I don't want to." He whined, his larger frame heavy against mine. "But we have to, c'mon." I press, looking back at Harry with an appoligetic smile,
"Sorry, and thanks for the chat." I call and Harry's face droops as he nods then turns back to the bartender before pulling out and slapping some bills on the counter then got up and begin, much to my disappointment, walking away in the direction of the exit.
Had Carson really gotten him that upset? Was he angry I chose to scoot away my friend the continue with our deep bonding like conversation? Why did he always pull this kinda stuff?
"Why were you talking to monkey man?" Carson asks while we both walk around the crowd and I chew up the inside of my cheek as I think for a moment, "Because I was asking him about the assignment because I didn't understand certain parts." I lie and Carson nods as we make our way back over to the now larger group and I am dragged into a booth by Carson and squished inbetween him and some other girl I had only seen a coupld of times in the hallways.
Looks like this was gonna be a long night.

Notes

Double Update! :)
~Mazzy
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