The next morning I woke up feeling so incredibly exhausted. I hadn’t been able to get any sleep at all last night from all the thoughts that had been going through my mind. I had trouble wrapping my head around the fact that I had actually realized to myself that… that I loved Niall.

Wow.

Did I really just think that? Yes I did. Wow.


It felt a bit weird. And frightening. But at the same time very comforting. I don’t know, man, this was just too god damn big.

Niall’s peaceful face that had a couple of messy blonde locks of hair falling down on his forehead, along with the slight and well-known snore that came from his mouth didn’t make me change my mind at all. As if it was taken out of the cheesiest romantic movie I couldn’t help but smile down at him. God, he was so fucking adorable! And sweet. And incredible. And loyal. And sincere. And honest. And perfect. And… sexy. And… really good in bed. And… hot.

Jesus, I needed to control my behavior. I mean, I couldn’t just sit here and make up the most dirty sex scenarios in my head when Niall was asleep. He wasn’t an object to me. But he just looked so… cute and inviting lying there on his back with closed eyes and a slightly open mouth.

I wonder if he has his usual morning boner?

God, please stop yourself, you filthy little…


But what if he does? I could just take a look under the covers. Just one look. He probably wouldn’t even notice.

Man, what was I doing?! I felt like the goofiest and horniest idiot on the planet when I found myself staring hungrily down at the very visible exposed boner. Why the fuck had we chosen to sleep together naked?! It was just lying there on his stomach… tempting me.


Then I had the silliest idea. I knew it was insane and way too weird, but at the same time I assumed that he wouldn’t mind.
The love for Niall and the fact that he was right here beside me overshadowed the fact that I’d almost gotten raped only a few days and re-experiencing it all again all night in my thoughts. It seemed as though having sex with him had made it all completely vanish from my mind. I mean, what kind of sick horny bastard feels this way?! Why did I so badly want to give him a blowjob, when the last time I did so, I was forced to do it on another man?

I was shocked that the thought of the rape didn’t even scare me at all. How could it be so easy for me to get over this? I was pretty sure that that it probably had something to do with Aida’s presence, her strength and power had always helped me and this time was no failure. But it still felt really weird to already be struggling to compose myself from giving blowjobs again.


Let’s just say that I failed at that. With a huge and proud smirk on my face because of how perfectly great my plan was I slowly removed the covers to completely expose Niall’s naked body. I had to bite down on my lower lip hard to stop myself from cracking up, but at the same time I knew that I was dead serious about the fact that I wanted him again more than anything.

And so I crawled down the bed slightly until his hard boner was right in front of my face. Before I fulfilled my evil plan I reconsidered my feelings around doing this again. Would it feel scary or intimidating after what had happened? I really wasn’t sure, cause it would be odd if it didn’t, but at the same time I didn’t feel any different at all.

Nah, whatever. I put him in to my mouth slowly and immediately started to giggle at the thought of his reaction. His snoring stopped almost immediately and he moved around with his head a bit. His hands travelled down his torso and to his crotch to find out where that feeling came from, while he was groaning slightly, at first because he was still sleepy but then the groans instantly turned their sound in to one of pleasure.


“What…” I suddenly heard him mumble through his moaning. I looked up at him to see that he was now awake and glancing down at me with swollen beautiful eyes. “Oh shit, Maja…”
He didn’t even ask why the hell I was doing this, he just gave in and rolled his head back with closed eyes and gathered my hair in his fist.

But after only a few seconds I could tell that he vigorously looked down at me again to see the great view of what I was doing to him. It was a bit weird to feel his eyes on me, but as I had pretty much put myself in this situation it was probably just best to enjoy every second of his pleasure from watching as well, that he expressed through his quiet moans and his fingers tugging on to my hair.

“Look at me baby,” he suddenly heaved with a raspy morning voice that made the sound of it even sexier than normal.

I did as he told me and was met by a pair of hungry and desperate blue eyes and the second I obeyed his orders he let out a groan that I was very convinced that the others would hear, but I didn’t care. And neither did he. The sight of him and the feeling of his hands now holding my head firmly in place as he started to lightly push himself further in to my mouth was making me completely soaked, I could almost tell the wetness between my thighs.

The sudden switch of domination was so hot and then I completely let go of him with my hand, so that he was now fully in control of how exactly he wanted this to be. That seemed to turn him on like hell as it almost looked like the color of his eyes turned dark.

“Oh God baby…” he purred, once again way too loudly.

He suddenly pushed my mouth off of him a few minutes later.

“Fuck, I’m about to cum,” he explained to me with his chest going up and down rapidly from the excitement my blowjob had caused. He pulled me up towards him and planted a pair of hungry lips on to mine slightly swollen ones, not letting go of my hair in his fist at any point. We were both breathing heavily in to each other’s mouths and he grabbed roughly on to my naked butt as I was straddling him and let his lips travel down my neck along my jawline all the way to my ear where his breath sent shivers through my body and caused the goose bumps to rise all over it.

“That was one terrible way to wake me up…” he whispered with that raspy tone to his voice before biting down on my earlobe.

I was completely helpless. Even though I was lying on top of him he still managed to control everything we did; With one arm wrapped tightly around my waist and the other one grabbing my hair to make me look at him whenever he wanted, he started grinding himself against me. God, that was so hot.

“You went for me when I was off guard,” he told me with a demanding tone while making me stare straight in to his eyes. “Right?” he asked when I didn’t say anything, so I nodded while biting down on my lower lip in order not to scream from the intense feeling that had risen in my lower section from all his teasing. I can’t believe he could make me feel like this just by grinding and talking a bit dirty. I was sweating, my heart was pounding at a race pace and the blood was rushing through me faster than ever.

“You’re going to pay for that teasing,” he purred while pulling on my hair making my head roll back slightly and the warm air from my mouth began to come across my lips more and more often, just by the thought of what he would do.


And in one swift movement he’d slid himself inside me and as he went all the way to my g-spot right away I let out a moan through my teeth that were still biting down on my lip.

“God, you’re soaking…” he breathed while increasing his pace slowly. “You like it?”

I nodded while looking at him. I could already tell that I wouldn’t last long at all and neither would he, from all the teasing we’d been doing all morning and every time I would sit on top he somehow managed to get in to me even deeper than normal.

He suddenly slowed down to a very soft pace which annoyed me a bit, since I was pretty close, and I looked down at him with a confused expression. He was smirking up at me, knowing that he held all the power to my pleasure and that he could do whatever he wanted with it.

“Please…” I heaved vigorously.

“Please what?” he asked me while almost pulling completely out of me. Where the hell did this teasing bastard come from?! It turned me on so fucking much, but when he didn’t have any intentions of fulfilling my intense needs I was just finding him very frustrating to be with.

“Please…” I began but I wasn’t sure if I could end the sentence, I had never really tried to the dirty talk that much. At least not without heavy amounts of alcohol involved.

“I want you to say it,” he forced me.

“I want you… to make me come,” I managed to stutter out through my intense pleasure.

“How? What do you want me to do?” he asked now rubbing himself outside me, which also felt amazing but I was about to go crazy for him and so I bored my fingers in to his chest as I quickly answered:

“I want you to fuck me. Now.”

With an expression that was a mixture between a proud smile and an excited smirk he entered me again and this time he kept up the pace for long enough for the both of us to come at the same time. It was probably one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever had in my entire life; my legs were shaking, my heart was pounding and I had to shut my eyes closed and bite on my lip so violently that it started bleeding a bit, in order not to scream Niall’s name out loud multiple times.

I fell down on to his chest struggling to catch my breath the same way as he, according to the feeling of his heartbeat underneath my chin. We were both sweating and trying our best to recover from this extremely heated session of sex. His chest hair was tickling my skin lightly every time he would breathe in.

I lifted myself off of him and noticed that even my arms were still shivering slightly whenever I would move around and I lay down next to him with both a blurred view and mind.

“That was probably the best way I’ve ever been woken up,” Niall said while turning his head towards me with a huge smile and I started to feel the blood rush to my face. “What made you come up with such an idea?”

“Uhm. I don’t know, I just… thought you looked so… cute and. Sexy,” I admitted with red cheeks and an innocent and shy smile that made him laugh.

“God, you’re lovely,” he chuckled while pulling me back in to his chest and placing a kiss on my hair.

He found me lovely. Did that mean that he loved me? As well as I loved him?
Jesus Christ, Maja, you’re such a twisted person. Are people always acting this silly when they’re in love? This was really a weird experience that I had never tried before…

I rolled over to my small vintage nightstand to grab my cigarettes. After that round I really needed a Marlboro Light to recover.

“Want one?” I asked him and he nodded. Maybe I was a bad influence on him. But he did look like he’d tried out smoking for quite a few times and the fact that he just looked so incredibly hot and sexy holding a cigarette was more than enough to make my guilt fade away.


We both got dressed a few minutes later, me in his grey sweater and him in one of his hundreds of plan white t-shirts before going out in the kitchen both feeling slightly nervous knowing that the others had probably heard a sound or two coming from my room this morning.

Em and Liam were sitting down having coffee at the small table and they both looked up at us with careful smiles. Right then it once again daunted on me what had happened only two days earlier.

And yet here I was… apparently madly in love with this guy next to me and not feeling marked at all by the terrifying situation that had taken place this Thursday night. Although I hadn’t slept that night and therefor I didn’t know whether or not the nightmares would still be haunting me in my sleep, but other than that small concern I didn’t feel any different.

But then again I couldn’t blame Em and Liam for assuming so, so I just mumbled a small “good morning” back to them before pouring some of coffee in to two mugs for Niall and I.

“Where are Harry and Aida?” Niall asked as he sat down next to Em.

“Still in her room,” she answered. “She had another rough night, I think…”

Well, if I hadn’t been feeling terrible before because of seeming so unaffected, I definitely did now.

“Did she have nightmares?” I asked concerned before joining them with the coffee mugs in my hands.

“Yeah, we heard her wake up a few times…” Liam told me rubbing his tired eyes.

I couldn’t help but glance over at Niall with a guilty expression, it didn’t feel good to know how all of your friends were so affected by it and so worried, while you were actually feeling quite all right yourself. I was met by his blue eyes that looked just as guilty as mine.
Especially poor Aida. I mean, if she was having nightmares, she would definitely have gone through some of the heaviest stuff ever.


At that second we heard the door to her room open and only a few seconds later she walked in followed by Harry, which made our tiny kitchen heavily crowded by now. We all looked at them with the same kind of worried expression, Harry looked really exhausted the same way as Liam and Em.

“Good morning,” Aida said much more cheerfully than I was expecting. She did look a bit tired as well, but not something that I would notice if I didn’t know her. “So I’ve been thinking of our outfits tonight, girls…” she then began taking all of us by even more surprise than before.

“O-okay…” Em stuttered.

“Unless you’ve already figured out what to wear?” she asked us but we both shook our heads hesitatingly.

“Good, cause I was thinking that it could be really cool if Em wore her oversize white shirt with those black leather jeans along with your red Nike Air Max. And then we could straighten your hair, it looks so beautiful that way…”

“Okay,” Em admitted in the same confused tone as she’d used the second before.

“And for Maja, you could maybe wear your grey oversize t-shirt with a v-neck and tug it in to your black skater skirt. And then if I could braid your hair in that halo way that I did a while ago. Is that okay?”


But something was wrong. Even though she was standing there in front of us at the kitchen table and talking like she would normally do while chopping up an apple for breakfast, she couldn’t hide it from any of us. We knew her too well. Even the boys, who hadn’t known her for that long could tell that deep down inside, she wasn’t the complete same Aida as before.

A quick nod from Em told me exactly what we had to do. A stunned green eyed girl followed us through the kitchen door with her hand in mine as we entered Em’s room.
I put my arms around her shoulders.

“It’s okay not to be perfectly strong all the time,” I blurred out before thinking about wrapping it up in any way. Em snuggled in underneath my arm to join the hug.

And we were right. Just that moment Aida finally let it out; she started sobbing heavily in to our embrace.

Notes