Us girls all walked over to Perrie’s car in silence to get home. None of us even as much as tried to get the mood better by getting a conversation going, we were just completely quiet, right until Aida, Em and I thanked Perrie for the ride home before we headed up towards our apartment.


The next thing that was said was when Em opened her mouth to sing during our rehearsal for the gigs that we were doing Friday and Saturday. Luckily we didn’t have to come up with a whole new set of songs, we could just use some of the old ones and so we just practiced them instead.



It did brighten up the atmosphere to play music, especially for Em who had a lot more to struggle with at the moment than Aida and I and singing seemed to be the only time when she wasn’t thinking about what had happened in real life during the past week, but finally feeling a bit free to do as she liked to for a brief moment.



And so we spent the next two afternoons rehearsing as well, just to keep us warm. We all slept in Aida’s room together to make sure that Em wouldn’t get so many nightmares, and it was actually getting quite comfortable and cozy living so close even though the rest of the apartment weren’t that big anyway.

Aida’s huge matrass had practically become our entire home now.


“Look girls, we don’t need to pay so much in rent for the rest of the apartment, we’re doing just fine here,” I smiled as we once again snuggled up with some takeout and a movie in there.



Quickly it was time for our gig at a restaurant in East End where we would just play some background music and so we’d chosen to do some of our less emotional songs and instead mostly our covers of different pop songs.


It went really well, I think, some people were actually applauding us when we finished, even though they weren’t supposed to. The owner of the restaurant, Max, seemed quite pleased with what we’d done and hired us for another set of songs the following week. We also got to give our number to some other guests asking for it.


The following Saturday morning I had to get up at 6 o’clock, which was even earlier than I was used to, but I had to Skype with Niall who had a very different time zone and a busy schedule making it hard for us to get to speak to each other.

As I made my way out to the kitchen to make some coffee I was a bit surprised to see Em follow me.


“Nightmares?” I asked on the way.

“No, Skype with Liam,” she said and even though she was half asleep still it was easy to tell that she was blushing a bit.

“Really? How is it going with… you know, him?” I asked.

“Better each day. Even when I’m not with him I still feel more safe and back to normal,” she answered.

“That’s great to hear.”


And it was true. She really had improved during the last couple of days. Being out among people weren’t that difficult anymore, she was smiling a lot more and having spent time with Eleanor every day planning the wedding had kept her mind off all those things that had been making this so difficult for her.


Cara’s funeral was slowly but steady leaving my mind, I was feeling a bit happier each day and just like Em I, and probably also Aida, found comfort in playing and writing music. And it was such a relief.




I took my morning coffee with me back in to my room to get my computer ready. I lid up a cigarette and felt all cheered up at the thought of seeing Niall’s beautiful face, despite me not at all being a fan of the early morning hours.


“Hello love!” he smiled from the computer a few minutes later.

“I think it’s called good morning,” I smiled back at him. “Good to see you.”

“Good to see you too!” he said. “Yeah, it’s actually getting a bit late, around ten o’clock now.”

“How’s everything over there?” I asked.

“Great! Very busy though, an interview as soon as we got off the plane and then a concert. Still fighting the jet lag.”

“Yeah, I saw you tweet. You always tweet about jet lag.” Both of us couldn’t but laugh a bit, both in a very exhausted way though, him because he hadn’t slept properly and me, because I was just not up and running yet around this hour.

He told me about their packed schedule that only left them with one single day off out of the ten days they were gone for. All the time they would have to do interviews, signings, concerts, photo shoots and thousands of other stuff so he and I would have to actually make appointments to talk together, or else he wouldn’t find the time at all.


It felt a bit weird being in London without him, even though we weren’t spending every single day together when he was home. I think all of us girls enjoyed spending some time with just each other, such as going shopping for Eleanor’s wedding dress when I’d finished my conversation with Niall.



And what a crazy day. Journalists and paparazzi’s were following Eleanor everywhere she went snapping photos of her going in to the bridal shops and the fact that the rest of us were with her didn’t make them go less crazy with the pictures and questions.

It was supposed to be a bit relaxing just to go for some shopping in the middle of all the rehearsing that we’d been doing, but as the day lacked towards the late afternoon I felt the exhaustion gradually take over more and more. Doing a gig that night wasn’t exactly what I felt like doing at that point.

We were playing for an hour at some small pub in the East End of London, the owner of that place had seen our concert on Dirty Dicks a few weeks ago.



Around half past ten Aida, Em and I could finally drag our tired asses up the stairs towards our apartment after having done the gig. It wasn’t the best we’d played, but it was good enough, not so many mistakes that we couldn’t laugh off and we were just playing the songs that we’d been practicing for years so it wasn’t that hard. It felt good to have a full set of songs that we knew by heart, because it was also quite hard to find time to write new ones at this point where we were all working at full time jobs, doing around two or three gigs a week and personally I was also playing in Eric’s folk band, which made my schedule pretty booked up.



Things with the folk band was going good as well. I struggled a bit with learning all the hard tunes in time for a gig the next Saturday, where we would be playing a concert at this big hall and then there would be some dancing afterwards, which was just like the folk balls I had been joining all the time in Denmark, I was really looking forward to do that one and I was dragging along all of my friends, they had to experience the atmosphere at such a party, it would be totally different from what they are used to, but they would love it for sure.


In those weeks Aida was really busy as well since people had started hiring her for photo shoots after she’d giving out her number at the exhibitions a while ago. To begin with it was mainly just small jobs, but it still took up a lot of her time and she would often stay up late to finish editing on time.


And therefor it didn’t come as a surprise what she announced that evening when we sat down for some coffee and cigarettes in the kitchen.


“Girls, I’ve decided to quit my job. I can’t keep on going like this,” she said. “And if the jobs keep coming like they do now I’ll have enough money to pay my third of the rent.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you struggle with the time lately,” Em said understanding. “It’s a bit insecure still. Who knows when you’ll have jobs and when not to? You’re going to have to do a lot to be noticed then.”

“I know,” Aida sighed. “And it’s also because I’ve been asked to help on shooting a small movie, but that’s actually full time, it’s not until January though, but I will have my savings if necessary.”

“I understand,” I said. “These few weeks must’ve been so hard on you.”



Only a few minutes later we all went straight to bed in Aida’s room longing for a full night of sleep and looking forward to a Sunday where we weren’t doing anything at all.

Even though Em got better each day – she was now able to do shopping for entire days with Eleanor and planning the wedding without getting scared – but during the nights she would still get afraid of the dark and wake up with nightmares and sleeping right next to Aida and I seemed to help her calm down a bit.


That Sunday none of us left that matrass unless it was to get the food that arrived from the Chinese restaurant that had quickly become our favorite. All we did was to lay around eating takeout, watching movies, smoking cigarettes and playing a bit of music making the most foolish songs for fun. Although some of it actually turned out to be quite good actually, especially when Aida made the grooviest guitar hook ever that just suddenly made an entire song really cool to be honest.

We decided to call it How To Be A Heartbreaker which was all the song was about, this was a song that was just meant to be fun to sing and play, there weren’t much emotion hidden in it which was a great feeling as well, to just have fun with writing it and not think about anything but singing.


In the evening we spent all the time on rolling around on the matrass and the floor holding on to our sore stomachs from laughing so hard at the film Brüno rolling on the screen on Aida’s computer. The sick and twisted humor was just so hilarious and we’d loved that movie for many years, since it would always make us laugh no matter the mood we would be in before.


I was really glad – and very relieved – to sense Em having a few moments where she for once didn’t think about what had happened a week ago, but just doing what she loved the most; joking around, having fun and playing music. She didn’t deserve to be feeling so bad about something that wasn’t at all her fault.



And that was pretty much how we would spent the next couple of days; leaving for work in the early morning, rehearsing whenever we would all be at home all of us, and doing a few gigs that were luckily received with some positive response. Poor Aida couldn’t wait to get her last shift on the photo gallery done and get some proper sleep and time to really get going with her photography and film projects.


Em started working again and now she was feeling quite well going out on her own even though she would have to take the tube home after work when it was already dark around five o’clock. And though she probably didn’t need it we all kept sleeping on Aida’s matrass, since it just felt so comfortable to be so close to people as great as my two friends were. She talked to Liam on Skype as often as her and his busy schedules allowed them to and I think it felt quite comforting for him to hear that his girlfriend was getting better and surrounded by nice people when he couldn’t be there because of his job.


And that was another con I experienced with being with a guy like Niall – I missed him a lot. I couldn’t wait to get to see him on Friday night and I think both Aida and Em were feeling the same way as they were spending each available evening on talking to Liam and Harry who had, just like Niall, Louis and Zayn, been busy performing and doing interviews and photo shoots.



That Thursday late evening, when I’d finished rehearsing with the folk band, I found myself almost falling asleep on the kitchen table top as I was having a cup of coffee around eleven o’clock. It wouldn’t take me much time to figure out a way to pay the rent just by playing music, since the job at Aunt Betty was really taking all of my energy and to think about getting up in the morning for another long and hectic day was really making me feel even more exhausted.
Aida came out of her room and sat down with me lidding up a cigarette.


“What are you doing?” I asked her as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“Just editing some photos. They have to be done by tomorrow morning,” she mumbled sipping of her hot coffee.

Em now joined us as well as she came out of the bathroom with a towel around the enormous amount of hair that she was the lucky owner of.

“I have news,” she smiled making the rest of us look up at her in surprise before she elaborated:

“I have been offered a job as a backup singer in a band. The lead singer is male and apparently they’re recording a couple of songs where they would like a female voice as well.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. “That’s so great, Em!”

“Yeah, I know, he just called me today,” she blushed. “But I’m going to be very busy the next couple of weeks then.”

“Which band is it?” I then asked.

“They’re called The Bomb. Don’t know what’s up with the name though,” she answered which made Aida and I laugh.

“That’s quite funky,” Aida agreed.


And it was now at this point that I started to notice the huge smirk that she’d been wearing the entire conversation despite her stressed and tired condition.

“Okay girl, you need to tell us what’s up,” Em said as she had noticed the same as me.

“Well,” she began. “I kind of have some news as well…”

“You’re pregnant?” Em suggested making me crack up heavily and Aida frown at her foolishness.

“No. Not exactly,” she replied hitting Em’s shoulder. “No. It’s… something else.”

The breaks that she was making as the smirk grew wider and wider was making me go crazy and so I just blurred out: “Jesus, will you tell us what has happened, woman?!”

“Today I got a call,” she said.

“From who? Your mother? Is she all right?” Em tried asking but Aida just shook her head.

“Actually I’m not sure if you know him,” she said teasingly. “Uhm… what was the name? Oh yeah, Nick Grimshaw.”

Notes

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