Envy (Niall Horan) [BOOK 1]

ELIS POV
"Hi." I hear through the phone.
I don't know why, but I just can't make any words come out of my mouth.
"Eli? Please, I hear you breathing. Say something."
I sigh.
"Hi Sofy." I simply state.
"Look Eli, I'm sorry I haven't been getting back to you, but I have a reason for it." Sofy states worried.
"What?" I ask.
"Eli... I'm opening my own restaurant." She whispers.
The anger I had towards her vanishes almost instantly and I begin to squeal.
"Oh my gosh Sofy! That's great!"
"Ya! That's why I haven't been getting back to you, because I've been having to talk to lawyers, land owners, construction, and all of that. I'm sorry."
"Sofy, it's okay. I forgive you." I reply.
"Yay! Now how have you been? Anything special happen?" she asks.
The smile on my face instantly grows at the thought.
"Niall asked me out two weeks ago." I retort.
"OH MY GOSH! FINALLY!" she practically screams through the line.
I laugh at her response and I look to the side of me, seeing my boyfriend walk towards me.
Niall wraps his arms around my waist and lays his chin on top of my head. He really does take advantage of my height.
"Baby, we have to be on the busses in ten minutes." he says.
"Oh my gosh was that him? Put me on speaker now!" Sofy screams.
I roll my eyes and I do as she says. I'm gonna regret this.
"Niall I'm glad you finally grew the balls to ask Eli out, but I swear to god, if you break her heart, that will be the last time you ever see them." Soft states through the line.
And I regret it.
I face palm and mouth "Sorry" to Niall.
Niall laughs loudly.
"Well hello to you too Sofy." He responds with an arrogant grin.
"Blondie, I'm serious." She replies.
"Don't worry. I won't, I swear."
"Good. Now I got to talk to you two love birds later. Love ya. Bye."
Niall and I both say bye and I hang up. I then slip my phone in my pocket and I look up at my boyfriend.
"That was a nice talk." He states while trying to hold back his laughter.
I nod and I give him a quick peck on his lips.
We're in his hotel room now and we're getting ready to leave.
"Which state are we going to next sir?" I ask in a fake british accent.
He chuckles.
"We are going to Pennsylvania miss." He replies in a british accent as well.
My smile fades almost instantly and I begin to walk away.
"Eli, what's wrong?" he asks while walking up to me.
"We're gonna be late. We should start heading to the busses now." I comment, trying not to look into Niall's eyes.
He blocks the door to his room and puts his hands on my shoulders.
"What did I say wrong El?" he asks concerned.
I'm about to open my mouth until I see Lou walk behind Niall.
"Eli! I got your suit case, come on let's go." She says while motioning me to walk to her.
I look back at Niall and I give him a fake smile, before passing him and walking out with Lou.
In the tour busses
I really can't deal with anyone right now. I just want to be alone, so as soon as I go on the tour bus, I run to the bathroom and I lock myself inside. I sigh and begin to cry into my hands. I don't know what's come over me. I just... I'm starting to feel it all over again.
Nialls POV
"God why isn't she answering me?" I yell to myself while staring at my phone screen.
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around to see how it's Harry.
"You okay?" he asks concerned.
I rub my hand over my face and I take a deep breath.
"Eli isn't answering me and I'm worried." I reply honestly.
"Don't worry, we only have a few hours left till we arrive at the next hotel. You can talk to her then." He says.
"Harry, I can't wait that long. You don't understand the sudden pain I saw in her eyes. I don't know what happened and I fear it's my fault."
He looks into my eyes for a second, and I can tell he's thinking about something.
"Hold on a sec." he states, before turning around and walking up to the driver.
I see how he whispers something to the driver, and the driver nods and whispers something back.
He then walks back to me.
"There's a rest stop about ten minutes away. We'll all get down, and you can talk to her there." He says.
I thank him and continue to stare at my black phone screen.
At the Rest Stop
As soon as the tour bus stops, I run out and wait for Eli's bus to arrive.
Her bus parks right next to ours seconds later and I eagerly wait outside the door for her.
I don't see her...
I see Lou come down and I quickly walk up to her.
"Lou where is Eli? Why isn't she coming down? Why hasn't she been answering me?" I ask.
Lou laughs a little, which annoys me since I'm not joking around.
"Niall calm down, she's just in the bathroom. I think she feels sick or something."
I thank her and I walk inside their tour bus.
The tour bus is completely empty. Even the driver left, to go to the rest stop.
As I walk closer to the bathroom, I begin to hear crying.
I don't think she's sick.
I knock on the door endlessly.
"Baby, please open the door. Tell me what's wrong. Please." I beg.
The crying gets louder and I feel my heart begin to beat slower.
"Please baby, you're killing me here. Please talk to me."
She usually talks to me, when she's sad. The silence is eating me alive.
"Please." I whisper through the door.
After what seems like forever, I hear the door slowly open and I quickly look up.
Eli's hair is messy. It looks as if she's been tugging on it, and her face is all red and puffy, matching her eyes.
I quickly wrap my arms around her and she holds me tight, crying into my chest.
"She's gone Niall. She's never coming back and it's all my fault." She states in between sobs.
"Everything's gonna be all right." I whisper while holding her tighter.
"She's never coming back. Never." She screams.
"Shhh." I whisper, while letting go of her and wiping her tears with my thumb.
She stares into my eyes and all I can see is pain in her haunting ones.
She looks down at her feet and takes deep breaths, trying to calm herself.
"I'm sorry." She whispers.
I point her chin up to me so she can look at me.
"Why are you apologizing when you have done nothing wrong?" I ask.
"I don't know..." she replies in a low tone while looking away from me.
She then walks over to one of the mini couches and sits down.
I walk up to her, and I sit next to her.
She twirls a piece of her hair around her petite little finger,
"Eli..."
She sighs and grabs my hand. She squeezes it and shuts her eyes close. I feel that it's her way of telling me that she doesn't want to talk about it.
I'll ask her about it later, when she's ready to tell me.
Her head rests on my shoulder, her fingers still intertwined with mine.
"I'm tired Ni...I'm just tired." She whispers.
I kiss the top of her hand softly, letting her know that when she's ready to talk, I'll be here.
I close my eyes and I lay my head on hers.
Minutes Later
"Niall, wake up."
I feel someone shake me a little.
I open my eyes to see Lou standing in front of me.
"Niall, everyone's back from the rest stop, you can go back to your own tour bus now." She states.
I nod and she walks away.
I look to the side of me, to see how Eli is waking up too.
"Ni..." she tiredly says.
"I have to go now princess." I whisper while slowly letting go of her hand.
I feel my hand being grabbed again, and I turn to see Eli holding on to it.
"Please... don't leave. I need you..." she whispers.
I stare down at our hands, and I squeeze hers tighter, reassuring her that I'm not gonna leave.
She gives me a soft smile and rests her head on my shoulder again.
I stare at her. She looks so fragile and vulnerable right now, and I just want to make her feel better.
Screw the rules. I'm not going back to my tour bus. She needs me.
I tell Lou to text Harry that I'm staying in this tour bus for the rest of the ride. She agrees and I rest my head back on Eli's, drifting back to sleep.
Two Days Later
Eli has been a little distant lately. She just doesn't seem comfortable around anyone, not even me. Whenever I try to have a conversation with her, she just gives me short simples word answers with no emotion in her eyes. I want to be there for her. I want to make her happy again. I miss her smile...
Right now the lads, Eli and I are all in my room. We're just watching football and eating pizza. All of the boys and I are sitting on the floor, while Eli is just sitting in my bed. I want her to be here with me. I want to just wrap my arms around her and kiss her till her pain goes away.
"I think I'm gonna leave." I hear Eli's voice say from behind me.
I look to the side and I see how she's already walking towards the door. I quickly get up and I practically run to her.
"Don't leave." I say.
She gives me a fake smile and looks down for a second before meeting my eyes again.
"I'm tired." She replies.
She tries to walk passed me, but I guard the door, so she won't leave.
"No you're not. Stop lying to me." I demand.
"Move." She says while looking straight at the door.
"Not until you tell me why you're so hurt."
She looks at the boys and back at me.
"Guys, I don't want to be rude, but I kinda need to talk to E-"
"We understand." Liam states as they all get up and leave the room.
As soon as they walk out, I walk towards my bed and I sit down at the edge of it while motioning her to sit next to me.
She slowly walks to where I'm at, not taking her eyes off me.
"Sit." I say.
She does what I say and she avoids eye contact with me.
"Eli, look at me."
She shuts her eyes for a second and then turns her head to face me. She looks like she's on the verge of tears.
"Now tell me what's wrong." I say seriously.
She sighs and swallows hard.
"Ni, we're in Pennsylvania." She whispers as the first tear falls from her eye.
I quickly wipe it away with my thumb.
"What happened in Pennsylvania?" I ask.
She bites her lip, obviously nervous, so I hold her hand... I hold it tight.
She looks down at our hands for a moment and squeezes mine.
"It's where I'm from... It's where everything happened. Where she got sick...where she passed away... where she got buried...Ni I..."
I quickly wrap my arms around her and she holds on to me for dear life.
"Ni, I didn't even go to her funeral... I-"
"Shh. You're just going to torture yourself more. None of this is your fault." I whisper into her hair, before kissing the top of her head.
Her tears begin to wet my shirt, which causes me to hug her tighter.
"Ni, if I wasn't born... she would still be alive. I-It's all my fault."
I feel my eyes widen in shock. How can she think that? I let go of her and I look straight into her eyes.
"Eli, your mother's passing is none of your fault. She died because she got sick. It pains me to say this to you, but it's true... Don't you ever blame her death because of your existence. Ever. If you didn't exist I-"
I bite my lip. I was about to confess my deep love for her. She knows I love her, but she doesn't know how much...
I see the tears and pain in her eyes so I decide to continue and take the risk.
"Eli, I love you. Even though I've told you, you truly don't understand how much. Whenever you say my name, it sounds like the best thing in the world... Your eyes... they captivate me. I could stare at them for hours. Your laugh, the way the sun's light always hits you so perfectly...you..you look like an angel. My angel...Every thought in my mind is about you. Every time, Harry made you laugh or smile... I wish I would disappear right at that moment. You're kind of like oxygen to me. I know it sounds odd, but it's true. I feel as if I need you with me all the time or I will die. I guess I'm 'clingy' with you. I've never felt like this about anyone. It's a deep feeling I have...it's only for you. If you we're to never exist... I most likely would never have been acquainted with this feeling. This adoration...So please.. never say that your existence, is what caused all of these horrible things to happen. I love you Eli. I love you so much, that even being this close to you is causing me to have trouble breathing. I've fallen hard. And I don't think I'll ever be able to stand back up."
I look straight into her eyes and see how there wide. Her lips are parted a little, and she's just staring at me.
I feel my cheeks redden at her silence and I begin to regret what I just confessed. I freaked her out. Oh no what did I do...
I rather be punched in the face than live another second of this.
"I'm sorry." I mutter.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable... I'll leave.. Good- bye." I say as I begin to walk towards the door. Even though it's my hotel room, I don't care. I just have to leave.
I feel so stupid. You haven't even been dating for a month! You just ruined everything an-
"Don't ever say that again."
I turn around and see Eli walking towards me.
I look down at me feet and my face reddens more.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that I-"
"Never say good bye to me again." She says while her eyes water.
I don't respond. I don't understand what she's trying to say, so I wait for her to continue.
"My grandparents told my mother good bye before they kicked her out. My father told my mom good bye before he left and never came back. My mom told me goodbye... before..before she left me forever. I don't like good byes Niall. I actually hate them. There pesky little things. I never want you to say them to me ever, because I can't stand even the thought of you leaving me." She says while crying.
I can't help the smile on my face from growing, as well as the tears. I never cried before I met Eli. But damn it, when she says things like that, she gets to me.
I grab her face and pull it closer to mine. Our lips meet and I don't think I'm going to ever be able to pull away. Her hands begin to tug at my hair and I wrap my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her in closer. The kiss is intensifying and passionate. Tears stream down both of our faces, which causes me to want her more. I feel my hands begin to shake due to the electricity and goose bumps begin to spread all over my body. I want her. I want her so bad, but I know she isn't ready yet to try "new things", so I hold back my desires.
She pulls away and I'm a little saddened by it, but I know that we both need to breathe. I lay my fore head on hers, and I shut my eyes. I just want to take in the moment.
"I'm desperately in love with you. I-I need you." She whispers, in between breaths.
I peck her once more on the lips and then I begin to kiss her nose, her cheeks, and her forehead.
She giggles. Damn, I love her.
Her giggling stops and she begins to look vulnerable again.
"Ni, can I sleep here tonight...with you? I just don't think I can handle the thoughts in my head again, if I'm alone." She asks shyly.
"Of course." I reply.
Her smile widens and I can't help but smile as well.
I then scoop her up and carry her to my bed. I begin to tickle her.
"Stop it Ni." She says while laughing.
I love her smile so much.
"No! Not until you say the words again." I say with an evil grin.
"What words? Please I'm dying." She states as her face begins to turn red from her laughter.
"Say that you're desperately in love with me."
"Never!" She teases.
I tickle her faster.
"Fine. Fine! I'm desperately in love with you." She screams.
"What I didn't hear you."
I love hearing her say it.
"I'M DESPERATELY INLOVE WITH YOU NIALL!" she yells.
I stop tickling her and I can't help but smile at my victory.
She throws a pillow at me.
"Ow."
"That's what you get! Any ways, I would've said it again willingly." She whispers the last part while blushing.
I scoot next to her in my bed and I hold her face with both of my hands, as I kiss her again.
"Never leave me." She begs.
"Never."
Weeks later
Ever since that night, Eli and I can't get enough of each other. Every time I see her, she practically runs to me. It's quite adorable. I asked Simon, and he finally allowed her and me to share a hotel room in every hotel. I love waking up to Eli, especially when I wake up before her. She always looks so peaceful and calm when she's asleep. She actually looks even more beautiful.
Today is a very important day for me and Eli actually. Today we're going to make our relationship public. Simon told us that all we have to do is hold hands and do affectionate things in public with no disguises. To make it obvious. That actually sounds nice.
Eli and I take this opportunity to finally have our first date. Ya we've been dating for weeks now, but we still haven't had our first date. We just haven't had the time.
"What do I wear?" Eli asks from the closet. Our closet.
"I don't know, what do you want to wear?" I ask her.
"You haven't exactly told me where we are going, so I don't know how fancy I should dress."
I chuckle a little. I forgot that she doesn't know.
"Dress casual." I say.
"Okay." She replies.
She walks into the bathroom holding the clothes she is going to wear.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower first." She says.
"Okay."
As she showers I watch some tv. I'm already dressed. I guess it's just faster for a guy.
I'm wearing a white v-neck, dark jeans, and white converse. I decide to go into my drawer and I take out the yarn bracelet that was given to me by my Eli, more than a year ago. Wow. A lot has happened between us. I play with it a little, and decide to put it on. Even though we're dating, I still like wearing it from time to time.
I hear the bathroom door open from behind me and I turn around to face Eli.
She's wearing a flowy purple tank top with light denim jeans, and black sandals. Her hair is also in a low side braid.
I love the fact that Eli isn't one of those flashy fashion obsessed girls. She dresses simple, and still looks stunning.
"You look beautiful." I say.
Her cheeks turn pink and she smiles.
"Thank you. You look nice too. Are you ready to go?"
I nod my head and we walk out of our room.
When we're outside the hotel she notices two bodyguards walk behind us. She observes them and bites her lip.
I grab her hand.
"Don't worry, there not gonna run from us like the others did." I state.
She nods her head uncertain and squeezes my hand tighter.
She looks down at our intertwined fingers and smiles.
"You're wearing it." She comments.
I see how she's referring to the friendship bracelet she made me and I smile back.
"It's my favorite bracelet." I reply honestly.
She kisses my cheek and my smile grows bigger. I love how I make her happy.
"So are one of them going to drive us?" she asks.
"Nope. We're walking." I respond.
I thought she would complain about how she would have to walk like a girl usually would, but then I remember how Eli isn't like most girls.
"I actually like walking better to be honest. I like being able to hold your hand." She adds.
I feel my stomach flutter at her words.
"Me too."
We begin to walk past buildings and I try to look for the specific one. I stop in my tracks, when I spot it.
"Here we are." I state.
She stops and looks at the building. Her mouth drops in awe and I can't help but stare at her. She looks adorable.
"Niall, this is probably the biggest library I've ever seen." She says.
"Wait until you see the inside."
I picked the library because I know how much Eli loves to read. She hasn't read in a while, and I think she misses it.
When she walks in, her eyes widen.
This library is truly magnificent. The floor is made of marble and the ceiling has a painting of book quotes. The rows of books are endless and I know that she's going to want to read everything.
The body guards stayed outside so they wouldn't disturb us and I appreciate that.
"Niall this is... this is breath taking." I hear my baby say.
Not as breath taking as her.
She gives me a hug and kisses my cheek.
"Thank you so much, I mean wow!"
I laugh.
"The date hasn't even started yet and this is the first part. Don't thank me yet." I respond.
Her eyes twinkle with excitement.
Today's going to be perfect. She's perfect. I know the fans are going to love her. How can you not love her? She's flawless and she's all mine.

Notes