Envy (Niall Horan) [BOOK 1]

ELI’s POV: It’s been about four months since I came back from the hospital. They told me that I collapsed due to exhaustion, dehydration, and starvation. To be honest, I didn’t even care why I collapsed. I felt that it was all worth it because I got to keep in touch with Niall. When I was at the hospital all I could think about was him. I even thought I heard his voice speaking to me. Sofy said that it was probably just the medication causing me to hallucinate because she didn’t see him come by at all.
When I got out of the hospital a week later I was prescribed many medications. The hotel paid for everything. I still don’t know and understand why. Steve gave me a promotion. I am now permanently working in room service. He fired me from all the other jobs. He’s making sure that what happened won’t happen to me again. He’s even paying me more money than all the other room service employees which again, I don’t understand why.
Back to the Niall situation….he hasn’t called me ever since the conversation we had before I fainted. He didn’t reply to my texts or answer my calls. I just didn’t and still don’t understand why. I am just so confused right now about everything. Even though I should be happy because I got a promotion, I’ve been eating again, and Sofy and I are pretty much sisters….I feel numb inside. The person I trusted the most just erased me from his life like nothing. As if I never existed.
I would start having fights with myself. “He’s not calling because he’s probably working and doesn’t have time right now.” “Are you kidding? Your trash! When he found out that you fainted he thought you were a weak joke!” “No you’re wrong! He’s going to call! He is!” “You’re right about something though. He doesn’t think you’re weak or a joke because that would mean that he thinks about you and that would mean that you’re something. All you are, all you will ever be is nothing.”
I would always lose to my dark side. I would end up just going to the storage closet and crying.
After my crying phase, I got into my lifeless stage. Where ever I went, whatever I did, my face would be like a blank canvas. You know how if you mix too many colors together it just makes black? That’s how I felt. I was filled with so many emotions that I just turned black inside. I couldn’t talk to anyone. Not even Sofy. I didn’t have dreams or nightmares. Sleeping was just to sleep. When I did talk, they we’re just basic one worded answers like “ya” or “sure”.
The third phase was anger. I would start getting angry at anything that had to do with him. Whenever I heard Sofy say the name James, it pissed me off. I would even scream at her. She never would scream back I’m guessing because she understood what I was going through. She would just apologize and walk off. I even started to hate Frank Sinatra because his song was the song that I sang to Niall whenever he was scared. That made me even angrier because I hated something my mother loved.
After that phase I went into my recovering stage. I’m in it right now actually. I’m still sad, but not as much as before.
Even though I’m not a maid anymore, the other maids let me still go in the cleaning storage closet whenever I want. They gave me a key just for myself. I go in there just to think really.
I am now starting to realize that even though Niall made me shattered inside. He also made my life better. Before I even met him, I was depressed and “to myself”. Now I have the sister that I’ve always wanted, a better job, I go out more, and many other things.
Today Sofy and I have a day off so were going to hang out together.
“Hey Sofy are you ready yet?” I ask from the bathroom while fixing my hair.
“Almost let me just put on my shoes and I’m ready to go.” She replied
I walk out of the bathroom and spot Sofy slipping on her shoes. When she stands up I see that she’s wearing a pair of skinny light blue jeans rolled up at the bottom, a white tank top with a navy blue cardigan, black ankle boots, and her straightened hair let down loose.
I’m wearing a pair of dark blue denim shorts, a white v neck, converse, and my hair is down as well but it’s not straightened like Sofy’s.
“Come on lets go.” Sofy says while walking to the bedroom door.
“Where are we going?” I ask her.
“Well I’ve planned a day of mani pedi’s, shopping, and a movie.”
“We should eat lunch first.” I say.
“Ya sure where do you want to eat?” she retorts.
“Panera?”
“Sure.” She says while nodding her head.
At Panera
We’re sitting down at Panera right now getting ready to eat. We’re both having an oversized salad and one of their delicious cookies. Since Sofy says that both of our mani pedi’s are on her I paid for lunch.
Since Niall ignored me, I don’t have to pay for my phone so much anymore and I saved a bunch of money. Now I can pay for things like buying lunch. While I’m stuffing my face with food, Sofy’s phone rings.
When she gets it out of her pocket her eyes widen and she quickly stands up and walks outside to talk. I look through the window near me and see how she keeps on looking at me while she’s talking to the person.
After about fifteen minutes Sofy comes back inside and sits down as if nothing happened.
“Sofy who we’re you on the phone with?” I ask her.
“Um no one just um James wanted to see how I was doing.” She retorted.
I’ve been noticing that at random times Sofy would receive random calls that I’m guessing aren’t from James. She wouldn’t be so secretive about it if they were from him.
Sofy notices my confusion and says “Eli don’t worry it was just James okay.”
“Ya.” I simply state still suspicious.
After Sofy finishes her food we head out of the restaurant to the parking lot. There was a young girl and her mother I’m guessing walking in front of us. The young girl who looks around 12 years old had her purse around her arm. I notice how something falls out of her purse and I run quickly to go get it and give it back. When I see what it is my heart sinks. It was a magazine. It was one of those young teen ones. On the cover were pictures of different celebrities with headlines next to the picture. One of those pictures we’re of One Direction. Niall was smiling right next to Liam. He looks so happy. The darkness and sadness begins to grow quickly. Sofy sees how I’m standing in the middle of the parking lot and walks up to me.
“You ok El?”
I hide the magazine behind my back quickly so she won’t notice and put on a fake smile.
“Ya I’m fine. Where did you park?” I ask trying to change the subject.
“What’s behind your back El?”
“I-I nothing.”
She then turns me around and grabs the magazine.
“Eli I-.”
“Can you drop me off at the hotel Sofy?” I ask.
“Eli-“
“I know you planned today and all but I just can’t..”
I then can’t help the tears that fall and cry on Sofy’s shoulder as she quickly hugs me and starts rubbing my back.
“I’m so sorry Sofy, You planned everything and I-.” I begin to cry even more feeling horrible.
“Shhh it’s ok Eli.”
“Sofy he forgot about me. He promised he wouldn’t and he did.”
“Shhhh. What we’re going to do now is throw away this magazine, go back to the hotel, steal some ice cream from the kitchen, change into our pj’s, and watch a bunch of movies on my laptop in our room with the all the lights turned off alright?” she says while still rubbing my back.
I nod and hug her even tighter.
“Thank you.” I whisper.

Notes