Never In a Million Years (Zayn Malik)

i woke up with two arms wrapped tightly and securely around my waist and a face in my neck.i could feel his chest behind me slowly going up and down indicating he was still sleep.it took me second to realize we were both naked and even though i did....it last night with him i still felt my cheeks go red.
last night was... something.Zayn was gentle with me and said sweet nothings in my ear the entire time,he even asked me about 100 times if i was sure or not.i was nervous thinking it was going to hurt like hell.but it didn't as much as i excepted,at first yeah it hurt really bad but after a little amount of time,the pain was replaced with pleasure.
last night i was nervous a lot,but zayn,he seemed more nervous than me!i mean i know he had sex before but last night he looked worried.but after a while he was enjoying himself quite a lot,actually last night he looked in a war with himself,he was trying to be gentle but i knew he wanted something completely different.he looked like he was using everything in himself not to hurt me.believe it or not he actually told me himself during.in these exact words:
"you have no idea whats it taking for me to control myself right now"
yeah i know,it may sound harsh right now but last night it fit the situation perfectly.
i tried getting of the bed to put something on but zayn wouldn't budge,he even tightened his grip more making it harder for me to even breath.i tried again but still nothing.
i guess i woke him up cause he groaned,which i presume meant 'stop moving'.
i told him:
"i want to put something on"
he groaned again which i think meant 'you don't need to' or 'i don't want you to' or even 'i like you more this way' it depends if he's being his cheeky bastard self or not.
i told him:
"but zayn-"
before i could finish what i wanted to say he turned me around rolling on top of me making me gasp when i felt something between my thighs.i looked at zayn with wide eyes and he was only smirking down at me,he said:
"how you feeling?"
i felt myself blush harder at the obvious erection between my legs,it was getting me quite uncomfortable and it was hard for me to process what was coming out of my mouth.:
"i...i-....."
he leaned down and kissed me on my lips while saying:
"care for round two?"
i didn't know what to say but i felt extremely sore and well my ass and back hurts a little.Avin told me it's normal after the first time and it'll go away soon.but i don't think i'm ready for round two as he puts it just yet.
"c-can we wait...i feel a l-little sore.."
he leaned down and kissed me for about a good 10 seconds and whispered:
"it's okay.i have to say i'm a little disappointed,i always loved sex before breakfast"
i felt myself go 10x times more redder at his words.doesn't this boy have any sort of filter?
i blurted out:
"c-can you p-please get off?"
he chuckled probably because he knew i was getting uncomfortable and said:
"Come on Anna!don't tell me you're still shy!we had sex for gods sake!"
i groaned:
"zayn!"
he chuckled rolling off of me completely and said:
"ok,ok,sorry"
i grabbed the sheets tightly wrapping them around my body and sat up in the bed suddenly feeling a rush of pain in my spine and behind.
i stood up and walked towards the bathroom deciding a warm shower will help me and closed the door behind myself,i turned on the shower and walked under it sighing at the contact,i cleaned my hair and my body and was just washing the shampoo of myself when i felt someone kissing me on my shoulder making me gasp,he whispered in my ear:
"thought i'd join you"
he grabbed me by my waist turning me around and pushing me up against the wall while kissing me roughly,i didn't object and just kissed him back as forcefully.
i guess the shower did make me feel better.
he suddenly stopped and i whimpered at the loss contact,he looked in to my eyes looking like he was seeing every part of me and asked:
"Annabelle?"
"yes Zayn?"
"i love you,you know that right?"
i felt this heart warming feeling inside of myself,and this other feeling at the pit of my stomach when ever Zayn is around,i smiled at him and pecked him while saying:
"of course,i love you too"
"good to know"
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January 12,the same year.

"guys shut the fuck up!he's coming!"
"Annabelle king Watch your mouth!"
"sorry mom,Harry can you please stop sucking Avins face off for one minute and just hide like every one else!"
Liyha also rolled her eyes saying:
"seriously Styles,my little sister is in the room"
Avin giggled while harry rolled his eyes and kneeled down behind the couch dragging Avin with him.just then the door opened with Zayns voice following:
"Babe!they had none of the brand-...."
"SURPRISE!"
we all yelled jumping out of our hiding places while Zayn stood there looking Shocked.i smirked knowing i got him.
every one went forward hugging him and wishing him happy birthday.he was laughing and smiling widely clearly happy and the sight just made me happy.just standing there seeing him with no worries,hugging and talking to his friends and family not caring about anything else,made my heart go all warm.
he looked up after hugging the last person which happened to be Liam and looked around clearly looking for someone.when his eyes found me he smiled even bigger and before i knew it he was standing in front of me leaning down and kissing me.
i heard a couple of awws, but i also heard Harry saying 'she was just telling me to stop kissing my girlfriend look at her now' and i also heard Liyha make a noise like she was vomiting and a series of laughter after that.i giggled also and zayn finally let go.i whispered to him:
"Happy birthday"
he chuckled and said:
"Thank you"
the rest of the night was spent in nothing but happiness.it was a long time since every one gathered together and i was happy i was seeing every one again.
after every one left,it was just me and zayn clearing out the living room from the plates and after we were done i walked behind him hugging him from behind saying in a quiet voice:
"i know i said this about 10 times tonight but happy birthday"
he chuckled turning around putting his hands on my waist while i put mine on his shoulders and he said:
"i know i said this about 10 times tonight but thank you"
i smiled at him and he said:
"but seriously thank you Anne,for everything"
"naah,it was nothing"
"it was to me,just that you went through all this for me means the whole world to me,just knowing that you actually care is the best feeling in the world"
i stood on my toes and pecked him,while asking:
"well,i'm tired aren't you?"
he yawned while down at his watch,the watch i gave him last christmas,and said:
"woah it's already 5:30 AM."
"really?"
"yeah"
he sighed while saying:
"i love you Annabelle"
i decided to tease him and told him:
"yeah,okay"
before i knew it i was scooped up and thrown on his shoulder making me let out a scream while he laughed walking in to the bedroom.i was laughing also telling him to put me down and he did only, he threw me on the bed while tickling me making me laugh uncontrollably and begging him to stop.he said:
"tell me you love me!"
i decided to tease him more so i said:
"Never!"
he said:
"ok you asked for it"
but before he could even reach behind my knees which were my weakness and he knew it,i yelled:
"ok,ok, i surrender,i love you!"
he smiled sheepishly at me while kissing me and saying:
"good to know"
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"Hello,you've reached Zayn,do your thing"
i sighed for the 7th time that night.i've been calling zayn in the past week and he'll either answer me telling me he's busy or he won't answer me at all leaving me to his voice mail.
i didn't bother leaving one just like the last times.i know i sound like a clingy girlfriend right now,but can you blame me?we haven't had a conversation more than 1 minute in the last week,maybe even 2 weeks or even the last month.and when ever we do,i can't help but feel like Zayn doesn't want to talk to me.like he has completely changed his attitude towards me.he doesn't answer with 'hey babe!' or 'hey Anne!' or even a simple 'hey!' , instead he answers with 'hello' or 'hi' even one time he answered me with a 'what?'.
i can't help but think, what if he doesn't love me anymore? what if he wants to break up with me? and a lot of more 'what ifs'....
that's what makes me feel a lot nervous because i'm going to see him tomorrow,when he pays us a visit.
and the biggest 'what if' on my mind at the moment is...
"what if i lose him tomorrow?"

Notes

:D :D :D i updated!!!!!
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seriously guys this story is coming to an end!the ending is something alright. and i guarantee you will all want to kill me.
i'm trying to get to know my readers so i have some questions you can answer about yourself if you want to.
1.what's your first name? (not necessary)
2.whats you favorite color?
3.favorite song at the moment?
4.favorite food?
5.your favorite/crush in One direction?
6.do you like the wanted?
7.your crush outside of one direction?
and any other thing you want to tell me!i always wanted to get to know you guys!

Love
/
Anoosha