Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, give me love,

i was humming with the song slowly,i haven't talked to any one since last night.not my brother,not my mother,not my father,not liyha,not even Avin.
i turned my phone off after my little remembering last night.to say i was feeling sad was the understatement of the century.
i felt sad but also i felt broken,hurt,un wanted,useless,good for nothing, over all i felt horrible,awful.
i didn't want to talk to anyone,so i did the only other thing that helped me when i felt bad,i wrote.no matter what it was,a song,a story,a diary,i just wrote.i would write all of my feelings away on a piece of paper,believe it or not it helped,a lot.
right now,i was writing a letter to zayn,not that he would see it anyway,it just felt good to pretend i would tell him these things.
some parts of the paper was wet due to me crying a little here and there,well can you blame me?how would you feel if your first boyfriend who you ever began to actually feel something for cheated on you the first 2 weeks he spent away from you.i know we only spent 2 months together but a lot happened in those 2 months.
i started writing like this:
"
Dear Zayn
you have no idea how i felt when i read that article about you being with another girl,i felt crushed,betrayed but most than all i felt hurt.i kept asking myself over and over again what did i do to make him not want me anymore?but that question made me realize something,i didn't do anything,that meant you got tired of me.but who could blame you,i mean i would probably get bored of myself.i'm gonna be honest with you,i saw perrie's pictures with Liyha and the first thing i told myself was 'oh my god she's gorgeous,i'm nothing compared to her' i also asked myself when you told me you like me 'what does he see in me?i don't have anything.i'm not beautiful,i don't have a nice body,i don't have anything' but every second i spent with you made me feel better about myself.you made me forget everything,you made it seem like you didn't care and you thought i was beautiful,and i'm gonna thank you for that,you were the first one who ever did that for me.
i don't know where you are right now,i don't even know what your doing right now that i'm writing this letter for you,your probably on a Tv show or your in the middle of a concert for all i know,maybe your with her.i hope you're having a good time.i just wanted to tell you something i should've told you before,something i shouldn't have done,something which makes all of this harder for me,something that made seeing you kissing some one else a million times harder,
something that i thought never in a million years would happen.
i just wanted to tell you i fell for you,
and i think i fell in love with you hard."

Notes

oooooooooooooops.i know it's short but i wanted to update a little sooner.
you all are going to kill me aren't you,because zayn hasn't done anything yet.
by patience my darlings.i'm trying to make this story a little more grown up.it's not always gong to be rainbows and happily ever afters.
so tell me what you think.
Love
/
Anoosha