The Exchange
Date Night
March 1st 2014
Today Dr. Asshole gave me this journal to write in. He knows how much I love to write and decided I need to keep a journal....even though I already do. This one is for my issues but aren't all journals for issues? I mean, journals or diaries are for you to talk to yourself without being labeled crazy. Anyway, today I'm supposed to talk about what makes me happy and I can't say Harry. So I'm going to start of by saying that Harry makes me happy. There. Watcha gonna do Dr. Asshole? God, I'm glad he doesn't read this. Okay, for real. This may take a while but this is what makes me happy:
Rhylie. Even though it's super sad I'm happy to know Harry and I created him together. And even though he past away I still feel like he's kicking inside of me. It's the weirdest thing but I know what I feel and I love it.
Marilyn. Marilyn makes me happy just by talking to her. She could say 'fuck' and I'll smile. Whoops...I'm not supposed to curse in this journal....
Reading. Reading makes me happy because it takes me into a different world where adventures happen and I'm not involved. I'm simply the observer while reading.
Painting. Painting makes me happy because I can express everything through art. If I feel sad I can smear a piece of paper with blue and I'll feel better.
Salmon. This makes me happy because it tastes good.
Okay, well Harry is taking me out on a date tonight so I have to stop being all stupid now. I hate that he doesn't live with me but it's been about a week and I love being able to see him at school. I've never smiled so much or had something to look forward to when I get to school. I've never been more thrilled to get up in the morning. Okay, bye for real!
I closed my journal and hopped in the shower quickly, though shaving my legs slowed me down. We're going to dinner and a movie as if we just started dating. It's our six month anniversary and it feels so good. I can't wait to tell him I got into the universities in England on top of everything else.
Even though Harry's moved out I feel just the same, maybe even happier. Not because he's gone but because I have something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning.
I heard the doorbell ring and butterflies began swarming. It's just Harry but this is our first "date". My dad will open the door and he'll come in and wait for me. I've never had this before, never.
I finished curling the ends of my hair and pulled my new, gray sweater over my head. My dad called for me to come downstairs so I quickly slipped on my black vans and took a breath.
You can do this, I thought.
I peeked down the stairs and no one was there. I guess my dad took Harry to the living room. When I walked in they were talking and I could tell Harry looked on edge but my dad acted like he normally does around Harry and they just spoke of sports until I walked in of course. They both looked at me and stood. My face lit up as I saw him looking absolutely stunning. All he had to do was put on a plaid shirt and fix up his beautiful curls and he could capture any girl. I just happen to be the lucky one.
"Hi," I managed to get out as he took in my company.
"Hi," his gaze probably looked similar to mine until it was broken from my dad.
"Okay, I need you back by one o'clock. So dinner, movie and your friends house?"
"Mhmm," I nodded, trying to hide my excitement. I haven't been able to hang out with Harry all week outside of school and it's been killing me.
"Okay, be safe," he kissed me on the forehead and nodded at Harry. Our goodbyes were said and we left.
Harry's Point of View
I rang the doorbell which felt quite odd considering this was my home for almost eight months. Jack opened the door and I tried to smile but he still scares me. I guess he caught my feelings so he smiled and led me to the living room.
"It's odd ringing the doorbell, isn't it?" he chuckled as if everything was normal.
"Yeah, just a little," we sat down and he continued on about the football game that was on. Soccer that is. He called for Alyssa and that's when he focused all of his attention on me.
"I'm going to give you this talk like I would to any other boy who would be taking my daughter out. She's my baby Harry, she's my little girl and I don't want you to hurt her," sure he has the twins but they aren't his blood, they're just his step children, "I don't want you having sex and I want her home by one tonight. I know you guys share friends so have fun but not too much fun."
As he spoke I just continuously nodded my head. He's very blunt, that's for sure. We heard footsteps and turned round to find Alyssa. She looks gorgeous. I can tell all of her clothes are new and I wonder if it's because of me? Regardless, she looks lovely.
"Hi," she said shyly. Her dimples were fully visible and I almost wish we had done this dating thing like this from the beginning. Sure we hung out but it was never like an actual date where I pick her up; now with Niall's car.
"Hi," I responded just as shy.
Her dad spoke a few more words and then we left. I took her hand in mine and led her to the passenger door. Before I had the chance to open the door she turned towards me and kissed me, holding my face in the palm of her hands. I took her waist and pulled it towards me, resting my hands on her lower back.
"I missed you so much," she said against my lips. I laughed with happiness.
"I miss you too," I helped her in and we drove. Her hand is just as smooth as before and I made sure to hold it the whole time, never letting go. Instead of silence we talked all about our week and what we did when we weren't at school. It's weird how much different our conversation is now that we don't live together. She's able to tell me all the shit that goes down at her house and I'm able to tell her how stupid Niall is when no one else is around. This thing we have, this living apart seems to be making us stronger. As much as I want to live with her again, to sleep with her, and hold her in my arms, I can live with this until we graduate.
After dinner and a cheesy romance which made both of us cry we drove over to Zayn's house with more conversation.
"Did you go shopping?"
"Yeah, my mom and I went on a big shopping spree," she played with my curls as I drove and told me all about their trip. I like that they're getting along. This therapy seems to be working.
"And I went to the shooting range with my dad yesterday, it was so much fun," I sighed. I think she went to the shooting range with Liam one time, "hey! She slapped my arm, "enough of that. We can go too if you want," I hate that she can read my mind.
I looked at her smiling and put my eyes back on the road, "I love you Alyssa."
"I love you too."
Alyssa's Point of View
"How is it not living with him?" Perrie asked as her and El threw question after question.
"It's not as bad as I thought. I do miss sleeping with him though."
They both awed and I giggled. Only a few more months. Unfortunately he's going home but it's okay, I'll be over there soon enough and we'll be together again. I searched the room for Harry as Perrie and El drank some more. I found him talking with Liam and Louis but I want him to myself. I haven't had sex with him since before Christmas.
I left the girls alone and wrapped my arms around his waist. We both decided we wouldn't be drinking tonight; I haven't been up to it since I found out about Rhylie and Harry is driving.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah," he opened his arm for me to lean back into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. I let them continued talking for a few more minutes and then Harry pulled me to the side.
"I miss you," I whispered against his ear. When I pulled away he ran his hand through his thick curls and bit his bottom lip.
"Are you suggesting we-" I stopped him with a kiss and we continued. We eventually stopped to look around and found nobody. The stairs were close so we snuck up and found the guest bedroom. He locked the door behind us and I was laid on the bed gently. I want this to be romantic and very careful.
"Do you have a condom?" I felt him nod his head as he continued kissing me and pulled his wallet out of his jeans. Without any foreplay we began undressing each other. Just thinking about what is about to happen made me sigh.
When we were only in our underwear Harry closed the gap between our bodies and kissed me softly, trailing down my chest. Once he got down to my underwear he slid it off. He looked back up at me and laughed when he saw that I had already thrown my bra to the floor. He stepped out of his boxers and crawled back on top of me. While he worked on opening the condom I sat up and sealed my lips around his large length. Oh how I missed taking it all in. I love when he's on his knees. I always look up and watch as he throws his head back.
Shortly after he opened the condom I released from him and laid down. He wrapped the condom around himself and checked for rips before laying on top of me.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked between kisses. I do want it but I am nervous.
"Yeah, I'm just hesitant."
"Baby if you want to stop tell me now. I won't be able to just stop once I'm inside of you," I giggled. He's desperate.
Instead of responding I reached below and grasped onto his length. I rubbed it around my sex and we both moaned together. I removed my hand and let him slide in easy. It hurt almost as bad as the first time. I guess since we hadn't had sex in a while I tightened back up.
"Fuck, you are so fucking tight," he hovered over me and started slowly moving further in. Eventually he sped up and it felt so good. His hips were in sync with mine and I could feel myself become more wet each and every second.
He wrapped his left arm under my lower back and pulled me towards him and leaned the rest of his weight on his right elbow. I wrapped my legs around his torso tightly and every once and a while tightened even more. My fingers ran up and down his chest until they eventually held onto the curls that I missed so much.
My climax is so close, so very close and he could tell as he continued faster.
"Scream for me baby," I laughed, does he not realize we're in Zayn's house? "I mean, don't literally scream, just..." his words trailed as he filled inside of me. I bit into my lip feeling my orgasm hit. He continued thrusting his hips and held onto my waist. Harry wouldn't leave me hanging like that, he won't stop until I feel good.
Harry's Point of View
"I don't want you to leave," Alyssa buried her head against my chest as we stood in front of her door. It feels so odd not being able to walk in. I wonder what my room looks like now, I wonder if they've already filled it with other things.
"I don't want to leave either but I'm sure we can hang out tomorrow," that's another downfall. I can't just wake up and see her on the weekends, we have to plan it out.
"Promise?"
"I'll text you pretty girl," I smiled and connected our lips.
"Hey Harry,"
"Hmm?" I hummed against her lips until she pulled away.
"I got into the university," she smiled and I tried but I'm in so much shock I'm speechless. I picked her up and twirled her in a circle before kissing her even more.
"That's great baby! What did your parents say?"
"I haven't told them yet," both of our smiles disappeared. What if they say no? I decided staying strong for her would be better so I smiled and kissed her nose.
"Well, tell them tomorrow so we can start packing you up."
She giggled again and unlocked her door, "goodnight Harry Styles."
"Goodnight Alyssa my girl White," I winked and we dimpled each other like we used to.
She slowly shut the door and waved as I got back into Niall's french fry smelling car.
Today Dr. Asshole gave me this journal to write in. He knows how much I love to write and decided I need to keep a journal....even though I already do. This one is for my issues but aren't all journals for issues? I mean, journals or diaries are for you to talk to yourself without being labeled crazy. Anyway, today I'm supposed to talk about what makes me happy and I can't say Harry. So I'm going to start of by saying that Harry makes me happy. There. Watcha gonna do Dr. Asshole? God, I'm glad he doesn't read this. Okay, for real. This may take a while but this is what makes me happy:
Rhylie. Even though it's super sad I'm happy to know Harry and I created him together. And even though he past away I still feel like he's kicking inside of me. It's the weirdest thing but I know what I feel and I love it.
Marilyn. Marilyn makes me happy just by talking to her. She could say 'fuck' and I'll smile. Whoops...I'm not supposed to curse in this journal....
Reading. Reading makes me happy because it takes me into a different world where adventures happen and I'm not involved. I'm simply the observer while reading.
Painting. Painting makes me happy because I can express everything through art. If I feel sad I can smear a piece of paper with blue and I'll feel better.
Salmon. This makes me happy because it tastes good.
Okay, well Harry is taking me out on a date tonight so I have to stop being all stupid now. I hate that he doesn't live with me but it's been about a week and I love being able to see him at school. I've never smiled so much or had something to look forward to when I get to school. I've never been more thrilled to get up in the morning. Okay, bye for real!
I closed my journal and hopped in the shower quickly, though shaving my legs slowed me down. We're going to dinner and a movie as if we just started dating. It's our six month anniversary and it feels so good. I can't wait to tell him I got into the universities in England on top of everything else.
Even though Harry's moved out I feel just the same, maybe even happier. Not because he's gone but because I have something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning.
I heard the doorbell ring and butterflies began swarming. It's just Harry but this is our first "date". My dad will open the door and he'll come in and wait for me. I've never had this before, never.
I finished curling the ends of my hair and pulled my new, gray sweater over my head. My dad called for me to come downstairs so I quickly slipped on my black vans and took a breath.
You can do this, I thought.
I peeked down the stairs and no one was there. I guess my dad took Harry to the living room. When I walked in they were talking and I could tell Harry looked on edge but my dad acted like he normally does around Harry and they just spoke of sports until I walked in of course. They both looked at me and stood. My face lit up as I saw him looking absolutely stunning. All he had to do was put on a plaid shirt and fix up his beautiful curls and he could capture any girl. I just happen to be the lucky one.
"Hi," I managed to get out as he took in my company.
"Hi," his gaze probably looked similar to mine until it was broken from my dad.
"Okay, I need you back by one o'clock. So dinner, movie and your friends house?"
"Mhmm," I nodded, trying to hide my excitement. I haven't been able to hang out with Harry all week outside of school and it's been killing me.
"Okay, be safe," he kissed me on the forehead and nodded at Harry. Our goodbyes were said and we left.
Harry's Point of View
I rang the doorbell which felt quite odd considering this was my home for almost eight months. Jack opened the door and I tried to smile but he still scares me. I guess he caught my feelings so he smiled and led me to the living room.
"It's odd ringing the doorbell, isn't it?" he chuckled as if everything was normal.
"Yeah, just a little," we sat down and he continued on about the football game that was on. Soccer that is. He called for Alyssa and that's when he focused all of his attention on me.
"I'm going to give you this talk like I would to any other boy who would be taking my daughter out. She's my baby Harry, she's my little girl and I don't want you to hurt her," sure he has the twins but they aren't his blood, they're just his step children, "I don't want you having sex and I want her home by one tonight. I know you guys share friends so have fun but not too much fun."
As he spoke I just continuously nodded my head. He's very blunt, that's for sure. We heard footsteps and turned round to find Alyssa. She looks gorgeous. I can tell all of her clothes are new and I wonder if it's because of me? Regardless, she looks lovely.
"Hi," she said shyly. Her dimples were fully visible and I almost wish we had done this dating thing like this from the beginning. Sure we hung out but it was never like an actual date where I pick her up; now with Niall's car.
"Hi," I responded just as shy.
Her dad spoke a few more words and then we left. I took her hand in mine and led her to the passenger door. Before I had the chance to open the door she turned towards me and kissed me, holding my face in the palm of her hands. I took her waist and pulled it towards me, resting my hands on her lower back.
"I missed you so much," she said against my lips. I laughed with happiness.
"I miss you too," I helped her in and we drove. Her hand is just as smooth as before and I made sure to hold it the whole time, never letting go. Instead of silence we talked all about our week and what we did when we weren't at school. It's weird how much different our conversation is now that we don't live together. She's able to tell me all the shit that goes down at her house and I'm able to tell her how stupid Niall is when no one else is around. This thing we have, this living apart seems to be making us stronger. As much as I want to live with her again, to sleep with her, and hold her in my arms, I can live with this until we graduate.
After dinner and a cheesy romance which made both of us cry we drove over to Zayn's house with more conversation.
"Did you go shopping?"
"Yeah, my mom and I went on a big shopping spree," she played with my curls as I drove and told me all about their trip. I like that they're getting along. This therapy seems to be working.
"And I went to the shooting range with my dad yesterday, it was so much fun," I sighed. I think she went to the shooting range with Liam one time, "hey! She slapped my arm, "enough of that. We can go too if you want," I hate that she can read my mind.
I looked at her smiling and put my eyes back on the road, "I love you Alyssa."
"I love you too."
Alyssa's Point of View
"How is it not living with him?" Perrie asked as her and El threw question after question.
"It's not as bad as I thought. I do miss sleeping with him though."
They both awed and I giggled. Only a few more months. Unfortunately he's going home but it's okay, I'll be over there soon enough and we'll be together again. I searched the room for Harry as Perrie and El drank some more. I found him talking with Liam and Louis but I want him to myself. I haven't had sex with him since before Christmas.
I left the girls alone and wrapped my arms around his waist. We both decided we wouldn't be drinking tonight; I haven't been up to it since I found out about Rhylie and Harry is driving.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah," he opened his arm for me to lean back into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. I let them continued talking for a few more minutes and then Harry pulled me to the side.
"I miss you," I whispered against his ear. When I pulled away he ran his hand through his thick curls and bit his bottom lip.
"Are you suggesting we-" I stopped him with a kiss and we continued. We eventually stopped to look around and found nobody. The stairs were close so we snuck up and found the guest bedroom. He locked the door behind us and I was laid on the bed gently. I want this to be romantic and very careful.
"Do you have a condom?" I felt him nod his head as he continued kissing me and pulled his wallet out of his jeans. Without any foreplay we began undressing each other. Just thinking about what is about to happen made me sigh.
When we were only in our underwear Harry closed the gap between our bodies and kissed me softly, trailing down my chest. Once he got down to my underwear he slid it off. He looked back up at me and laughed when he saw that I had already thrown my bra to the floor. He stepped out of his boxers and crawled back on top of me. While he worked on opening the condom I sat up and sealed my lips around his large length. Oh how I missed taking it all in. I love when he's on his knees. I always look up and watch as he throws his head back.
Shortly after he opened the condom I released from him and laid down. He wrapped the condom around himself and checked for rips before laying on top of me.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked between kisses. I do want it but I am nervous.
"Yeah, I'm just hesitant."
"Baby if you want to stop tell me now. I won't be able to just stop once I'm inside of you," I giggled. He's desperate.
Instead of responding I reached below and grasped onto his length. I rubbed it around my sex and we both moaned together. I removed my hand and let him slide in easy. It hurt almost as bad as the first time. I guess since we hadn't had sex in a while I tightened back up.
"Fuck, you are so fucking tight," he hovered over me and started slowly moving further in. Eventually he sped up and it felt so good. His hips were in sync with mine and I could feel myself become more wet each and every second.
He wrapped his left arm under my lower back and pulled me towards him and leaned the rest of his weight on his right elbow. I wrapped my legs around his torso tightly and every once and a while tightened even more. My fingers ran up and down his chest until they eventually held onto the curls that I missed so much.
My climax is so close, so very close and he could tell as he continued faster.
"Scream for me baby," I laughed, does he not realize we're in Zayn's house? "I mean, don't literally scream, just..." his words trailed as he filled inside of me. I bit into my lip feeling my orgasm hit. He continued thrusting his hips and held onto my waist. Harry wouldn't leave me hanging like that, he won't stop until I feel good.
Harry's Point of View
"I don't want you to leave," Alyssa buried her head against my chest as we stood in front of her door. It feels so odd not being able to walk in. I wonder what my room looks like now, I wonder if they've already filled it with other things.
"I don't want to leave either but I'm sure we can hang out tomorrow," that's another downfall. I can't just wake up and see her on the weekends, we have to plan it out.
"Promise?"
"I'll text you pretty girl," I smiled and connected our lips.
"Hey Harry,"
"Hmm?" I hummed against her lips until she pulled away.
"I got into the university," she smiled and I tried but I'm in so much shock I'm speechless. I picked her up and twirled her in a circle before kissing her even more.
"That's great baby! What did your parents say?"
"I haven't told them yet," both of our smiles disappeared. What if they say no? I decided staying strong for her would be better so I smiled and kissed her nose.
"Well, tell them tomorrow so we can start packing you up."
She giggled again and unlocked her door, "goodnight Harry Styles."
"Goodnight Alyssa my girl White," I winked and we dimpled each other like we used to.
She slowly shut the door and waved as I got back into Niall's french fry smelling car.
Notes
So, my view on Harry moving out was seen as a good thing (in my opinion). I love that they live together but now they can do things like normal couples as you can see in this chapter! Any comments? You guys blew up my comments before and I loved it so much! Can we do that again? And maybe get to 200 votes? I know that's only two more but that would be a HUGE accomplishment for me! As well as 300 subscribers!
Mwahhh :)
@Hannah!
I'm not sure yet! I'll have to see where it goes because it will be a little different.
5/26/15