Through The Dark(Niall Horan)
It's been four months since everything happened. I wish I could say I was happy again, but I'm not. I mean, I guess I'm getting there. I started to leave the house again, but once Niall and I got swarmed with paparazzi asking about what happened with me, we decided that wasn't the best idea. Sometimes he has to leave me home alone, that's the worst. I don't sleep when he's gone, even if it's for a weekend. I double check the doors and don't open the curtains. I guess you could say I'm overreacting, but you also didn't experience what I did.
I've never been so terrified in my entire life. I've never felt so dirty, so used. Some days if I let my thoughts get to me I start to scratch at my skin, wanting to get it all off. I still don't believe Niall deserves me, or that I deserve him. I know he's trying, but I can tell my actions are starting to get to him. He doesn't try to get me to talk anymore, he rarely talks to me at all. Although, he never leaves the room without telling me he loves me.
I think that made things easier. I know I didn't always reply to him, actually I can't remember the last time that I did...but I did love him. I loved him more than words could describe. I hope he knows that..I'm sure he does. I know he loves me too. If he didn't love me, he would've left a long time ago. I was lucky to have him. I was thankful to have him. I just wish I could get myself out of this hole and start being happy again. Start being the girl he fell in love with.
Maybe one day.
I was awoken by Alis, screaming at me. “Teagan Elizabeth Taylor! Get your ass out of that bed right now.”
I sat up in bed. “What the hell? How did you even get in here?” I looked to my left, realizing Niall was gone. Bastard.
“Does that even really matter?” Alis snapped, pulling my arm to get me out of the bed. “C'mon.” She pulled harder.
I tried to get my arm out of her grip. “What the fuck are you doing, Alis? Get off.”
“I'm sick and fucking tired of Niall just letting you mope around like a baby. You are almost twenty years old Teagan, you need to start acting like it.” She yanked me out of the bed and pushed me into the bathroom.
Her words set me off. “Mope around? You think I'm just choosing to feel like this all the time? You weren't raped and beaten for three days, Alis.” I snapped back at her.
Alis narrowed her eyes at me. “No, I wasn't.” She admitted. “But I also know that if someone doesn't push you, you're going to live the rest of your life in this room and that's not right. I know what happened to you isn't easy to get over, but if you don't try, you're going to be miserable. Stop letting Jim ruin your life. That's exactly what he wanted. Get up, shower, put some make up on and go out and have some fun. Go live your life instead of laying around in some room letting some sick bastard get his way.”
I shuddered at the sound of his name, but Alis was right. Would I tell her that? No. I bit my lip, looking down as she walked over to the shower and started the water. “Take a shower and get dressed, we're going out and having a girls day. Even if I have to pull you out of this house by your hair.”
There was no use in protesting, maybe a girls day would be nice. I shrugged and walked towards the shower, beginning to undress as Alis headed back towards the bedroom. I had to admit, I really did miss hanging out with Alis. I missed hanging out with everyone, even Paul. Niall had put so much of his career on hold for me, well as much as he could and I couldn't even say “I love you, too.” God I'm awful.
Once I finished getting dressed, I pulled my hair into a messy bun, I hadn't realized how long it had gotten. I should really go get it trimmed, maybe even color it. Could I even pull off a different hair color? I guess we would find out.
I walked out of the bathroom, searching for Alis. I found her sitting at the counter with Niall. I was still mad at him for letting her in. Bumhole. “So where are we going, anyways?” I asked, going to the fridge for a bottle of water.
“I figured I'd let you decide.” Alis smiled after applying another coat of chapstick to her pink lips.
“Back to bed it is.” I smirked, spinning on my heels.
“Ha. You're funny.” Alis fake laughed before glaring at me. “I figured you'd say something like that, and that's why I planned a spa day for us. Courtesy of Mr. Harold Styles.” Alis smiled as she held up Harry's credit card.
I raised a brow. “Why on earth did Harry give you one of his credit cards? Doesn't he know you at all?”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Alis scoffed.
“It has a limit.” Niall chimed in, she punched his arm. “Ow! I'm just telling the truth. We all know you blow money faster than Kris Jenner.”
“Don't you dare compare me to that creature!” Alis huffed, he really pushed a nerve on that one. Probably because Harry was rumored to have cheated on her with Kendall, or whatever her name was.
I couldn't help but chuckle at the two of them, something I hadn't done in really long time. I guess they noticed too, because the room fell quiet. “What?” I questioned, taking a sip of my water.
Niall looked like he had seen a ghost. “It's just nice to hear you laugh..” a small smile crept across his face.
I smiled, again something I didn't do often. I walked over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.” I whispered into his ear, just for him to hear.
I don't think I've ever seen Niall smile so big. He snaked his arm around my waist and kissed my neck, near my ear. “I love you, Teagan.” he pulled away. “Now go spend some time with Alis before she starts to get jealous.”
“It's not like you haven't had her all to yourself for the last four months...” Alis smirked over at Niall.
I rolled my eyes. “Let's just go.” I walked over to Alis who linked her arm with mine.
“See ya later, Horan!” She cheered, waving at him with her free hand, skipping out to her car with me.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. A girls day with Alis could be just what I needed.
Filler chapter, to open up the events of the next chapter.
I hope you enjoy!
I should be updating later today, if I have enough time to write.
I'm sorry I don't update every day anymore, I got a promotion at work so I've been working 5-6 days a week, not much time to write. But I'm trying!
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