I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I crash my mouth on to his, instantly wrapping my fingers in to his hair. He's stuck in shock for a moment but his mouth starts moving eagerly the next. I pull his hair lightly and he moans, grabbing my hips, he drags me in to his place and slams the door, I shove his back on to the wall and attempt to put my mouth back on his until his catches my waist, holding me back.

"What's going on here?" He breathes. I shrug and try again to reattach our lips. he holds me at arms length away. "What happened between you and Harry?" he pressed, a sad look on his face. I slapped his arm away and pressed my body to his but didn't kiss him.

"We're done." I say flatly. He huffs and leans his head on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Lily." He breathes, kissing my hot skin lightly with his with lips. I shake my head as in it didn't matter, picked his face up and reattached my desperate lips.

"It's fine, kiss me." I beg. He stare at me like I just grew three heads.

"L.." He trails off. I don't let him talk, instead I press my lips to his, sucking his bottom lip in to my mouth gently, taking my hand down his abs and over his length, I starting palming him and he groans. But after a few seconds he shakes his head again, pushing me away. "I don't think this is a good idea.." He mumbles softly, cupping my cheek.

"Please, Lois please. I know you seriously aren't rejecting me right now. Please, I am so distraught. I just want you. All of you. Don't leave me in the cold!" I beg him, fighting the tears.

He takes my hand and huffs, leading me to his bed room. I cling to the back of his shirt. Once we reach his room he sits on the edge of the bed and I straddle his lap, reconnecting our mouths.

"No, baby." He says softly, pulling me off of him.

Hurt and rejection flood through me. I snap my mouth shut and whip my head to the side so he wont see the embarrassment. but he knows me to well, Louis wraps his arms around me and pulls our chests together, ignoring my protests and smacks.

"It's not that I don't want to. I do. Believe me I do." He tilts my head up to see him and kisses my forehead, studying me closely as if i might just crack any second. "I don't wan tot be your rebound."

Damn.

I didn't....

I FUCKING SUCK

"Louis, oh god... it's not really like that..." I mumble, trying get him to see way with me. Was he a rebound? No. No he wasn't. I knew I had loved him for a long time. Now was the only apt moment for em to act upon my desire for Louis Tomlinson.

"You don't have to explain... I get it, I really do. But if I sleep with you.... I have this sneaky feeling it will just be you and him again. And I don't want the heart break.. " he tells me sweetly, wiping the smeared mascara off of my cheeks.

"Lou, please. I didn't come hear because I wanted to fuck Harry over. You're not a rebound. I came here before I even knew I was coming here, because you are always here for me!" The tears start falling and I cling on to his hand, I really need him to believe me. "And now. I can tell you. I can admit to myself and you that I have feelings for you. And if it hurts Harry then I'm glad!" I cry, my body hiccuping slightly. His arms constrict me again.

"I know that baby. I do." he coos, rubbing my back, I shake my head.

"It's not OK." I say, sniffling the tears back.

"Yes it is!" He reassures. I swallow the tears back, doing my best to regain my composure. I look up at him, pitying him, the mess that is me. I shake my head and take his hands in mine. "

"Kiss me, Louis." I whisper.

"L.." He warns.

"Please!?" I beg him, I feel myself slipping down to my knees on the floor in front of him. He watches me uneasily as I kneel in front of him, putting my hands on the tops of his thighs. He strokes my chin and cheek.

"What did he do to you, Lily.." He whispers so soft I'm not sure it's for me. I gently take his hand and run his fingers along my bottom lip ans shiver from his feather light touch. I kiss the tip of his finger and watch him staring down at me full of lust.

Te next thing I knew he pulled me up and I eagerly attached our lips together. His hands raced up and down my sides and gently massaged my inner, upper thighs. I moaned in to his mouth and it encouraged him slip his tongue in to my mouth, massaging it gently with mine as he hovered over me. I find the hem of his shirt and rip it over his head, rolling so I'm sitting on his chest. His hands find my ass. I lean down and kiss down his chest as his hands wind in my hair. I trace my tongue up the lines of one of his tattoos on his side. He hisses and pulls our mouths back together. I fight with my top, trying to rid myself of it.

His fingers easily wrestle the zipper down the front down before pulling off of my shoulder, since I wasn't wearing a bra with that top I blush slightly. No one has really seen me besides Harry. Louis sits up and wraps his arms around my waist and leans his forehead on mine.

"You're so beautiful, L." he breathes. I blush again and reconnect our lips. His mouth plays with mine while his hands trail up to my breasts, massaging and squeezing lightly, he rolls us again so he's on top. I tug his sweats down and he does the same with my leggings. I can feel his hard on as our mouths reattach. I close my eyes and lean my head back when his mouth moves to my chest.

But a pair of what should be blue eyes in my mind are replaced with green ones.

I gasp and open my eyes, but I can still see him leaning down, crying in front of me, begging for me on his knees...

"You OK?" Louis breaths, coming back up to my face.

Do not cry.

I nod my head once.

He cheated on you, Lilian. He doesn't want you. You don't betray the ones you love. I pep myself back up as I pull Lou's boxers down, I glance down at him. He's damn big. I swallow but I can feel myself getting more and more guilty.

"Do you want this?" Lou suddenly asks, cupping my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

Did I?

"Lou -" My voice cracks and before I can make another sound he is wrapping me in his always protective arms. I'm started by his lack of hesitation. But I don't have time to think because the tears start flowing. He slips his boxers back on himself and wraps the blanket tight around us as I sob like an idiot in to his chest.

Notes

angels, big yellow taxi, don't dream its over, sweet disposition, you light me up.

best songs ever btw.