I Understand. An AU/punk story.

The elevator door chimes, I pull myself off the floor slowly, fighting the urge to just lay there and cry. My muscles ache up my right leg as I make my way out of the elevator, I hit the cool air outside my place and realize. I have no where to go. Absolutely no where. I sniffle, wiping my nose I sit down on the stone steps and pull my cellphone out, finding the number I want I call it.

"Hello?"

"Hey.."

"Lily? Hey, did you get home OK? I hope Harry wasn't too difficult..."

"Um, Yeah, it got bad..." I break down right then and there..

"I'm so sorry, hun... Can I do something?"

"Yeah, can you come get me?"

"Of course."

-

Martin opens his door and lets me walk in to his living room, leading me to the couch we flop down next to each other.

"I don't know what I'm doing.." I say breathy. And I don't.. If Harry loved me, then why did he treat me the way he did? If I loved him, then why did I always feel I had to run away from him, and to another mans company. Why didn't I trust him enough to sleep with him? I didn't get it... And it hurt not to understand something I thought I understood more than anything else.

"Well, I thought you love Harry!"

"I thought I did, I mean... I think I do.. I'm sure I do......He's just so... so!"

"Difficult?"

"Yes!" I breathe out. He frowns and puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing.

"I can't tell you what to do about Harry.. Only you can decide that. But you should know, I think you need to put yourself first." He says, he was young, but Martin knew his stuff.

"Yeah..."

"Just camp out here and tomorrow you can't decide. No point in confronting him now..... you're both mad." But Harry wasn't mad, he was hurt. I knew he always felt like he screwed things up, and yeah, sometimes he did. But I did too. That was a gut shot and I took it mercilessly

"You sure that's OK?" I frown.

"Yeah! Of course, although.... you're going to have to make a fort with me..." A devilish smile crosses his face.

"What do you mean? Like a pillow fort?" Whats this kid talking about?!

"All pretty, sad, girls must make a fort when they spend the night." He smiles and laughs. I laugh and shake my head.

"What do you mean spend the night? Aren't you like twelve? How many pretty girls could you have possible had?" I laugh, mussing his hair. He smacks my hand and gets some pillows and blankets.

"I'm not twelve! And quite a few actually, none as pretty as you though." He adds nonchalantly. OK..... I'm not sure what to say to that. "C'mon, lets build this bitch!" He says enthusiastically. I roll my eyes but help him.

He leads me to his room, we pin the blankets in his mattress and slant the other side up in his dresser drawers. Add some pillows and then he laughs and runs to his closet, pulling out some twinkly lights.

"I am a genius!" He muses, plugging them in and pinning them up with some tape, we turn them on and then turn the lights off. It's so beautiful...

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"Building a good fort always gives me a happy feeling." He says, crawling in it. I follow him and we lay side by side , just talking for a long time. And it feels nice. It feels fun.

Martin makes me feel like I'm in high school again. Not the high school in this city though. The one where I lived when my dad was alive. The one with all of my friends. Where I ran track everyday, impressing everyone who watched my speed. When after I walked back to my home, the place where my dad would come home to, and cook a big diner. Where my mom would actually look and love me and wouldn't drink her problems away... But I knew that place was gone... Sold to another family, another dream of a girl or boy. A happy family.

It was so strange thinking about it. They were probably all peacefully sleeping in my home. A little girl or boy in my bedroom, two parents cuddling. And here I was.. Heartbroken and alone besides this young boy who lays next to me on the floor. They would wake in the morning, not concerned about the kind of punks that I have become. They would get up, get ready for work with out a care in the world while my world moves as slow as a snail besides me.

I hoped that they would hold on to each other. And love each other. Appreciate themselves. Because family are the only ones who are required to love you. And I do believe my mom loves me, shes just confused, broken after the love her life was cheated his life. And I know my dad loves me and watches over me everyday.. I can feel him in my heart.

I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Hey! Whats wrong?" Martin quickly leans over me. I shake my head and smile.

"Nothing, really. I'm not sad... I'm happy... I am.." I give him a weak laugh. Martin gives me a strange look but nods. I sigh and stretch my arms above my head, feeling a strange part of peace inside of me.

We fall asleep next to each other. Enjoying the company of someone who granted a second of peace to our young and troubled minds.

-

"Get up, lazy bunny!" Martin laughs, flicking my nose. I smack his fingers away.

"Grown ups like to sleep, little boy!" I chuckle, rolling over. "Ouch, damn it!" I yelp, rolling over on to my bad knee, pain spread up my leg.

"You, OK?"

"NO, my knee hearts like a mother trucker!" I groan, sitting up. He helps me crawl out and stand up, once out, he puts an arm around my waist.

"You ready?"

"For wha -"

Martin knocks my legs out from under me and swings me up in to his arms. I yelp and claw in to his neck, Harry was the only one I trusted to that to me. I protest and smack him but he carries me with ease to the kitchen, placing me on the kitchen counter.

"What did you think I would drop you?" He chuckles, getting some ice from the freezer.

"Well, I didn't think you would be able to get me off the ground. He straightens up, turning to me he rolls his eyes, holds his arms out, and flexes his guns. I laugh. His muscles were there, but they were non existent next to Harry's.

"Oh shut up!" He laughs, chucking an ice cube at me. H comes to me and places the towel of ice on my knee. The swelling has gone down, but the color is just as bad, if not worse. I frown down at it. "It'll be OK. I'll put some wrap on it, just ice it a lot."

"Yes, sir." I mumble. He rolls his eyes.

-

"You sure you wanna face him yet?" Martin asks, we're parked outside of my place. I nod. I had to. I felt guilty and weird when we had these types if fights. "OK, well, text me if you need anything. OK?"

"Yeah, I will. Same for you. Thanks for the other night..... I really needed it." I tell him honestly, and I did...

"No problem, I did too." He smiles and puts his sunglasses on as I get out of his car. Driving off, I wave before going up to my apartment. Perri and Rae are painting their nails on the couch.

"Hey, guys.." I take a seat on the couch. "Listen, I'm really sorry about the other night... OK?" They look uneasily at each other..

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize. We were just worried is all. You left your cell so we couldn't call you." Rae says, finishing her pinkie nail.

"Yeah, Harry was real upset..." Perri adds.

"I know.... is he in my room?" I ask hopefully.

"No... he went home." Rae says sadly... Oh.... I feel instantly sad, having to go to my room by myself. "Go get your gold sparkly polish and paint your nails, we're going to the beach."

"Really?" I feel instantly better, the last time i was at the beach Harry and I got back - ..... oh yeah.... Never mind, I feel sad again. I nod and go to my room.

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(Never showed you guys.)

Getting my polish basket I leave my empty room.

Notes

beaacchhh scene!?!?!