I Understand. An AU/punk story.

We're soaking in the bath together, me in between his legs, I'm leaning on his chest with his arms around me.

"You're my girl, aren't you?" He asks suddenly.

"Yes, I am." I say with a smile in my voice.

"You're really beautiful too." He adds. I frown.

"Some would say."

"Everyone says. Especially me." I smile and turn so I can peck his chin.

I close my eyes and enjoy soaking with him, Harry squeezes me tighter.

"Lilian?"

"Harry?"

"Can I ask you something.. and you not get mad at me?" I grow rigid. I didn't like these types of conversation but I nod yes.

"Why don't you want to have sex with me?" How the fuck do I answer that? I sigh and pull myself from his arms, stand up and hold my hand out for him. He has a confused look but he takes it and gets out, pulling the drain and hands me my towel. We pat ourselves dry and as he pulls his boxers on. I pull my silk robe on.

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We go to the bedroom and flop on our stomachs next to each other.

"It's not that I don't want to..." I mumble, he props his head up on his elbow and watches intently, pushing my hair from my face.

"Then what?" I can tell he's not just asking because he wants sex, hes asking because he generally wants to know if hes doing something wrong to me...

"I just... I don't know. Guys are mean." I give a bitter laugh. "I don't want to get hurt again, and we're always fighting.. I just think that maybe .... just maybe... I don know.."

"That I'll change my mind?" I nod my head softly. He pulls me to him. "That's not ever going to happen." His green eyes are so bright. So sure of what hes saying. But there is absolute no way anyone can tell if anyone else is telling the truth. "I'm not Trevor. And I'm not Jeff. And I'm not Louis. I'm Harry. And I love you more than anyone could dream of. And I'm not going any where." I look at him, his down turned mouth on his perfect face.

"I know...." He nods and kisses my mouth.

"Good."

-
Everyone in line in the bathroom
Trying to get love in the bathroom
We all so turned up yeah, getting turn up yeah, yeah e ah a
so ladda de da de
We like to party, dancin' with Miley
Doing whatever we want
This is our house
This is our roof

I groan and quickly grab my phone as my Miley ringtone blares.

"Hello?" I mumble, pressing accept on the call.

"Hellllo Is this Lily?" Someone slurs.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"This is your best friend Lou!" He screams. I look over to Harry whos still sleeping and make my way to the bathroom, trying not to wake him.

"What do you wan't" I snap.

"To know why you're with Harry. He's a meanie bo beanie." OK so he's completely shit faced.

"Call me when you're sober."

"NO I MISS YOU!" I wince and plug my ear and his voice.

"Shut up and I'll talk to you!"

"OK..... how are you? Will you come visit me?" I groan and rub my temples. "Don't give me that angry stufff." He whines.

"Louis, do you need something? I'm tired..."

"Yes I need you to come home to me."

"Wheres Mckenzie?"

Silence.

"Don't be like that baby."

"You know what, shut up. I'm sick of this! I'm tired and YOU got a girlfriend before I got with Harry."

"L, I'm sorry...." His voice breaks my heart but before I can reply my phones ripped from my hands.

"Fuck off Louis." Harry snaps before ending the call. Damn.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you..." He nods and takes my hand, dragging me back to bed. Keeping my phone on his side of the bed. I curl up to him and fall asleep.

-----------

It's a week and a half later since Louis called. Needless to say, he hasn't stopped calling.... It pisses Harry off like crazy, especially when he calls at night when he's drunk. I personally don't understand what the hell the boy is thinking, messing with Harry, but he keeps on keeping on. Harry goes to work every night now. He comes home really tired and I don't blame him. He has had to do a lot of work.

I have been running with the dogs every night and I can feel my old running muscles hardening again. The dogs can barely keep up with me! I visit Martin everyday and we have gotten to be real good friends. Rae and Niall are already out of the hospital but Martin still has a few days.

It's a Wednesday, and Harry usually spends every night at my place so it's difficult for him since he has to go to his place every morning before work to get clean clothes so I decided to go and get him a bunch of stuff and surprise him with a drawer and space empty at my place since he hates sleeping alone now.

I took the key from his link and let myself in. Going to his room I grab his duffel bag and grab a bunch of his boxers and shirts, shoes, and jeans. As well as his hair gel stuff and an extra razor since he has been getting some stubble.

I open his night stand and look for anything else and that's when I find it...

His box of condoms....

But that's not what gets me... I knew he had them....

Its the few that are just open foil packages.....

My whole world comes down on top of me.

No NO NO NO NO He wouldn't ever. He just wouldn't. You know that! Stop, right now. It's not happening. He's not cheating you.

I count the empty packages... Only three. There were times when he opened them with me and never used one. Actually three or four times...

Calm down. It's OK..... Harry's not a cheater. He wouldn't. I bite my bottom lip, close the drawer and leave the apartment, walking back to mine I unpack his stuff in the two empty drawers, and an empty shelf and meet Perri, Lauren, and Rae in the living room.

We're planning on going down to the Bowling Alley to see the boys tonight. We get ready but I can't stop thinking about the condoms...

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-

Pulling up to the Bowling Alley the girls run to the door laughing and squealing, ready to party but I walk at a normal pace. I mean, of course I loved Harry. And I did believe he loved me....

But I wasn't putting out...

And there were tons of girls that were more than willing....

It was a terrible realization. Once I reach the door we all walk side by side inside. But when we get inside, the whole upstairs is empty? No one bowling or drinking? Why were they here is it was closed?

"The fuck?" Perri asks. We all look around like derps, looking for someone and then we here music coming from the basement. Perri storms away from us, the fearless one of us all. "Come on!" She yells to us as we stand there frozen.

We go to the basement and find one of the side doors cracked a bit. Perri throws it open and everyone jumps.

We all have a stand still until the girls scan the room....

Harry and Zayn are sitting on the couch in front of a coffee table, Niall in the chair next to them. Liam leans awkwardly against the wall to the left. A few other gang members are sitting around the coffee table where Harry's head is leaned on.

Where five white lines of powder are being snorted.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Perri screams. Niall, Zayn, and Harry all shoot up. faces of horror.

They were ALL doing Cocaine......

What. The. Fuck.

"Baby -"

"DON'T YOU BABY ME, YOU PROMISED ME, ZAYN!'' Perri screams at him, already on the brink of tears, she turns and runs back upstairs.

Rae shakes her head at the boys and races after her. Liam, the only innocent one here, frowns and goes to Lauren, pulling her away. Leaving me staring at Harry. White powder still on his face.

Before he can open his mouth I turn and leave. I don't know what to say or think.

He follows me but I don't turn to him. I don't cry. I don't even know if I'm mad. Just confused.... I knew and was OK with him smoking weed... but this?? This was crazy?

Perri is sobbing in the drivers seat, Rae in the passenger seat. Liam and Lauren in the back. Zayn is leaning through the drivers window trying to talk to her. Niall is standing outdside the car with Rae trying to talk to her but she just keeps yelling at him, when she sees me coming she gets in the car. I hop in the back, forcing Lauren in the middle.

Perri flips Zayn off and speeds away, screeching the tires. Shes crying so hard I swear we're going to crash. Rae makes her pull over and we get out and meet her in the front of the car.

"Hey, it's OK. Stop bae." I mumble, pulling her in to a hug.

"You don't get it! He fucking lied to me! He relapsed he promised he wasn't doing it anymore!" It clicks then.... Zayn got this all started. Zayn has been doing it for a while..

It takes her a good while to calm down, even then I drive everyone home. Dropping off Lauren and Liam at their place first.

"I'm real sorry, ladies..They told me not to say anything." He says sadly. Rae nods and smiles but Perri can't find herself able to talk.

I bring Rae and Perri to our place.

"Can I use your car?" She nods. I don't drive to the Bowling Alley though... Instead I go to the hospital... My emotions are starting to spill over as I jog towards Martins room.

If I didn't know him well enough to see he was an avid drug user, how could I really know he wasn't cheating? How could I know anything about him?

I run in to Martins room and he jumps, his eletric blue eyes scan my body. Obviously confused about my party dress.

"Whats wrong?" He asks, outraged at my tears.

I go to his side chair and drop my head on his bed next to him.

"Everything!" I cry.

Notes

welll fudge the guys!!!!!! part one is up. Go subscribe. Love you<3