I Understand. An AU/punk story.

Harry's P.O.V.

As Louis stumbles on his words, Perri's eyes turn to slits as she glares at me.

I glare back. She mouths 'fuck off.'

I mouth 'no.'

Her gaze becomes so intense I cower slightly.

But i'm leaving. I deserve to see this. I'm not leaving for their benefit. I'm going to watch this, fuck her if she wants something else.

Lily's P.O.V.

"Lily, it's not what it seems like.." He breathes.

I swear to god it takes everything in me not to throw up right then and there.

I gasp and my hands go to my mouth.

He slept with her.

I'm at a loss for words.

"H - how..... I...." I breathe, tears pricking my eyes. I shake my head in defeat and pull at my roots.

He talks at me but I don't listen. When he reaches for my arm, Perri slaps it away and drags me away.

"LILY, WAIT!" He calls, following me. I shake my head and hold my chest with my arms in attempt to keep myself from falling a part.

I swallow the tears and screams dying to break through my lips.

He calls for me again and again but I don't listen and I don't fight back.

Perri ushers me in her car and closes my door, shoving Louis away who tries to open it. Adding a string of cuss words with the shove she goes to the drivers side.

Louis cusses and yells for me, pulling at his hair but my attention is drawn else where.

My eyes flick up the door of the Bowling Alley where I find Harry watching us.

A look of concentration on his face.

The engine starts.

His eyes meet mine.

I turn my head away and Perri speeds off.


She tries to get me to talk in the car but I just shake my head and keep swallowing the bile and tears.

I lost them both.

I drop my head in my palms and shake my head as if I could tell my brain no to keep making me see the stupid images of him leaving me there on that table. And to stop the image of Louis and Mckenzie.

Nothing that has happened tonight makes sense and I can not rap my brain around everything.

As we pull up to my place. Perri and I walk up to my room in silence. Once the door s open, I push past the dogs and flee to my room. Slamming and locking the door, meaning to escape from the world.

My body hiccups and gasps for air as I try to keep my cool.

To no avail.

MY eyes water and burn and I claw and wipe at them desperately, trying to keep the tears back as I pace the floor. Ignoring Perri's calls for me.

My knees feel weak so I just drop to the floor and sob like an insane person. I shriek and yell and curse in to my pitch black room.

"LILY OPEN THIS DOOR OR I'M GOING TO CALL SOMEONE!" Perri pounds on my door. I slap my jaw shut but can't stop the tears.

Soon she gives up and leaves, I hear her dial a number on her phone and yell in to it.

I hear Harry's name and it feels like I just swallowed rocks. Shes going to bring him here.

No no no. I can not see him. I need to get out of here and calm down.

Then I get a good ass idea.

A drink.


I need a fucking drink.

Swallowing the lump in my throat and blocking out Perri's yell I run to my closet and strip the clothes off my back. I need a release form this. I just need a freaking break from it all.

I don't want to feel the bitter sting or rejection and loss. I have lost enough in my lifetime and I refuse to feel any more of it.

Slipping on an appropriate party outfit

http://www.polyvore.com/forget_them/set?id=114124798

But I keep thinking four fucking words.

They. Don't. Want. Me.
Does anybody? Can I not have one fucking person in my life that leaves or is forced away form me???

My father, my mother, Rhonda, Aubrey, Jess, Louis, Harry.

Can I not have one person here to stay?

I break out in a sob and shove my door open. Perri is pacing in the living room, her head snaps up when she sees me and my outfit.

"Where are you going?" She asks, concern laced. I ignore her and rush past to the front door. "Lily, wait, Harry will be here in a few minutes. Please wait!"

"WHY DID YOU CALL HIM?!" I shriek , whipping around to face her. Her jaw drops in surprise as she searches for the right words. I don't wait for her to reply. Instead I whip around and storm out in to the empty hall way and rush to the elevator.

I know she's taking the stairs but I don't care.

Once the elevator beeps and opens in the lobby and I rush out the front doors of the buildings as a set of headlights get closer to the building. And I know their his.

I quickly go to the alley next to the huge stone building and duck down behind a bin.

The car screeches to a stop as Perri runs out the building.

"Why the fuck are you out here?" He snarls.

"She ran off!" Perri screams, turning around and looking down each side of the dark street.

"Are you fucking shitting me, she could be half way across town by now with how fast she runs!" He kicks the wheel of his car, and slaps the hood. I don't waste anymore time.

I turn around and every so quietly turn and run down the abandoned alley to the opposite side of the block. I run across the empty street, looking over my shoulder. No one follows. So I run through the next alley.

I repeat the process until I'm a good five or six blocks down, when I break my run down to an easy power walk. Calming my breath as I find the my destination.

The bar 'Oyster,' is pretty busy on a night like this so they won't be carding since I'm only 19.

I push past the many people in the smoky, and quiet bar. People play pool and some shitty club remake plays in the background.

I sit on the stool on the far corner of the bar and the man behind the think, dark wood comes up to me a few moments later.

His hair is black and cut short, his eyes a deep and dark blue. His feature nice but not Harry nice. Not Louis nice. Just hey, I'm a random dude, nice.

I glare at the wood.

Stop thinking about them.

"What can I get you, lovely?"

"Umm, just a few shots of whatever." I shrug in indifference.

"Friends coming? How many?" The words burn my insides.

"Nope. Just me. Try four."

"Ohh, all alone? A pretty thing like you?" I look up and meet his blue eyes as he clicks his tongue. "Guess that means you are in desperate need of some Tequila. It's a cure for heartbreak." He adds, a strange look of curiosity, kindness, and pity on his face.

"That'll do." I shrug and spin on my stool as he fetches my liquor.

Notes