I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I sat there dazed and confused with my dress still around my hips and my chest heaving as I calmed myself.

'This is the last time.'

'Ask Mckenzie.'

The words dig in to me harshly. They burrow down my throat and tunnel in to my heart.

Th realization slapping harshly in the mouth.

I just lost both of them.

Harry.

Gone.

Louis.

Gone.

I suck in a deep, throaty breath and my hands wind in to my hair mercilessly. Yanking on the roots.

'Hope you enjoyed it, babe.'

'You'll never feel this fire with anyone but me. We both know that.'

'I told you no more back and forth.'

I swallow the pain as his words stab in to my gut again and again.

He could not of meant that. There is no way in hell.

My breath hitches and my eyes burn. I try to speak to myself to calm my flying mind and rushing pulse but all that comes out is a strange gargle.

No. This is not happening.

Louis did not sleep with Mckenzie that night. There is no fucking way. He loves me. He does.... He would never.

Bitter pain and jealousy and sadness rush through and over me like a fire in hot panicky waves.

Another gargle is released.

I sure did it this time.

I sure as hell fucked it up this time.

My eyes start dripping before I have any say in it and I release a sob, not noticing the sound of footsteps pounding down the stairs, coming towards the conference room.

I slip off the table and clatter to my knees, my shaky hands covering my eyes as I sob in to my clammy hands.

I lost the two best things in my life.

I fucked it up this time.

The door swings open but I don't give a shit. I cry in to my hands like a fool.

"OH MY GOD, LILY!" A shrill of voice, belonging to Perri yells before she runs to me, wrapping her tiny arms around my waist. "Honey, whats wrong!" She says, obviously shocked about my current mental brake down.

"I-I ruined it. I F-fucking everything!" I sob in to her shoulder, getting her dress covered in my running makeup.

"Doll, whats wrong!" She hushes, smoothing my back.

I can't get Harry's touch off of my body and I can't get his words from my mind. The way his eyes were so cold to me as he left me on the table all alone.

"Ha -arry. H-he ...... We... Lo-ouis." I breathe, not sure how to get the words out. My body wracking in violent sobs. I shake my head and keep my eyes screwed shut tightly.

"Just breathe. It's OK!" She tries to comfort me, hugging me while I sob my eyes out.

I cry for a good twenty minutes on the floor of the conference room.

The words bombarding over me. His kiss scorching my lips. Louis's betrayal slashing my already frail heart.

"I'm going to go get Louis." She whispers as I finally calm myself down and lean off of her supportive arm.

"No!" I choke out, hiccuping on my breath. Her frown deepens.

"Harry?" She tries again. My pulse races as each of there names are given off.

"No!" I yell twice as loud, wrapping my arms tightly around myself.

Her face morphs with both confusion and sadness for her blatantly unstable best friend. With a shaky breath, I run my shaking hands through my frumpy hair. My makeup dripping my cheeks. My face bright red. My heart pounding in my chest.

I have never felt this so utterly defeated.

"Let's just go home, get off of this damn floor." She eyes me nervously and helps me to my feet. My knees shake as we walk arm in arm out of the room.

When we reach the main floor of the building, my tears are gone but the pain is not. It's fresh like a wound someone just covered in salt.

"I don't want to talk to either of them." I whisper to her. She looks at me and nods. Linking our elbows tighter together as we make our way to the crowd.

Keeping our heads down to avoid any unwanted attention. We're almost to the door when I hear his voice.

"L?" Louis calls. Perri cusses under her breath and hurries to the door. Zayn is leaning on the wall next to the glass exit and she quickly pulls us in fornt of him.

"I need to go. I'll call you. Keys?" She hurries. I feel Zayn's gaze on me so I keep my head bowed. He pecks her lips and hands her her purse he was holding, containing her keys and phone and such.

"Lily!" Louis calls again, his voice closer as we make our way out. It's dark and I wan nothing more than to disappear in to the night air.

harry's P.O.V.

I lean against the hard ass wall next to the exit smoking a fag. Attempting to clam myself.

I just don't even fucking know what to think.

I know that was a cunt, ass move but kissing him here was too.

Fuck relationships and fuck -

My train of thought stopped when the door is ripped open. Out stumbles a ferocious Perri who is dragging.... her.

I can't see well and I know they didn't see me in my black attire, but I don't miss her sniffles and hiccups or smeared makeup.

She was crying. I made her cry.

I think a few weeks ago the sight would have killed me. But I know shes just crying because her precious Lou found the comfort in the arms of another.

I roll my eyes as they speed walk away until the door opens and Louis storms out.

Oh this should be fun.

I notice her cringe as he yells for her. Her only being a few feet ahead.

"L, whats wrong?" He yells. Fucker.

"Fuck off, Lou!" Perri snaps, dragging my girl along.

"What? No! What the hell is going on?" He spits, speeding up he grabs her elbow and rips her back, making her stumble lightly on her blue heels. I want to rip his throat out right there and then but my presence is still unknown.

"Let go of me!" Lilian hisses, ripping her arm back. I can tell just how pissed she is by how she draws her words together. Utter loathing rolling off her tongue. I drop my vig to the ground and put it out to keep myself in the shadows.

"Lily, what the hell is wrong? I -"

"DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER!?" She finally screams, cutting him off. Getting right to the point.

"W-what?" He stammers. I smirk in the darkness.

Aint' so perfect now is he, princess?

"MCKENZIE! THE NIGHT YOU LEFT ME HERE!" It's dark but I can see her facials. Betrayal and anger cut in the lines of her pretty face. Her dainty hands balled in fists, Perri tries to put a hand on her shoulder but she shakes it off, screaming right in Louis's face who is in clear distress as his secrets roll off in to the night.

Before their kiss tonight if this was happening I would have stormed over there and killed him for hurting her and then brought her in to my arms and whispered sweet things in to her hair line. Smoothing the crease in her forehead with my thumb as her tiny fists clenched my shirt.

But this is not before the kiss. This is after.

So I lean against the wall and watch as she screams at him.

Then I flicker my gaze to Perri who is already watching me.

Shit.

Notes