Author's Note

Alrighty, there are only two chapters so I'm not going to rate this yet; I need to read more first.

I feel that it's really hard to read something when it's all one big chapter. The summary actually grabbed my attention but it is a huge turn off when nothing is separated. This is what you have written (no changes by me):

Harry's POV I smelled the scent of fresh blood and couldn't help but see what it was, I ran to the sight and saw an old woman calling for help. I couldn't help but try to get away from her before she becomes my dinner, I turned around and bumped into.................................Dove????? " Are you Harry, Half Demon?" She had a butterfly knife in her hand, she looked like she wanted to kill me. " Yea what's it to you? Why are you holding that knife up to me?" I scratched the back of my neck and took hold of her wrist and pulled it down. " Let go of me! Before I cut you!" She had a look of hate in her eyes, why did she hate me? I leaned in and tried to kiss her, my angel. She pushed me away, and fell backwards. " Kiss me Dove." I fell on top of her and her lips vanished I looked around and saw that she was ready to cut my throut open. " Who is Dove? Stop trying to kiss me!" She didn't remember me? Or herself? " What do you mean who is Dove? You are, stupid!" I yelled at her and her fist clenched right then and there, she cut my cheek and before I could grab her she was gone. My Dove why does she not remember me? Let alone herself? Niall's POV I was spying on a group of delicous looking children, they were laughing and sitting under an oak tree. I was about to pounce on them when an arrow hit the branch next to me, I looked down and saw...........................Skyler?

Here is what it should look like:

Harry's POV

I smelled the scent of fresh blood and couldn't help but see what it was, I ran to the sight and saw an old woman calling for help. I couldn't help but try to get away from her before she becomes my dinner, I turned around and bumped into.................................Dove?????

" Are you Harry, Half Demon?" She had a butterfly knife in her hand, she looked like she wanted to kill me.

"Yea what's it to you? Why are you holding that knife up to me?" I scratched the back of my neck and took hold of her wrist and pulled it down.

"Let go of me! Before I cut you!" She had a look of hate in her eyes, why did she hate me? I leaned in and tried to kiss her, my angel. She pushed me away, and fell backwards.

"Kiss me Dove." I fell on top of her and her lips vanished I looked around and saw that she was ready to cut my throat open.

"Who is Dove? Stop trying to kiss me!" She didn't remember me? Or herself?

"What do you mean who is Dove? You are, stupid!" I yelled at her and her fist clenched right then and there, she cut my cheek and before I could grab her she was gone. My Dove why does she not remember me? Let alone herself?

Niall's POV

I was spying on a group of delicous looking children, they were laughing and sitting under an oak tree. I was about to pounce on them when an arrow hit the branch next to me, I looked down and saw...........................Skyler?

So I didn't correct any spelling or grammar issues, I just separated it into the way it should look. It makes it much easier to read. The problem with one big paragraph is that sometimes I don't know who is speaking. Also, the .................... is completely unnecessary.

With only two chapters I really don't know where it is going but the good thing is; you can definitely go back and change things to help out your readers. If you'd like me to help with the correct way to use grammar message me and we can work that out.

Hope this helped!

Notes