rate: 9.3
idea/originality: +
grammar: great
advice: 2

I really like how you incorporated the Youtube guys in your story! It makes it really unique from what I've seen so far. Very, very few grammatical errors which is awesome. Like I say with a lot of stories is keep writing and ask me again with a few more chapters since it's just getting started! So far I think you have a great thing going.

1. I would try to add more details. I know what your characters look like from the pictures but give me some detail. Let me envision what they're wearing or how sweaty they are from the heat....obviously examples but you get it.

2. I was a little overwhelmed with all of the characters...I had to go back to make sure I knew who each person was. Just give them a little bit more of a background.

I really do like it though and I think it has great potential! And again, totally my opinion, just keep doing what you're doing!