Author's Note

Hello! Thanks for trusting me with your story and I hope this review will be useful!

When I began reading I really loved the detail you gave. I'm glad it is an actual One Direction story because there aren't many of those anymore (not that it's a problem because none of my stories are One Direction related). I also liked how you incorporated some of their personal features like Liam's batman apparel.

I think one main point I'd really work on is the speed your story is going. Just in the first few paragraphs they are sleeping together which is crazy fast. I'm not saying that doesn't happen and for your story, it works, but I think it would have been nice to have some kind of build up. Maybe if you emphasized how drunk they were a little more or even if you slowed down to describe the scene. We know she likes him but what are her thoughts? However, after the first chapter I could see you were slowing things down.

There were some small things here and there such as spacing which is always nice and easier to read. You literally can fix that in two minutes. If not, it shouldn't really hurt your story. And another thing I would make sure to do is not putting down the other boys. If your character likes Liam more than the other boys that's fine and you can make it known but I wouldn't come out and say things like he is so much better than them. I only say this because it could offend some of your readers. But, having Liam as your main character is awesome because most of these stories are of Harry. There's nothing wrong with that either, it's just a nice change up.

I didn't get to finish your story but what I read so far seems interesting and I can see the tension rising which is perfect. You seem to know exactly when something is going to happen and you build up to it great! Keep going and I know your story is going to be great if you keep going on the path it is!

-A

Notes