Harry P.O.V.

“Breakfast!” I yell standing at the end of the hall. The door to Niall’s room opens slowly and he steps out in just his trackies, running his hands through his messy wet hair.

“Thank god, I’m starving,” he says, walking past me giving me a small smile before making his way straight over to the large table in the middle of the dining room. I stare a little too long at his back, as I attempt to keep myself under control, I don’t want to accidently pounce on him. That certainly wouldn’t be good for our strained relationship.

Feeling my eyes on him he looks over his shoulder with a curious gaze. “What?”

“What do you mean what?” I ask, playing dumb, I walk over to the table averting my gaze from him and sit in a chair. “I got you breakfast is all.”

He pulls his chair out slowly sinking down onto it, never taking his eyes off of me. “You were staring at me just now. Do I have a hole in my pants or something? I must admit they are pretty grubby,” He says, twisting around in the chair checking for holes.

I’m still not sure how much I should tell him about us now. I don’t want to overwhelm him and have him go running for the hills. “I was just looking,” I say, shrugging my shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal.

He looks down as he pours coco pops into his bowl, before looking back up at me with the same curious gaze. He tilts his head slightly to the side, it reminds me of when he used to do it before the amnesia and I feel the first bit of hope since the accident.

“Harry, why am I here with you, instead of being back with the other boys? I mean aren’t they my friends, it just seems a little weird that I am staying with you when Elliot has that huge house, wouldn’t it be easier, not to mention cheaper, if we stayed there with them?” he asks, keeping his gaze on me.

I gulp loudly, taking a sip of my coffee so I can stall a bit. “Elliot and I, we don’t particularly get along,” I hope that will stop his curiosity. Unfortunately that is not the case.

“Oh,” he looks down at his bowl again. “Well it just made me curious, because he seems quite protective over me, quite like you. And I mean, he said he loves me.”

It angered me to hear him talk about Elliot with adoration in his voice. “Look, I won’t pretend to know what actually went on between you and Elliot. I know that you’ve known him for a few years and that you were living with him up until the accident. But I don’t know what kind of relationship you guys had. I don’t like to think about it.”

“Is that because you love me too?” I look up at him shocked; his question catches me off guard.

“Unfortunately it’s not that simple with us. I’m not sure how much I should really tell you this early on, I was hoping that some things you would be able to work out on your own. I mean I don’t want to compromise things,” I say in a rush.

He tilts his head to the side again, making my stomach flip. “Compromise things how?”

“I mean you’re different now, you don’t remember any of us. And even though I remember everything that has happened between us, the ups and the downs, if this time around you maybe decide that that’s not what you want then I don’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t want to get in the way of something that will make you happy, even if it’s not me,” I sigh. “You could look at it this way; now you have a blank slate and it’s up to you if you do things the same or things differently.”

He thinks for a minute, “But you still didn’t answer my question.”

He just wasn’t going to let this go. “Yes,” I say simply looking him in the eye; I don’t know what else I could say.

“Are you threatened by Elliot?”

This conversation was getting too deep for this time of the morning. “No, because I always knew that what we had would ultimately win in the end. You always seemed to be knocking back Elliot’s advances, I mean you knocked back plenty of mine these last few months, but you always gave into me,” after I’d said it, I realised how bad that sounded, but he continues.

“And Liam? I mean what you said the other night about how I looked at Liam, you sounded threatened.”

“I wouldn’t say that I was threatened by him before the accident because there was no chance of you getting back together with him after that time. But the way you were looking at him the other night with lust filled eyes -,” I pause. “Before I thought for sure that I had won you from Liam, but you don’t remember the horrible turn your life took after what he did to you. After seeing you look at him like that again, I’m not so much threatened as I am worried about you.”

He was spooning mouthfuls of cereal into his mouth as I spoke; of course he wouldn’t really understand what I was talking about. “I just hope you don’t think you have some sort of claim on me, is all. But I am glad that you’ve told me, now I understand this situation a little better.”

He gets up and strolls over to the kitchen, leaving me sitting at the table not knowing what to think.

“So I’ll probably just sleep in my own bed from now on.” I hear him say quietly. I breathe out harshly, more annoyed at myself than him.

I walk into the kitchen and lean against the breakfast bar, looking over at him. “Have I made you uncomfortable?”

He looks over at me, mimicking my posture against the sink. “No it’s not that, it’s just a lot to take in at once. I’ve been with Liam and then you, and then Elliot and then you again, I’ve been getting around a fair bit apparently.” He looks down sadly.

I step forward, wanting to comfort him, but not make him uncomfortable. “That’s not what I meant at all,” I’m thoughtful for a second, “well actually there was one time when you were, but that wasn’t for that long and I got you out of that. It’s nothing to be ashamed off, Niall.”

He looks at me sharply. “That’s easy for you to say, you’ve never done it.”
When I don’t reply he sighs. “Look, this isn’t anything to do with you Harry. I just don’t know what to do with this information. You just told me you loved me and I don’t even know who you are; I can’t tell you that I reciprocate your feelings, because I don’t. And I’m sure that hurts you more than you are letting on. I’m going to sleep in my own bed from now on because I don’t want to give you the wrong idea and hurt you even more, that’s all.”

“No, I-. I get it,” I say, pushing myself away from the bench and dragging my feet back to my room. I close the door firmly so he doesn’t try to come in.

I flop down onto the large bed, letting my legs hang over the sides. How could I be so stupid? I just want to scream at myself. How could I think things would be the same after this? Like Niall would take one look at me, have one conversation with me and fall head over heels in love with me again.
Damn I’m naïve.

~~.~~

“Comedy or Horror?” I hear a voice say somewhere in the house.

They must be talking to another person, but I am unable to hear their response. I sit up on the bed hearing shuffling and then silence. Curious as to what Niall is doing I get up off my bed and head towards the kitchen. I round the corner seeing Niall’s blonde hair just above the couch that he’s sitting on, someone else with dark brown hair is sitting next to him.

“Damn, why did you choose horror? I can’t handle these things,” Niall states, shifting his position closer to the brunette.

I walk around the side of the couch and they finally realise I’m there.

“Oh hey, Harry. We were wondering when you were going to come out of your room,” Louis greets me, while Niall refuses to look at me instead staring at the television.

“Louis, what are you doing here?” I ask, not at all happy he’s in my hotel room.
“I invited him over because you locked yourself in your room. I thought it would be a good time to get to know him better,” Niall says, glancing at me quickly before looking back over at the screen.

“Or you just don’t want to be alone with me after what happened at breakfast,” I say, sighing.

“Harry, don’t be stupid. If you want to continue talking about that then I’ll talk to you about it later, but as for right now sit down with us and watch the movie,” Niall says sternly.

I let out a huff but still sit myself on the armchair to the side of the room, allowing them to sit on the couch together. We all watch the move in silence; the only noises are ones of disgust when someone gets horrifically butchered. My attention shifts over time from the movie to the sight of Niall and Louis on the couch. Niall sometime during the twenty minutes I’ve been sitting here has gravitated towards Louis, resting his head on his shoulder. He buries his face into Louis in the particularly gross parts; I’ve never actually seen Niall do anything like that before. It intrigued me just as much as it angered me. Louis lifts his head suddenly to look on me, obviously feeling the weight of my gaze on him. He gives me an apologetic smile before turning back to the movie. I slump back against the chair, having gravitated towards the pair. If only Niall knew how Louis really was towards him.

“Are you not enjoying the movie, Harry?” Niall suddenly asks, pushing himself away from Louis a bit to look at me.

“Horror isn’t really my thing,” I answer him, not taking my eyes off of the screen. I flick them over to his, “it’s not yours either.”

He looks confused for a moment before sighing slightly. “Really? Well I’m actually enjoying it, save for the gruesome bits.”

And there it is; another thing that’s different. Things have certainly changed.

Louis leaves sometime soon after, even before the movie ended. He said something about needing to run an errand but it was clear that he felt uncomfortable with the tension between Niall and I.

We were still sitting in the same spots for awhile after he left, neither of us speaking.

“So, I don’t like horror movies, huh?” he says, lifting himself off the couch and walking to the kitchen. I follow behind him.

“No, you always complained that they were too predictable. In fact you never really watched the television at all,” I reply.

“Hm, well I can certainly understand that reasoning,” he says, laughing slightly. The atmosphere in the kitchen began to get awkward; neither of us were looking the other in the eye.

“Alright well, I’m not hungry for dinner so I think I’m just going to go to bed. Good night, Niall,” I say, walking out of the kitchen and down the hall. I hear his footsteps behind me.

“Harry, wait.” I pause mid step. “Have I done something to upset you?”

I gaze over my shoulder, not moving any closer to him. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? Have I done something to make you mad at me?,” he asks, giving me an odd look.

I turn my head back towards my room, longing to be tucked under my blankets without him pestering me. I don’t give him a reply.

“Harry, are you even listening to me?” He’s getting frustrated.

“Niall, what do you want me to say? I’m tired and I want to go to bed, you don’t want to sleep in the same bed as me because of my feelings towards you, and that’s your business. Now please just let me go to sleep, it’s been a long day,” I almost yell at him.

He looked at me, surprised at my sudden outburst. “I thought you said that you understood that you were fine with it?”

“Well I’m not, how could I be?” I say as I walk into my room, once again closing a door between us.

I immediately begin stripping out of my clothes, save for my boxers and then climb into bed, wanting to feel the comforting touch of the blankets, though they act as a poor substitute for what I really want. Niall. Nonetheless I wrap them around my body tightly wishing for a nightmare-free sleep, which never seems to come.

Notes