Longing for you

“I can´t believe you won´t be here anymore in three days”, Zayn interrupted my bad performance of Katy Perry´s Unconditionally. My mouth shut and I thought about an answer.

“We could skype?”, I tried, but I saw he wasn´t really convinced about that idea.

“Probably I write you sometimes”, he said and I gave him a big smile.

“That sounds even better, but only if you keep your promise then.” He laughed and I found myself smile even bigger.

“That wasn´t a promise. I don´t promise things, I know I can´t keep!” Playfully I slapped him and his shirt got covered with flour.

“At least you can try!”, I forced him and he said he would do me that favor.

“Can you do me a favor in return and handle me that bowl up there?”, he asked and pointed to an old baking dish on the top of the cupboard.

“Sure”, I agreed since his hands were to his elbows in dough for rolls. Even though I tripped on a stool I was too tiny to reach the bowl that way and I had to stretch to grab it.

I heard Zayn inhale sharply and I glanced down to him, trying to find out what was wrong with him. Therefore I found his eyes, laying on the naked part of skin, which was revealed from stretching my body. My shirt rid up and exposed the pale skin over my hipbones and I tried to find out what was wrong with it.

Had he never seen some parts of naked skin on a girl? Actually, he had already seen me in a bikini and that meant, that this part wasn´t something new to him.

“Who did that to you again?”, he suddenly asked and removed his hands from the dough, touching with them the naked part.

His hands left a small line of flour on it as he touched it sightly and I looked down and finally saw what he was talking about. Right next to my hipbone was a huge red bruise with purple edges.

“That´s nothing”, I said quickly and pulled the top back over it.

“Don´t lie to me, Clary! That´s new! I saw a lot of different stadiums of bruises and I can tell, that that one´s definitely new!”, his voice sounded angry and I already got scared of this side of him again.

“Zayn I´m fine, really”, I tried to convince him one more time, but he still didn´t believed me.

“Clary I swear to God, if someone´s touching you I´ll...”, he inflamed, but I interrupted him.

“It´s only a hicky, alright?”, my voice was thinner than I thought it would be. Actually I hadn´t even realized that this had happened.

Zayn´s mouth hang open before he asked: “A love bite?” Slowly I shrugged my shoulders, but then I nodded in approval. His eyes widened and I saw he was expecting everything, but nothing like that.

“I didn´t knew...”, he whispered before he spoke up louder, “...that you are sharing a bed with someone.” His voice still seemed angry and he nearly snapped the last part.

“Honestly, I didn´t even knew it was there. Like I said no one touched me without my permission”, I informed him and I saw his jaw, being pressed on each other.

“So, he had your permission and gave you that hicky, as you call it, without you even noticing he sucked on your skin so hard there´s a tennisball sized bruise now?”, his words hit me somehow.

Harry definitely had my permission, but about the fact that I hadn´t noticed he gave me that one was really surprising. Things always seemed to get really crumbled and mixed up, when we were intimate.

There were so many things I had to discover and which I was fascinated by like the way the muscles on his arms moved whenever he touched me or the way his eyes flashed over every single inch of my body, that I was too distracted and my mind seemed to shut out other unnecessary conditions like the pain, which came along with Harry sucking on my skin.

“Yeah, kind of”, I said as I realized Zayn waited for an answer to his question.

“Had fun while doing it?” What was wrong with him?

“That´s a really personal question”, I told him and refused to give him an answer that way.

“Just thought you probably felt like telling someone how great that guy is. Need to be a really good catch, if he makes you forget about things like that”, he snapped.

“I´m not going to answer questions like this”, I replied angrily and turned my back to him as I got back to work. We worked for 20 minutes without saying a word and I thought about his problem he seemed to have with the hicky.

Things like this just happened then and now, why was it such a big deal to him? He could care for me, if I got beaten up at a dark street, but getting a mark from a boys lips while having sex really wasn´t his business!

“Is it a guy from a club?”, he suddenly asked with his scratchy, husky voice and I freaked out.

“It´s not a guy from a gmy! I´m not a slut, Zayn!”, I shouted at him and he only responded in raising his eyebrows.

“Just thought since you seemed to be quiet a good dancer...”, he started, but I was sick of this discussion.

“It´s Harry´s, alright?”, I told him the truth and he finally shut up.

“But I thought this brunette girl is his girlfrien...”, to figure the whole thing out.

“She was his girlfriend”, I corrected him, overcoming with guilt again.

“So that kiss that day”, he said and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I´m not a bad person”, I breathed out, but I knew I wasn´t sure about that at all and he could hear it as well.

“You just told me you moved on”, Zayn said as I got back to work. A sad, indignantly laugh left my lips.

“I really tried to be and I really hoped I would have been...”, I started my sentence, “...but you weren´t”, Zayn ended it for me.

“No”, I mumbled and dropped my shoulders. Hot tears were forming in my eyes and I tried to blink them away. There was no more time for tears, not being weak in front of somebody. But my stupid noise started to run and I had run it up quiet some times.

“You´re okay?”, Zayn suddenly asked and his voice was way more softer this time.

“Yeah, it´s just that I´ve never been in a situation like this before and there´s no guide to tell you how to make the right decision”, I said as I still looked down to my work, trying to stay concentrated.

“I didn´t wanted to make you feel bad or something”, Zayn informed me and I only shrugged my shoulders in response again.

“Clary”, he sighed and I turned to face him. His eyes were soft, laying on me with his dark deep they simply had, before he spoke up again.

“Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was making you unhappy, but I thought someone hurted you again”, he explained and I gave him a faint smile, which was all I could manage to do.

“But like I said nobody hurted me besides myself probably”, I told him.

“But there´s another reason why I kind of freaked out about it. I think you should know that...”, he started and I was already really tensed to hear his words as we got interrupted by Diane.

“Clary? There´s someone asking for you at the counter”, she informed me.

“Harry?”, I asked curious since he promised me to pick me up after my shift.

“No, it´s a brunette girl”, she informed me.

“Oh, that´s probably Tanya”, I guessed and gave Zayn an apologetic smile before I followed her. If Tanya was here, there would be an important reason and I had time to talk to Zayn later. After I stepped out of the kitchen I froze in my movement.

Behind the counter stood a tall, pretty, tanned and beautiful girl. Indeed she had brown hair, but she wasn´t Tanya. Right in front of me stood Aimee, holding a small box in her hands and giving me a death glare.

Harry´s POV:

“Mum, I´m home!”, I shouted as soon as I entered through the front door.

“Hey, darling”, she greeted me as she came out of the kitchen and gave me a slight kiss on my cheek.

“Were did you were last night?”, she asked still a little bit worried even though I was old enough to stay out all night by myself now.

“Slept over at Connor´s and Tanya´s”, I informed her and she raised her eyebrows. She knew about Clary since I couldn´t stand lying to her about something so important in my life. Probably should have tried the same thing with Clary though, I thought.

“Slept there? Aha, you´re just careful since you doesn´t want a little Rosy to yourself, won´t you?”, she asked and I gave her a look between a death glare and a roaring laughter.

“Thanks, no Mum. But we really don´t need to have this embarrassing protection talk we had at the age of 14 again.”

“Oh Lord, that had been really awkward, hasn´t it?”, she asked and I nearly blushed only at the imagination again.

“Definitely no need to repeat that, yeah”, I agreed wit her.

Since I only took off my jacket she asked: “You´re already leaving again?”

While jumping up the stairs to my bedroom I told her: “Yeah, I´m afraid. Just picking up some stuff and picking her up from her shift then.”

It had been one thing to tell my Mum that I was back together with Clary, but it would be another one telling her about my plans to go with her back to Germany.

Probably not as bad as the protection talk though, but pretty horrible as well. My room looked messy like always, but somehow I felt something felt strange about it.

Not wondering about it any more I got out of my clothes and took a quick shower before I dressed myself again, pulling a gray shirt over my head.

Carelessly I dropped my phone onto the bed before I realized what was so wrong and different from the last time I had been in here. Over the edge of my bed had hung a red dress, which belonged to Aimee, but it was gone now.

“Mum?”, I called down the stairs.

“Yes?”, she asked back and I questioned her, if someone had been here all day. Her face told me that she was sorry for forgetting to tell me.

“Aimee was here and picked up her stuff from your room”, she told me and I sighed faintly. Sure, she had to get her stuff back and I was kind of embarrassed she had to get everything together on her own.

“How are things going with Clary? She should come over sometime and say hi since she hadn´t been here for ages”, my Mum told me and I nodded in agreement. The last time had been really horrible and seeing her one more time in here, being happy would be a great new memory.

“I´m picking her up now and I think we can manage to come around”, I said and made my way out of the room. But in the last second I remembered to grab my phone, which still laid on the bed and I turned to get it.

That was the moment that my eyes fell on the drawer next to my bed, which was faintly opened. But I knew what that meant immediately. She found it.

Unsure I stared at the phone in my hands. If I were a girl, being hurt and left by my boyfriend because he fell back in love with his ex girlfriend and had this knowledge?

God, I honestly had no idea what a girl was thinking, but somehow I knew I should look after Clary.

Quickly.

Notes