The new start
Chapter sixty-four, "Best friends"
“Good morning, sunshine.” Mom said and pulled the blind up. The sun hit me all at once and I pulled the blanket over my head, tried to hide from the memories from yesterday. I didn´t want them to come back. Wasn´t it enough that I had dreamed about Niall and that girl all night, now I had to think of them on the day too? I also remembered that I had left just after their show, they sang “what makes you beautiful” and even if I didn´t want to admit it right now it sounded perfect. Harry´s raspy voice with Liam´s soft, just… perfect. Of course I wanted to talk to everyone and all that but seeing Niall and that girl… that was enough for one night. My thoughts got interrupted by mom dragging the blanket of me, one of the disadvantages about my “new” mom.
“Mom, come on, it´s summer break, I don´t have to wake up at…” I looked on the clock. “…eight.” I screamed but mom didn´t even flinch.
“I know you had a rough evening last night but today is a new day and you won´t achieve anything lying in the bed.” She said and smiled.
“Go and get dressed, I´ll make some breakfast.” She said and I couldn´t help but smile. It was great having a mom that cared, no great was an understatement. It was fantastic. I picked out an outfit for the day and then I walked out of my room. The table was set with all kinds of sandwiches, eggs and juice. When I saw everything I realized that I was really hungry. I hadn´t eaten anything, but those sandwiches, for dinner last night.
“I didn´t know you could cook.” I said and sat down before I started eating like I hadn´t seen food in ages.
“There is a lot you don´t know about me.” She said but I was too busy eating to ask her “like what?” When I was done eating it felt like I was about to vomit, but It had been impossible to stop eating of that food, it seriously was delicious.
“Mom that was so delicious, thanks.” I said and was just about to stand up when she grabbed my hand.
“Amy, I really want to make things work and I want you to know that I am here for you. Always, I also want you to know that I know about Niall and that girl.” She said and gave me her beautiful smile. But I was too surprised to smile back.
“You do? But I thought you didn´t even know I liked him?” I said and knew my eyes looked a little too angry. But I couldn´t help but wonder, if she knew why hadn´t she warned me? Maybe then I wouldn´t have been so embarrassed.
“Even I noticed that on the hospital.” She said and laughed. But now I was really angry, what kind of mother didn´t warn you about something like that?
“Why didn´t you warn me then?” I asked, tried to keep it together.
“Honey, I tried but before I even had finished you were out the door.” She said and didn´t look surprised about my reaction. She really had changed, maybe it was time for me to let her inside. To give her a second chance.
“I am sorry… I just… I seriously don´t know what to do. I need Niall in my life.” I whispered, tried to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks.
“Well, why don´t you do something about it then?” She said and I nodded. That was exactly what I was going to do, but first I had to meet up with Chloe. Who knows what else that has happened when I was gone?
“I will but first I have to go and see Chloe. Bye mom and thanks… for everything.” I said and hurried out the door. I walked briskly towards the stairs and practically ran until I was in front of Chloe´s door. I knocked three times but I didn´t wait for an answer I just walked inside. I was just tired of waiting, tired of waiting for Choe by the door and tired of waiting for that light, that sparkle. I can´t wait anymore, it was time to act. Good things don´t just get served on a silver plate, that´s one thing I have learned. Another thing is that hope is good. Hope is the thing that makes people want to stay in this crappy world. The hope that someday it will change. Without hope every single one of us would probably stand on a bridge some place about to jump, thinking it would be easier to die, flee away from everything. Maybe it is easier, but I like to think every single soul on this earth has a purpose. That we are born for a reason. Okay but let´s say we live in a world without hope, would everyone really commit suicide? Would the world be scarier than death itself? Because I guess what the human is most afraid of is not knowing. Not knowing what happens. If we knew that death means going to hell maybe it would make it easier because the truth is that not knowing is the worst that can happen to a person. But it can also be the best thing. That´s why we lie, because sometimes thinking something is true which isn´t is better than knowing the truth. My thoughts got interrupted by a sight I never taught I would see. Maybe waiting hadn´t been too bad after all.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry… I had no idea… I just… oh crap… I am leaving now…” I stammered and started walking backwards until I bumped into a lamp that slowly smashed into pieces on the ground. That was just enough, first seeing Chloe half naked with Liam on top then breaking her lamp. I was about to cry. I didn´t know why but the tears were very close. I bit myself in the tongue and pressed out a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.
“Oh no… Chloe I´ll pay you for that.” I said and was just about to turn around and run the hell out of there when Chloe grabbed my arm.
“It´s okay, Amy. You need to calm down.” She said, not embarrassed at all.
“And you need to put on some clothes.” I screamed and looked away. She laughed and soon both she and Liam were fully dressed and even though I barely could keep the picture of them naked out of my head I had regained the composure.
“So that was awkward. I am so sorry for the lamp I will totally pay for that.” I said but Chloe just shook her head.
“It´s fine Amy. I get it, it´s not every day you see your best friend you know…” She said and I nodded. I knew exactly what she meant. But even though the situation I couldn´t help it but smile, she had called me her best friend. So there I was standing in front of my best friend and her boyfriend, just seeing them practically do it and smiling like a fool.
“Hey Chloe I should probably go. But I´ll call you later, okay babe?” Liam said and she nodded before they gave each other on hell of a kiss which made me miss Niall even more. But I tried not to get jealous and be happy for her instead.
“Do you want something to drink?” She asked when Liam had left.
“I´ll need one hell of a drink if I wanna get that picture out of my head.” I said and we laughed. Chloe poured up a glass of whiskey for me and even though it was really early in the morning I swallowed it in only one zip. When I was done I felt just in the right mood for a talk, finally I could get some answers.
“So Chloe, can you tell me everything that has happened during these five months, please? I need someone to fill me in.” I said and I know it sounded desperate but like I said I am tired of waiting.
“Just like that, no talking about what happened before you left?” She asked and then I remembered. We had never sorted things out before I left. It felt like such a long time ago and by the feeling I had felt when she pronounced the words “best friend” I couldn´t even consider letting her go.
“Look Chloe, everyone makes mistakes. Me, you, everyone and I want to give you a second chance. I am not saying it´s gonna be easy or that we can pretend like it never happened but I want you in my life, and that´s all that matters to me. So let´s just look forward, okay?” I said and she smiled.
“Let´s look forward. So what do you want to know?” She asked and her smile infected itself on me.
“Tell me everything.” I said and she nodded.
“Well I don´t know where to start, a lot as happened. But I guess you want me to start with Niall because of what you saw last night.” She started and I was too nervous to nod for her to go on. I drew my hand through my hair and tried to find a spot to look at when I listened to Chloe. But it was impossible, everything seemed blurry so I ended up with staring into Chloe´s eyes. It was the only safe place in here.
“At first Niall literally sat up waiting for you, but as the time passed with no sign of you he stopped. It was like he was this new person with no feelings. He slept with girls every night and if I didn´t believe in soul mates before I do it now. I mean you only knew him for what? Two weeks? But still he was so hurt. He did everything to try to avoid anything that was about you. All of us, Liam, Louis, Harry, me… everyone. Then for about like two months ago he was back apologizing saying he had met this girl. Wanting to get back into our lifes. So we let him back, they started the band and ever since he has almost been himself.” She said and it was as I was about to pass out. One text could have saved our relationship. What was I thinking? One tiny text. God, why do I always push people away?
“What do you mean almost?” I asked but I didn´t know if I wanted to know. Whatever it was in didn´t sound good and it probably was my fault to. I wasn´t good for him, maybe it was time to let him go, for his own sake.
“Sometimes he doesn´t even listen to what we say, it´s like he is gone. Somewhere else and he always has this smile on his lips, like he is having the time of his life. I think he thinks about you. I don´t know why, it´s just a feeling I have. Amy you have to get him back, you two belong together. He doesn´t even love this girl, she just keeps him going because he hates being alone.” I swallowed, tried to not cry. Niall was such a beautiful person, who knew? But that wasn´t why I was about to cry. The lump was there because there was a chance for me to get him back, all I had to do was to tell him that I´ll never leave again. But it scared me, it made me so vulnerable. I didn´t know if I had the guts to do it and that´s way I was about to cry. Because I am such a coward.
“Tell me about you instead.” I said quickly, I couldn´t even hear Niall´s name right now without starting to cry. And tears was the last thing I wanted right now.
“But wh…” She started but when she saw the look in my eyes she got quiet.
“Well I am finally happy, Amy. Even though I missed you it seems as my life is getting back on track. I have Liam and he is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He is such a gentlemen and he is so kind to me. He is there when I am sad, when I am happy, he is always there and I feel like that´s the kind of guy I need in my life. And for the record he is so good in bed.” She laughed and even if I wanted to hit her I couldn´t help but laugh too.
“Chloe I don´t need anymore deets about your sex life, please?” I laughed and punched her lightly on the arm.
“It´s not only Liam, Amy. My parents are starting to accept me and I´ve made some new friends. It´s going well in school, everything is on top right now you know. I am just so happy… and now that you are back my life is fulfilled.” She said and hugged me. I drew in the smell of her hair and smiled. God, I had missed her.
“I missed you.” I whispered.
“I missed you too.” She said and let go of me.
“So what about Zayn, Harry and Louis?” I asked and she straightened her hair.
“They are great, Harry and Louis are still together and Zayn and I are friends. Plus Zayn has explained everything to me and it was stupid of me to judge him that quickly. I just decided to give him a second chance you know, he found a new girlfriend too. So he seems to be happy.” She said and smiled.
“Everything seems to be great here. Do you want to know what happened to me?” I asked and she nodded. Suddenly I realized that being home hadn´t been so bad as I first thought. It wasn´t that much that had happened after all and there was a possibility to fix what is between me and Niall. I just had to let him in which I probably would have had to do anyway and he is worth it. It is worth it.
“Well, I helped Summer to get shorter time in prison. I defended her and helped her like on the things that was possible. She actually gets out today so you get to meet her later in the afternoon if you want to. So instead of three years she got five months and I actually feel great about doing it. I am proud of myself to be able to forgive and I actually think she has changed a lot. She has a new girlfriend and she treats me right. I know you might not even want to speak to her after what she did but Chloe I am telling you, she has changed. At least try, for me.” I said and smiled. But Chloe didn´t answer my smile.
“Amy I don´t know if I believe someone can change that much.” She said and shook her head.
“My mom has, she is all kind and sweet to me and I don´t think it´s an act. I think it´s for real.” I said and now Chloe´s mouth pointed right up.
“I am so happy for you and you know what? I will try to treat her nicely. For you, but just for you.” She said and my smile grew bigger. I was lucky to call this girl my best friend. Because that is what she is, my very best friend.
“Mom, come on, it´s summer break, I don´t have to wake up at…” I looked on the clock. “…eight.” I screamed but mom didn´t even flinch.
“I know you had a rough evening last night but today is a new day and you won´t achieve anything lying in the bed.” She said and smiled.
“Go and get dressed, I´ll make some breakfast.” She said and I couldn´t help but smile. It was great having a mom that cared, no great was an understatement. It was fantastic. I picked out an outfit for the day and then I walked out of my room. The table was set with all kinds of sandwiches, eggs and juice. When I saw everything I realized that I was really hungry. I hadn´t eaten anything, but those sandwiches, for dinner last night.
“I didn´t know you could cook.” I said and sat down before I started eating like I hadn´t seen food in ages.
“There is a lot you don´t know about me.” She said but I was too busy eating to ask her “like what?” When I was done eating it felt like I was about to vomit, but It had been impossible to stop eating of that food, it seriously was delicious.
“Mom that was so delicious, thanks.” I said and was just about to stand up when she grabbed my hand.
“Amy, I really want to make things work and I want you to know that I am here for you. Always, I also want you to know that I know about Niall and that girl.” She said and gave me her beautiful smile. But I was too surprised to smile back.
“You do? But I thought you didn´t even know I liked him?” I said and knew my eyes looked a little too angry. But I couldn´t help but wonder, if she knew why hadn´t she warned me? Maybe then I wouldn´t have been so embarrassed.
“Even I noticed that on the hospital.” She said and laughed. But now I was really angry, what kind of mother didn´t warn you about something like that?
“Why didn´t you warn me then?” I asked, tried to keep it together.
“Honey, I tried but before I even had finished you were out the door.” She said and didn´t look surprised about my reaction. She really had changed, maybe it was time for me to let her inside. To give her a second chance.
“I am sorry… I just… I seriously don´t know what to do. I need Niall in my life.” I whispered, tried to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks.
“Well, why don´t you do something about it then?” She said and I nodded. That was exactly what I was going to do, but first I had to meet up with Chloe. Who knows what else that has happened when I was gone?
“I will but first I have to go and see Chloe. Bye mom and thanks… for everything.” I said and hurried out the door. I walked briskly towards the stairs and practically ran until I was in front of Chloe´s door. I knocked three times but I didn´t wait for an answer I just walked inside. I was just tired of waiting, tired of waiting for Choe by the door and tired of waiting for that light, that sparkle. I can´t wait anymore, it was time to act. Good things don´t just get served on a silver plate, that´s one thing I have learned. Another thing is that hope is good. Hope is the thing that makes people want to stay in this crappy world. The hope that someday it will change. Without hope every single one of us would probably stand on a bridge some place about to jump, thinking it would be easier to die, flee away from everything. Maybe it is easier, but I like to think every single soul on this earth has a purpose. That we are born for a reason. Okay but let´s say we live in a world without hope, would everyone really commit suicide? Would the world be scarier than death itself? Because I guess what the human is most afraid of is not knowing. Not knowing what happens. If we knew that death means going to hell maybe it would make it easier because the truth is that not knowing is the worst that can happen to a person. But it can also be the best thing. That´s why we lie, because sometimes thinking something is true which isn´t is better than knowing the truth. My thoughts got interrupted by a sight I never taught I would see. Maybe waiting hadn´t been too bad after all.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry… I had no idea… I just… oh crap… I am leaving now…” I stammered and started walking backwards until I bumped into a lamp that slowly smashed into pieces on the ground. That was just enough, first seeing Chloe half naked with Liam on top then breaking her lamp. I was about to cry. I didn´t know why but the tears were very close. I bit myself in the tongue and pressed out a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.
“Oh no… Chloe I´ll pay you for that.” I said and was just about to turn around and run the hell out of there when Chloe grabbed my arm.
“It´s okay, Amy. You need to calm down.” She said, not embarrassed at all.
“And you need to put on some clothes.” I screamed and looked away. She laughed and soon both she and Liam were fully dressed and even though I barely could keep the picture of them naked out of my head I had regained the composure.
“So that was awkward. I am so sorry for the lamp I will totally pay for that.” I said but Chloe just shook her head.
“It´s fine Amy. I get it, it´s not every day you see your best friend you know…” She said and I nodded. I knew exactly what she meant. But even though the situation I couldn´t help it but smile, she had called me her best friend. So there I was standing in front of my best friend and her boyfriend, just seeing them practically do it and smiling like a fool.
“Hey Chloe I should probably go. But I´ll call you later, okay babe?” Liam said and she nodded before they gave each other on hell of a kiss which made me miss Niall even more. But I tried not to get jealous and be happy for her instead.
“Do you want something to drink?” She asked when Liam had left.
“I´ll need one hell of a drink if I wanna get that picture out of my head.” I said and we laughed. Chloe poured up a glass of whiskey for me and even though it was really early in the morning I swallowed it in only one zip. When I was done I felt just in the right mood for a talk, finally I could get some answers.
“So Chloe, can you tell me everything that has happened during these five months, please? I need someone to fill me in.” I said and I know it sounded desperate but like I said I am tired of waiting.
“Just like that, no talking about what happened before you left?” She asked and then I remembered. We had never sorted things out before I left. It felt like such a long time ago and by the feeling I had felt when she pronounced the words “best friend” I couldn´t even consider letting her go.
“Look Chloe, everyone makes mistakes. Me, you, everyone and I want to give you a second chance. I am not saying it´s gonna be easy or that we can pretend like it never happened but I want you in my life, and that´s all that matters to me. So let´s just look forward, okay?” I said and she smiled.
“Let´s look forward. So what do you want to know?” She asked and her smile infected itself on me.
“Tell me everything.” I said and she nodded.
“Well I don´t know where to start, a lot as happened. But I guess you want me to start with Niall because of what you saw last night.” She started and I was too nervous to nod for her to go on. I drew my hand through my hair and tried to find a spot to look at when I listened to Chloe. But it was impossible, everything seemed blurry so I ended up with staring into Chloe´s eyes. It was the only safe place in here.
“At first Niall literally sat up waiting for you, but as the time passed with no sign of you he stopped. It was like he was this new person with no feelings. He slept with girls every night and if I didn´t believe in soul mates before I do it now. I mean you only knew him for what? Two weeks? But still he was so hurt. He did everything to try to avoid anything that was about you. All of us, Liam, Louis, Harry, me… everyone. Then for about like two months ago he was back apologizing saying he had met this girl. Wanting to get back into our lifes. So we let him back, they started the band and ever since he has almost been himself.” She said and it was as I was about to pass out. One text could have saved our relationship. What was I thinking? One tiny text. God, why do I always push people away?
“What do you mean almost?” I asked but I didn´t know if I wanted to know. Whatever it was in didn´t sound good and it probably was my fault to. I wasn´t good for him, maybe it was time to let him go, for his own sake.
“Sometimes he doesn´t even listen to what we say, it´s like he is gone. Somewhere else and he always has this smile on his lips, like he is having the time of his life. I think he thinks about you. I don´t know why, it´s just a feeling I have. Amy you have to get him back, you two belong together. He doesn´t even love this girl, she just keeps him going because he hates being alone.” I swallowed, tried to not cry. Niall was such a beautiful person, who knew? But that wasn´t why I was about to cry. The lump was there because there was a chance for me to get him back, all I had to do was to tell him that I´ll never leave again. But it scared me, it made me so vulnerable. I didn´t know if I had the guts to do it and that´s way I was about to cry. Because I am such a coward.
“Tell me about you instead.” I said quickly, I couldn´t even hear Niall´s name right now without starting to cry. And tears was the last thing I wanted right now.
“But wh…” She started but when she saw the look in my eyes she got quiet.
“Well I am finally happy, Amy. Even though I missed you it seems as my life is getting back on track. I have Liam and he is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He is such a gentlemen and he is so kind to me. He is there when I am sad, when I am happy, he is always there and I feel like that´s the kind of guy I need in my life. And for the record he is so good in bed.” She laughed and even if I wanted to hit her I couldn´t help but laugh too.
“Chloe I don´t need anymore deets about your sex life, please?” I laughed and punched her lightly on the arm.
“It´s not only Liam, Amy. My parents are starting to accept me and I´ve made some new friends. It´s going well in school, everything is on top right now you know. I am just so happy… and now that you are back my life is fulfilled.” She said and hugged me. I drew in the smell of her hair and smiled. God, I had missed her.
“I missed you.” I whispered.
“I missed you too.” She said and let go of me.
“So what about Zayn, Harry and Louis?” I asked and she straightened her hair.
“They are great, Harry and Louis are still together and Zayn and I are friends. Plus Zayn has explained everything to me and it was stupid of me to judge him that quickly. I just decided to give him a second chance you know, he found a new girlfriend too. So he seems to be happy.” She said and smiled.
“Everything seems to be great here. Do you want to know what happened to me?” I asked and she nodded. Suddenly I realized that being home hadn´t been so bad as I first thought. It wasn´t that much that had happened after all and there was a possibility to fix what is between me and Niall. I just had to let him in which I probably would have had to do anyway and he is worth it. It is worth it.
“Well, I helped Summer to get shorter time in prison. I defended her and helped her like on the things that was possible. She actually gets out today so you get to meet her later in the afternoon if you want to. So instead of three years she got five months and I actually feel great about doing it. I am proud of myself to be able to forgive and I actually think she has changed a lot. She has a new girlfriend and she treats me right. I know you might not even want to speak to her after what she did but Chloe I am telling you, she has changed. At least try, for me.” I said and smiled. But Chloe didn´t answer my smile.
“Amy I don´t know if I believe someone can change that much.” She said and shook her head.
“My mom has, she is all kind and sweet to me and I don´t think it´s an act. I think it´s for real.” I said and now Chloe´s mouth pointed right up.
“I am so happy for you and you know what? I will try to treat her nicely. For you, but just for you.” She said and my smile grew bigger. I was lucky to call this girl my best friend. Because that is what she is, my very best friend.
Notes
Hello guys! :) I am sorry for low updating... again. I was think to update like two days after my last chapter but something stopped me. I don´t know what but I am back on track and I am guessing one more chapter then I am finished! :o Shit I think this is the first long story I have ever finsihed and it´s on english! :D Well, I can´t celebrait yet. There is a lot of things I still need to figure out and write down in the right words. Hope your looking forward to the end! Love, E<3How do you think it will end?
A really weird question but I can´t come up with anything else, lol:
Do you think people really can change?
@stolemyheart
Did you die because of your beauty or something? :0
4/27/14