The new start
Chapter fifty-seven, "What if I never would have moved?"
“Amy sweetheart, can you hear me?” I opened my eyes and realized that I was standing in the middle of a field, the blue and pink flowers float together like a rainbow and suddenly it felt like I was in heaven. But when the memories of Niall´s pale body hit me I knew that this was as far from heaven as possible. Maybe this was hell?
“Amy cutie?” The voice was back and this time I almost recognized it. It sounded just like…grandma. There she was with the grey hair and the green eyes just like I had remembered her. I ran towards her and hugged her as hard as I could. The smell of apple and cinnamon embraced me and spread joy and happiness in my stomach.
“Where am I grandma? Am I dead?” I asked and she laughed. I had missed that laugh so much.
“Sweetheart you are not dead, you are in coma and there is some things you need to see before you go back to the earth.” She said and sat down on the grass.
“But grandma, you don´t know what I have done. It´s horrible and I don´t deserve to go back there. I deserve to die.” I said and grandma got serious. She squeezed my hands and looked deep into my eyes.
“Honey, you do not deserve to die. Don´t say that about yourself. You have made some mistakes but who haven´t? I mean everything you have done since that day you hit him was for others. You have to know that everything isn´t your fault.” She said but I wouldn´t listen, she was wrong. I had hurt so many people since I have got here, for what reason? None.
“Your wrong and yes I can give you examples. For starters you know when Summer and I set up that plan to hurt Harry and Louis. I did that all for me.” I said and just the memory made tears start burning in my eyes.
“Do you remember what you did more that evening?” Grandma asked and the grey eyes made the burning leave and suddenly I realized it. I wanted to die, with no Niall there waiting for me I had no reason to live. I wanted to go with grandma to whatever heaven or whatever hell there was waiting for me.
“Grandma I want to go with you” I said instead of answering the question and grandma looked annoyed.
“Do you remember what you did more that evening, sweetheart?” She asked and the grey eyes drilled into me.
“Well I didn´t do much…or when I think about it I saved Chloe from Zayn.” I said and grandma nodded happily.
“Exactly, I want you to see how much good you have done since you got here. What we are going to see now is how everything would be if you wouldn´t have gotten here.” Grandma said and I looked confused around. Everything was changing, the big field got replaced by houses and trees and I was back at the first day or the first night actually in this town. We were back to the night I met Harry for the first time. It was at the exact same time, at the exact same day I just knew it. Then I saw Harry, he came walking towards the bench I had sat on but there was no one there. Instead of stopping like he had done that night he continued walking. Then he stopped right in front of a man with dark hair and piercings all over his face. The creepy man wore a big black sweatshirt and pants that had been showing the whole guy´s as, if it wasn´t for the underpants. He gave Harry something that looked awfully much like drugs. Was Harry taking drugs? He stopped for a while to talk with the creepy man but I couldn´t hear that much of what they said. But I could see that it was not nice things. A sting of helplessness rose up in my stomach when the creepy man hit Harry right in the face. Just when I thought Harry would pass out and die he got up on his feet started hitting the creepy man until he laid on the ground with a pretty bad nose and blood everywhere. When both of them had disappeared from the place I couldn´t quit starring at it. What had just happened?
“I am sure you have a lot of questions but we don´t have much time so you only get to ask three of them.” Grandma said and I bit my tongue I sucked at picking out things like this. But I needed answers so I was not going to argue against it.
“What has this to do with me?” I asked and grandma smiled.
“You saved that young man from buying those drugs and from fighting the other guy. You saved him from a miserable world.” She said but I didn´t understand. What had I done?
“But I didn´t do anything.” I said for myself.
“Yes you did honey. You said that he was perfect and the way you looked at him. No one had looked at him that way before. Not even Louis, not his mother. He felt appreciated for the first time of his life.” She said and then I understood it all but I still didn´t get why I was the warmhearted girl.
“Okay so I helped him, but first of all it wasn´t on purpose and second of all that was only one person. If you count up how many I have hurt it´s not even close.” I said and grandma sighed.
“Well shall we go to the next one then? No more questions?” She said and I shook my head even if there was a millions of them spinning around in it. The trees and the houses disappeared and suddenly I was back in Chloe´s apartment. In the living room everything looked just like before except her mother didn´t look as kind as when I had met her for the first time.
“I am home.” Chloe screamed and walked right through me. Her mother looked up and for a second I thought she could see me but then she looked down on her magazine again.
“Did you buy milk like I told you to?” Chloe´s mother asked.
“No there wasn´t any left.” Chloe said and walked into the living room.
“Are you joking? If I tell you to buy milk you buy milk that´s how it is. Come over here.” She screamed and Chloe slowly walked over to her mum. The mum raised her hand and just when I thought she was going to give Chloe a hug she bitch clapped her. Just like in movies, this was insane. I knew her dad had hit her once but now twice, I couldn´t help but wonder how many times did they hit Chloe? Chloe didn´t run away like I thought she would she just stood there and looked at her mum, like she was waiting for more.
“Next time it will be much worse.” Her mother said before she ran into her little princess room.
“Amy if you wouldn´t have been there this would have happened and if you wouldn´t have gotten into her life she would live a crazy life. Because right after she had told you she stood up to them. That´s why they left. That girl could become a lawyer.” Grandma said and smiled. But I couldn´t answer, my whole body was shaking and it made me want to throw up when I thought about what horrible life Chloe must have had.
“Grandma, did Chloe´s parents hit her before I had gotten here too?” I asked after a while and I didn´t know if I wanted to know the answer or not.
“Yes they did. I am so sorry honey.” Grandma said and I started crying. I started crying because Chloe hadn´t trust me enough to tell me. I started crying because I felt so bad for her. I started crying because of that I was such a dumbass that I hadn´t noticed. I started crying because I was the worst friend ever. But most of all I started crying because I knew I couldn´t die, I had to go back there and be strong for Chloe. Grandma hugged me and I wanted the hug to last forever but of course it didn´t. Grandma had to let go.
“We have two more places to visit before you leave.” She said and I nodded. The nice little fake apartment started disappearing and suddenly I was many years back. The mountains, the snow, the smell of the ocean, this was where I had met Summer for the first time. Then I saw her, she came walking just like that day except this time I wasn´t there. This time I wasn´t there to stop her. Summer didn´t even hesitate she took a big jump and started falling. She fell so fast and in a minute she had hit the water. It swallowed her like she was a piece of candy. I waited for her little brown hair to show up but there was nothing. If I hadn´t been walking here that day Summer would have been dead. Summer Wilson would have been dead. That means that even if I killed Niall I saved her.
“You saved her Amy.” Grandma said and smiled. I couldn´t say anything, I didn´t know why I was speechless I just was. Maybe it was because I had just seen my living friend die, maybe it was because I was lying in coma but at the same time I was with my grandma.. Or maybe it just was because I knew that I had done something right in my life.
“Let´s go to the last place.” Grandma said and even if I didn´t want to leave either this place or this feeling the mountains and the ocean disappeared. This time I was in the broom where I had seen Harry and Louis kiss for the first time.
“Harry, why didn´t you want to tell everyone about us? I hate to hide all the time.” Louis said.
“Well I like it like this. No hate you know. We will tell everyone when I am ready.” Harry said.
“You have said that in three years now I am so tired of waiting.” Louis screamed.
“I am sorry Louis. I love you okay?” Harry said and I gasped. What the hell was Harry doing? Three years!?
“Yeah well I don´t believe you. You sleep with girls every night and I am sure that in the end you will dump me and I will stand there alone waiting for you.” Louis screamed and ran away. The tears ran down Harry´s cheeks and I felt bad for them. I mean really bad for them.
“You helped them too Amy.” Grandma said and hugged me again. I couldn´t get enough of those hugs. Then I asked a question I really didn´t want to know the answer of.
“Grandma? If I wouldn´t have left, would I have been sitting in prison now?” I asked but grandma just smiled.
“That my dear I cannot answer. But I do know that you made many people a lot happier when you got here. You did not only change what I have shown you, some other examples are, you prevented Chloe getting pregnant with Zayn´s child and you made Liam get into the group instead of being alone. But the best thing honey is that you finally stood up for yourself when it comes to Summer. I am so proud of you honey.” Grandma said and a smile spread on my lips along with the feeling of being loved. I hugged grandma one more time as hard as I could, really hoped that if I would hug her hard enough she would come with me back to the real world.
“You are ready and remember that I will always watch over you. I love you sweetie pie.” Grandma said and before I had answered the walls and the little room I was standing in changed into a big room with yellow walls and a huge flower was standing in front of me. All around me people were sitting and it made me feel warm inside. I didn´t care about the hard bed I was lying in, I didn´t care about the pain that was killing me from the inside. All I cared about was that this many people were sitting around me and actually caring for me.
“She is awake!” Chloe screamed and was the first one to hug me, then they came one by one and it was practically everyone I know even my parents and Summer. It was everyone except the one person I really wanted to see. It was everyone but Niall.
“Amy cutie?” The voice was back and this time I almost recognized it. It sounded just like…grandma. There she was with the grey hair and the green eyes just like I had remembered her. I ran towards her and hugged her as hard as I could. The smell of apple and cinnamon embraced me and spread joy and happiness in my stomach.
“Where am I grandma? Am I dead?” I asked and she laughed. I had missed that laugh so much.
“Sweetheart you are not dead, you are in coma and there is some things you need to see before you go back to the earth.” She said and sat down on the grass.
“But grandma, you don´t know what I have done. It´s horrible and I don´t deserve to go back there. I deserve to die.” I said and grandma got serious. She squeezed my hands and looked deep into my eyes.
“Honey, you do not deserve to die. Don´t say that about yourself. You have made some mistakes but who haven´t? I mean everything you have done since that day you hit him was for others. You have to know that everything isn´t your fault.” She said but I wouldn´t listen, she was wrong. I had hurt so many people since I have got here, for what reason? None.
“Your wrong and yes I can give you examples. For starters you know when Summer and I set up that plan to hurt Harry and Louis. I did that all for me.” I said and just the memory made tears start burning in my eyes.
“Do you remember what you did more that evening?” Grandma asked and the grey eyes made the burning leave and suddenly I realized it. I wanted to die, with no Niall there waiting for me I had no reason to live. I wanted to go with grandma to whatever heaven or whatever hell there was waiting for me.
“Grandma I want to go with you” I said instead of answering the question and grandma looked annoyed.
“Do you remember what you did more that evening, sweetheart?” She asked and the grey eyes drilled into me.
“Well I didn´t do much…or when I think about it I saved Chloe from Zayn.” I said and grandma nodded happily.
“Exactly, I want you to see how much good you have done since you got here. What we are going to see now is how everything would be if you wouldn´t have gotten here.” Grandma said and I looked confused around. Everything was changing, the big field got replaced by houses and trees and I was back at the first day or the first night actually in this town. We were back to the night I met Harry for the first time. It was at the exact same time, at the exact same day I just knew it. Then I saw Harry, he came walking towards the bench I had sat on but there was no one there. Instead of stopping like he had done that night he continued walking. Then he stopped right in front of a man with dark hair and piercings all over his face. The creepy man wore a big black sweatshirt and pants that had been showing the whole guy´s as, if it wasn´t for the underpants. He gave Harry something that looked awfully much like drugs. Was Harry taking drugs? He stopped for a while to talk with the creepy man but I couldn´t hear that much of what they said. But I could see that it was not nice things. A sting of helplessness rose up in my stomach when the creepy man hit Harry right in the face. Just when I thought Harry would pass out and die he got up on his feet started hitting the creepy man until he laid on the ground with a pretty bad nose and blood everywhere. When both of them had disappeared from the place I couldn´t quit starring at it. What had just happened?
“I am sure you have a lot of questions but we don´t have much time so you only get to ask three of them.” Grandma said and I bit my tongue I sucked at picking out things like this. But I needed answers so I was not going to argue against it.
“What has this to do with me?” I asked and grandma smiled.
“You saved that young man from buying those drugs and from fighting the other guy. You saved him from a miserable world.” She said but I didn´t understand. What had I done?
“But I didn´t do anything.” I said for myself.
“Yes you did honey. You said that he was perfect and the way you looked at him. No one had looked at him that way before. Not even Louis, not his mother. He felt appreciated for the first time of his life.” She said and then I understood it all but I still didn´t get why I was the warmhearted girl.
“Okay so I helped him, but first of all it wasn´t on purpose and second of all that was only one person. If you count up how many I have hurt it´s not even close.” I said and grandma sighed.
“Well shall we go to the next one then? No more questions?” She said and I shook my head even if there was a millions of them spinning around in it. The trees and the houses disappeared and suddenly I was back in Chloe´s apartment. In the living room everything looked just like before except her mother didn´t look as kind as when I had met her for the first time.
“I am home.” Chloe screamed and walked right through me. Her mother looked up and for a second I thought she could see me but then she looked down on her magazine again.
“Did you buy milk like I told you to?” Chloe´s mother asked.
“No there wasn´t any left.” Chloe said and walked into the living room.
“Are you joking? If I tell you to buy milk you buy milk that´s how it is. Come over here.” She screamed and Chloe slowly walked over to her mum. The mum raised her hand and just when I thought she was going to give Chloe a hug she bitch clapped her. Just like in movies, this was insane. I knew her dad had hit her once but now twice, I couldn´t help but wonder how many times did they hit Chloe? Chloe didn´t run away like I thought she would she just stood there and looked at her mum, like she was waiting for more.
“Next time it will be much worse.” Her mother said before she ran into her little princess room.
“Amy if you wouldn´t have been there this would have happened and if you wouldn´t have gotten into her life she would live a crazy life. Because right after she had told you she stood up to them. That´s why they left. That girl could become a lawyer.” Grandma said and smiled. But I couldn´t answer, my whole body was shaking and it made me want to throw up when I thought about what horrible life Chloe must have had.
“Grandma, did Chloe´s parents hit her before I had gotten here too?” I asked after a while and I didn´t know if I wanted to know the answer or not.
“Yes they did. I am so sorry honey.” Grandma said and I started crying. I started crying because Chloe hadn´t trust me enough to tell me. I started crying because I felt so bad for her. I started crying because of that I was such a dumbass that I hadn´t noticed. I started crying because I was the worst friend ever. But most of all I started crying because I knew I couldn´t die, I had to go back there and be strong for Chloe. Grandma hugged me and I wanted the hug to last forever but of course it didn´t. Grandma had to let go.
“We have two more places to visit before you leave.” She said and I nodded. The nice little fake apartment started disappearing and suddenly I was many years back. The mountains, the snow, the smell of the ocean, this was where I had met Summer for the first time. Then I saw her, she came walking just like that day except this time I wasn´t there. This time I wasn´t there to stop her. Summer didn´t even hesitate she took a big jump and started falling. She fell so fast and in a minute she had hit the water. It swallowed her like she was a piece of candy. I waited for her little brown hair to show up but there was nothing. If I hadn´t been walking here that day Summer would have been dead. Summer Wilson would have been dead. That means that even if I killed Niall I saved her.
“You saved her Amy.” Grandma said and smiled. I couldn´t say anything, I didn´t know why I was speechless I just was. Maybe it was because I had just seen my living friend die, maybe it was because I was lying in coma but at the same time I was with my grandma.. Or maybe it just was because I knew that I had done something right in my life.
“Let´s go to the last place.” Grandma said and even if I didn´t want to leave either this place or this feeling the mountains and the ocean disappeared. This time I was in the broom where I had seen Harry and Louis kiss for the first time.
“Harry, why didn´t you want to tell everyone about us? I hate to hide all the time.” Louis said.
“Well I like it like this. No hate you know. We will tell everyone when I am ready.” Harry said.
“You have said that in three years now I am so tired of waiting.” Louis screamed.
“I am sorry Louis. I love you okay?” Harry said and I gasped. What the hell was Harry doing? Three years!?
“Yeah well I don´t believe you. You sleep with girls every night and I am sure that in the end you will dump me and I will stand there alone waiting for you.” Louis screamed and ran away. The tears ran down Harry´s cheeks and I felt bad for them. I mean really bad for them.
“You helped them too Amy.” Grandma said and hugged me again. I couldn´t get enough of those hugs. Then I asked a question I really didn´t want to know the answer of.
“Grandma? If I wouldn´t have left, would I have been sitting in prison now?” I asked but grandma just smiled.
“That my dear I cannot answer. But I do know that you made many people a lot happier when you got here. You did not only change what I have shown you, some other examples are, you prevented Chloe getting pregnant with Zayn´s child and you made Liam get into the group instead of being alone. But the best thing honey is that you finally stood up for yourself when it comes to Summer. I am so proud of you honey.” Grandma said and a smile spread on my lips along with the feeling of being loved. I hugged grandma one more time as hard as I could, really hoped that if I would hug her hard enough she would come with me back to the real world.
“You are ready and remember that I will always watch over you. I love you sweetie pie.” Grandma said and before I had answered the walls and the little room I was standing in changed into a big room with yellow walls and a huge flower was standing in front of me. All around me people were sitting and it made me feel warm inside. I didn´t care about the hard bed I was lying in, I didn´t care about the pain that was killing me from the inside. All I cared about was that this many people were sitting around me and actually caring for me.
“She is awake!” Chloe screamed and was the first one to hug me, then they came one by one and it was practically everyone I know even my parents and Summer. It was everyone except the one person I really wanted to see. It was everyone but Niall.
Notes
Hello everyone! I am so sorry for my low updating. But I really didn´t have any time. I hung out with friends and stuff. Anyway hope you liked this one/ kisses EDo you think Niall survived?
How do you think Amy got to the hospital?
@stolemyheart
Did you die because of your beauty or something? :0
4/27/14