The new start
Chapter fifty-six, "Romeo and Juliet"
“Niall, do you know why Amy moved here?” Summer asked and I looked shocked up on her. She wouldn´t dare to tell him. But I knew she would. I had to do something and I had to do it fast. But I couldn´t concentrate all I could see was the large amount of blood that was running from his arm and colored the floor red. All I could think of was that I had done it. Maybe Summer had forced me but still, I was capable of doing things like that. Niall had started to look a little pale and that didn´t make me feel less guilty. What if Summer continued to do this until he died? What if I was about to become a murderer all over again. I shuddered, I had to do something, anything!
“Okay Summer, You have made your point we don´t know each other. Please stop.” I said but Summer just laughed. Somehow I have to reah out to her, I had no idea how I was going to use the fact that she love me. But it can´t be love it has to be something else. Because you don´t do this to someone you love.
“Shut up! Niall answer.” She said and I saw how her eyes dug into Niall´s head and filled it with hate. I saw it but I couldn´t do anything about it. But Niall kept looking at me, he was still smiling. I just felt how wrong this all was, why did I had to drag him into this? Why couldn´t I have just stayed in Reading? Everything would have been so much easier if I would. I realized it again, this was all my fault. I was the one Summer wanted and she used Niall to get me.
“I don´t know maybe her parents forced her.” Niall said and when he said the words I started crying, it wasn´t the usual crying when blue tears just fell down from your cheek and you are sad. No it was a totally different one. I started screaming because it hurt so much. I felt so sick and so god damn tired of all this that I just wanted to puke on everything. Especially myself. I wanted to erase my past, I wanted to make my parents never have me. This world, would have been so much easier with me gone.
“Amy should you tell him or should I?” Summer asked and I kept screaming. It felt like someone was digging into me with a knife, cutting my soul in millions of pieces. Maybe this is how it feels to die, I thought. Die of sadness. I pictured my gravestone, it would be a massive grey one, just like my grandmothers. Someone would have engraved “beloved daughter, friend and idiot” on it, maybe even murderer. Or no not murderer, always when someone die you remember the good things so that person seems like an angel. My funeral would be small, it would be my dad and Summer pretty much. The rest wouldn´t come, I had betrayed and lied to them too many times. It was just the ones that were worse than me that would come. Suddenly the pain stopped, the knife was done cutting my soul and I was back to reality with two persons staring at me for an answer. One that I hate and one that I love, pathetic.
“I will.” I said and looked into Niall´s blue eyes. Somewhere inside of me I knew that the butterflies were they just didn´t have anywhere to fly. Everything was just broke inside of me, even my soul.
“My life back in Reading was pure hell. After years of having my father as my best friend suddenly he didn´t want to talk to me. It was half a year after I had met Summer. I have found out now that Summer raped him and he felt bad for it. You might think that was the worst thing Summer did but then you are wrong. She made me sleep with all kinds of men so that we could tape it and then maybe send them to prison. What she didn´t know was that I didn´t sleep with them I just pretended to. But I am not a virgin, Harry took it. A month ago it was my turn again to sleep with someone only this time Summer was the one that was going to film it. I couldn´t fake it when she was watching. It was just impossible so I told her that I didn´t want to. But of course she didn´t accept that and neither did the guy. I was drunk and miserable and I acted in the moment. Not that it´s any excuse but I punched him with a stone. He fell into the water and I escaped because I thought he had died. I was scared and alone. But turns out Summer just made me think so, this whole time he was alive, haunting me. He forgave me and that´s the only time since I met Summer I was proud of myself. Because you know what Summer, you can play all cool and hurt everyone around you but the truth is that you can never escape yourself. You can never erase your past and it will always be a part of you. I know that you will die a lonely life and I will never forgive you. Never ever stand by your side again if you kill him.” The words just bubbled out of me and I saw that Summer lost her way for just a minute. But then the confidence was back in her eyes. But I didn´t care how she felt all I cared about was how Niall felt. He started to look paler and paler and I couldn´t handle it. I hurried to take of my shirt and wrapped it around his arm.
“Oh, how cute? Little Amy saves little Niall´s life.” Summer said but I could hear that she had gotten a little affected of my words. But the truth was I didn´t care that I had affected Summer, my last wish on this damn earth was that Niall would be okay. I squeezed his hand and saw how he fought to not pass out.
“Amy, we all make mistakes. You could have told me.” He whispered and I squeezed his hand harder. I tried to not start crying, I had to be strong.
“I know. I was just so scared that you would leave when you found out what a horrible person I am.” I said and I couldn´t keep it inside anymore. The tears poured down my cheeks and the little that was left of my broken heart screamed for help.
“It will be okay. I am here now.” He said and closed his eyes.
“No, Niall stay here with me. I love you, okay? We will get through this.” I screamed and Niall opened his eyes again. The blue eyes looked tired and I wondered how much blood he had lost. I can´t be the one that killed him, I just can´t, I thought and suddenly it was hard to breathe. It felt like there was no oxygen in the air and my lungs pursed together.
“Enough. I am the boss here, okay?” Summer screamed and it felt like the whole room started shaking.
“Good, well Amy it looks like you killed him, remember you did I didn´t.” She said and it just made me angrier.
“First of all he is not dead and second of all… I just... you are a bitch.” I screamed but Summer just laughed.
“You said you wouldn´t forgive me but why would I care about your forgiveness?” Summer asked and now it was my turn to laugh.
“Because I am your vulnerable spot.” I said and Summer froze before she slowly turned around with a pale face.
“What did you just say?” She asked and it just made me laugh even louder.
“You heard me, I said I am your vulnerable spot. I am the thing you would do anything for.”
“Is that right?” Summer asked and laughed. But her laugh sounded false and thin. I knew that I had found it, I had found a way. I just hoped it wasn´t too late.
“Yeah, otherwise you wouldn´t make such a big deal of having me alone.” I said and Summer sat down in front of me. I could see that she was crying. But I didn´t even feel a sting sorry for her. She had given up to try deny it, which was a good start.
“But Amy don´t you see it. You and I belong together.” She said and grabbed my hands. But I pulled hers away. She freaked me out.
“No we don´t. I am not a crazy psychopath like you. Summer I will never love you, okay? Just let me and Niall go.” I said and looked down on the pale Niall. I knew it was harsh words that I said but right now I really needed to get Niall to a hospital. I would do anything to get him with me.
“No you won´t let you leave. Not with the man you love. You will sit here and watch him die, slowly. Just like I have to do. You never gave me a chance you know. Maybe things would have been different if you just would but now you haven´t.” She said and my hope sank inside of me. Even if it was two against one Niall was weak and would just slow me down. Maybe just I could leave but I didn´t want to leave Niall alone. I looked down at Niall and squeezed his hands harder, they felt cold and lax against my skin.
“Niall are you there?” I screamed with no response.
“Niall can you hear me?” I screamed again but no response this time either. I had killed him. Niall Horan was dead, the love of my life was dead and it was my fault. But it was Summer´s too.
“How could you?” I screamed and stood up before I started hitting her. It felt good to just punsh her, hard and to let all my anger out. But then I remembered my dad´s words when I was a little kid “don´t sink as low as the lowest one, try to make it better instead.” I stopped hitting her and instead I took the knife in my hands.
“Are you going to kill yourself for him, like Romeo and Juliet? How romantic of you.” Summer said and started laughing. But when I started cutting myself hard and she stopped.
“Amy you are not serious are you?” She screamed but I continued. All I had in my mind was that this was all my fault. I deserved the pain that was going through my body. I deserved how the blood oozed out from my arms. When I had almost cut my whole arm I felt how everything got blurry. I felt how the pain took over and then I felt the cold floor under me and Niall´s cold body beside me. That was the last thing I felt, the smell of Niall´s perfume and his blond hair against my skin. Then everything got black.
“Okay Summer, You have made your point we don´t know each other. Please stop.” I said but Summer just laughed. Somehow I have to reah out to her, I had no idea how I was going to use the fact that she love me. But it can´t be love it has to be something else. Because you don´t do this to someone you love.
“Shut up! Niall answer.” She said and I saw how her eyes dug into Niall´s head and filled it with hate. I saw it but I couldn´t do anything about it. But Niall kept looking at me, he was still smiling. I just felt how wrong this all was, why did I had to drag him into this? Why couldn´t I have just stayed in Reading? Everything would have been so much easier if I would. I realized it again, this was all my fault. I was the one Summer wanted and she used Niall to get me.
“I don´t know maybe her parents forced her.” Niall said and when he said the words I started crying, it wasn´t the usual crying when blue tears just fell down from your cheek and you are sad. No it was a totally different one. I started screaming because it hurt so much. I felt so sick and so god damn tired of all this that I just wanted to puke on everything. Especially myself. I wanted to erase my past, I wanted to make my parents never have me. This world, would have been so much easier with me gone.
“Amy should you tell him or should I?” Summer asked and I kept screaming. It felt like someone was digging into me with a knife, cutting my soul in millions of pieces. Maybe this is how it feels to die, I thought. Die of sadness. I pictured my gravestone, it would be a massive grey one, just like my grandmothers. Someone would have engraved “beloved daughter, friend and idiot” on it, maybe even murderer. Or no not murderer, always when someone die you remember the good things so that person seems like an angel. My funeral would be small, it would be my dad and Summer pretty much. The rest wouldn´t come, I had betrayed and lied to them too many times. It was just the ones that were worse than me that would come. Suddenly the pain stopped, the knife was done cutting my soul and I was back to reality with two persons staring at me for an answer. One that I hate and one that I love, pathetic.
“I will.” I said and looked into Niall´s blue eyes. Somewhere inside of me I knew that the butterflies were they just didn´t have anywhere to fly. Everything was just broke inside of me, even my soul.
“My life back in Reading was pure hell. After years of having my father as my best friend suddenly he didn´t want to talk to me. It was half a year after I had met Summer. I have found out now that Summer raped him and he felt bad for it. You might think that was the worst thing Summer did but then you are wrong. She made me sleep with all kinds of men so that we could tape it and then maybe send them to prison. What she didn´t know was that I didn´t sleep with them I just pretended to. But I am not a virgin, Harry took it. A month ago it was my turn again to sleep with someone only this time Summer was the one that was going to film it. I couldn´t fake it when she was watching. It was just impossible so I told her that I didn´t want to. But of course she didn´t accept that and neither did the guy. I was drunk and miserable and I acted in the moment. Not that it´s any excuse but I punched him with a stone. He fell into the water and I escaped because I thought he had died. I was scared and alone. But turns out Summer just made me think so, this whole time he was alive, haunting me. He forgave me and that´s the only time since I met Summer I was proud of myself. Because you know what Summer, you can play all cool and hurt everyone around you but the truth is that you can never escape yourself. You can never erase your past and it will always be a part of you. I know that you will die a lonely life and I will never forgive you. Never ever stand by your side again if you kill him.” The words just bubbled out of me and I saw that Summer lost her way for just a minute. But then the confidence was back in her eyes. But I didn´t care how she felt all I cared about was how Niall felt. He started to look paler and paler and I couldn´t handle it. I hurried to take of my shirt and wrapped it around his arm.
“Oh, how cute? Little Amy saves little Niall´s life.” Summer said but I could hear that she had gotten a little affected of my words. But the truth was I didn´t care that I had affected Summer, my last wish on this damn earth was that Niall would be okay. I squeezed his hand and saw how he fought to not pass out.
“Amy, we all make mistakes. You could have told me.” He whispered and I squeezed his hand harder. I tried to not start crying, I had to be strong.
“I know. I was just so scared that you would leave when you found out what a horrible person I am.” I said and I couldn´t keep it inside anymore. The tears poured down my cheeks and the little that was left of my broken heart screamed for help.
“It will be okay. I am here now.” He said and closed his eyes.
“No, Niall stay here with me. I love you, okay? We will get through this.” I screamed and Niall opened his eyes again. The blue eyes looked tired and I wondered how much blood he had lost. I can´t be the one that killed him, I just can´t, I thought and suddenly it was hard to breathe. It felt like there was no oxygen in the air and my lungs pursed together.
“Enough. I am the boss here, okay?” Summer screamed and it felt like the whole room started shaking.
“Good, well Amy it looks like you killed him, remember you did I didn´t.” She said and it just made me angrier.
“First of all he is not dead and second of all… I just... you are a bitch.” I screamed but Summer just laughed.
“You said you wouldn´t forgive me but why would I care about your forgiveness?” Summer asked and now it was my turn to laugh.
“Because I am your vulnerable spot.” I said and Summer froze before she slowly turned around with a pale face.
“What did you just say?” She asked and it just made me laugh even louder.
“You heard me, I said I am your vulnerable spot. I am the thing you would do anything for.”
“Is that right?” Summer asked and laughed. But her laugh sounded false and thin. I knew that I had found it, I had found a way. I just hoped it wasn´t too late.
“Yeah, otherwise you wouldn´t make such a big deal of having me alone.” I said and Summer sat down in front of me. I could see that she was crying. But I didn´t even feel a sting sorry for her. She had given up to try deny it, which was a good start.
“But Amy don´t you see it. You and I belong together.” She said and grabbed my hands. But I pulled hers away. She freaked me out.
“No we don´t. I am not a crazy psychopath like you. Summer I will never love you, okay? Just let me and Niall go.” I said and looked down on the pale Niall. I knew it was harsh words that I said but right now I really needed to get Niall to a hospital. I would do anything to get him with me.
“No you won´t let you leave. Not with the man you love. You will sit here and watch him die, slowly. Just like I have to do. You never gave me a chance you know. Maybe things would have been different if you just would but now you haven´t.” She said and my hope sank inside of me. Even if it was two against one Niall was weak and would just slow me down. Maybe just I could leave but I didn´t want to leave Niall alone. I looked down at Niall and squeezed his hands harder, they felt cold and lax against my skin.
“Niall are you there?” I screamed with no response.
“Niall can you hear me?” I screamed again but no response this time either. I had killed him. Niall Horan was dead, the love of my life was dead and it was my fault. But it was Summer´s too.
“How could you?” I screamed and stood up before I started hitting her. It felt good to just punsh her, hard and to let all my anger out. But then I remembered my dad´s words when I was a little kid “don´t sink as low as the lowest one, try to make it better instead.” I stopped hitting her and instead I took the knife in my hands.
“Are you going to kill yourself for him, like Romeo and Juliet? How romantic of you.” Summer said and started laughing. But when I started cutting myself hard and she stopped.
“Amy you are not serious are you?” She screamed but I continued. All I had in my mind was that this was all my fault. I deserved the pain that was going through my body. I deserved how the blood oozed out from my arms. When I had almost cut my whole arm I felt how everything got blurry. I felt how the pain took over and then I felt the cold floor under me and Niall´s cold body beside me. That was the last thing I felt, the smell of Niall´s perfume and his blond hair against my skin. Then everything got black.
Notes
Hello! Sorry to leave you like this but I am not sure if I will have the time to write more today :o Hope you liked it anyway, kisses/ EWhat do you think Summer will do?
What do you think will happen with Amy and Niall?
@stolemyheart
Did you die because of your beauty or something? :0
4/27/14