"Why would you snowboard? It's so much harder than skiing." I questioned Harry as we went up the skii lift.

He laughed, "Skiing's for girls."

I raised my eyebrows with my jaw slightly dropped, "And I guess snowboarding is for sexist men." Harry just shrugged with a grin plastered on his face. So I continued, "Or men who are unconfident within their sexuality."

He rolled his eyes, "I thought we'd been through this already. I wear purple, remember? I'm perfectly confident within my sexuality."

I shrugged, "You never know."

He laughed, "If you didn't kiss me last night, I'd think you wanted me to be gay, what with all the comments on my sexuality."

My jaw dropped once again, "I kissed you?"

He looked at me with mock confusion, "Isn't that what happened?"

I laughed, "I believe you kissed me, Mr.Styles."

He leaned over, leaving less than a few centimeters between our faces, "What? Like this?" And then he leaned over and captured my lips in his. Only, it wasn't like the night before. His lips weren't as soft and hesitant, and he definitely lingered for longer. Long enough for me to grab a hold of his skii jacket, right by his waist.

He was the one to pull away, and I unclenched the hand that was tightly gripping his jacket, embarrassed by my hasty actions. He must have seen it written on my face because he laughed and gave me a light peck on the lips, "Stop being so shy; It's only you and me. It's silly to be embarrassed by a small action like that, Av."

I laughed after a second, to hide my discomfort. To be honest, I didn't know why I was feeling uncomfortable. In the last month and a half, I hadn't once thought about what I said or did. So why did I care about grabbing Harry's jacket?

When the skii lift glided to the ground, and I skiied off, I put my finger on what was bothering me; I cared what Harry thought of me.

I care about if he thought I was moving too fast. I care about if I screwed up this little thing we had going on, no matter how temporary it may be. It definitely took a lot to make me care about what someone thought since the beginning of my journey. It was as if, when I started, I realized I really didn't have anything to lose.

Harry nudged me, bringing me out of my thoughts. He had a smile on his face as he pulled his skii goggles over his eyes, "Race you to the bottom?"

I grinned at the word of a challenge. I pulled on my own goggles and said, "It's on." Completely forgetting the perplex my mind had been in a second ago.

We took off down the hill at the same time. I was surprised that Harry was keeping up with me, because snowboarders normally go down much slower than skiiers. Harry, however, was doing the falling leaf technique that most snowboarders did when going downhill, but his snowboard was pointed forward, and he was making this an even race.

I grinned and used my poles to push me faster. A similar grin was plastered on his face, and his eyes were narrowed as we continued down the hill. He started to gain on me, going faster than before.

Then he hit a patch of ice, slowed down significantly and hit a tree.

I immediately stopped, and fell to the ground in laughter.

I knew that I should be checking to see if he was okay, but the ice had slowed him down significantly so, the impact of the tree couldn't have been that bad. He was fine, but the whole scene was funny as hell. It was straight out of a cartoon, the way he bounced back into the snow, and the surprised look on his face. Thinking about it only made me laugh harder.

I heard him snowboard up beside me, "Yes, Ha Ha, very funny. Lets go."

He was clearly embarrassed and I probably shouldn't have been laughing as hard as I was, but every time I tried to stop, I remembered him hitting the tree and another round of hysterics came over me. I finally sobered up when I heard him start to snowboard away.

I got to my feet, the occasional chuckle still slipping out of my mouth, but mostly composed. He wasn't going fast, so he wasn't trying to get away from me. He just wanted me to follow. I caught up with him in a few seconds and turned him to face me.

A blush was burning bright red on his cheeks, and I felt bad for laughing so much, now that I could clearly see his embarrassment, "I'm sorry for laughing at you." I said.

He just shrugged and said, "Okay, lets keep going."

I didn't want him to sulk. He could sulk when he wasn't with me, in New Zealand, but he wasn't wasting time sulking here. I pulled him close and planted a soft kiss on his lips, and when I pulled away I said, "It's silly to be embarrassed by an action like that, Harry." Slightly mimicking him.

He laughed softly, but the blush was still on his cheeks. He cocked his head down the slope, signalling that we should keep going. He was softly smiling now, so we could go. It took us around five minutes to reach the bottom. We didn't race though; Harry didn't suggest it, and I decided after what happened, I shouldn't suggest it either.

We decided to get some hot chocolate at the little cafe at the bottom of the slope. We seated ourselves, and I didn't hesitate in ordering a medium hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. Harry smiled at me and then ordered the same.

I stared out of the window at all of the skiiers out there, and wondered if they were local. And if not, then what brought them to New Zealand.

"Av, how long do you plan on staying in New Zealand?" Harry asked suddenly, with a serious face.

I bit my lip, "Until tomorrow, I think."

He nodded, as if he expected this answer from me, "Right. Where are you doing next?"

"France."

He smiled slightly, but the smile was tinged with a little bit of sadness, "One of your things are in France?" I just nodded. He continued, "You have seven left, right?"

I shook my head, "Actually, six. I did two here."

"What were they?"

"Um, to skii in New Zealand." I said, wishing I never told him I did two.

"And?" He prompted.
I bit my lip with a smile, "I can't tell you."

He laughed, "Why not? It's just me. Tell me."

"In another life, maybe." I said, not wanting to tell him the embarrassing thing I fulfilled the night before.

At that moment, the waitress came with our hot chocolate, hopefully distracting Harry from the subject completely. The whipped cream was piled high, like a mini replica of the mountain in my cup. I wasted no time in eating it all.

Harry laughed, "The whipped cream isn't running anywhere, Avia."

"Whatever, Harry, It looks good. Why would I wait to eat it?" I said, with a little chuckle.

He just shrugged with a smiled and started drinking his chocolate. There was a pleasant silence between us before Harry spoke up again, "So, tomorrow, I go back to the UK?"

He was asking me if he was coming to France. "Yeah, you go back to the UK."

He sighed deeply, "So that's it then. This is really ending with New Zealand."

I cleared my throat, hoping that I could clear away the sadness that was bound to come out in my words, "That's the plan."

He smiled a soft sad smile, "That sucks, Av. I really like you."

"I really like you, too." I said, never wanting him to think any differently. He was slowly attaching himself to me, but that exactly why this had to end, I had to remove him before he was fully connected, and It was impossible to remove, anymore.

"Then stay with me." And those four words that he said so urgently, broke my heart. I swore I heard the crack. Especially because I knew my next two words would break his.

"I can't." I said, quietly and lamely.

He shrugged, "Okay, I'm not going to fight you on it, Avia." He quietly sipped his hot chocolate, and I could see him becoming sulky - something I wasn't going to allow.
I touched a hand to his cheek, "Be happy, Harry. Please. You can be sad after we say goodbye, okay?"

He nodded and his lips turned up slightly at the corners, "Enjoy it while it lasts, right?" I nodded.

We payed for the hot chocolates and decided to do a little shopping. Partly because Harry loved to walk up and down the streets of the town. I think that the way the people there interacted intrigued him. I also wanted to buy at least one thing that would remind me of New Zealand, and Harry, for the next three weeks of my journey.

We were in a small clothing boutique, and I was looking through some shops when I turned to Harry. He didn't know I was looking at him, so it seemed as if he let his guard down, and was wearing the saddest of expressions, mixed in with wistfulness. It couldn't continue, or I'd break.

I strode over to him, and grabbed the collar of his jacket, bringing him down to kiss me. When I pulled away, the smile was back, and I was satisfied. This happened a few times throughout the day. I was kissing the sadness away, even if it was only temporary relief.

After going through a few shops, Harry and I went into a small gift shop. I'd been wondering around, when Harry came up to me with the biggest grin on his face; He was holding a snow globe in his hand, with a little sheep in the middle. I laughed at the obvious satisfaction he got from the small novelty, and I bought it in a heartbeat. It would remind me of Harry every time I looked at it.

We were walking through the streets, not going anywhere in particular, when Harry turned to me and said, "Hey, I hear there's a band playing tonight. Want to go?"

I smiled, "You don't know anyone here, how could you possibly 'hear' that?"

He laughed, "I have my ways, Av. So, do you want to go or not?"

"Which band?"

"Paramore, I think."

I stopped in my tracks, my jaw dropping at the same time, "Harold Edward Styles. That is one of my all time favorite bands, ever. Ever."

He grinned, "So that's a yes then?"I nodded my head vigorously, and he laughed at me. "So do you just want to go straight there then? It starts in like, half an hour, and I know you don't want to miss a minute of it."

I bit my lip. I needed to take my medicine. I shook my head, "Nah, can we stop by the hotel first?"

He creased his eyebrows, "Avia, you look pretty. You don't need to change or anything."

I didn't want him to think I was just being difficult, but I couldn't tell him the real reason why we were going back; that would just raise a whole lot of questions I didn't plan on answering, so I just shook my head, "I really want to go back to the hotel."

He sighed, "Okay, Av. But if we're late, you can't complain."

When we got back I went to the bathroom, and changed my clothes, even though I didn't really need to. I needed to cover up what I was really doing. While in the bathroom I took my little pill, and gave myself my injection, then put everything back away.

When I came out, Harry was on the bed on the laptop. "Av, what time is your flight tomorrow?"

I creased my eyebrows, "Ten I think, why?"

He clicked a few times and then shut it, "Cause I just booked my flight, and I didn't want it to be too much earlier than yours. It's at nine."

I nodded while biting my lip, because if I'd spoken at that moment, my throat would have been thick from unshed tears, and I didn't want this night to be sad.

We left moments after that, jumping in a cab instead of walking. When we got to the stadium, the air was electric with excitement. We had to wait in line for over ten minutes, and the entire time I was jumping up and down or tugging on Harry's hand with impatience. He just kept looking at me and laughing at my antics.

When we finally got in, the the crowd was chanting the bands name and people were grinning and laughing. A grin spread across my face.

Harry smiled and asked, "Do you want a beer?" How badly I wanted a beer to complete the Rock concert experience, but I could mix it with my medicine. I reluctantly shook my head and

Harry nodded, "Alright. Well, go find our seats and I'll meet you there."

I weaved through the crowds of people until I found our spot. Harry had gotten us a place close to the stage, but with cushioned seats. I was surprised he did this well with tickets on such short notice.

The band was just walking on stage when Harry appeared next to me with his beer in hand. He grinned at me when I started screaming my head off.

Throughout the entire performance I was singing my heart out to all the songs that I knew, and screaming at the top of my lungs when a song I didn't know came on. It was amazing. I was jumping up and down and dancing. I was having the most amazing time, until the band was in the middle of 'Misery Business.' and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breath.

I sat down quickly, suddenly grateful that Harry had gotten us tickets with seats. I was breathing short quick breaths and my heart was racing. I felt like I'd just run a marathon. I wanted to press a hand to my chest but I was afraid Harry might turn around and ask what was wrong.

They said that this was one of the side effects of the medicine I was taking, so it wasn't unexpected, but it had just come on so quickly. It left just as fast as it'd come, though. All at once, my breath went back to normal, and my heartbeat was regular.

Harry turned around and looked at me, confusion flooding his face. I just mouthed to him, 'Taking a break.' and added on a sweet smile at the end for good measure.

I really didn't want to bother him with any of my problems, especially if he was only going to be around for the rest of the night and the next morning. I stood back up, but I wasn't dancing around as much as I was just swaying to the music. I was tired.

I leaned on Harry was we walked through the crowd of people leaving the arena when the concert was finished. He leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on my temple, making me smile through my exhaustion.

Harry called a cab once we were outside. As it drove over he said, "Tired, babe?" I smiled and nodded. He smiled back at me, "Okay, we'll go back to the hotel then."

We got in the cab and I snuggled into Harry's side, while his arm was slung around me. I could have fallen asleep right then and there, until I realized something that made my mind alert - Harry had called me babe.

I'd always wanted someone to call me babe, or baby or even baby girl. For a second I was surprised that I didn't add it onto my list of things to do, until I remembered that the list was only things that I could influence - make happen. I couldn't make Harry call me babe, or baby. But he did, and it made me happy.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek - a silent thank you for a favor he would never know he paid me. He just smiled.

I didn't want to leave him. I really, really didn't. For the first time since the beginning of my trip, I was angry at my circumstances. I didn't want to leave him at all, and I was angry that I was forced to.

Because If I kept him, I hurt him, and I didn't want that either. But, logic was that, the longer I kept him, the more it would hurt to let him go. I was deciding to be selfless, and letting him go.

A tear escaped my eye, followed by another, and another. I turned to the window and focused on the blur of white outside the glass. I thought only of the snow, and the fact that I was in New Zealand, in an attempt to distract myself from the tears.

It worked, the tears slowed and eventually stopped. I reached a hand up to wipe away the remaining tears on my cheek, but then pushed some hair behind my ear to make the action look more discrete.

The cab pulled up the hotel and Harry let me out, then paid the driver. As soon as we had gotten inside, and there was light, Harry's face clouded with worry. One of his hands came up to touch my face, "Av, whats wrong?"

I creased my eyebrows in confusion, "What?"

He was now just as confused as I was, "Your make-up. It looks like you've been crying."

I brought a hand up to touch underneath my eye, and sure enough, my fingers came away smudged in black. I'd forgotten that I wasn't wearing waterproof mascara. "Oh! That. No, Harry," I laughed then continued, "I just put on the wrong mascara. This one is bad and runs whenever I go from cold to warm suddenly." Yes, It was a shitty excuse and made no sense, but I was praying that Harry knew so little about make up that he wouldn't question it.

He just nodded, "Okay." A second later he said, "You're sure you're okay then?"

I laughed and nodded, relief flooding me, "I'm fine."

Harry seemed to accept that I was telling the truth. A few seconds later, he smiled and said, "I really want to show you something, but we have to be quiet."

It sounded exciting, so I grinned and nodded, all my sadness vanished with the mention of something sneaky. Harry could cheer me up in heartbeat, without even knowing it.

He took my hand and lead me over to the front desk, where the manager was asleep. I creased my eyebrows and whispered to Harry, "He's not doing a very good job."

He laughed quietly, "Good. If he was, we wouldn't be able to get this."

He lead me into the back room, to a door that had a sign that read 'Employees only.' written in big bold letters. He quietly pushed the door open.

It was a room filled with personal belongings, that had little tags on them with peoples names. It seemed that this was the room where employees left their things while they were working for the day.

Harry moved towards the corner and picked up a guitar. I smiled; he was going to play for me.

As he was walking back towards me, the guitar hit over a tower of Jenga, making all the pieces fall to the floor, scattering and making as much noise as possible.

I don't know who the hell brought Jenga to work with them, and left a tower of it in the storage room, but the way that Harry froze in place - facial expression and all - was priceless. I had to press a hand to my mouth to smother the laughter. I mouthed to him, 'You klutz."

He unfroze after half a minute when It was clear that the manager hadn't woken up. A grin spread across his face, and he mouthed to me, 'Lets go.'

We tip-toe ran to the elevator, and as soon as we were safely in, with the doors closed, we both busted out in laughter and what had just happened. After we'd calmed down I said, "So you're going to play for me, huh?"

He nodded, "And teach you a little bit, maybe." That made a light bulb go off in my head. Number Ninety- Two: Learn to play the guitar. I nodded enthusiastically and he smiled, "I'll teach you an easy Taylor Swift song."

We went into our room and we sat on the bed. Harry held the guitar and patted the spot next to him, so I'd be sitting behind the fret board.

He wrapped his arm around me and reached for the third fret. He arranged his fingers and showed me, "This is G." I nodded and he moved his fingers, letting me try. We continued this as he showed me D, A minor, and C. Every time I started getting frustrated because my fingers would move to the next chord fast enough, Harry would smile and kiss me on the cheek, willing me to be patient.

When I was comfortable with the chords, we switched places and Harry taught me how to strum for the particular song he was teaching me. The strumming was pretty easy. Harry said it was because you strum with your right hand, which you use so much more than your left.

After a while, Harry handed me the guitar completely, and although I paused a lot of times, I got through the first verse and chorus of 'Speak Now - Taylor Swift.' I had the biggest grin on my face, and Harry wore one that matched. He leaned over and gave me a lingering kiss that left me wanting more. When he pulled away he said, "You're amazing; you learned so fast."

I blushed and smiled softly at his compliment, "You should probably sneak this back downstairs before someone misses it."

He laughed softly, "Yeah, I'll be right back." He picked up the guitar and hurried out of the room.
Once he was gone, took my medicine and started to have a shower. I'd put on my sleepwear, finished crossing out things on my list and was about to get into bed when he came back. He smiled softly and said, "You look sleepy, Av. Go to bed."

He gave me a kiss on my cheek on his way to the bathroom to have a shower. But when I lay down, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about how I'd have to leave him the next day. I bit my lip hard, to keep the tears from coming. I turned off the lights and lay, staring at ceiling and listening to the water of the shower.

When Harry came out, he went straight for the couch, where he'd slept the night before. But, right as he was about to get in his covers I called out, "Harry?"

"Av, I thought you were asleep. Whats up?" He asked from across the room.

"Can you sleep in the bed tonight?" I questioned quietly. I so desperately wanted to be close to him, for this last night. I wanted to fall asleep with him right next to me, so I he could be close all night.

He didn't hesitate when he said, "Of course, babe." He wanted to be close too.

He walked over, lifted up the covers and got comfortable. I immediately moved closer, and he wrapped his arms around me, his chin resting on my head.

I lifted my head up and kissed his jaw, "I don't want to leave you tomorrow."

He kissed my lips softly, "Then don't."

I frowned and put my hand at the back of his neck, playing with his hair, "I have to."

He sighed and kissed me again, "I know. I wish you didn't, for whatever reason."

"Me too, Harry. Believe me."

His thumb started rubbing soothing circles on the small of my back, that were putting me to sleep. "Go to bed, Av. You're tired."

I nodded softly, my eyes already closed, "Night, Harry. I miss you already."

I felt his lips touch my nose softly, "Night, Av. I thought I was the only one."

I'd woken up happy, in Harry's arms. But now, I felt broken, as I watched him pack. He closed his suitcase and locked it in place, and the tears started coming. Harry looked up and saw me, his face somber as he rushed over to me.

He wrapped me in his arms and whispered, "Oh god, Avia. Don't cry. I can't take it."

I just buried my face in his shirt and mumbled, "I'm sorry. I can't help it."

He kissed my hair and pulled away so that he could wipe away the tears with his thumbs. "Be happy, Avia. Please. You can be sad when we say goodbye, okay?" He said, echoing me exactly, from the day before.

I bit my lip and nodded, the tears slowing. I held his hand as we rode in the elevator down to his cab. When we were in the lobby, he turned to me. Time to say goodbye; time for tears.

They fell shamelessly down my face. Harry smiled sadly at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. He pulled me in for a hug, "I wish I didn't have to go."

I choked on my tears before finally getting out, "Me too."

He pulled away and wiped away some of my tears, but it was useless; fresh ones were falling every few seconds. He leaned down and pressed the softest of kisses to my lips. I brought my arms up around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening it. Wanting to stay there, forever.

But we had to pull away, because his taxi was waiting. He whispered, "Please stop crying. I can't leave you here, crying." So I stopped. I stopped for him. I wiped the lingering tears away with my hand and looked at him. He leaned down and kissed me one last time, and said,

"Goodbye, Avia." Then he turned and walked out of the doors.

I broke down as they closed behind him. I was sobbing in the middle of the lobby. I don't think I'd ever felt that much pain since chemo. I felt like I was breaking.

Was staying with him longer, worth more pain later?

I shouted, "Harry! Wait!" and ran for the doors.

Notes

I know I said I would post tomorrow, but I honestly couldn't wait to post this I'm just too excited for y'all to read it!