Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
~Love the Way you Lie, Rihanna

Harry

“Get the fuck over it, damnit!” Louis cries to a very upset and furious Harry sitting on the couch.

“Me? I’m supposed to get the fuck over it Louis?” Harry lunges across the table grabbing Louis’s throat mercilessly and hitting him square in the jaw. “That’s rich, Tomlinson. Fucking,” Harry mutters, green eyes furious, “rich.”

Harry is about to give Louis another good punch when he is dragged away by Niall and Zayn, “that’s enough Haz.” Harry glares at Zayn, but shrugs the two boys holding his arms away, and after giving Louis a cold and hard stare, he goes back to his room and changes into running clothes.

Harry grabs his phone from the bed and dials Alexis’s number for the thousandth time that day only to hear her voice saying that she is not available and to drop a message. Harry, frustrated, pushes his hair out of his eyes, and shoves the phone in his pocket. He grabs his iPod off the table and walks out of his room, ignoring the stares from his mates.

Harry blasts the music until, that is all he can hear , he starts a slow jog, and eventually falls into the familiar pattern of his feet meeting the pavement. He increases his pace, until the muscles in his leg are sore. He keeps pushing himself until sweat drips from his forehead.

Finally he settles down a bench, and pulls out his phone. “Pick up the phone goddamnit!” He mutters angrily, when he reaches Alexis’s voicemail again. He clenches his fists tightly, in an attempt to calm himself.

“Thought I’d find you here,” a soft voice spoke from behind him, and a hand is placed on his shoulder. Harry warily looked up to Cara, running a hand through his sweaty curls.

“What do you want Cara?” That was harsh, but he couldn’t have cared less. Cara sighs and sits beside him.

“You need to give her a little bit of time, she’ll come around, I promise. She loves you.” Cara whispers, pulling out the grass beside her. Harry scoffs in response. “She told it to me, Harry. She…” Cara wipes her moist eyes, before speaking again, “she really loves you. The stupid, crazy, once in a lifetime kind of love.”

“And that, I bet, is the reason why she left.”

“I don’t know, why she left Haz. I wish, I did. But...she’s not doing it because she wants to. Remember, when Lou yelled at her in the hospital and she ran away. God! You should have seen her then. She was broken, Haz. Harry, I saw her looking at you. She...it’s . It’s the same way I look at you Harry,” her voice is barely above a whisper, as she speaks the last words.

Harry’s eyes snap in her direction, “Cara...I. I cannot, I mean--” Harry fumbles for words.

“I know. I’m not asking for you to, I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. You two are made for each other, and I promise, you both will find a way back. I promise.” She places a gentle kiss on his cheek, before getting up and walking away with a sad smile.

Alessia

“You okay, babe?” Marilyn’s voice is the first thing Alessia hears, when she opens her eyes. Alessia nods in response, and tries to get up. She falls back to the bad, when her head throbs wildly.

“Tylenol,” she murmurs quietly. Marilyn does, as told.

“We have a lot to talk about, but first things first; Naumann wants to see you.”

Alessia looks up with quizzical eyes. “I tried covering for you, Less. But you left for two whole weeks.” Alessia nods, and forces a smile towards Marilyn, to let her know that it was okay.

She gets up, and walks towards her closet to rummage through her clothes. Finally settling on a plain black sweatshirt and jeans. She changes, and covers her face with powder, until it looks clean. She smooths down her unruly hair. “I need to get the hair dyed again,” she murmurs to herself,

“There’s no point, everyone knows, what’s going on, Lexi. I just wanna know why.” Alessia flinches at Marilyn’s voice pronouncing her name.

“Are there any papz, out there?” Alessia asks nervously, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

“No. Not yet. No one knows that Alexis Tomlinson is studying at Stanford. They’re not letting the information out, it’s confidential, apparently. But how long do you think that’s gonna last?” Alessia nods, taking the information in. She grabs her bag from the bed, and with one last look in the mirror. She steps out of her dorm.

“Mr. Naumann, I heard you wanted to see me?”

“Ms. Cowell? Or Tomlinson, should I say?” Alessia flinches and walks inside, taking the seat in front of him.

“Tomlinson.” She whispers, placing her bag at her feet.

“So Ms. Tomlinson,” there’s a long pause before he starts speaking again, “Would you like to explain what’s going on?”

“I...I really don’t know where to start, sir.”

“How about from the beginning?” Carl asks politely.

“As it is obvious, I was dating Harry Styles. Stuff happened, I broke up with him, and started over.”

“Well, that was very detailed.”

“I’m sorry...I just, um, am not comfortable talking about this.” Alessia murmurs, pulling her sleeves down, to cover her fingertips.

“Aless--Alexis, I’m gonna give you time, but you’ll eventually have to talk about it.” Alessia swallows, and looks at him with a grateful smile.

“But.” He starts again, “have you had a look at your grades, lately?” Alessia winced, remembering the numerous C’s she had been receiving on her latest tests. “You’re a smart girl, Alexis, otherwise you wouldn’t have a half-scholarship at Stanford. We wouldn’t have taken you in, in the middle of a semester, but with your grades; I don’t know if you can’t maintain your position in the University. You haven’t been attending the volleyball practices either.”

“I...can you give me some time? I promise I’ll raise the grades, and attend all the practices. Just a month, please?” Alessia begs.

“A month. Only because I know you where you stand.” Carl answers, flipping through his files again, and dismissing her.

Alessia softly thanks him, and grabs her bag.

“Lexi?” He asks again, just when she is about to step out of the room, “If something’s wrong. Talk to people, okay? Talk to me, or to Marilyn. To someone, anyone, okay?” Alessia nods slowly, and walks away.

For the next two weeks, Alessia buries herself in her studies, doing everything to bring her grades up. She studies throughout the night, and tries to be invisible during the day. Hiding her wounds under her cotton t-shirts. Spends her days working at ‘Dunkin Donuts’ to earn the money, required for paying the tuition fee, and hiding the new bruises she gets every single day. She tries her hardest to ignore Marilyn’s concerned questions, or Taylor’s invariable phone calls.

It’s around 3 in the morning when Alessia is wrapping up her essay, due the next week, when her phone rings loudly by her bedside. She jumps to silence it, and glances over to Marilyn who is soundly asleep. She looks back down at the phone, her heart leaps in her chest, and she blinks a few times to see if what she’s seeing is right.

Without a second thought Alessia accepts the Skype call from EJCalder92. Her face fills the screen, and Alessia smiles widely, for the first time in weeks. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Eleanor’s tone is formal.

“How are you?” Alessia asks, now nervous.

“How are you, Alessia Cowell?” Eleanor replies, with a question.

“Do the others know?” She asks softly, not bothering to reply.

“No. Not yet. But how long do you think, I’ll be able to keep them away from the media, tabloids, news, fans, twitter, everything?”

“You? Why are you, doing it?” Alessia asks, confused.

“Lexi, you think you are the smartest person on the Earth. You’re not, obviously there’s something you’re hiding, because you wanna prove you’re the strongest person on Earth. I also know nothing I say is going to change your mind. So, I’m gonna wait till you reach the shattering point. I just want to let you know, that I’ll be there, when you need me, ‘cause I love you Lex.” That was Eleanor, Alessia had always known, straight to the point.

“Thanks,” Alessia whispers, unable to form any other words.

“I don’t know how I know this; but Felix and Jace were missing you,” Eleanor says, with a ghost of a smile forming on her lips, while Alessia is unable to hide her wide grin.

“Louis would kill me for this,” she mutters then turns the camera towards the two.

“Hi sweethearts, how are you?” Alessia asks smiling, wanting to hold her siblings in her arms so badly, that it hurt. Her eyes fill with tears, while she softly talks to them, for god knows how long.

“They’re returning in ten minutes,” Eleanor mumbles focusing the camera back on herself.

“Thank you, El, for everything. I really appreciate this. You have no idea what this means to--”

“I do. That’s why I did it Lex.” Eleanor replies, cutting her off, in mid-sentence.

“Alexis,” Eleanor sighs, and takes a deep breath before starting again, “I know for a fact that you have a reason behind whatever you’re doing, Lex. But, your secrecy on the matter is not helping, we’re all here for you, no matter what. I don’t know how to put this in a gentler way, but Lexi everything is falling apart, and no one can help but blame you for it.

I know there must be a reason, Lex, but you have to come back and explain. The band, God Lex! There’s not a day Harry doesn’t break one of the boys’ bones. Louis and Harry can barely look at each other without wanting to kill one another. You weren’t there at the funeral either, the twins. You are their older sister, and no matter how hard I try to play the part, I cannot take that position away from you. I’ll try to, and maybe even succeed in keeping everything else together. But Lex, Harry doesn’t need anyone but you. The boy is dying every single day, Lex. He barely comes out of his room, he doesn’t eat. Lexi, he broke down on the stage, he couldn’t finish his lines.

I know there must be a reason Lex. But I can’t help thinking it is a selfish one.”

Lexi swipes a hand across her moist eyes, “sometimes people chose to leave, not because of selfish reasons, but because they know that things will get worse is the stay.”

Eleanor sighs, and runs a hand through her hair, before looking back at Lexi, “nothing I say, is gonna make you change your mind, right?”

Alessia shakes her head, slowly, “Lex, whatever it is, and whenever you feel ready to talk. I’m just a phone call away. No matter what I’m you best friend, and I’ll always be, okay?”

“Thanks Ellie,” Lexi whispers. The doorbell rings alongside.

“Bye Lex, remember what I said. I love you.”

Alessia ends the call before, laying back in bed and thinking about the disaster her life had become. If it were even seven months ago, Alessia would have gladly gone back, and fixed things between not only Harry and her, but also Louis and the other lads, but now, the possibility seemed very surreal, to be true and too selfish, even if she thought about it.

She was wishing for her mum to be here now, more than ever.

Harry

“Harry, I don’t know how to put this mildly, but it’s time to move on. I don’t know how hard it is for you, but she was just a girl. You’ll find another one.” Harry’s eyes found Paul’s, and he gave him a long stare, before knotting his fingers together, to keep from doing anything rash.

“She is not ‘just a girl’ Paul.” He replied with forced patience.

“Harry you need to find a girl of your own, or we’ll be forced to set you up with someone. The rumors about you sleeping around have started all over again. And worst of all, the tabloids and media are sure that the band is falling apart. The fans are going crazy.”

Harry balls his fists and smashes them against the wooden table, ignoring the pain that shoots up his arm. “You don’t fucking own me! I’ll do the shit I want, you’re gonna set me up? Really? You set me up and I’m gonna play along with your fucked up plans. First, I’m not lying to my fans--”

“How many fans do you have left, Harold?”

“Don’t you fucking interrupt me. Second, you wanna set me up? Go ahead, we’ll see how that fucking works out.”

“Harry you’re going to have to ‘play by our rules’ otherwise this band is going nowhere.”

“Bullshit! You’re going to threaten me, that you’ll kick me out, right? We’ll see how that works out too, Paul. I’ll fucking do as I please.” Harry mutters before storming out of the room, leaving a frustrated Paul behind.

Harry drives rashly around London streets, overspeeding, skipping red lights. And finally bumping into a ‘Stop’ sign. “Fuck!” He cries running a hand through his unruly curls. He slams his hand on the steering wheel, and rests his head on it, waiting for the police sirens to near.

By the time Harry is being escorted in the car, paparazzi and media have surrounded the scene, throwing vicious insults and tormenting questions at him. Harry tries to remain quiet, and keeps his eyes shut to keep from pouncing at the first person in 1m radius.

Harry is sitting with his head in his hands in cell for almost two hours, when he is called out again. Louis’s red face is the first thing he sees when he walks out. The tension in his muscles is visible through his thin cotton shirt. Niall has his hand firmly placed on his shoulder, and he’s murmuring something softly.

“The ride back to the flat, is like the silence before a storm. Louis sits with his hands curled in his lap. Liam has a disapproving glare set on Harry. Zayn and Niall just look tired, knowing that they would be the ones to diffuse the brawl, which was coming up, soon.

As soon as the flat door is shut. Louis’s cold glare turns on Harry. “Who the fuck do you think you are? You fucking piece of shit!”

“I’m a fucking piece of shit? Me? At least I’m not pretending to hate Alexis. I love her and I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m the fucked up one here, yeah?” Harry laughs humorlessly, clearly enjoying the way Louis’s nose flares.

“You worthless fucking prick. I swear to God--” Louis and Harry are standing barely an inch apart, his hand is halfway through the air. When Eleanor grabs it and gently intertwines their fingers. She gives the boys a disapproving look before making Louis face him.

“Go to your room, babe. We can talk about this later.”

“I cannot fucking stay in the same house as him! I swear to God, I’ll kill him, in his fucking sleep.” Harry chuckles, at the empty threat. Making Louis angrier. Eleanor quietly, but sternly tells Harry to keep his mouth shut for a while. Harry obeys, and silently walks into his room.

“Fine. You go to my apartment then, I’ll get your stuff, okay?” Eleanor speaks quietly.

“That’s fine, I’ll get my stuff--”

“Do what I said Louis!” Eleanor cries. Louis gives her a strange look before grabbing his keys from the counter and without arguing walks out of the house. “Show’s over lads, you can go back now.” The boys shuffle before silently walking out of the house. “Send Perrie over, will you, Zayn?”

Zayn mutters a quiet ‘yes’ and the door slams shut. Eleanor sighs, and knocks on Harry’s door.

“I don’t want to talk, El.” Eleanor pushes the door open, anyway, her heart clenches seeing Harry’s tear stained face, as he sits in the bed.

“Haz,” Eleanor starts quietly, settling at the foot of his bed. Her hands grab Harry’s big ones, “I’m sorry, about Lou,” she whispers quietly.

“He’s right, though. I am a worthless piece of shit. Even you have to agree with that.”

“Harry, you are an amazing person. Louis is just mad, he’ll come around okay? He’s just under a lot of pressure with the band, the twins, Johanna and the funeral. Lexi,” she whispers the last part.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, El. The management wants to set me up. Fucking set me up! They really are heartless. I can’t do this El. I need her.” Eleanor wraps her arms around Harry, and lets him cry in her shoulder, for a long time.

“Can Felicity spend the night with me today?” Harry asks hopefully.

Saying no to him would break her heart, but if Louis finds out he would not only kill Eleanor but also Harry, “Haz, I don’t know…”

His eyes go back to the dull gray color they have taken up recently.

“‘Course you can have her for tonight Haz,” Perrie pops her inside the room, “tell Lou that I’m taking both of them overnight. You need sleep too. I’ll have Jace with me, the girls are dying to meet him anyway. Felix can stay with Harry, I’ll bring her over in the morning, before Louis comes to collect them.”

Harry’s eyes lighten up instantly. Although Eleanor isn’t comfortable with lying to Louis, Harry’s face makes it worth it, “okay,” she whispers.

“Hey baby girl,” Harry coos as Perrie hands him Felicity.

“Here are the diapers and her bottle, and--”

“I know Pez, Lux grew up with me, remember?” He says, grabbing the bag, from her hands. “And thank you for this.”

“No problem, Harry.” She hesitates before speaking again, “She’ll come around, I promise.”

Harry gives her a small smile and nods, before shutting the door, and taking the baby in his room. With every passing day, Felix looked more and more like Alexis, and Harry loved just looking at her, and talking about Lexi.

After repeating how he met Lexi, and how they fell in love Felix slowly starts to fall asleep on his chest. Harry gently strokes her soft and short hair before closing his eyes too, and for the first time in weeks he sleeps a peaceful sleep.

Alessia

Alessia gets up with a massive headache. She feels sick to her stomach, and rushes to the bathroom. Marilyn seeing Alessia in this distressed state follows close behind.

She silently holds up Alessia’s hair as she throws up in the toilet bowl. Murmuring soothing words and rubbing her back. Until she’s done.

Alessia knows very well what’s happening but she doesn’t want to believe it. Her eyes water with tears, and she tries her hardest to hold the down. She weaves her fingers through her hair, before breaking down into sobs. Marilyn’s hands wrap around Alessia, while the latter hysterically cries in her shoulder.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Marilyn asks calmly, forcing Alessia to look into her eyes.

“I-Christ! I’m pregnant Marilyn. I’m fucking pregnant.”

“Less, babe it could just be a false alarm. We haven’t done a pregnancy test yet,” Marilyn trying desperately trying to comfort her friend.

“But I know it, I fucking know it. It’s Scott’s Mary. It’s Scott’s.” Alessia cries her hands tug at her hair, her face is tear stained, her voice is hoarse, in between the sobs and blubbering.

“Who’s Scott?” Marilyn asks rubbing circle on Alessia’s back.

With that the whole story comes out in between distressing sobs, everything from high school to last night. Everything. (A/N: And I mean every single thing. Stuff you guys have no clue about yet ;)

Notes

Ohmigod I cannot. I just can't. Our Hazza-boo is twenty, I--Oh lord save me. He's fucking twenty.
Remember this? This little cutie with a beautiful voice.

Who has now turned into this god of sexiness, with an amazing voice.


Happy 20th Birthday to our wonderful Harold Edward Styles. Luv ya babe <3

Now for the apologies, I'm sorry my internet has been really weird. I lost my chappie since word stopped responding. And I couldn't type the whole chapter again, blame it on Sherlock! :p Hopefully this update will make up for it, my apologies. But I was actually counting on 70 votes. I'll hope again, though. lol.

As for the chapter. The drama, Oh My God!!!

1. Alessia is pregnant! What the hell do you think is gonna happen? I mean seriously, it's all just starting m'lovelies. Hang in there, yeah? I promise to not disappoint you.
2. Harry got in trouble again?!
3. I feel so sorry for Harry! What about y'all, are his actions justified? In my opinion they are.
4. What happens when everyone learns about the pregnancy.

That's it for now. Comment, Vote and Subscribe!!