If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you
~Not Over You, Gavin Degraw

(A/N: Before you all start reading and most probably hating me, I want to remind y'all that this story is purely fictional. Oh and please read the Notes at the end. Thanks.)

Alexis/Marilyn/Taylor

Alessia clenches her fists and shut her eyes tightly, after the third test showed that she was, in fact, pregnant. Feeling dizzy, and weak she sits by the edge of the bathtub her hands combed through her unruly hair, wincing as she hits the spot where Scott had hit her not two days ago.

“Alessia, are you going to open the door?” Marilyn speaks in an urgent tone from the other side of the door. Alessia’s eyes fell on the mirror in front of her. She flinches at her own reflection, the blonde dye had faded away, her usually soft and smooth brown hair was a stringy mess. Her once sparkling gray eyes, were almost invisible behind the dark bags covering her eyes. The cheekbones that were once flushed with color, were pale and hollow. Every bone jutted out on her skin.

The girl who had her whole life planned out never realized that she’ll never have the chance to do what she wanted. At the age of twenty, she was carrying the baby of the man she hated. She lost her parents, her brother, the love of her life. She abandoned her siblings. She was failing her classes. And she could stop breathing right at this moment, and no one would know. She pressed her fisted hands to her eyes, as if that would stop the tears.

“Alexis?!”

Alessia leans over, and with weak fingers pries the lock open. She moves back and stares at her knotted fingers through blurry eyes, not daring to glance up and meet the disappointing looks she had gotten accustomed to. “Lexi?” Marilyn’s voice is gentle when she sits cross-legged on the floor by Alessia.

Alessia forcefully pushes her hair behind her ear, and meets Marilyn’s brown gaze. Through her tear-pooled eyes she can barely make out the concerned look on Marilyn’s soft features. “I’m fine.” Alessia declares quietly she pushes her hair up in a pony tail and stands up with the support of the wall.

“I didn’t ask how you are,” Marilyn replies just as quietly. She stands up too and offers Alessia her arm. Both of them walk back to the dorm in silence.

Marilyn gently pushes the door open, but before she can utter a word. Taylor’s arms are wrapped around Alessia in a tight embrace, “Thank God! I thought you were dead,” Alessia and Marilyn both flinch at Taylor’s choice of words, “I didn’t mean it literally Lex,” Taylor says softly pulling out of the hug to actually look at her friend. “You look like shit,” Taylor speaks, used to speaking whatever is on her mind. She purses her lips together, and gives Lexi a sorry glance.

“I know,” Lexi replies hoarsely, sarcasm had left her system long ago.

“Lex, babe? Are you alright?” Taylor asks gently wrapping an arm around Lexi’s shoulder and leading her to the bed.

“No.” She replies truthfully for, perhaps, the first time in months.

Taylor looks over at Marilyn with a questioning glance. Marilyn sighs wearily, and looks at Alessia’s sunken shoulders. Slowly and carefully Marilyn articulates every word Alessia had recited not two hours ago.

“That motherfucking son of a bitch!” Taylor yells, “When the fuck were you gonna tell us about it, Lexi?”

Alessia shrugs helplessly, “does it matter, Tay? I don’t even know how long I’m gonna live Tay. A minute? A day?”

Taylor’s features turn soft, and she sits at the foot of the bed. “Why did you do it?” Taylor asks softly, her own blue eyes brimming with tears.

“Because…” Alessia clenches her fingers, then unclenches them, “because…God! Because I love him,” Alessia whispers having no other explanation. And perhaps no other explanation was required.

“It didn’t matter Taylor, and still doesn’t. I don’t regret my choices, nor will I ever regret them.”

“What about Harry?” Taylor asks ever so softly.

“What about him?” Alessia asks quietly, forcing her fingers to stay still on her lap.

“What happens when he gets to know all of this? He won’t be able to live with himself, I may not know him as well as you do, Lexi, but I know that he has the hugest heart, he’ll hate himself forever.”

“Who is going to tell him?” Alessia says, keeping a hard stare on Taylor, “if you say anything, Taylor, you’ll break him, more than I have.”

“He’ll figure it out on his own, Lex.”

“It doesn’t matter, Taylor, he has nothing to blame himself for, I knew what was happening, I was selfish, and now I’m hurting. It’s okay, though. By the time he knows the truth he’ll fall out of love, he won’t hurt as much.” She says quietly, trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

“You don’t fall out of love with someone, Lexi. Either you are or you aren’t. True love is for life, the others are just experiences and delusions.” Taylor replied with a faint smile on her lips, while tears rolled down her cheeks, “and I know Harry is in love with you, present tense.”

Alessia squeezes her eyes shut and buries her face in her palms. “I can’t do this Taylor. I just can’t,” her voice breaks with just as the last word is uttered. Taylor gently pulls Lexi in an embrace and lets her cry. “Do you think I have a say in this? I’m barely twenty Taylor, I’m supposed to have a life...but I don’t.” Alessia mumbles in Taylor’s shoulder.

“Sweetie,” Taylor pats her friend’s hair, mumbling reassurances in her ear.

Marilyn tried to force the tears in her eyes away, and turns around. She massages her temple with her fingers and botes on her lip, “you have to tell him Lex,” she says quietly but firmly.

“I don’t have to do anything, Marilyn.” Alexis scowls.

“He deserves to know.”

“He doesn’t, Marilyn. He doesn’t deserve to know. He’ll break, Mary.”

“What about you Alexis?” Marilyn asks turning around. Hot tears are streaming down her cheeks. “If you don’t tell him, I’ll be forced to do so.”

“You don’t even know them Marilyn. Do you think they are just going to come all the way here to listen to a fan. They get those kind of messages every other minute.”

“I have my connections, Alexis.” Marilyn replies haughtily. Even though she hopes Alexis caves in before Marilyn herself would have to do something she thought she had left behind.

Alexis chuckles dryly. “Good try, Marilyn.”

“I’m not kidding around Lexi,” Marilyn replies, “I’ll be forced to do something that I’ll most probably regret, but if it means letting Harry know, and saving whatever’s left of your life. I will not hesitate to do it.”

“What are you going to do, spread this in the media? You’ll ruin the whole bands’ reputation!”

“I know what I’ll do, Lexi.”

“You are being a very supportive friend Marilyn.”

“Friends tell you when you are wrong. And Alexis May Tomlinson you are absolutely mistaken in this matter.”

“She’s right Lexi, you’ve gotta tell him.” Taylor says interrupting Lexi before she opens her mouth to pose yet another argument.

“Well y’all are being really considerate here.” Alexis swipes a hand over her moist eyes, before raising her hands in surrender. Marilyn and Taylor eye each other warily as Alexis’s frail frame disappears through the door.

“Will you tell them?” Marilyn asks quietly.

“Lets give her sometime, yeah? She doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“Do you really think she is going to budge? She’s stubborner than a mule.” Marilyn says running a hand through her dark hair.

Taylor bites her lip, then shakes her head. I don’t want to be the one telling him this, and she’s right Harry will never forgive himself.” Marilyn scowls, and opens her mouth but Taylor raises a hand, “but, he has to know, because Lexi is my friend, and I can’t let her go through this alone. She needs him, he needs her it’s simple as that.”

“That’s the point Tay, he can’t need me.” Alexis’s head pops into the room, and so do her tear-pooled gray eyes. “I’m a living corpse, Taylor. But that living part isn’t going to last long.”

“You can’t just give up, anything else but I never thought of you as a coward, Alexis May Tomlinson.”

“Maybe you thought wrong Taylor Alison Swift,” Alessia replies just as coldly, if not more. This time she storms out of the room, and doesn’t look back.

---

Harry

Harry sits in Paul’s office for the seventh time in a month, his head is hung low, chestnut curls covering his furious expression. Green eyes are dark with fury and fists clenched at sides.

He looks up at his manager through the mess of curls covering his face. “You don’t fucking own me,” Harry’s vocabulary had started consisting more curse words than anything else.

“This is it, Harry. You do this or you get kicked out.” Paul says smacking the file on the table.

“You are gonna fucking kick me out?!” Harry’s palm hits the wooden table with force, creating a smacking sound. He stands up, roughly pushing his hair out of his eyes, “I quit.”

A small smirk appears on his lips, watching Paul’s appalled expression. With another flick of hair, he storms out of the room.

(A/N: Please, please I’m begging y’all to listen to Always Be Together, by Little Mix while reading this part.)

Questions are launched relentlessly as Harry steps into his apartment, which was once Louis’s too. Heck it was once Lexi’s too, but Harry didn’t want to think about it.

Ignoring the outburst of questions and noises, he quietly whispers “I quit,” all six heads shoot up.

Niall’s eyes are wide as he asks a question he doesn’t want to know the answer for, “Quit what Haz?”

“Everything,” Harry replies a small smirk covering his defeated expression, “I’m done lads, I’m sorry.”

“She’s not worth it.” Louis says quietly, staring at his fingers, he blinks a few times clearing his eyes and looks at Harry, “she’s not,” he lies again.

“Maybe she isn’t, but for me she is.” Harry replies, tired of pretending that he didn’t miss Lexi with every beat of his heart.

Harry is the kind of guy, who falls in love once and only once, and he loved and loves Lexi with everything he has. Lexi wasn’t the perfect girl, she wasn’t flawless, but she was perfect for him. He knew that even today he would readily give up his life for her, never once imaging that maybe she already had.

Harry smiles genuinely this time, he leans forward and pulls the other four lads into a tight embrace. “Thank you so much, lads. These were the best four years of my life.” He states quietly, eyes brimming with tears.



He then pulls away trying to memorize every detail in the faces of his four best mates, knowing he’ll probably never see them again.

“Harry we’re not One Direction without you.” Zayn says swiping a hand over his tear-filled eyes. “You can’t leave us, you bastard.”

Harry chuckles quietly, this time letting the tear freely roll down his cheek, “I ruined everything, Malik. Try to save whatever is left of One Direction, mate. I don’t deserve this; the fans, the love, you guys, I don’t.” He runs a hand through his hair, and turns away a sob racks his body hot tears roll down his cheeks, as he briskly walks towards his room.

“Get your arse back here, Harold Edward Styles,” Eleanor calls out, wiping her cheeks, and blinking hard to stop the tears threatening to fall again.

“I’ll miss you too, Eleanor Jane Calder,” Harry speaks without turning around.

“Harry…”

“Eleanor.” Harry mimics, Eleanor lets out a small laugh, wiping her eyes again with the back of her hand. Eleanor was just as much of a sister to Harry as Gemma. And him loving to annoy Eleanor would have been an understatement.

Harry slips into his room, tears blur his vision as he throws whatever he sees in a bag. Finally his eyes land on the frame by his bedside, despite his unclear vision he can see the picture clearly, he has it memorized by heart. He knows he should leave it that’s the only way to begin again, but a greater part of him begs to hold on to whatever is left of her. He places the frame on top of his clothes, and zips the bag.

Stubborn tears don’t stop flowing, he presses his palms to his eyes. He slings the bag over his shoulder, and grabs his phone and coat. His hand, unconsciously reaches for the promise ring in the left pocket of the coat, once relieved that the ring remains untouched. He fleetingly looks around the room, then walks out without looking back. After shutting the door behind him he offers a wry smile to his seven friends in the hall. “Goodbye.”

Louis stands up, “Harry, you can’t do this-” but before he can complete the sentence, Harry is fleeing out of the room, he sprints down the stairs and is driving out of London before anyone knows what’s happening. He knows he’s not driving to Holmes Chapel tonight, he is tired of disappointment.

---

Alexis

A TRAGIC END TO THE INCREDIBLE BOY BAND

LDN--A tragic end to, perhaps, the most successful band since the Beatles. Harry Styles, 20, 1/5 of One Direction, was spotted at the London International Airport at precisely 9 p.m. yesterday, just after we heard rumors about the boy band taking a break. Simon Cowell, One Direction's mentor during their X-Factor days, confirmed the rumor last night. Louis Tomlinson, 22, and the eldest lad in the band, states that, "without Harry we are all individuals, not One Direction."

Styles has been in a lot of trouble lately, being arrested three times in two months, due to over speeding and minor accidents, but this none of us had expected. Directioners, fans of the band, are left bummed. "The tension between the band had been conspicuous in the past few months, but this is a shock," says an 18-year-old fan. Never could we have imagined that these boys would end up like this, but we still expect these exceptional singers to rise as solo artists. Goodbye, One Direction.

Alexis tugs on hair, reading the article over and over again, hoping that she’s reading it wrong. The newspaper falls out of her grasp, and she falls to the ground, angry tears spill from her eyes, and she lets out an agonizing scream, the frustration and sadness taking the better of her. Her hands pull at her hair, and loud sobs rack her body. “I gave everything up for you, and this is what you give me?” She cries out, she brings her knees close to her chest, tucking them under her chin. Her throat is raw from all the screaming, her hair a mess.

“Nauman, wants you again,” Marilyn says quietly placing her book bag on the table. Her eyes fall on Lexi, “Lex? Are you--”

“Okay? Yeah.” Lexi replies smoothing her hair and getting up, she fixes her rumpled shirt and looks at her, offering her an artificial smile. She walks into the closet and pulls out some clothes from it. After warily changing into them, she takes a deep breath and walks out of the room, towards the Dean’s office.

“Ms. Tomlinson.”

“Mr. Nauman.”

“I--Have a seat, please.”

Alessia hesitantly sits on the seat, her grades hadn’t been what she would’ve wanted a few months ago, but she’d managed to bring them up to an average. She had tried to visit as many volleyball practices as she could, even though every time the ball hit a bruise, her eyes would fill with tears.

“I don’t know how to put this mildly, so I’m just going to put it right there; Alexis are--are you pregnant?”

Alexis presses her lips together, before she can formulate a lie, a newspaper clipping is placed in front of her. She closes her eyes and nods slowly. “Lexi, I’m sorry but--”

“I know. I--I’ll leave tonight.” She whispers getting up and gives him an understanding smile. He nods and dismisses her.

---

Alexis/Marilyn

“Where are you going to go Lexi? God, you need to tell him! I’m coming with you, I don’t care what happens.” Marilyn speaks in fragments, while Alessia stuffs her bag with clothes, and books.

“Shut up, Marilyn, I know I have to fix this, and I’m going to do just that.”

“You are going to tell him, thank the lords, otherwise I’d have to call Niall, and I haven’t seen him in ages, and I doubt that bastard even remembers me anymor--” she slaps a hand over her mouth, and shyly looks at Alexis, to find her gaze already fixed on Marilyn.

“You--”

“It’s a long story.”

“We haven’t got time,” Alessia laughs humorlessly, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “but at this point, I don’t care anyway.”

“I don’t even know where to start, Lex.”

“From the beginning?”

Marilyn swallows, finally letting out what she’s kept bottled up for so long, “When I was in 7th grade, dad got transferred to Ireland…”

Notes

**I'll do the apologies later, 'cause right now I'm just sorta overflowing with emotions, I said it before this story is purely fictional, and never in a thousand years, can I imagine the boys breaking up. It was too emotional for me to write, and I tried putting just as much emotion as I felt into my writing. And just to cheer y'all up I'm putting this here;
Hopefully this cheered y'all up a bit, 'cause it did make me smile :) Except that I have an important announcement to make, I oftentimes read through They Don't Know About Us, and I feel terrible, because I know I do not, at all, deserve the 202 votes y'all gave me, I love you for it, though ;). But as I was writing, leave alone the crappy grammar and cliché plotline it had nothing to do with it's title. So, in short, I want to say that, I have decided to rewrite TDKAU, I'm still keeping the older version up, though. The basic plotline is going to stay the same, but there will be certain changes, no you do not have to read it again if you don't want to, but I'd love if you did, because I wasn't, at all, satisfied with my earlier work. I assure you that you will enjoy it though, since two of the stories I'm writing right now are really sad, I want to write something happy and fun. So, I'll be posting the first chapter for the new version for TDKAU probably tomorrow. I have the prologue almost written.**

And that's my rant. Except that of course, comment, vote and subscribe. I love getting feedback from you guys and it makes my day. Oh, and about that Lexi thing, surprising? Isn't it? This plot twist is dedicated to my amazayn reader StylesHub. Of course, you'll get an explanation in later chapters. Now I'll stop 'cause I'm pretty sure no one is reading it any longer. Luv y'all xx

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