Behind Closed Doors {Larry Stylinson}
Chapter 20
HARRY’S P.O.V.
“Here, this will help.”
Ed hands me a glass of scotch and places a bottled water on my nightstand. I sit up and my
shaky hand raises the glass to my lips, pouring the burning liquid down my throat. My eyes shut and I get chills from the taste. I chug the rest and lay back, my head spinning even more.
“H-h-how does this help?”
I’m still shaking and sweating, my disoriented feeling getting worse every minute. Ed has been here for 30 minutes and I’ve managed to get out the gist of all the shit I pulled. He isn’t even close to Louis and he’s disappointed in me. He’s trying to help me out, but I can tell he’s in disbelief. I just need to make it through withdrawal and then I can focus on patching up my life. I don’t even know where I’ll begin, but I can’t think straight right now. I have finally stopped vomiting, but it hasn’t gotten much better.
“Harry, just try to sleep. Let that sink in and just doze off.”
I nod my head and close my eyes. Within a few seconds I feel the liquor settle in my empty
stomach and I instantly feel drowsy.
The room is black; I can’t see anything and my mind is all fuzzy. Louis is laying on the bed, face down and I am forcefully thrusting in and out showing no mercy.
“Harry, please.”
I have no control over my body, not even enough to stop myself from hurting Louis.
“Harry, STOP!”
His cries seem to mean nothing to me, but deep down I can’t take it. I want to stop.
“You’re hurting me!”
I moan loudly and finish, thrusting roughly and un-lovingly. I’m being completely selfish and it’s killing me. I’m a complete monster. Just as I lay down, Louis starts to sob.
“Louis, don’t cry! Please.”
The look he gives me; It will haunt me forever. I keep seeing him sobbing and it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t say anything. He just cries, but I can’t move. I feel like an insensitive asshole, but I don’t feel worthy to hold him in my arms; to comfort him. I don’t feel worthy of looking at him.
“HARRY! Wake up!”
I feel hands grasping my shoulders, shaking me violently. I open my eyes and see Eleanor standing over me.
“You were having a nightmare. You wouldn’t stop screaming. Are you okay?”
I roll over, noticing how much I had sweat during my nap. I bury my face in my pillow and cry. I can’t see anything but the sadness and terror on Louis’ face. Eleanor pats me on the shoulder and sits on the end of the bed. When did she even get here? I eventually roll over and sit up slightly. I feel better than I did before, but the new realization of everything I had done, makes it all pointless. At least before my nap, I could only think about the physical discomfort I was feeling. Thinking about the physical and emotional pain I put on Louis makes me want to die.
“El, why are you here? How long did I sleep?”
“Well, Ed said you were sleeping for like thee hours when I showed up and that was about four hours ago.”
“I slept all day? What time is it?”
“Eight in the evening. Do you feel any better?”
“Maybe physically, but I feel like such a piece of shit.”
“Look, the past day has been awful. I think everyone can agree on that.” That doesn’t help. “But, Harry you just have to take it one problem at a time. Harry, you know he still cares for you. He made me come over here.”
She’s right. I just can’t think about anything besides how Louis is doing. All I want is for him to be laying here with me so I can cuddle up next to him and lay on his chest. I would relive the horrible feelings of withdrawal as many times as it took to have things go back to the way they were. I’m shocked that he wants me to feel better, but it’s not the same to send Eleanor. I want him. Eleanor walks to the other side of the room and speaks into her phone in a hushed voice. I lay quietly, suddenly feeling another wave of nausea so I lean over and hurl in the bucket by my bed.
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
“Yeah, he’s awake, but he’s still not doing too good.”
“Thanks for going over there.”
I hold the phone up to my ear and try to not feel sorry for Harry. Why should I? He’s done nothing but hurt me, but knowing that he’s in pain makes me feel horrible.
“It’s no problem, Lou. He’s…REALLY upset. About everything.”
Eleanor has been harshest on him through all of this, but she even seems to feel bad for him.
“I- I really want to see him.”
“Is that best th- oh, god. Harry, are you alright?”
I hear him coughing and gagging, obviously throwing up. I cringe to think of him being sick and not
having me there to comfort him.
Flashback:
I look away from the TV and notice Harry stirring. He’s been miserable for days, but today has definitely been the worst. He’s been snoring the entire nap, unable to breathe through his nose. I know it’s just a flu but it makes me sad to see him so sick. His eyes flicker open and he rolls over to face me, his eyes glassy and red.
“How’d you sleep, love?”
“Okay. You really should stay at your place so I don’t get you sick.”
“You couldn’t make me leave.”
He rolls his eyes and turns to grab a tissue from the nightstand, blowing his nose multiple times.
He begins to sit up, but I place my hand on his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“To get something to eat.”
“No, you aren’t! Lay down; I’ll get it.”
I stand up and walk into his kitchen before he can argue with me. I search the pantry and finally find a can of soup. I’m no cook, but he’s also not up for a full meal. I open the can and pour the contents into a pot, turning the stove on high. As the soup heats, I put on a pot of tea and wait for the kettle to whistle. After a few minutes, I pour the hot water into two mugs that already contain tea bags and fill up a bowl with the chicken noodle soup. I place all three items on a tray, along with a spoon and walk back into the bedroom. A smile stretches across his face as I approach him, placing the tray on his lap. I lean over and kiss him on the forehead, feeling how hot his skin is.
“I’m going to go get you some more medicine.”
I turn around but he grabs me by the wrist.
“Please get back in bed and have tea with me.”
Once he releases me, I comply, slipping into the sheets and holding the warm mug in my hand, placing the already steeped tea bag on the tray as Harry takes a spoonful of soup to his lips.
“Thanks for taking care of me, boo. I’d have been hopeless without you.”
“I’m always here for you, Harry. Always. I love you.”
PRESENT DAY:
“Eleanor, is he alright?”
“Not really. He seems miserable. I don’t know how to help him.”
I sigh and decide that I can’t leave him like this.
“I’m heading over El. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Here, this will help.”
Ed hands me a glass of scotch and places a bottled water on my nightstand. I sit up and my
shaky hand raises the glass to my lips, pouring the burning liquid down my throat. My eyes shut and I get chills from the taste. I chug the rest and lay back, my head spinning even more.
“H-h-how does this help?”
I’m still shaking and sweating, my disoriented feeling getting worse every minute. Ed has been here for 30 minutes and I’ve managed to get out the gist of all the shit I pulled. He isn’t even close to Louis and he’s disappointed in me. He’s trying to help me out, but I can tell he’s in disbelief. I just need to make it through withdrawal and then I can focus on patching up my life. I don’t even know where I’ll begin, but I can’t think straight right now. I have finally stopped vomiting, but it hasn’t gotten much better.
“Harry, just try to sleep. Let that sink in and just doze off.”
I nod my head and close my eyes. Within a few seconds I feel the liquor settle in my empty
stomach and I instantly feel drowsy.
The room is black; I can’t see anything and my mind is all fuzzy. Louis is laying on the bed, face down and I am forcefully thrusting in and out showing no mercy.
“Harry, please.”
I have no control over my body, not even enough to stop myself from hurting Louis.
“Harry, STOP!”
His cries seem to mean nothing to me, but deep down I can’t take it. I want to stop.
“You’re hurting me!”
I moan loudly and finish, thrusting roughly and un-lovingly. I’m being completely selfish and it’s killing me. I’m a complete monster. Just as I lay down, Louis starts to sob.
“Louis, don’t cry! Please.”
The look he gives me; It will haunt me forever. I keep seeing him sobbing and it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t say anything. He just cries, but I can’t move. I feel like an insensitive asshole, but I don’t feel worthy to hold him in my arms; to comfort him. I don’t feel worthy of looking at him.
“HARRY! Wake up!”
I feel hands grasping my shoulders, shaking me violently. I open my eyes and see Eleanor standing over me.
“You were having a nightmare. You wouldn’t stop screaming. Are you okay?”
I roll over, noticing how much I had sweat during my nap. I bury my face in my pillow and cry. I can’t see anything but the sadness and terror on Louis’ face. Eleanor pats me on the shoulder and sits on the end of the bed. When did she even get here? I eventually roll over and sit up slightly. I feel better than I did before, but the new realization of everything I had done, makes it all pointless. At least before my nap, I could only think about the physical discomfort I was feeling. Thinking about the physical and emotional pain I put on Louis makes me want to die.
“El, why are you here? How long did I sleep?”
“Well, Ed said you were sleeping for like thee hours when I showed up and that was about four hours ago.”
“I slept all day? What time is it?”
“Eight in the evening. Do you feel any better?”
“Maybe physically, but I feel like such a piece of shit.”
“Look, the past day has been awful. I think everyone can agree on that.” That doesn’t help. “But, Harry you just have to take it one problem at a time. Harry, you know he still cares for you. He made me come over here.”
She’s right. I just can’t think about anything besides how Louis is doing. All I want is for him to be laying here with me so I can cuddle up next to him and lay on his chest. I would relive the horrible feelings of withdrawal as many times as it took to have things go back to the way they were. I’m shocked that he wants me to feel better, but it’s not the same to send Eleanor. I want him. Eleanor walks to the other side of the room and speaks into her phone in a hushed voice. I lay quietly, suddenly feeling another wave of nausea so I lean over and hurl in the bucket by my bed.
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
“Yeah, he’s awake, but he’s still not doing too good.”
“Thanks for going over there.”
I hold the phone up to my ear and try to not feel sorry for Harry. Why should I? He’s done nothing but hurt me, but knowing that he’s in pain makes me feel horrible.
“It’s no problem, Lou. He’s…REALLY upset. About everything.”
Eleanor has been harshest on him through all of this, but she even seems to feel bad for him.
“I- I really want to see him.”
“Is that best th- oh, god. Harry, are you alright?”
I hear him coughing and gagging, obviously throwing up. I cringe to think of him being sick and not
having me there to comfort him.
Flashback:
I look away from the TV and notice Harry stirring. He’s been miserable for days, but today has definitely been the worst. He’s been snoring the entire nap, unable to breathe through his nose. I know it’s just a flu but it makes me sad to see him so sick. His eyes flicker open and he rolls over to face me, his eyes glassy and red.
“How’d you sleep, love?”
“Okay. You really should stay at your place so I don’t get you sick.”
“You couldn’t make me leave.”
He rolls his eyes and turns to grab a tissue from the nightstand, blowing his nose multiple times.
He begins to sit up, but I place my hand on his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“To get something to eat.”
“No, you aren’t! Lay down; I’ll get it.”
I stand up and walk into his kitchen before he can argue with me. I search the pantry and finally find a can of soup. I’m no cook, but he’s also not up for a full meal. I open the can and pour the contents into a pot, turning the stove on high. As the soup heats, I put on a pot of tea and wait for the kettle to whistle. After a few minutes, I pour the hot water into two mugs that already contain tea bags and fill up a bowl with the chicken noodle soup. I place all three items on a tray, along with a spoon and walk back into the bedroom. A smile stretches across his face as I approach him, placing the tray on his lap. I lean over and kiss him on the forehead, feeling how hot his skin is.
“I’m going to go get you some more medicine.”
I turn around but he grabs me by the wrist.
“Please get back in bed and have tea with me.”
Once he releases me, I comply, slipping into the sheets and holding the warm mug in my hand, placing the already steeped tea bag on the tray as Harry takes a spoonful of soup to his lips.
“Thanks for taking care of me, boo. I’d have been hopeless without you.”
“I’m always here for you, Harry. Always. I love you.”
PRESENT DAY:
“Eleanor, is he alright?”
“Not really. He seems miserable. I don’t know how to help him.”
I sigh and decide that I can’t leave him like this.
“I’m heading over El. I can’t take it anymore.”
Notes
Hello, everyone!! <3 PLEASE COMMENT!!!What do you think will happen when Louis get's to Harry's flat? Will they talk things out or will it be painful for Louis? Is he already forgiving Harry or is he just trying to push his own feelings aside so that Harry will feel better for the time being?
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6/20/20