Liam’s POV

I decided to leave Danielle’s place an hour later –we just talked and ate lunch together- and I explained to her that I needed to be home. All I wanted was to go see Mia.

As I arrived at my place, something immediately didn’t feel right.

It was really quiet the moment I stepped inside my mansion. I shut the door and took a breather before going upstairs to check on Mia.

I was hoping that I didn’t walk into her room to find her crying.

It felt like forever until I stopped at her door.

But I was surprised to see it opened already.

Well, here goes nothing.

I walked in the room and looked around the room.

“Mia?” I ask for her but hear nothing return.

Again, something felt wrong, I didn’t know what though.

I check her bathroom and don’t see her.

As I was about to leave, something caught my eye.

A white paper was on top of her bed. I thought of not looking at it but I knew I should see what it was.

I grabbed it from the bed and scanned it for second before actually seeing what it was.

It was a letter and it was addressed to me? And so I began to read it.

‘Dear Liam,

The past month with you has been the best that I have had in a long time. I cannot thank you enough for taking care of me, protecting me, and for being there for me. I haven’t felt so welcomed in a long time and that is why I never took advantage of your kindness, because you meant it, you’re real. Getting to know you has made me realize that not all people are bad and I’m not the only one who can feel broken, unwanted and unloved. I know I told you that I would never leave you and that I would help you with what you’ve been dealing with until you tell me you no longer need me…but I can’t keep my promise anymore. I don’t think you will truly understand what I’m feeling now. I don’t expect you to. But I will tell you. The past two weeks have been the toughest on me. I have never felt so bad for myself.I never thought I would be one of those girls who doesn’t believe they are good enough for someone. You’re that someone Liam. In the beginning, you were my friend and all I did was care about you because you cared about me. I can’t explain how or why but it was only so little time when I discovered my true feelings. The truth is that I had fallen for you. I never told you because what was honestly the point? You were already using me for your sexual pleasure which I enjoyed as well at times but in the end, it never meant anything to you like it did to me. The money wasn’t important to me anymore when I found out my true feelings for you. All I cared about was helping you get better, make you feel what you wanted, what you needed, but I think I was never any of that. When we fought every time, it broke my heart. I was always so afraid that you would just throw me to the curb because you had the power to do so but you never did, you’re not heartless. I know you told me that you didn’t love Sophia but it still hurts when I know you were with her that night, it was nightmare for me. Finding out that you and Danielle want to get back together, it just made sense to leave you behind, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it? If only you saw the sparkle you had in your eyes when you told me you were both talking to each other again. I saw happiness. I enjoy seeing your happiness Liam, it makes me happy too but at the same time it kills me because I’m not the one who causes it. Why would I stay when you will have her in your arms once again? I would of just felt invisible and used if I stayed longer for you. I tried really hard, I promise I did but today I woke up knowing somehow and knew that I couldn’t handle this anymore. I don’t know when you will return home but I’m sure by the time you read this letter I will be gone. Leaving this way and not saying goodbye to you in person seems easier for myself and I know that’s selfish but I know you would of made me stay. I promise to never tell anyone about what we did together, I’ll forget just as you will. Do not worry about me, where I’m going I’ll be just fine. Don’t worry about Xavier- I’ll take care of it somehow, thank you again for trying to protect me. You will always have a special place in my heart. Remember to always keep your head up and always smile because your smile is the best thing in the world. I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.

Take care of yourself Liam.

With much love,
Mia Harper’

My eyes continued to stare in shock at Mia’s letter.

She’s gone? She’s really gone? No, she wouldn’t go, she promised.

But her letter says she couldn’t keep her promise, she was protecting what was left of her heart that I crushed unknowingly.

I hurt her deeply. I never knew Mia had feelings for me. I can’t understand how I didn’t see this coming. I never knew Mia would fall me for, I thought we were only friends.

She said she didn’t want to take advantage of my kindness and she didn’t. But I took advantage of her kindness, thoughtfulness and love.

How could I have thought that she would be OK with all of what’s been going on?

She was helping me get better but in the end I broke her instead.

If I had decided to end things with Mia, who was going to be there pick up the broken pieces in her heart?

I was blinded.

The idea of having my first true love back made me forget of what was truly in front of me.

There was someone already in front of me who loved me for me, who helped me since the moment we met.

I lost Mia because of my mistakes.

I quickly took out my phone and called her.

It rang and rang but it went straight to her voicemail.

How can I explain to her that I’m sorry if she won’t answer the phone?

I grew frustrated after thirty minutes of trying to call her with no luck of her answering the phone.

Not only was I feeling upset with myself but I was also worried. How can she expect me to be
OK with her being out on her own with her lunatic and abusive ex-boyfriend looking for her! If he ever touched her again then I would personally take care of him myself.

An hour had passed and I was a mess. I gave up on contacting Mia but left loads of voicemails for her. Would she listen to them? Probably not.

I didn’t realize I had anger tears in my eyes before a few fell down my cheeks. Why do I always

I didn’t want to cry, it felt wrong but at the same time I was too upset and I didn’t want to hold it in.

Later in the day, I went into my gym and started boxing. I used so much power with every hit that I was sweating in minutes when I started.I was letting all my anger out and it felt good and I seemed to be distracted for a while until my thoughts included Mia in them.

What if I never saw her again?

I shook my head and hit the standing bag harder.

I went faster at punching it until my arms started to shake and feel numb.

I was breathing harder as sweat ran down my face and body –I was shirtless after all.

‘What are you going to do now Liam? Go after her or let her go?’ My subconscious says.

“She doesn’t need me,” I growled and continued to punch the bag.

‘She does! She only left because she thought you didn’t need her! She loves you!’My subconscious yells at me.

“Why would she love me? I’m not good enough for her!” I yell and punch faster.

‘She obviously thought you were if she let have her heart. You just didn’t realize it was already yours.’ And with that I let my arms fall to my sides. My breathing was uneven but what hurt more than my lungs and arms at this moment, was my heart.


- A week later -

Silence.

That was all I’ve heard this entire week. Not once did I enjoy the silence within the days that had gone by.

I never knew that Mia brought so much sound and life into my home before all of this.

I thought it wasn’t bad to hear the quiet but I was wrong. I hate it.

Speaking of Mia, I have tried every day to call her but she never answered. My hopes were always high every time the phone rang but it would die when I would get her voicemail.

Not only did I miss her but I worried for her dearly.

Was she safe?

Was she alright?

Was she on her own somewhere?

Every night and morning that I was bed, my mind went back to the times when Mia was in my bed, sleeping safe and lovingly in my arms.

I missed that so much.

I miss Mia.

I woke up today and called the lads over.

Not because I wanted to hang out or anything but because I thought I should come clean about everything. I know they will be mad but I honestly can’t handle the weight on my shoulders anymore. I want to tell them how I’m feeling now and how I want to fix everything.
Niall, Zayn, Harry and Louis all sat on the couch as me what was going on and asking why I called them over for. Louis could tell I looked stressed out and tired, he gave me sympathy look but I know it would replace with an angry one after I come clean.

“I called you all here because I need to tell you guys something…” I trail off and sigh.

“And what’s that?” Niall asks curiously.

“The truth,” I say and they look at each confused.

That’s when I told them everything, and I mean everything. They didn’t seem to take it too well though…

“How could you be so stupid Liam?” Louis yelled out, stand up.

“Lou calm down,” Zayn says to him but you can hear the irritation in his voice.

“Liam, you know that if this gets out of to the media… One Direction is done,” Niall frowns and shakes his head.

Surprisingly, Harry stayed quiet and but his face expression was angry and disappointed.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen! It seemed like a good idea at the time-“

Louis’s snort cuts me off. “I knew from the beginning that she wasn’t your ‘old childhood
friend’! I just knew it! She’s basically a prostitute! She only wanted your money and you wanted the sex, and for what? You could have gotten over Danielle the right way! Who in the hell gets a girl to become their sex salve?” Louis goes on.

I glare at him and jab my finger at his chest. “Maybe it was hard for me to get over Danielle because I loved her! I’m sorry I made a mistake and risked our careers!” Louis moves my hand away and rolls his eyes at me.

“Liam, why couldn’t you just let us help you?” Zayn asks me.

“Because I just couldn’t!” I argue. “You kept looking at me like if I were broken!”

“You were!” Louis yelled.

“Exactly! I was! No, you know, I am now again! She’s gone and I will never see her again!” My voice cracks at the end. Don’t cry Liam, don’t cry.

“If she’s gone and she promises to not say anything then this should be a good thing, right?” Niall speaks gently.

I put my hands to cover my face and try to stay calm, but how can I? Every time I think about her, I feel like I can’t breathe, I feel like I’m running out of air. Was it always going to feel this way?

“What is wrong with you guys?” Harry’s voice startles me. I put my hands down and look at him as he glares at the boys. “Can’t you see that he is suffering? Do you not remember how much he smiling she's been around! Remember the way he was when we first saw them together? He was happy! That’s what we wanted was it not? We felt like the old Liam was back! He was! Now that the source of his true happiness is gone, Mia! Are you happy that? Who gives a damn if she was being paid! Her feelings for him seem to be real enough if she left him this way! Do you want our best mate to continue to be miserable even when he knows he’s done wrong? He’s apologized and I forgive him just like he forgave me when I messed up between the two of them.” Harry’s words stunned me. He looks at me and gives me a sad smile.

“Best mates don’t keep secrets like this from one another, especially as something this big.” Louis sighs and looks at me one last time before saying “this break was supposed to help us, not break us apart,” and with that he walks out of the living room and out the door.

My throat becomes dry. Did I just lose Louis too? Zayn stands and I wait for him to speak.

“You do what you have to do to get the old Liam back, but for now, let’s just give each other
space,” Zayn says and nods goodbye and leaves.

I look at Niall who looks unsure of what to say.

“I, I don’t even know what to say Liam. I’m not happy with what you’ve done but it’s your life. You do what you want with it but just think before you act,” Niall stands up and surprisingly gives me a quick hug before leaving as well.

Lastly I look at Harry who watches Niall leave.

“I’m sorry Harry,” I say as I sit down on the couch. He sits beside me and pats my back.

“I can see you’re hurting and I know you’re sorry.”

“I just can’t believe I went this far, I can’t believe I’ve hurt so many people. Why am I such a screw up?”

“Don’t say that!” Harry says sternly. Is this how Mia feels? Like she can never get anything right? I’ve been feeling like this for a while and I don’t like it. “You just need fix things and everything will be OK again.”

“How am I going to do that? Where do I even start?” I say frustratingly.

“You can start by telling me how you really feel about me?” He asks me gently.

I stare at him and then look down at my hands.

The truth is I haven’t even thought of my true feelings for her. I know that I care about her deeply. I know that when I close my eyes I see her face and when I wake up I still see her. I know that I love the way she laughs. I know that I love the way she smiles. I know I find it beautiful when she talks about her family. I know I miss when she would be in my arms. I know that I find her to be the most beautiful girl in my eyes. I know I would protect with my life because the thought of her being in bad situation scares me to death. I know I miss the way she would cuddle with me when we would watch movies. I know I miss her. I know I will never stop thinking about her no matter how hard I try.

It suddenly hit me hard in the heart.

“I know that I love her,” I tell Harry. Harry smiles widely and gives me a side hug. I smile as well and I feel this warm tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Then you need to find her and tell her,” he says and stands up.

“But how? She never answers my calls and I don’t know where she can be! I don’t even know if that asshole Xavier has her! I don’t know anything Harry, please help!” I beg him. I really don’t know what I’m doing but that doesn’t mean I will stop trying now.

“I’ll help you Liam, don’t worry, I’ve got your back,” Harry nods.

And this is why I am grateful to have Harry Styles as one of my best mates.

“Thank you Harry,” I smile and stand up as well.

Thinking about having her back in my arms makes my smile wider.

I love her.

I love Mia Harper.

Notes

Here was a full Liam's POV chapter! What did you think about it?

Thank you for the positive comments on the last chapter, they always make me smile! :)

I will update when I can so please be patient! Love you all <3

- Amanda (Flightless_Bird)