I'm Coming Home
I woke up and got out of bed, leaving El on the far side of the bed where she had slept. I watched her puzzled. Usually when I wake up before her I observe her sleeping face, calm, beautiful and the woman I loved. But today? Today all I see is a pretty girl asleep. I'm really starting to freak out. El and I barely even talk anymore. I can't even remember the last time I held her, but I don't even care! Yesterday, someone asked who was single out of us boys. I almost put my hand up! I fucking forgot I was dating her. I'm starting to feel like she's just a sixth grade girlfriend, someone I sort of like and we look good together so I feel obliged to be with her. That's not what relationships are meant to be like. I sighed, frustrated and went downstairs to find Bella on the couch reading. It surprised me that she was already awake, it's only 8.
"Morning." She looked up from her book and smiled.
"Morning Lou." She turned her attention back to her book. Another by Jodi Pocoult. I don't know why she reads them, she ends up crying when she finishes most of them.
"I'm gonna make some pancakes, you want some?" I asked. She looked up and shook her head, saying she had already had breakfast. She must have been up really early. A few hours passed and Bella still had not moved. She stayed in the one spot reading. Everyone was awake by now and Harry was sitting next to her on his phone, long since given up on trying to have a conversation with Bella, she was too interested in her book. I had a look at the track list of songs for our new album, we have 15 plus the 3 target addition songs.
Live While We're Young
Last First Kiss
Change My Mind
Back For You
They Don't Know About Us
She's Not Afraid
Loved You First
Still the One
Simon said we can have a few more songs if we want but I think we will just stick with those 15. I heard the door click and looked up as Eliza walked in.
"Bella?" Eliza walked over to Bella, who didn't even acknowledge her presence. "Oh for gods sake." Eliza rolled her eyes and snatched the book from Bella.
"Hey! Give it back," Bella pouted up at Eliza.
"No, I'm not just gonna sit here while you read ya little geek." Eliza messed up Bellas hair and sat down on the other side of her.
"Do you know what the date is." Eliza asked, eying Bella, curious.
"I dunno." Bella shrugged."Late September or someth-" Bellas eyes widened as a smile crept onto her face. "Late September! Oh my god how did I forget." Bella's whole face lit up.
"I forgot until I got a call this morning from my mum asking if she would be picking us up from the airport or not." Yeah, now I'm confused.
"What airport. Where are you going." I asked, Harry also listening.
Turns out every year Eliza's family has a big reunion and Bella always goes. Usually after they go up to a beach after woods as well with Luke Jamie and some other guy they know who now owns a house there. The beach is several hours away from Sydney, and a ten hour drive from Melbourne. Bella had completely forgotten this year and was now frantically making arrangements. I was wondering if she was going to ask me to come or not.
"I need to book a flight from Melbourne airport to Marrimbula because I hate that 10 hour drive. Crap what's the date." I watched her and Eliza for the next hour while they figured out the right dates and times.
"So this beach, is it any good?" Louis asked.
"Oh my god its amazing!" Bella exclaimed. "The waves are perfect and you don't even have to go out very far and there is practically never anyone at the beach and the whole town is so tiny any perfect and Beachy and it's just perfect," Bella gushed. "I'd say you guys should come but I don't think Simon would let you." Bella shrugged, looking a little disappointed. At least she was thinking of asking.
"Actually Simon's fine with it. He said he's happy to fly us down to Melbourne wherever. Nialls been bugging him to let us go for a while 'coz he wants to see his family down there and I texted him just before, he said its fine, you should take Harry to that family thing with Eliza, unless it's strictly family, but most family reunions I know of allow boyfriends to come." Louis explained. Bella looked at me quizzically.
"Would you want to come with me?" Is she honestly asking that. Like....seriously?
"Of course I would. If it's okay with you then yeah of course I would love to go." I smiled and her whole face relaxed.
"I'd love it if you came."
5 days later
"Flight 135 to Melbourne boarding now." The overhead voice called out. I stood up along with everyone else. I havn't been back to Melbourne since last year.
"You okay." Harry leaned close to my ear. I nodded nervously and he smiled sympathetically.
"I love you Bella." He planted a kiss to my temple before taking my hand in his much larger one and walking to the little booth before you enter the tunnel leading to the plane. I, along with Dani, El, Luke, Jamie, Eliza and the boys handed our boarding passed to the attendant and walked onto the plane. As there was so many of us, we were scattered around the plane. I was with Harry. We talked and listened to music while the plane took off, and as soon as the seatbelt light went off we both unbuckled ourselves and I snuggled up to Harry. We stayed in a comfortable silence while Harry played with my hair and I observed every aspect of each and every person and thing in my sight of vision. A girl stood up and walked past us. I could very clearly see her underwear through her clothes. She has such a perfect body. Why can't I look like that. Why arn't I as pretty as her.
"Psst..Harry, you can see that girls underwear." I pointed to the girl, although Harry didn't look, he just shrugged.
"Oh stop being a good boyfriend and look." I pointed again,and tryed to hide the blush forming from the fact that Harry didn't even look at her when I pointed her out. He turned back and shrugged again.
"Eh I much prefer looking at you." He smiled. Oh god he is so perfect. How did he get stuck with me? He is way to good for me. He probably doesn't love me anyway. People can't love me, people love people like Eliza and Harry and Jamie and Dani and all of them. I don't think Harry loves me because I don't see why he would love me. I certainly don't love me. My parents didnt, my sisters didnt. I don't blame them for not loving me, what's so loveable about me anyway...
"Bella," Harry shook me lightly. "We're about to land, you gotta be awake." I groaned loudly, earning a few glares from middle aged people.
"Why? The plane isn't going to effected if I'm asleep while it lands. Plus I got like no sleep. This plane rides like only a few hours, that's not enough sleep." I complained and Harry laughed lightly at me.
"I don't make the rules, I just get to wake you up and learn that no matter what time of the day it is, you still don't like being woken up." He teased me.
"Oh shut up."I poked out my tongue at him and he leaned over me, clicking in my seatbelt and putting his arm around me, having my head comfortably lean on his shoulder.
"I love you so much Harry." I blurted out randomly.
"I love you too baby. To every star and back again." He leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was short but full of passion and emotion. And love, although I'm not sure if the love is just from me because Harry can't love me. He just......can't. I rested my eyes while the plane landed, Harry constantly making sure I wasn't asleep, and once the plane landed we were the last to get off because I refused to move until I had to. Once we got off the plane I took a good look around the airport.
"Home." I whispered quietly. No matter how long I live in Sydney or anywhere else for that matter, Melbourne will always be my home.
"Let's get our bags then we'll take a cab to Eliza's Mum's place. Niall's gonna come with us since his cousins live relatively close to where we are going." I nodded at Harry, only half listening. I continued looking around the airport, actually recognising a person here and there. We got our bags and all piled into different cabs, telling the drivers the address. There was no paperazzi or fans as our trip to Melbourne had not been noticed yet. Hopefully by the time it is we will be on our way to the beach in New South Wales. I looked out the window the entire drive, remembering almost every street we passed. My palms started sweating as we neared a place I knew all to well. My breath caught as we passed my old house. It looked the same as it always did.
"Uh I'm starving!" Niall complained, bringing back many memories.
"One thing Richard, that's all I asked you to do, that's it! Buy the groceries. That's it. One little thing and your too drunk to even do that!" My mother scolded my father as I cowered in the corner of the room, invisible to them.
"Well I'm sorry Jeniffer! Did your whoring around get in the way of maybe reminding me just once! Fuck woman could you not have left a note or something!" He slurred, a bottle of clear liquid I didn't know of in his hands.
"Do you want our kids to starve? Because that's what happens when they don't get enough food. They starve." She snapped at him.
"Like you give a rats arse about the kids. We have a drug using..... what is she...11 year old or something for gods sake! And the little book worm who's like I dunno 7 or 6 or 8. I don't know how ever old Isabella is. Then the little one who's already somehow a fucking brat. Our kids are fuck ups who cares if they starve!" I looked down at my toes. I knew my parents didnt like me but I'm 7 and it would be nice to not have my father say he doesn't care if I starve.
"Well what do you want me to do Richard. I have shit to do I don't have time to buy food for the kids, and you speand all our fucking money on alcohol. We tried giving the money to Isabella and she brought some salad shit home. What do you want me to do?!" The yelling continued and I was able to slip out of the room without them even realising I was there in the first place. I ran up to my room and grabbed my teddy, Blue Bear, then got under the sheets of my bed which was about a hundred times too big for someone as small as me.
I sat up under the covers and brought my hands together, whispering so no-one would here me.
"Dear Lord. I pray that Mummy and Daddy stop yelling all the time and don't be mean to the people around them because they don't realise it hurts people and makes them feel bad. I also pray that you help Blue Bear feel better, I think he might have a bit of a cold. God I thank you for my house and friends and teachers and the pretty sky and the hundreds of stars you put in the sky and everything I should be grateful for. I thank you for the things I do have and I only ask you help the people around me because I shouldn't ask things for myself, only others. I don't matter, just make other people happy please.
As a tear slipped from my eye and down my face, I hugged my bear to me and cryed softly, waiting for sleep to come, because I have nice dreams with tea parties and people are happy.
"Bella." Harry's voice brought me back to reality.
"Yeah," I swallowed before I spoke, as I did not trust my voice in the slightest.
"Niall was wondering where the nearest food place is." He smiled. I faked a smile back.
"There's a Macca's in a few minutes." When Harry looked at me I repeated the sentence saying MCDonalds instead.
When we got out at Macca's Louis El and Zayn were coincidently there getting food aswell.
"Hey." I smiled at Louis. Harry had gone to the toilets and Niall was ordering some food. His eyes darted to my arm.
"What happened." He pointed the two parallel scars high up on my arm.
"Just scraped it on a bookshelf, probably shouldn't read while walking around." I laughed and he smiled, believing every word of what I was saying.
I do my know why but the flashback from this chapter made me really emotional.........also something came to mind. If what I write about..ya know..triggers anyone (you know what I mean if it is you) then I am begging you to message me please, I don't care if your some random chick from Russia I don't bite so please message me if you need/want to.
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i had had this little writing spree so I actually have most of the next chapter written already. "You. Ahead with your writing?" Hehe I know I'm proud of me ^__^
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