Five Lovestories

"Bim.." I said carefully, trying not to mess something up.

She was standing on her knees, with her arms still hanging on the sides of her. Her eyes were shut in pain, not physical, but probably in guilt. Her face were red, and her cheeks had tiger stripes all over them.

"Please.. don't cry.. we can talk abo-"

"Shut up Kath!!" She screamed.

It came as a surprise to me, and I flinched backwards. Even though I was sure that I could forgive her, I was determinded about that we could try again, it pissed me off. She really wasn't the one who should be yelling, even less talk to me with that attitude.

"We can't fix this, okay?! Becoming friends was stupid from the first place, I knew it would be.."

"E-excuse me?" I asked with an angry frown.

"I'm too complicated for you, Kath! You can't keep walking in on me, doing shit like this.."

"Then don't do it!" I screamed. "I've heard a lot of bad excuses in my life, Bim. But this has to take the price.. You're too complicated for me?! I haven't told you my story yet, you know!"

I really didn't mean to scream at her, but the words came bubbling up. Sure, I might have started to forgive her, but there was still anger behind it all.

"You didn't have to, I already know you enough! You're mommys sweet little girl, daddys angel, blah, blah, blah..! We don't have to be friends anymore, okay?! You hurted me, I hurted you, end of story!"

"It's not the end, okay?!" I screamed and took a step closer. "If we could only move on from this circle of hatred, we could actually connect really good! Look, you're right. I hurted you, you hurted me. But now we can learn from that, and grow stonger, together!"

"Don't.." Bim said and stood up from her sitting position. "Don't make me like you.."

"What, so, this is where we are now? You don't even like me anymore?! And yet, you were the one who did all of this to me..! Great!"

"I.. I.. Cut me some slack, Kath!"

"Interesting word of choice.." I mumbled.

"Okay, that's just mean, Kath!"

I sighed. She was right. This fight was just pointless.

"I want to be friends with you, okay? Can't we just fucking try?"

"No, we can't.. I can't live with myself if we're going to be friends, because I'll always know what I did to you!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's fine?! I'm not exactly thrilled about what you did, but I choose to forgive you!"

"I'm just not ready.." She sobbed and barged out of the door.

Before I could stop her, she was gone. I concentrated on my breathing, and tried to stay away from tearing up.
That whole evening was a mess. I skipped dinner, took a three hour long shower and tried to text Sarah, call dad, anything to scratch off the numb feeling I was carrying around. I didn't know where Bim had went, but she didn't come back. Later, Zayn came over.

"Are you okay?" He wondered quietly in the doorway.

I held the door open, looked down at my shoes, and shooked my head in silence. Zayn came in and gave me a big hug. While I was packing my stuff, Zayn and I decided to stay the night in my place. In case Bim came back, we could corner her, and make her stay. And if not.. We would just have to find her at the airport the next morning.

"Is that it?" Zayn asked towards my pile of clothes.

"Yeah. And I threw in some extra sweaters, in case.."

"I get it." He said, and tugged my hips closer to him. "She'll come around, alright?"

"I'm not so sure about that.. She was very clear on the point that she did not want to be my friend.."

"It must've been so hard for you, walking in on her like that.." Zayn said low and I nodded.

"It's not.. the first time.."

"Wait.. it's not?" He asked with a serious tone. "Oh God, Kath.."

Suddenly, it knocked on the door.

"I'll get it." I said and wiped my cheeks.

I opened, and there was Niall. He wad holding my favourite Starbucks. He looked great, but he also looked concerned.

"Hi.." I said with a raspy cry-voice. "Oh, look! My favourite..!"

"Is everything alright? Because I saw you running out of class earlier.." He said, sounding worried.

"Yeah, I know, I just.. I'll tell you when all of this is solved.." I smiled and accpeted his gift.

"Okay.. I'm here for you, okay?" He said and smiled.

I nodded, and wasn't really thinking when I embraced him with a hug.

"Thank you, for caring." I said and stroked some of his messy hair upon his perfect quiff.

"I will always care about you." He said with his charming smile, and with his adorable Irish accent.

"Hey, bud." Zayn said, suddenly behind me.

"Hi. Long time no talk, huh?" Niall said, with what looked like a sad smile.

"Yeah. Hey, you're not bailing on the trip tomorrow, are you?"

Niall laughed.

"Course not! See you guys tomorrow, then?" He asked.

"See you. And thanks, by the way." I said and raised the Starbucks in the air.


All night, I could only think about Bim. And how the trip seemed so far away. I wasn't even up for it anymore, what was even the point?
When I realized the only thing I had been doing was twisting and turning around in the bed I was sharing with Zayn, I got up on my feet. The clock was 4:01am, and I could feel in the air that I was the only one awake in the building. In silence, I walked to the bathroom and washed my face. What if Bim wouldn't join us to go to America? It was optional, and I was pretty sure that if she had to decide, she would rather spend the weekend with her laptop than to socialize with a bunch of people. And if Bim chose to stay back at the college, I knew that all I would think about on the trip was her.. Before I had the chance to figure out what I wanted to do, someone opened the bathroom door.

"Hey, what are you doing..?" Zayn yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"I just.. I can't sleep.." I said while I was leaning on the sink.

"Is this about Bim?" He asked tired.

"No.." I lied. "Or.. I don't know, I just don't think that I can go.. to.."

"Wait, what?"

I sighed and walked past him, out of the door. I put on a pair of sweatpants and changed my bra.

"What are you saying? That you won't go on the trip now, just because you had one bad nights sleep? Kath, c'mon!"

"It's not just that! It's the whole thing, I just don't feel like taking a trip when I know I'm going to return to a hell anyway.. And I feel sick. It's just not a good time."

"It's a schooltrip, it's not like we're going to Hawaii! And besides, sometimes we need to just get away, get some perspective, you know.. Maybe it'll help! Hey, are you listening?"

"Yes!" I shouted. "I am, I'm just dealing with a lot, okay?"

I packed down some things in my purse and put on a pair of slippers on my bare feet.

"Where are you going?" Zayn asked me, still only wearing boxers.

"Away from here!" I screamed, but regretted it the second I said it. "Look, I'm sorry.. You just have to go without me. Catch up with the boys, have some alonetime with them, I don't know!"

"The only one I want alonetime with is you, and you're running from me.. Look, this is my week, shouldn't I at least have it with you?"

I knew he was right, but I was way too tired and frustrated too admit it. I just shook my head and slammed the door close behind me.

Notes