Five Lovestories

"Zayn..!" I said and crashed into his arms.

After the upset reunion with Bim, after the awkward and fast packing, after all the emotions, I really just needed something to cheer me up. Something to get me on other thoughts. I needed Zayn. His arms were tightly wrapped around me, and his beard tickled the top of my head. But I didn't laugh.

"What happened?" He asked me.

What happened? Well, what did happen? How could I answer that, when I barely knew the answer myself?
Then it hit me. He still didn't know about the whole situation. He didn't know that Bim and I fighted about Louis, he didn't know I confronted Louis about it, he didn't know Bim gave me the tape, he definitely didn't know what the tape contained, and he didn't know I went over to Louis and broke down in front of him. What if I told him? No, I can't, I thought. It will only create problems. I'm with Zayn now, I love him, and if I whine about my problems with Louis, he'll get jealous, and nothing will happen between us. No, I can tell him another time, like sometime I'm not about to go on a romantic date.

"I.. I went to Bims.. A-and.. she was still upset."

"Still? She should really forgive you, I don't think you did anything wrong by telling me.."

"No, right?" I said and fake-agreed. "Anyways. When's the date?"

I tried, for his sake, to seem excited. Not that I wasn't, I just thought I would be happier about it. Then Louis happened. And Bim. And me. God, I really needed, just for tonight, to stop thinking about it. And not only for Zayns, but my sake too.

"Well, I made reservations at a place, uh, I don't know what it's called.." He said and nervously scratched his hair. "The bus leaves like 7:00pm, is that okay?"

The bus, I thought and actually smiled for real. Sure, Harrys week was fun with the limos, but I actually loved Zayn for keeping it normal. Or well, maybe getting to a date by a bus wasn't very normal, but I wasn't strong enough for all the fancy crap. I nodded and hugged Zayn.

"That'll be perfect." I hummed against this rock-hard chest.

"Good." He said and kissed my head. "Well, it's already 5:29pm.. I s-should go.. uhm, shower.."

"Okay." I said and gave him a forced smile.


Since Zayn was at his dormitory, and I couldn't bare to spend the day at my own room, I rushed away to the public toilets. But I didn't spend all the time fixing myself, I actually spent most of the time crying. I didn't want to. I wanted to be strong. Stronger. I wanted to prove to myself that Louis meant nothing, that he could go on and kiss Bim, because I couldn't care less. But the truth was, I couldn't care more than I was already doing. It did hurt when they kissed, it did. More than I could handle. And I did care for Bim. I always would. We had the kind of relationship a mother has to her daughter. She will love her through rain and drougt, no matter what. Same was with me and Bim. And Louis may just mean everything to me. His kindness, his humor, his tattooed outside, but his humble inside. His everything..
Over and over, my brain was fighting against itself, the different sides tried to prove the other one wrong, but everytime I ended up in the same vicious circle, I had to stop myself. How could I still feel this, think this, after what they had done to me?
I ended up in front of the mirror, trying to wipe away my tears and put on makeup. But everytime I got on my rep lipstick, and my long mascara, and my perfectly lined eyeliner, I dropped it all, and broke down in new tears.

"I'm not wasting anymore time on them. No more tears." I growled low to my own reflection.

And then I took up my mascara one last time, my eyeliner, my powder, my lipstick. And when I was done, I quicky put on my dress and my jacket, and fixed the last things. When the whole outfit was complete, I actually managed to keep the tears inside of me. I felt like I was more collected, nothing could break me now. I looked at the clock on the wall, and was amazed by how fast time can fly by. It was already 6:43pm.

Kathleen: I'm waiting for you in the cafeteria. Are you done?

I sent the text to Zayn and waited a little restless for a replay.

Zayn: Yes, I'm ready. I'll be there in two. I bet you look beautiful by the way. Or, I know you look beautiful, heh.

I blushed. He seemed nervous even on textmessage. I packed down my things in my handbag, and walked to the cafeteria. Just like I had told him, I waited for him there. When I saw him coming down the stairs, I gasped for air. He looked stunning. It was casual, cool, and so hot.

"Wow.. you, uh, look.." He said and scanned my whole body.

It felt good, even though he really couldn't find his words to describe.

"Let's go." I said and took his hand.


The dinner was perfect. It was not too fancy, but it really wasn't a crappy restuarant. The food was absolutely delicious. Living on food made by either me or Zayn, or food bought in a box was something I needed a break from.

"On a scale. How good is this?" He asked when he had swallowed his last potato.

"One to ten? Because in that case, eleven."

Zayn chuckled low and started on his last peice of steak.

"The sauce is so great, I'm in heaven." I said and poured on some more on my salad.

"Tell me about it. I really wished I could cook, but it's just not in my blood."

I laughed.

"So, have you heard from your family at all?" I wondered.

Zayn shook his head.

"No, they like to think that I'm working so hard, that there's no time for talking. They think they'll interrupt."

"Oh. Well, that's kinda sweet though."

"Yeah, I guess." Zayn smiled. "I just miss them. Especially my sisters."

"What was their names again? Safaa was one of them, right?"

"That's correct!" He said with a surprised tone. "Safaa, Doniya and Waliyha."

"I love those names. They're so beautiful." I said, making Zayn blush. "I love the name Zayn too, by the way."

"Thank you." He said low with red cheeks. "Did you know that my real name is spelled Zain, with an "i"?"

"No, I didn't! That's so cool! Why did you change it?"

Zayn waited while chewing his food. I smiled at his patience.

"I don't know, it looks better with an "y", doesn't it?"

"You could wear any name." I smiled.

I mashed my potato, and thought of Louis's face. How I wanted to smash it, but still.. No, I thought. Don't start here, don't start to think. If I start now, I'll get lost in my thoughts, and it'll be too late.
Instead, I looked up, and faced Zayns slightly worried gaze.

"Where are your thoughts, Kath?" He asked.

"Oh, I was just.. thinking about the restuarant. It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is." He said with his happy smile.

But my smile faded. The tape of Louis, grabbing Bims neck and pulling her in.. the ache in my stomach was actually physical, not just mental.

"Are you okay?" Zayn asked carefully.

"Yes, I'm fine!" I smiled, maybe too big, and took another bite of my dinner.

"You seem a little.. I don't know, lost.. Are you feeling okay?"

"Zayn." I said and leaned forward. "I'm feeling okay. It's just.. been a long day."

"Okay, whenever you feel tired, I can order a cab." He hurried to say.

I nodded. I felt bad for keep lying to him, because I knew it would come out sooner or later. But for now, this was more than I could handle. Zayn knew something was up, and not even my carefully picked outfit and my well-made makeup could cover that. I just needed to find a better moment to tell him, like, the last day of our relationship.

"So, have you talked to Harry?" Zayn asked.

I almost dropped my fork. Harry. I hadn't spent a thought about him all day long, but my heartrace suddenly doubled.

"Uhm." I said and tried to look normal.

"Or Niall? Liam? Louis?"

Niall and Liam! Holy shit, I hadn't spent a thought about them all week! What was wrong with me? We were supposed to keep in touch with each other, be friends! And I had barely seen them in class! This needed to change, I realized that I missed them terrible.

"No, have you?" I answered.

"Nah, not much." He said.

That's when I realized, things really need to change.

"What about we all hang someday? I miss those guys." I said.

"Yeah, sure!" Zayn shrugged with a smile.

"Because I don't want you guys to become like enemies over me, or even loose touch, you know."

Zayn nodded. I was happy he understood. Harry wouldn't.

"Great." I smiled.

After a few glasses of wine, we got back to the collage. I fell asleep in his arms. In his safe, warm, long arms.

Notes