When I finished feeding Ella I gave her back to Celeste and headed back to face the consequences of my decision. Liam was sitting patiently outside of Niall's room. I came towards him suddenly feeling like a guilty child having to face her father.
There was an awkward silence when I reached him before I found the strength to break it, "Is he bad?"
Liam looked at me sadly and that was when I noticed how sleep deprived and on edge with stress Liam is.
"He was. But when I got him some serious professional help and he's better, enough to function but he's still not himself" he replied.
I blinked rapidly, trying to avoid crying, but it only made the tears cascade down my cheeks faster. Liam's face immediately soften as he came over to me and started to wipe my tears.
He whispered, "Why did you leave, Hadley? I don't want to hear the sugarcoated answer. Tell it to me straight."
I replied, "Well when Niall and I were preparing for the wedding, we started talking about having a family and he said he didn't want to have a baby until he could see again. So when I found out I was expecting Ella, I ran. I worried Niall would be mad at me or really sad that he couldn't see his own child. It seemed like a good decision at the time but as the days ticked on, I realized how lonely I am. Liam, do you think he'll ever want anything to do with me ever again?"
Liam stood up a little taller and in a very serious tone said, "Hadley, I love you like one of my best friends but Niall is my brother and I know him well enough that he probably will take you back without any hesitation because of how much he'll always care for you no matter how much you hurt him. That's just Nialler's personality. But I can't watch him hurt again."
He choked on the last couple words as tears started falling down his cheeks. I suddenly felt like someone had taken a dull knife right in my heart. I broke not only one man but two. Liam had to watch Niall suffer for all this time because I left. I suddenly felt like maybe the damage I made was too much for too long for Ni and I to ever be okay again. To be honest if Ella weren't depending on me, I would like to die because I don't deserve to live for hurting two wonderful, sweet guys like I did. I sat on the floor and curled my knees to my chest in an attempt to keep myself together as best as possible even though I feel myself being ripped to shreds from the inside out.
I cried out "Liam, what do you want me to do?"
He looked up at me with a pained expression and said "Honestly? I know Niall needs you and the only way he'll be back to himself is if you are back in his life and loving him like before. Now I can't guarantee he'll accept you back into his heart easily and I know I can't trust you with his heart so try not to take it personally if I'm a little overprotective over Nialler. I'm just worried about how much more he can handle in his fragile state."
I said "Liam, if Niall takes me back, I will never leave him or hurt him ever again. I can promise that. But how do we tell him I'm here?"
Liam said "I'm sure he can figure it out by the sound of your voice and we'll play it by ear."