Help Me (Louis Tomlinson)
Prologue
Have you ever felt so broken? Sad? Unloved? Well... that's the story of my life and trust me these jumble of emotions aren't exactly the best things to fell.
I was now walking home from school sad at the fact that it was now the last day of school. Everyone who lives a normal life are probably ecstatic, maybe not the nerds but you know I'm not trying to be the stereo type. The problem is I'm special... and not the good kind either.
I walked inside the house to see my mum on the couch knocked out with a beer can in hand. I breathed in the smell of vodka and alcohol and believe me they smell disgusting. Relieved I silently ran up the stairs to drop my bag in my room and went back down to get my meal for the day. My mum (A/N if you even call her that once you get to know Mac's mum) never fed me she thinks I'm too worthless to have a full stomach.
I walked out the kitchen with a bag of lays chips that I kept a secret stash of and an apple along with a juice box excited to eat. I charged up my room closing the door behind me and plopped down my bed eating my food and cleaning up. Soon I was surrounded by the realm of darkness other wise known as sleep.
I woke up with a start as I felt something drip down my arm, I looked down and internally groaned at the site of my mum cutting it forming a word I can't see. I screamed and trashed around in agony startling her and received a slap hard enough to knock me out again.
"Shut up slut!" She hissed at me whilst I whimpered in pain. "The neighbors will hear!" Oh so I'm the one being cut up like meat and all she cares about is the neighbors hearing?! I thought to myself. When will she change?
I was now bawling afraid of what she might do next. She smiled her devious little smile of hers in satisfactory of her masterpiece pretending my arm was her canvas. Yeah. we weren't poor but we're not rich either so she can afford her alcoholic drinks and pay for the mortgage and other things perfectly fine. She just thinks I'm not worth the money to spend on. Ever since Dal- nevermind it's too painful to even think about.
"What do you think of it?" She asked as I looked down to gently, ok ine not so gently, wiping off the blood wincing at my touch every now and then. There written in my arm for everyone to read was worthless. I started crying how could my own mother do this to me?!
I got punched causing me to yelp out in both surprise and pain. "Oi, bitch shut the hell up your annoying voice is hurting my ears!" She screeched loud enough to hurt my eardrums but low enough for none of the neighbors to hear. She kicked my stomach and hit me for what seemed like a lifetime until she was appeased to see the damage she's done. Smiling as if she won an olympic gold medal she walked out my room and went down probably to drink more.
This only disgusted me more. How can she do this? To her own flesh and blood,daughter, family I thought. I'm sad that Ash left me and so did Ryder. Ash found out because that one faithful day she accidentally walked in on my mum in the middle of beating me. Yup, my mum beats me and verbally abuses me I know I know what your thinking... What kind of mum beats and abuses her daughter? Believe me when I say if I only knew myself. Ryder knows because he also gets beaten and abused like me. Ryder is also my brother but he ran away when he was 16 and me 13. He couldn't bring me because if he didn't find shelter and die he didn't want me to die with him. I know I love to bits and pieces but I can't even find him.
"Whore, someone wants to see you," she effectively snapped me out of my daze and pushed me out the house and swiftly shut the door and locked it. I heard her cackle like the witch that she is making silly faces out the window. Bitch, I thought.
I waited for her to go someplace else so she wouldn't see the ladder I secretly hid in the bushes to climb to my room. I sometimes sneaked out to the pond close by when I felt sad or stressed basically when i needed to relax. I quickly climbed up with cautious because I didn't want to fall off. I got the first aid kit I always kept and walked to the bathroom connected to my room and closed it behind me. I sighed then cringed at the cuts and bruises decorating my face and body. Geez thanks mum I really needed more to my collection, I thought sarcastically. I quickly cleaned myself up leaving the masterpiece she made for the end.
I looked down tears starting to form. I felt something warm and wet trickling down my face. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, I chanted in my head. But, that was enough to let the dam holding the tears to break leaving me sobbing as I continuously looked down at the reminder of my arm.
That's when I finally made my decision, little did I know it was one that will change my life forever.
I was now walking home from school sad at the fact that it was now the last day of school. Everyone who lives a normal life are probably ecstatic, maybe not the nerds but you know I'm not trying to be the stereo type. The problem is I'm special... and not the good kind either.
I walked inside the house to see my mum on the couch knocked out with a beer can in hand. I breathed in the smell of vodka and alcohol and believe me they smell disgusting. Relieved I silently ran up the stairs to drop my bag in my room and went back down to get my meal for the day. My mum (A/N if you even call her that once you get to know Mac's mum) never fed me she thinks I'm too worthless to have a full stomach.
I walked out the kitchen with a bag of lays chips that I kept a secret stash of and an apple along with a juice box excited to eat. I charged up my room closing the door behind me and plopped down my bed eating my food and cleaning up. Soon I was surrounded by the realm of darkness other wise known as sleep.
I woke up with a start as I felt something drip down my arm, I looked down and internally groaned at the site of my mum cutting it forming a word I can't see. I screamed and trashed around in agony startling her and received a slap hard enough to knock me out again.
"Shut up slut!" She hissed at me whilst I whimpered in pain. "The neighbors will hear!" Oh so I'm the one being cut up like meat and all she cares about is the neighbors hearing?! I thought to myself. When will she change?
I was now bawling afraid of what she might do next. She smiled her devious little smile of hers in satisfactory of her masterpiece pretending my arm was her canvas. Yeah. we weren't poor but we're not rich either so she can afford her alcoholic drinks and pay for the mortgage and other things perfectly fine. She just thinks I'm not worth the money to spend on. Ever since Dal- nevermind it's too painful to even think about.
"What do you think of it?" She asked as I looked down to gently, ok ine not so gently, wiping off the blood wincing at my touch every now and then. There written in my arm for everyone to read was worthless. I started crying how could my own mother do this to me?!
I got punched causing me to yelp out in both surprise and pain. "Oi, bitch shut the hell up your annoying voice is hurting my ears!" She screeched loud enough to hurt my eardrums but low enough for none of the neighbors to hear. She kicked my stomach and hit me for what seemed like a lifetime until she was appeased to see the damage she's done. Smiling as if she won an olympic gold medal she walked out my room and went down probably to drink more.
This only disgusted me more. How can she do this? To her own flesh and blood,daughter, family I thought. I'm sad that Ash left me and so did Ryder. Ash found out because that one faithful day she accidentally walked in on my mum in the middle of beating me. Yup, my mum beats me and verbally abuses me I know I know what your thinking... What kind of mum beats and abuses her daughter? Believe me when I say if I only knew myself. Ryder knows because he also gets beaten and abused like me. Ryder is also my brother but he ran away when he was 16 and me 13. He couldn't bring me because if he didn't find shelter and die he didn't want me to die with him. I know I love to bits and pieces but I can't even find him.
"Whore, someone wants to see you," she effectively snapped me out of my daze and pushed me out the house and swiftly shut the door and locked it. I heard her cackle like the witch that she is making silly faces out the window. Bitch, I thought.
I waited for her to go someplace else so she wouldn't see the ladder I secretly hid in the bushes to climb to my room. I sometimes sneaked out to the pond close by when I felt sad or stressed basically when i needed to relax. I quickly climbed up with cautious because I didn't want to fall off. I got the first aid kit I always kept and walked to the bathroom connected to my room and closed it behind me. I sighed then cringed at the cuts and bruises decorating my face and body. Geez thanks mum I really needed more to my collection, I thought sarcastically. I quickly cleaned myself up leaving the masterpiece she made for the end.
I looked down tears starting to form. I felt something warm and wet trickling down my face. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, I chanted in my head. But, that was enough to let the dam holding the tears to break leaving me sobbing as I continuously looked down at the reminder of my arm.
That's when I finally made my decision, little did I know it was one that will change my life forever.
glad u enjoyed it :D
8/2/13