Love Will Tell Us Where To Go

I couldn’t help but question my own sanity by the way Harry was looking at me. “Come on, don’t look at me like that! You can’t honestly expect me to stay here with her now that I know what she did!” Staying calm was harder than I anticipated. But what do you expect to happen when you find out that you’ve been lied to your entire life?

“I’m sorry. I understand. I mean, I don’t, but…” his obvious loss of words gave me a chance to cut in.

“I can’t do it. I can’t. I was thinking about it before but…not now. We have to leave, Harry. I can barely stand the thought of being here with her one more night much less months.”

After looking me over with apprehension, he looked over at Chloe who seemed deep in thought. He was probably hoping that she would back him up. Maybe even come up with a good reason for me to not leave. If that is what he wanted, he didn’t get it.

The warmth of his hand as he enclosed them in mine managed to calm me down for a moment. That is until I suddenly feel afraid. What if he won’t agree with me? What if I can’t convince him to come with me? I can’t lose him.

“I love you, Megan. I would go with you to the ends of the earth, but are you sure that this is the best idea? What if your mom calls the police and reports you as missing? Even if we’re with your father, would we not still get in trouble?”

“But he’s my father.” I protested. The feeling of comfort I had mere seconds ago quickly fading.

“But he’s not your legal guardian. Plus, I bet it’s not even on record that he’s your dad. Do you know how much trouble we could get in? You might get away with it, but me? I could be charged with kidnapping.”

My face burned hot with anger and frustration. I shouldn’t be mad at him. Maybe I’m not. I don’t know. All I know is I am angry. Mainly at life in general.

“I need to be alone.” I mumbled as I hurried out of the living room and go back to my bedroom.

I don’t know how long I lay on my back staring at the sky through my sun roof. I want to cry, but I can’t. I feel so…empty. A part of me wishes that I could just go back to being in the dark.

Chloe walks in the room silently. I don’t even realize she’s in the room until she says my name while standing right next to my bed.

“You’ve been up here a while. Do you want to talk?” She sits on the edge of the bed, prompting me to sit up.

“What am I suppose to say? That my life is majorly screwed up?” That came out a lot harsher than I wanted it to. I shouldn’t be taking out my feelings on her.

“I’m sorry.” I tell her with a sigh. Sleeping in a tent in the cold is just now starting to hit me. I’m so tired.

“Come here.” she said as she hugs me. “I’m sorry, Megan. I know this is a lot to take in. But I’m here for you. Harry is here for you. Don’t you dare think for a second that you’re alone.”

“What do I do now?” My voice cracked as I spoke, but no tears came.

“You’re going to live.” she says as she pulls away.

“Chloe, you know what I mean.”

“And you know what I mean. You are a strong person, Megan. Stronger than you realize, apparently.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. Me? Strong?

“How many people could have gone through what you’ve gone through without having a major melt down? Not many. You’re going to be fine, Megan. You’ll make it through this. In fact, I think things are going to start getting a lot better.”

Guilt starts to set in as I think back to all of the things I’ve kept from her. There have been so many times when I felt depressed but lied and told her I was fine. She doesn’t even know how close I came to taking my own life. Would she still think I’m strong if she did?

I guess it took some strength to change my mind, but…I don’t know. I sure don’t feel strong.

“Harry really does love you.”

“I can’t stay here.” I replied simply.

“I know…I’m just saying…no matter what happens, he loves you. Just don’t forget that, okay?”

I don’t like this. I don’t like talking about the possibility of Harry not going to America with me. I almost lost him once, I’m not doing it again.

“I know you probably forgot, but my parents are picking me up to go to the airport in an hour.” she tells me after a long period of silence.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot. How could I - I’m the worst. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be like that, you know I understand.”

“No, really. I’m sorry.” I really was. Here I am, with my only friend that I haven’t seen in years, and I’m wasting the precious moments we have left. Who knows when we’ll see each other again. Although if it was up to me, it would be very soon.

To make up for lost time, Harry, Chloe, and I hung out for the next hour. No discussing my mother, my father, or plans of leaving. For an hour, we were just normal teenagers hanging out.
It was so nice to be distracted for a while. My mind couldn’t help but wander a lot, but I still enjoyed ever last second that I had left with my best friend.

I finally got to get details on what’s going on between her and Niall. After blushing and giggling, she told me that they’re going to continue talking to each other via texting and Skype. After a while they’ll decide if they want to make things official. I’m so excited for her.

When it was time for her to leave, I hugged her a few seconds longer than most would just before she went to her car.

“You’ll get things figured out, Megan. Don’t worry.” she told me as she left.

I hope she’s right.

“Don’t forget that if you need any help with anything, I will do whatever I can.”

“Thanks, Chloe. You’re the best.” She really is. How many friends would help you run away?

Wow. I have never thought such a weird sentence.

After she left, Harry and I went to my bedroom. Harry sat on my bed and I sat down right next to him.

Just when I was about to speak once the silence became too deafening, Harry’s arms were around my waist. The warmth was almost enough to make me feel whole again.

“Don’t you think it’s about time we started making our get away plan?” he said playfully against my ear.

“What?” I asked with a gasp from shock. “Harry, wait, what? Are you sure!?”

“I love you, Megan. I think - I know that we can do this.”

His assured look and smile made all of my doubts suddenly vanish. We can do this.

After kissing me gently, we headed to the kitchen for some dinner. Can’t make a plan to run away on an empty stomach.

“Are you sure that’s the best way to do it?” I asked after he insisted that we tell my mother that I want to go with him to visit some of his relatives.

“At least that way you have her permission to leave the country. After that we at least get away with being there with her permission for a while.”

“But then she’ll know where we are.” I reply.

“We wouldn’t tell her where we’re actually going. We could just say we’re going to some other state.”

“But when she realizes I’m not coming back, she’ll can find a way to see that the tickets we got were to the place we actually went to.” I seriously can not believe we are having this conversation right now.

It’s both exciting and terrifying.

Having stumped Harry with my question, I get nervous for a second. This has to work.

“Well… I guess we could go to another state then get to Minnesota after a while.”

Sounds good to me.

“That could work.” I reply.

“But how will we get there?” he asks.

“You know all of that money I’ve saved from birthdays and Christmas? Yeah, I’m finally going to use it.” I say with a smile.

“But…we won’t have a car so -“

“We can go on a train!” I exclaim. “I have plenty of money.”

He thinks a moment before cracking a smile. Today has been such a crazy day for my emotions.

“Do you think this will work?” he asks.

“Definitely.” I say even though I have doubts. My pessimistic thoughts are hard to change, but I will deny them as much as possible.

“I’m more concerned about your parents. They’ll let you go with me to see some of my relatives? I know my mom won’t care, but, you’re parents are actually pretty normal.” I say with a laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He obviously isn’t sure.

I give him a “I know when you’re lying” face to get the truth. It works.

“Even if they aren’t okay with it, I’ll be eighteen. They can’t do anything about it.”
I feel a pit in my stomach. What am I making him do? Leave his family, lie to them, and for what?

Oh that’s right, for me to not be unhappy for just a little while longer.

“Come on, love.” He raises my head by lifting up my chin. “We’re going to be fine.” He holds me close to him right before kissing me.

I hope he’s right.

The rest of the night is spent talking and watching television. By the time ten o’clock comes around, I’m completely exhausted. We agree that it’s time to go to sleep.

“Are you sure you can stay over?” I ask.

“I’ll just tell my parents the guys slept over one more night.”

After talking a bit more, we finally get in my bed.

It’s been so long since I’ve slept in his arms. It’s even nicer in a bed that’s made for more than one person.

I surprisingly lie down with a smile on my face. I never thought I would after reading that letter.

It didn’t last long.

As I faded out of consciousness, reality hit me. It keeps me in and out of consciousness before I slip into a nightmare.

Notes