Love Will Tell Us Where To Go

The first nightmare was one of many. The first was of me being in my fathers arms for only a moment before being pulled away by my mother. I was only a child, and although I couldn’t make out his face, I knew it was him. I cried and cried until my dream changed.

I don’t know where we were, but Harry and I were laughing and talking like normal. Then out of no where, cops came and tried taking him away. I screamed and cried as I begged them to stop. I told them we both ran away, that he didn’t kidnap me. Then my mother appeared and began to laugh.

Next I saw Harry’s family. But not just his parents and brothers. I saw everyone that was at the Christmas party. They were all crying because Harry was put in jail. I began to cry as well, and in reply, they all began to yell at me. They said it was all my fault. They told me they hated and me and that they would make sure I would go to jail as well.

I’m sure there were more, but they faded away from my memory by the time I woke up; which was about as pleasant as the dreams.

“It’s okay, Megan. It’s okay. Calm down. I’m right here.” he said as he held me close to him as I sobbed. His arms were firmly wrapped around me and he gently rubbed my back with one
hand. He also started to rock us lightly. It took a while for me to calm down. But eventually I went from sobbing, to weeping, then I finally stopped.

After I calmed down enough, I told him about the dreams I remembered. He told me I didn’t have to yet. He didn’t want me to get upset again. I understood his concern, but I couldn’t wait. I think I would have been worse off if I had.

“Oh my gosh, is it because of what I said? It’s because of what I said. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry like that. I’m not going to jail. Everything will be fine.”

“No, love. It’s not because of you.” Well, it kind of was, but I don’t want him to feel bad. To be honest, I had considered that horrible possibility before he brought it up. I guess I was able to push it to the back of my mind until he said it.

“Still…I’m sorry.” he kisses me quickly, but I pull him back to me and kiss him again, and for much longer.

“As much as I love this” he says with a grin, “you really should go back to sleep. It’s only one in the morning.”

He was right. And I would love to get some more rest, but I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I close my eyes.

“Don’t worry about nightmares, love. I’m right here. I’m always right here.” Despite my fear of more bad dreams, I reluctantly lay down and Harry puts his arms around me and pulls me close.

My head rests against his chest, and his head is just above mine. I feel like nothing can harm me when I am here.

I want to keep my eyes open for as long as possible, but my exhaustion is too much for me. My eye lids close, but I am still awake.

Then Harry began to lightly sing “She’s The One” by Robbie Williams. It was then when I began to slowly let go of my fears. Not only did I not have anymore nightmares, I got to fall asleep in the best way possible.
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We wake up at nine and spend the whole day together. Between doing normal stuff like eating, watching tv, playing video games, playing the guitar and singing, and jumping on the trampoline, we also began to plan how we would run away in more detail.

Have I mentioned how unreal all of this feels?

“So, we leave the 20th and come back the 3rd, right?” I ask even though I know I’m right. I’m just so nervous. I know my mom will believe me and let me go, but I just can’t stop. She did let me continue to go to school instead of being home schooled like she wanted me to do. Surely I can get away with this?

“Yes, love.” he replies with a smile. “And we’ll be visiting my grandparents. Don’t forget to tell her my parents are coming too.”

I nod in reply. I’m so lucky that I don’t have to worry about her possibly calling his parents to make sure we’re not lying.

“I’m asking her tonight.” I tell him once I decide that I could barely wait until tonight to do it much less days.

“I take it you’re just as ready to get her approval as I am?”

“More.”

He laughs as he hugs me. “This is crazy.”

“And awesome. Don’t forget awesome.” I reply before kissing his cheek.

“Just like us.” he replies with a smile.
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Harry left my house earlier than normal, 9:30, just in case my mother got here early.

She didn’t.

So I end up slowly dying inside from waiting as I try to distract myself with things that do a very poor job. I was in the middle of an episode of Sherlock when I finally heard the sound of high heels on hardwood floors. Never had I ever loved that sound before tonight.

I stop mid-step as I open my door. Do I seem too eager? Should I wait a while? Then again, wouldn’t my eagerness show how badly I want to go? If I wait she might be deep into her work and not want to be bothered.

I wait one minute exactly.

I find her in the kitchen making some coffee. She looks surprised to see me even though she only glances at me a moment before looking back to the coffee.

“Hello, Megan. I’m surprised to see you. It’s been a while.”

Angry. Suddenly I am very angry again. I’ve been so focused on figuring out how to leave I hadn’t thought of how hard it would be to face the woman that has lied to me my whole life.

I take a deep breath before speaking, “Well, you know how busy I can be with school.”

“And that boy. You know you spend way too much time with him.”

I bite my lip hard to keep from arguing with her. Then it hits me; I spend too much time with him? What a great time to ask if I can go to another country with him for two weeks.

I can’t believe I have to wait.

As she pours her coffee into a mug, I begin to silently walk away. Or so I thought. “Wait, come back here.”

I did very reluctantly. “What?”

“What?” she replied. “You’re the one who came in here and approached me first.”

Because God forbid a daughter wanting to come see her mother without having a particular reason.

“Umm…yeah, I was going to umm…well, I was wondering -“

“Megan, please, stop the stuttering and get to the point. You really do need to get rid of that habit. Such an unflattering habit. Especially when talking to bosses and other important people.”

There is no way she doesn’t say these kinds of things other than to intentionally make me hate her. There is just no way. Whatever the case is, it somehow forces the question out.

“Harry and his family are going to America to visit his grandparents and we were wondering if I could go with them.”

I wanted to throw up.

She takes a sip of her coffee and looks at me like she’s trying to solve a difficult math problem.

“No.” she replied sternly.

“I didn’t even tell you when we would be going.” I say dumbfounded.

“I don’t need to know to know that you aren’t going.”

“We leave January 20th. We’d be back the day before we leave for Australia. It works out perfectly.” I begin to plead but at the same time try to not sound pathetic.

“I don’t care. You spend too much time with him as it is. Besides, we have a lot to do before then. In fact, January 20th is your last day of school. From then on you’ll be home-schooled.”

My mind began to race as I tried to think of something, anything that would make her change her mind. “But his grandparents…they’re sick. They could…die…soon. I need to go. I need to be there.”

I am so desperate at this point I’m saying things we never even planned on me saying. Heck, I didn’t even think of it until now.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not going and there is no point in you continuing this conversation because there is nothing that you could say that would make me change my mind.” I didn’t even have time to process what she had said before she left the room and went to her office down stairs.

I stormed upstairs and grabbed my phone to call Harry. It was almost eleven, but I knew he wouldn’t be asleep. I told him I’d call him after I talked to my mom, so I know he’s dying of anticipation. It’s going to kill me to tell him the bad news, but I’m so angry, if I don’t tell him now I’ll go and take it out on her.

“You have got to be freaking kidding me.” he replies when I tell him exactly what happened.

“She let’s me do pretty much anything my whole life and now when I actually try to do something, she doesn’t let me!?” I let out a scream of frustration and kick my beanbag.

“Shh…calm down.” he tells me. “Don’t let her hear you.”

“How are you so calm?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Don’t you think one of us needs to be?” I can just see him smiling as he sits cross legged on his tiny bed in his tiny room.

“Don’t make me laugh!” I say as I do just that.

“Look, I’m calm because…I’ve had time to think about what we should do if your mom said no.”

“What?” is all I can say.

“As I was waiting for your call that took way longer than I thought it would, I started to think about the possibility of her saying no. And well, I think I know what we’re going to do.”

“Tell me!” I say as I try to not get my hopes up too much.

“We leave February 2nd. The day after my birthday. It’s actually better that way because I’ll already be eighteen. I assume my parents will want to have a party, and then the next day, we leave.”

I’m set back by the simple plan. Just leave. Don’t let my mother know anything. Just leave.

Sounds so simple yet could not be farther from the truth.

“Harry, that sounds great, but…”

“But what? You’re mom said no, but now she’ll just think you decided to go anyway. And later than planned.” he replied as though he could read my mind.

“I guess I could just leave her a note telling her I went anyway so she wouldn’t freak out…”

“Exactly!”

“By the way, my last day of school is the 20th.”

“What?” he exclaims. “Dang it, that’s eight days of school without you.” He sighed before adding, “At least I have knowing we leave after that to get me though it.”

I laugh as I realize just how difficult this will be. And yet, I believe with all of my heart that we can do it.

For right now anyway. I go back and forth so much, even I can’t keep up with how I’m feeling at any given moment.

“I guess we’ll have to start getting ready to make all of this happen. You know, get plane tickets, tell Chloe what we’re doing, all of that.”

“Yeah…yeah, we do.” he replies. “You should go to bed. After that rough night last night, you really should get some sleep.”

“I could always have more nightmares, you know.” I reply.

“If you do, call me, any time, and I will be over there in a minute.”

I laugh as I picture him rushing in my room at two in the morning.

“I love you.” I tell him once my laughter fades.

“I love you, Megan.”

“See you tomorrow at 9:30?” I ask not wanting to hang up.

“9:30 exactly.” he replies. “Goodnight, love. And sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight.” I wait a few seconds before hanging up.

I know he wants me to sleep, but instead I finish watching Sherlock. After that, I lay down and try to get sleepy.

After a while I can’t stand not being able to go to sleep. I get up and go get the CD Harry made for me. On it are bunch of songs he knows I like, and a few he picked out based on those songs. I plug up my CD player and put the disk in. I set it close to my bed and turn the volume down really low.

I close my eyes and soon get sleepy. The next thing I know, I’m asleep. I dream, but this time, they’re not nightmares. In fact, they are some of the best dreams ever.

Notes