Journals
In My Eyes
Harry's POV
She runs. Right after I tell her how I feel, she runs. I can't believe I was so stupid. She doesn't love me. She doesn't even love herself. God. How was I so stupid! I finally found her and I let her go! I’m so stupid I shouldn’t have done this. I groan loudly and sink in my seat. God. I am an idiot. I have to take one damn step at time. Not jump it. I wish I was smarter.
I grab my phone and turn it on. Eight missed calls and twelve texts. Dammit. I pick the most recent missed call and dial it. Let’s see. One ring... Two rings... Three rings... Better not send me to the f*cking voice mail... “Hello?” Zayn’s voice says.
“Hey Zayn,” I tell him.
“Harry! God man, you had us worried,” He practically yells. “Where are you?”
“Birmingham,” I sigh. “And I think I screwed up man. Big time.”
Dakota’s POV
I have no idea where I’m going. I’ve been recieving where stares as I pass people. I would’ve ran farther, but I’m low on energy. As everyone knows, I don’t eat that much. I can’t. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’m too everything. My weak body stops to lean against the nearest wall which happened to be part of a bookstore. Hm. Seems like a good place. I adjust my hoodie and start walking inside.
Due to the time, not many people are here. There’s two boys and three girls. All of them sitting at tables reading books. No one looks up at me as I enter, being too engrossed by literature. I walk into the nearest aisle and look through the books. It was labeled Realistic Fiction so I figured I’d give it a shot. After a few books, I find one titled Thirteen Reasons Why.
It’s about this guy who finds a box of thirteen cassette tapes on his porch when he comes back from school with his name on it. The tapes are from his classmate/crush that had committed suicide. On each tape is one reason why she killed herself. He is one of the reasons and he has to listen to them to find out why.
Sounds interesting. And cheap. I have about ten dollars in my pocket. I can buy it. I walk to the counter and pay for the book. If I'm gonna be alone for all this time, might as well have something to do. Hanging with the guys is a definite no. I love literature so why not read a book? After buying the book, I exit the store and head to a hotel. It’s not like all the nice ones like Best Western or the Marriott. It’s a small family owned one. I’ve passed it by lots of times so I figured I could st6ay there today.
Harry’s POV
No calls. No texts. No voice mails. Well, from her to me. I left about a million of each. I can’t help, but feel worried. I hate not knowing. I’ve known this girl for what? Four days? God, so much has happened in less than a week. I just... I don’t know. I’ve just been waiting so long for someone like her.
Have you met someone you just love on sight? Their hair, their eyes, their voice. Everything about them is perfect. You think you’ve found the one. But then reality hits telling you that they will never fall for you. Whether it’s social standings or current love interests. It hurts so much that you love them, but won’t feel the same. But my problem isn’t with would or should. It’s four letters.
.
Can’t.
She can’t. You can’t love anybody if you don’t love yourself. She’s beautiful, but she doesn’t want to believe it. She’s an amazing writer, but she won’t believe me. She has such an amazing way with words. When people can’t explain it by talking, they are phenomenal (A/N or should I say phenomeNIALL hee hee) at writing it down. If everyone knew how cruel the world truly is, maybe they’d open their eyes. The world is so blind. They don’t realize what they’re doing.
The lads left a long time ago. Before that, they told me things will get better, but I can’t believe them. I don’t want to sleep. I want to see her. I need her. I just want to help her. Be her savior. And call her mine.
The next time I see her, I’m going to teach her love. Take it slow and show her. Starting with the fact that she’s beautiful.
She runs. Right after I tell her how I feel, she runs. I can't believe I was so stupid. She doesn't love me. She doesn't even love herself. God. How was I so stupid! I finally found her and I let her go! I’m so stupid I shouldn’t have done this. I groan loudly and sink in my seat. God. I am an idiot. I have to take one damn step at time. Not jump it. I wish I was smarter.
I grab my phone and turn it on. Eight missed calls and twelve texts. Dammit. I pick the most recent missed call and dial it. Let’s see. One ring... Two rings... Three rings... Better not send me to the f*cking voice mail... “Hello?” Zayn’s voice says.
“Hey Zayn,” I tell him.
“Harry! God man, you had us worried,” He practically yells. “Where are you?”
“Birmingham,” I sigh. “And I think I screwed up man. Big time.”
Dakota’s POV
I have no idea where I’m going. I’ve been recieving where stares as I pass people. I would’ve ran farther, but I’m low on energy. As everyone knows, I don’t eat that much. I can’t. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’m too everything. My weak body stops to lean against the nearest wall which happened to be part of a bookstore. Hm. Seems like a good place. I adjust my hoodie and start walking inside.
Due to the time, not many people are here. There’s two boys and three girls. All of them sitting at tables reading books. No one looks up at me as I enter, being too engrossed by literature. I walk into the nearest aisle and look through the books. It was labeled Realistic Fiction so I figured I’d give it a shot. After a few books, I find one titled Thirteen Reasons Why.
It’s about this guy who finds a box of thirteen cassette tapes on his porch when he comes back from school with his name on it. The tapes are from his classmate/crush that had committed suicide. On each tape is one reason why she killed herself. He is one of the reasons and he has to listen to them to find out why.
Sounds interesting. And cheap. I have about ten dollars in my pocket. I can buy it. I walk to the counter and pay for the book. If I'm gonna be alone for all this time, might as well have something to do. Hanging with the guys is a definite no. I love literature so why not read a book? After buying the book, I exit the store and head to a hotel. It’s not like all the nice ones like Best Western or the Marriott. It’s a small family owned one. I’ve passed it by lots of times so I figured I could st6ay there today.
Harry’s POV
No calls. No texts. No voice mails. Well, from her to me. I left about a million of each. I can’t help, but feel worried. I hate not knowing. I’ve known this girl for what? Four days? God, so much has happened in less than a week. I just... I don’t know. I’ve just been waiting so long for someone like her.
Have you met someone you just love on sight? Their hair, their eyes, their voice. Everything about them is perfect. You think you’ve found the one. But then reality hits telling you that they will never fall for you. Whether it’s social standings or current love interests. It hurts so much that you love them, but won’t feel the same. But my problem isn’t with would or should. It’s four letters.
.
Can’t.
She can’t. You can’t love anybody if you don’t love yourself. She’s beautiful, but she doesn’t want to believe it. She’s an amazing writer, but she won’t believe me. She has such an amazing way with words. When people can’t explain it by talking, they are phenomenal (A/N or should I say phenomeNIALL hee hee) at writing it down. If everyone knew how cruel the world truly is, maybe they’d open their eyes. The world is so blind. They don’t realize what they’re doing.
The lads left a long time ago. Before that, they told me things will get better, but I can’t believe them. I don’t want to sleep. I want to see her. I need her. I just want to help her. Be her savior. And call her mine.
The next time I see her, I’m going to teach her love. Take it slow and show her. Starting with the fact that she’s beautiful.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13