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September 2017

Liv was sat on her bed later that evening, glancing at her phone every few seconds out of the corner of her eye. She had been doing this for over an hour and a half now since she had finished doing her homework for the day, begging Harry to call her once he got home from his dinner.

“Liv love, Connor’s here!” Her mother shouted up the stairs. Liv froze. She couldn’t react as she heard the footsteps getting louder on the stairs, footfalls too heavy to be her mother’s coming toward her, coming to get her. She looked at the door and willed herself to get up and lock it. She didn’t though. She just sat there staring at the handle, her heart beating so hard in her chest, waiting for it to turn. The footsteps stopped outside of her door and she held her breath. The handle turned down slowly.

“Liv, baby?” His voice came from the crack in the door and seconds later she saw his face. He hadn’t changed much since she had seen him less than three weeks ago other than the black eye he had been sporting at the time fading away. When she had first met him two years ago, she had thought that he looked like James Dean. Mysterious with a real rebellious streak, and she had loved it for about six months until he had shown just how much of a ‘bad boy’ he really was. He had hidden it so well until she felt like she had really fallen in love, and then his true colours had started to show. It was slow at first, he would be a little abrupt with her at first over the smallest things and his temper seemed to rise so quickly and he seemed to be getting into a lot of fights when she wasn’t around, but he would still buy her small gifts if he was ever too snappy and he was still a good guy as far as she could see.

Then all of a sudden he wasn’t.

She had taken him to a party with her and the boys and she had thought that they had all had a good night. At around midnight he turned to her with a sweet smile and asked her if she wanted to go back to his. Of course she did. She loved him. So, she said goodbye to Harry and Luke and then ten minutes later they were walking down the dimly-lit street, on the way to his house. He had laid her a trap and she walked right into it because she didn’t even know that he could be like that.

“So, Harry and Luke seem alright.” He said calmly as they had strolled hand in hand. She skipped beside him, swinging their arms gently, a giddy smile on her face because she thought she was so happy.

“Yeah, they’re great, I love them!” The words had barely left her lips when he suddenly grabbed her wrist tightly, stopped and pulled him closer to her aggressively. The fear she had felt in that moment was like nothing she had ever experienced before but she could see from the pure anger in his eyes that she was in trouble. She tried pulling her hand out of his grip but he was much bigger and stronger than she was.

“You don’t love anyone but me, Liv!” He spat at her as he threw her hand aside and put his hand on her neck and pinned her to the wall they were walking alongside. Her hands went to start clawing at his hands as he squeezed a little, making it uncomfortable to try and breathe. Who the hell was this guy?

“Tell me you don’t love anyone else!” He hissed, spitting on her face as he spoke. She opened her mouth but only a few small choking noises escaped her throat as she tried to find air. She could feel herself beginning to really panic that this could be it. He could kill her. Tears found their way down her face as she stared into his eyes, pleading with him to stop. It wasn’t until her vision began going hazy that he released her and she slid to the floor, taking in gasping breaths as she cried harder from shock. He had just stood there, still waiting for her to speak.

“I… I only… love… you.” She had whispered through her sobs, clutching her throat, massaging it gently. She had flinched when he had sat down next to her and put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer, now seemingly trying to comfort her in the middle of the street.

“I don’t like hurting you Liv, you just have to not make me angry…” He had sighed as though it were her fault and at the time she had felt like it was.

After that night, she had continued to date Connor for another year and a half almost. She never told anyone about the escalating verbal and physical abuse that she endured at his hands in fear that if someone found out that he would actually kill her. It was so confusing. He would make her feel as though he loved her and then he would hurt her. She had finally found her escape from him when he had dumped her for another girl that he had supposedly been dating for the last six months behind her back. Part of her had felt bad for the other girl, but the rest of her knew that this was her opportunity to get away, and she was going to take it. She thought she was moving on but here he was, standing in her room with a smile plastered across his face. He closed the door behind him and she immediately felt uneasy.

“Connor… what are you doing here?” She asked quietly, as she stood up off of the bed. She had learnt from experience that it was easier to fight him off if she wasn’t laying down when he attacked. He took a step toward her and she mirrored it by taking a step back, determined to keep a three foot gap at minimum between them.

“Come on Liv, I didn’t mean that fling with Francesca, I want you back!”

She had been dreading this. The last thing she wanted was for him to ever come back.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? I used to make you so mad?” She said being very careful with her choice of words, making sure that everything was her fault and not his. If she was getting out of this single and unharmed, it was her best hope. He smiled and walked over to her chest of draws. She made sure to follow him around the room with her body, her back could never be to him, she had to be prepared for his advancement on her.

“Yeah you did!” He said, glaring at her for a moment before walking across to the chest of draws on the other side of the room, “But I know you won’t do that this time, will you? Surely you’ve realised over the last few weeks that I was right about no one else wanting you? I mean, I found someone else instantly, but look at you, still single!” He started to play with the little wooden animal figurines that she and Harry had made for an art project in year nine.

“I mean I always thought if we broke up you’d go running straight to Harry as a rebound, but he must be smarter than I thought!” Connor laughed as he looked over at her, “I mean the guy’s not exactly anything to shout about but he sees that there are girls prettier and smarter out there!” The small snap of the giraffes neck under Connor’s fingers made Liv wince as his words sank in. Part of her head was screaming that Harry wasn’t like that, but then there was the small voice in the back of her head, Connor’s voice, that told her it was all true. They both knew how good Harry was with girls, and if he had wanted her, he would have had no issue making a move for her.

“I had a think about it and I realised I’ve already learnt to love you, so I want you back.” He closed the space between them and took her hands in his. Liv wanted to shrink away at the feel of his touch, but he had done it. He had made her question herself and the little voice was telling her that he was right, he was the only one that would ever love her and if she let him go then she would have nothing. She sighed as he pulled her in for a gentle hug and she sank into his chest. As much as she knew that Connor was bad for her she was scared to be alone and the familiar scent of his jacket reminded her of all those times when he had been so good to her.

“I missed you Livvy.” His voice was muffled by her hair as he used the nickname that he had given her two years ago that she hated. She mumbled a sound of agreement and kept her face pressed to his chest. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine that it was Harry’s hands stroking the back of her hair and holding her close but the smoky smell just kept reminding her that it wasn’t and that it never would be.

Notes

Comments

Connor sounds like a bastard... :/ Interested to see where this goes! Loving it so far!

Prinny1321 Prinny1321
6/6/19