First Day of My Life

It’s March 30th and we just landed in Madrid. The girls still have no idea that we’ll be seeing Harry they just think we went on a family vacation for their birthdays. Harry is coming in late tonight so he’ll be able to wake the girls up with me tomorrow. Today we’re just staying in the hotel and swimming along with watching movies in the room with my family as well as Harry’s. Tomorrow night we’re flying out to Milan for Harry’s show on the second, and since the first is Easter Harry got it okayed for us to have an easter egg hunt for the girls in the hotel. Both of our families will still be here so we’re just going to have a normal Easter, just hotel style. Nothing is ever normal with you travel with Styles, but we try to make it as normal as possible for the girls.

Right now they’re all laying in bed together just talking away with each other while I’m in the living room talking to my mom, Anne, Gemma, Tupelo, and Masha about how the wedding plans are coming along. My dad and Blake are out looking around sightseeing.

“I have pretty much everything done. I just have to find a time to where Harry can come with me to pick out invitations, a venue, and cake flavors,” I said with a sigh. I love Harry and I’m happy he’s doing what he loves, but while planning a wedding his job is not the best.

“It’ll all work out. Worst case scenario you facetime him while picking out the venue and invitations and allow me help you pick out the cake flavor,” Gemma said winking at me and I laughed.

“Honestly if your brother doesn’t start helping me with ideas for this wedding I think I’m going to marry you instead,” i said making everyone laugh.

“I’m up for it one hundred percent. Let’s not wait until then. Let’s get married down,” Gemma replied.

“As long as you end up with one of my kids I’m happy,” Anne said speaking up.

“We’re back!” My dad shouted using his key to get into the suit.

“Hey pops,” I said smiling at him as he sat his camera down, “You’re back soon. Did the paps catch up with you?” I asked knowling and he nodded his head and I laughed.

“I need a nap so if you need me I will be in my bed,” My mom said standing up and kissing the top of my head before heading to my parent’s suit which is connected to mine.

“I think I’m going to follow your mom’s lead,” My dad said before following her.

“A nap does sound nice,” Anne said. Soon Masha, Blake, Tupelo, Gemma, and I were the only ones left in the room. I went to check on the girls and all three were asleep cuddled into each other.

“How about we watch a movie?” Blake asked as I closed the door to their room that they’re in.

“Sounds great,” Tuppie replied.
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“It’s be babe. Let me in,” I heard Harry’s voice say on the other end of the phone. I had just woken up to my phone ringing, but I had no clue who it was. I was still half asleep.

“But it’s so far,” I whined and he laughed.

“Just let me in so I can finally be with four of my girls,” He said and I simply hung up on him and rolled over so I was on my stomach with my face in my pillow. I don’t know why we thought this was a good idea. Sleep is a good idea, waking up in the middle of the night? Not so much! Soon my phone began to ring again and I sighed before stretching into my mermaid position and then getting out of bed. When I opened the door his back was on the wall next to it and he held his phone to his ear.

“If you wake the girls I’m going to kill you,” I mumbled before turning and walking back to our room of the suite. I got back in bed and pulled the covers up as far as they could go and just laid there. Soon the bed dipped and the covers were taken off of me.

“What are you doing?” I asked Harry in frustration. All I wanted to do was sleep, but my lovely fiance had other plans.

“Let’s talk about it,” He simply stated as he turned and faced me while crossing his legs.

“Talk about what Harry? It’s two in the freaking morning. I want to sleep,” I said rolling over so my back was to him.

“No come on. We both need to talk about this. We’ve never spoken about it and I know you haven’t spoken about it to anyone. Talk to me about it,” He said turning me over and pulling me into him.

“Fine, but you have to speak first,” I said to him.

Harry’s P.O.V

“Fine, but you have to speak first,” She said to me takin me completely off guard. Even though I wanted to talk about it. We both NEEDED to talk about it.

“I now feel incomplete. I had gotten so used to the idea of finally having a child that is both of us in one running around, and now their gone. I never met them, but I was head over heels for them and I was going to do anything to protect them. Most days I’m fine and then when I’m alone in my room after talking to the four of you I break down. I thought that I needed to be strong for you, but after talking to both of our moms, I knew it was okay for me to hurt and break down, and talk to you about this all. I know you want to be strong for the girls, but right now it’s just you and me. We’re in our own little bubble that nobody else can enter. What are you feeling?” I said finishing.

“I feel like a failure,” She whispered after ten minutes of us just sitting in silence. Ten minutes of me not knowing what was going on with her.

“Why?” I asked in complete shock.

“My body, it was made to create and have children. I couldn’t do that right. So yeah, I’m a failure,” She said.

“You’re not a failure, you created two perfect little humans before and you’re going to create some again. This was just a blib in our lives and maybe God decided now wasn’t right for us after all. Or maybe he thought we needed to go through this together to make us even stronger. All I know is that no matter what I love you to death and I always will. Whenever you’re ready to try for our rainbow baby we will, but until then what if we got matching tattoos for bean,” I said kissing her head.

“I’d like that. I might be awhile until I’m ready again,”

“And that’s perfectly okay,” I said before laying us both down and holding her until I assumed she was asleep. That thought was shattered when I felt her body shaking and her almost silent sobs. I just pulled her even tighter to me and just let her cry as a few of my own tears fell.
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“Daddy!” I heard shouted before feeling three bodies up onto mine. I laughed and my heart became full once again.

“I heard a couple of little girls are turning four today,” I said sitting up allow all three to cuddle into me, “Do you know who they are so I can wish them happy birthday?”

“Us daddy!” Clementine said with a giggle.

“Well happy birthday ma’ ladies,” I said before giving them each a kiss as Lila began to stir next to me. When she rolled over the shock of seeing the girls was written all over her face.

“Happy birthday buggies,” She said as she was working to become fully awake and alert.

“Can we have cake?” Nora asked us and we laughed. Nora is our little cake monster. If cake is involved, no matter what, Nora will be there. It doesn’t matter if she isn’t feeling well, cake time is all the time in her mind.

“We’ll see. Why don’t we give you guys baths so we can see Nona, Granna, and Poppers?” Lila said finally sitting up and scooping Clementine in her arms. Clemmie is such a “mommy’s” girl while Nora and Lottie are “daddy’s” girls. Everyone finds it funny, but Lila and I are sure it’s because their biological mom and dad didn’t step up to the plate so when we basically moved in together last year it was like they were getting the parents they always wanted.

“I want to stay with you,” Clemmie said looking up at Lila.

“Daddy and I will be there also Snugglebug. What if just the five of us take a nap later today before daddy’s show. Does that sound good?” Lila asked and Clemmie nodded her head. I got out of bed to go run their bathwater and when I came back all three were snuggled close to Lila and she took a selfie of all of them together.

“I want in,” I said scooting in next to Lilia. We took a couple of family pictures together before I took the girls in for their baths. Once they were all out and dressed I let Lila get dressed while I sat with the girls and she did he same for me.

Lila’s P.O.V
When we met our parents in the lobby as well as our sisters and Harry’s step-brother Mike we all got in seperate cars and headed to a restaurant to lunch. Once we were there each of the girls sat on their grandparents’ laps and just began to talk away.

“How are you feeling?” Anne asked me.

“I’ve been better, but at least I’m finally able to spend a little time with Harry again,” I said with a small smile.

“If you ever feel like you want to visit Harry while he’s gone just call or text me, and I’ll book the next flight out and you’ll be on your way,”

“I will thank you Anne,” After breakfast with our families we went sightseeing for about two hours before Harry had to go to sound check. While he was gone I took the girls back to the hotel room and just laid in bed and cuddled with them. When Harry came back the five of us cuddled in one bed and watched the My Little Pony movie for about the tenth time.

“Mommy?” Lottie asked from her spot directly in the middle of the other four of us.

“What’s up Bubbles?” I asked her as I brushed her hair out of her face.

“I don’t feel good,” She said and when I felt her forehead she had a slight fever. I stood up slowly and reached over and picked her up.Harry shifted Nora and Clemmie so that he was in the middle of them and they each clung onto a side of him

“We’re going to get you a cool cloth to put on your head as well as some water then we’re going to cuddle in the chair so we don’t get Harry or your sisters sick,” I explained to her as we exited the bedroom.
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“She’s been asleep for three hours Harry. This isn’t like her, I think I’ll send the other two with you guys tonight and I’ll stay with Lottie,” I said as we stood on the balcony to our room talking while Nora and Clemmie sat on the couch in the living room playing with their dolls together.

“I’m sure one of our parents can stay with her,” Harry said, “I really want you there tonight,”

“I want to be there also, but I don’t want to leave Lottie on her birthday. The other two will have you, so I think it’s only fair that today she has me,”

“But the whole security team will be with me. I don’t feel comfortable with just leaving you two here with no protection. What if you have to go out and get medicine for her and get mobbed by fans?”

“First off you do realize how crazy you sound, right? Also if it makes you feel better I’ll ask my dad if he’ll stay behind. It’ll give us time to catch up anyways,”

“Fine. I hope she’s better by tomorrow though. It’s Easter after all,” He said hugging me and I nodded my head. Just as I went to kiss him Clemmie came crashing into our legs with tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong Blossom?” Harry asked picking her up.

“Nora said you’re not my mommy,” Clemmie said just as Nora walked in with a very deep set pout.

“I only said it because she said Harry isn’t my daddy,” Nora said defending herself and I sighed before closing my eyes.

“Girls that wasn’t okay for either of you to say,” Harry said as he picked up Nora as well.

“She has a different last name. So you’re not her daddy,” Clementine said and at the moment was when Lottie walked out and upon hearing that she began to cry and ran over to me. I picked her up and instantly began to soothe her.

“What’s wrong sis?” I asked even though I already knew what was wrong.

“Is Harry really not my daddy?” She asked me. I honestly did not expect the “they’re not your actual mom/dad” thing to start until they hit high school. Well what do you know I was wrong.

“Of course he is. Just because you have your first daddy’s last name does not mean that Harry is not your second daddy,” I said looking between both of my girls.

“And yes Clemmie, Lili is your mommy as well. You three have to be nice to each other because at the end of the day you’re the three best friends in the world,” Harry said looking between our three girls as they nodded.

“Good. So Violet you’re going to stay home with mommy tonight so we can get you to feeling better for Easter tomorrow,” I explained to her and she slowly nodded her head that was now resting on my shoulder.

“You two bugs need to get dressed to come with daddy to his show tonight,” Harry said to Eleanor and Clementine.

Notes