Chapter 7 of 'Strong'


‘All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed so confused, I was broken and bruised’-
Warrior, Demi Lovato




Eleanor's P.O.V



"What are you so smiley about, El?" Louis questioned from the driver’s seat of his car. He had one hand on the wheel and the other interlaced with mine on his lap. His eyes kept switching between the road and me, waiting my answer. I put my hand that wasn't interlaced with his on my heart in mock offense. "Can't a girl be happy on a beautiful sunny morning while she's in a car with the world's most amazing boyfriend ever?" I asked rhetorically. After I had said that I suddenly realized the girls were right; I do hang out with Louis too much.


Louis laughed and ran his fingers through his brown disheveled hair. "I know I am the world's most amazing, hottest, sweetest, talented boys ever but what is seriously going on?" He questioned.


"I never said you were hot, sweet or talented, I just said you were amazing." I told him cheekily. His beautiful laugh that I fell in love with filled the whole car. I smiled due to his laugh-I really do love this boy. "You know its true though, now stop changing the subject!" He said.


I let out a sigh knowing there was no way I could escape this conversation. I turned in my seat and started at his beautiful stubble face, "Don't think I'm crazy, okay?" I questioned and when he nodded I continued. "I think Niall and Kayleigh will be perfect together."


Louis started laughing. He kept laughed so hard he had to pull over to stop us from crashing. He wiped a tear from his eye and said, "El, that's hilarious! Seriously though, stop changing the subject and just tell me what you're thinking about." I turned back around in my seat beyond annoyed! He laughed at me! He laughed at my idea and that really hurt!


When he realized I was serious he stopped laughing and tried to apologize. "Babe, I'm sorry! El, sweetie I'm really sorry!" He put one hand on my leg and the other on my face trying to turn my head so he could kiss me. I pushed his hands off me and completely ignored him.


When he realized he had really screwed up he let out a sigh and started the car up again. I switched on the radio hoping Louis would not try to talk to me. I listened intently to Sam Smith's song 'Stay With Me'. I really like that song and in a way it reminded me of my relationship with Louis.


Every time Louis tried to talk to me I cranked the radio higher and since Louis loved to talk, the radio was at full blast.


I continued to ignore Louis until we pulled into the schools parking lot. Once the car stopped my hand was on the door handle ready to leave the car. Before I could I heard a 'zap' announcing Louis had locked the door. I turned around and faced him, "Open the door Louis," and when he shook his head my tone got more aggressive, "Louis open the damn door!" He shook his head again.


He took my hands in his and I instantly calmed down. I loved and both hated the effect he had on me. He kissed my hands and had the satisfaction of me looking him in the eyes. His eyes were always my weakness and he knew it. "El? Ellie bear, I'm really sorry! I just found it funny because of how much they detest each other. If you think they're cute together and want them together then I will support you. If they go bad though it if something big happens between them I will tell you 'I told you so'" He said and I smiled at him. I pulled him in for a kiss and moments later I pulled back for breath.


"That's all I ask," I told him and he laughed before pulling me back in for another kiss.




Amela's P.O.V




"Coach is at a meeting today so we got the day off. He was really disappointed when he heard it was scheduled the day I came back." Niall explained to me. All the couples were talking–Lou and El, Sophia and Liam, Zayn and Perrie–so that left Niall and I talking. When Kayleigh walked into the cafeteria and saw Niall at our table she sent me a smile and walked over to the table the boys from my music class sat at. It really sucked how Niall and Kayleigh couldn't even sit at the same table.


Harry walked over towards our table and I couldn't help but smile but my smile quickly dropped when I saw Kendall with him. I ignored the couple who had no problem ignoring everybody else by attaching their lips and continued on talking to Niall.


Eleanor and Louis, Perrie and Zayn and Liam and Sophia continued talking happily until Kendall's giggling broke them out of their trance. "Harry! I seriously love you!" She giggled loudly causing me to mentally laugh. I've known Harry for years and there is no way he'd tell her he loved her. Harry always told me he'd only tell a girl he loved her if he truly meant it. My eyes, Niall's eyes, Kendall's eyes, everybody who was at our tables eyes were now on him.


"Um," Harry mumbled awkwardly scratching the back of his head, "Okay." By the look in Kendall's face she was not pleased. My phone beeping distracted me from laughing. She quickly brushed it off and reattached her lips to his.


Perrie looked at me, shock evident in her eyes. She mouthed 'Oh my God!' but all I did was shrug and continue texting Sam.


I have no idea what happened whilst I was texting Sam all I know is that when I looked up from my screen, everybody–Bar Kendall–was giving Harry judgmental looks and it looked like Harry was biting his tongue. I started at all of them curiously until Harry finally exploded.


"Stop looking at me like that! Stop thinking, 'Poor Amela! How can Harry bring Kendall to our table' and stop looking at Kendall as if she's diseased! You have no right, especially when Amela is hooking up with a 'v' and is texting him this very moment!" Harry shouted before walking away angrily. Kendall looked at us for a moment before she walked after him looking quite pissed off. I'm not a professional in mind reading but I'm pretty sure she was not pissed off at us.


'How could he do this?!' I thought in annoyance, 'Firstly, how did he know about Sam in the first place, never mind the fact he knew Sam was a vampire. Secondly, how could he tell everybody the secret that wasn't his to tell! Thirdly, how dare he be mad at me for being happy! Every girl–And woman!–Harry has rubbed in my face and all I do is text a boy–And go on one or two dates–and he blows up! Last time I checked he was the one who told me we were nothing!’


Everybody's eyes were on me-Everyone except Perrie whose eyes were looking at the door Harry left in shock.


I looked at everybody and took a deep breath, "I can explain."




Harry's P.O.V




I walked out the cafeteria door. 'How could she do this?' I thought bitterly, 'How could she betray our pack by sleeping with the enemy. Literally!'


I kept walking angrily until I felt somebody grab my hand and pull me into a closet. I heard the door shut and lock behind me. I turned around and saw Kendall looking at me, realization and hatred clear in her facial expression.


"Kendall, I'm sorry about what happened back there. It’s just that Amela is a really good friend of mine and I don't want some jerk screwing her ove—" Kendall put her hand up to silence me. She looked at me, her eyes filled with seriousness and tears.


"Cut the crap Harry. You can lie to everybody else–You can even lie to yourself–but you can't lie to me." I looked into her serious tear filled brown eyes confused. "Kendall what are you talking—" She silenced me again.


"I see the way you look at Amela, Harry. I see the way you smile when you're around her. I see how you get when she talks to other guys, how you get all tense and how you clench and unclench your fists to stop yourself from punching the guy; you never act that way with me. You tell me I can't sit with you at lunch because you're afraid that if we hang out too much we'll get bored of each other, but I know the real reason is because you want Amela to be jealous–By knowing we are together–but you don't want her to think she doesn't have a chance-by being with me 24/7." I went to object but she shook her head indicating she knew what she was talking about and obviously wasn't finished yet, "Whenever we have plans if Amela wants you, you cancel in me and go hang out with her. Whenever we kiss you always close your eyes! At first I found it kind of cute and romantic but now that everything is clicking into place I realize it’s actually because you're imagining you're kissing her! Whenever I told you I loved you, you told me you couldn't say it back–Yet!–because you're saving it for that ONE special girl! I knew we wouldn't last forever but I never knew I was second best! I always had a feeling we didn't belong together. All my friends warned me about you but I thought maybe we could be like the movies where my love changed you but I never realized you were the way you were–A womanizer–because the one girl who you WANT to change you, doesn't WANT you! I never noticed any of this stuff before–Or if I did I just ignored it–but after the way you reacted in there, it’s as if a light bulb went off in my head or as if I had suffered with amnesia and everything I had forgot hit me like a ton of bricks! I've slowly been falling for you–I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had been falling for me–but this whole entire time I was wrong because how can you fall for someone if you're already in love with someone else!" She finished and all I could do was stare.


She looked at me exasperatedly, "You're not even going to admit it? Deny it; tell me everything I just said was false and that I let my imagination get the best if me?" I knew I couldn't. How could I disagree when everything she just said...


...Was true.


"I'm so sorry Kendall," I apologized. I never meant for any of this to happen-I have never used a girl purposely, I had always hoped I would actually fall for one of them and completely forget about Amela.


"How long have you loved her?" She questioned, her voice cracking towards the end. I wanted nothing more than to hug the heartbroken girl in front of me but I knew she'd push me away.


I didn't even have to think about how long I've loved Amela, I knew straight away, "Since the first day I saw her, when I was thirteen."


Kendall's eyes widened and her hand went on the door handle, "I wish you both the best of luck then. Goodbye Harry." Then Kendall left closet leaving me feeling like a huge ass, with her words replaying in my head.


"I see the way you look at Amela, Harry. I see the way you smile when she's around." Was I seriously that OBVIOUS to everybody but her?




Niall's P.O.V




After the shock of Amela dating a vampire stuck in, we were all really shocked at Harry's outburst. Everybody at the table was wondering what caused Harry's outburst; everybody but me. I've been best friends with Harry since I was eight–When a newly divorced Anne left her ex husbands pack and joined our pack–so I know all about Harry's crush on Amela. I couldn't tell them that though do when they asked me about it I just shrugged, grabbed an apple off Perrie's tray and left the cafeteria.


I took a bite out of the apple and walked out the cafeteria door but the apple fell from my hand and rolled along the floor when my body collided with a smaller one.


"I'm so sorry! This was entirely my fault!" A small Irish feminine voice said. I knew who the voice was instantly because she was the only other Irish person in this school. I looked at Kayleigh and quickly pushed away the flashback of the last time I saw her–When I kissed her–and instead made sure she knew NOTHING would ever happen between the two of us. I didn't really care the fact we were in the middle of a busy hallway and were close enough to the cafeteria that if anybody heard a yell they'd come to see what drama was happening; the bigger the audience, the better.


"Watch where you're going fatty." I spat causing a few heads to turn our way. I know calling a girl fat is one of the worst things you can call a girl but I couldn't help it. Whenever I was around her I feel so much hatred towards her and I say whatever the hell I want without thinking of the consequences. Kayleigh just looked at me, no emotion in her eyes and tried to walk away. I would have let her walk away but I had to get this out now. I harshly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back causing her to let out a quiet cry in agony.


"Listen here, Little Miss Superior, what happened in the library will never happen or be spoken of again. Got it?" I questioned harshly, feeling a lot of eyes on me.


"Trust me," She replied her tone the same as mine, "If I could take it back I would."


"Please," I laughed no humor in my voice, "You're probably praying it happens again." This time she laughed, "In your dreams maybe."


The blood in my veins started to boil like it usually does before I shift. I knew the feeling within me wasn't my body shifting into a different species but an emotion I always tried to keep under control; anger.


"Now you listen here you fat, ugly, worthless slut!" I shouted, "I fucking hate you! You are a horrible person! Probably the most horrible person I've ever met! You can ask anyone, I'm nice to everybody! I've never disliked somebody before but you! You are an exception! You're way too loud! You're way too talkative! You’re a fat, ugly, worthless, pathetic, stupid, annoying, blonde bitch!" I yelled and by this time everybody was staring at me and a hurt looking Kayleigh-including my pack. My friends being there–Watching us, judging me–didn't get me to back down though; it encouraged me.


"You think you're great. You think you're better than everybody else but you're not! You think you can walk into someone–Walk over somebody–without there being consequences but there are. You think you can just come here and fit in but you can't! You don't belong here; you belong in a zoo. Every girl here is skinny and pretty and nice whilst you're just vain!" I shouted not acknowledging everybody else; all I could see was Kayleigh. "I have done a lot if shit in my life but the thing I regret most in life is kissing you in that janitor’s closet!" I shouted at her, hearing multiple people gasp, bringing me back into focus of what was around me.


I looked around at all the shocked faces around me-purposely ignoring Kayleigh's hurt one, Amela's disgusted one, the boys pissed off one and the girls judging ones. Knowing that my words were probably not affecting a self-conceited snob like Kayleigh, I let out another humorless laugh, "You know what? You're so full of yourself; my words are doing nothing for you. I don't even know why I'm bothering." I shook my head not quite believing I'd just wasted my breath on her but as I was about to turn her shaky, cracked voice stopped me.


"You don't know anything about me! You don't know my story; you'll never know my story! My whole life I've had people put me down; try to take away my light and some of them have succeeded. You think you know me but you don't. You don't know anything; all you know is all you want to see. I don't think I'm perfect, if anything I think I'm the opposite! I've felt shame, I've felt worthless and like I was nothing before. I've scars and I've felt pain that I will never show anybody! I've survived and overcame way more shit than you could possibly ever put me through!" She said her voice serious, her eyes switching from my eyes to the floor, "All the pain and the shame and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. I was broken and ashamed and bruised and confused but I managed to fix myself and I'll be damned if I let all my work go because some stupid idiot like you says some mean words that I've heard multiple times before! I'm a warrior; I've got thicker skin but I can feel my skin thinning with every single name you call me and it isn't fair! I've never done anything to you! You hate me why? ‘Cause I accidentally walked into you? ‘Cause I've become friends with one of your friends? ‘Cause YOU kissed ME?!" She said more loudly now. When she actually took her eyes off the ground and looked into my eyes, the pain and tears in her eyes that she wouldn't let spill when she said was confessing her story to me–In some way–I could tell everything she was saying was the truth. Although I didn't like her–For some reason that was unknown to me–I couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards her and all I wanted was to reach out to her and hugs her small short body into mine.




Kayleigh's P.O.V




I looked at everybody around me; all of their eyes were on me, each person holding a different emotion. Some of them looking at me with curiosity, not fully understanding what I was saying. Some of them looking at me with admiration for standing up for myself. Some people looking at me sympathetically, understanding somewhat of what I was saying. Some people looked at me disgusted, freaked out by what they thought I was implying and by the fact I was talking to THE Niall Horan this way. All these faces, all these facial expressions, all these emotions that were running through my body and Niall's eyes on me was way too much for me to handle. I felt my hands getting clammy, my heart was in my mouth, my stomach was queasy even though I haven't eaten anything in weeks and the tears were so close to falling but I couldn't let that happen so I gave Niall one last defeated look before I quickly walked outside the circle that was around Niall and I and sprinted–As quickly as I could with the small bit of energy I had–into a small coat closet.




Louis' P.O.V




I watched as Kayleigh ran off with tears in her eyes and looked at my best friend that might as well be a stranger to me. It was so weird seeing Niall like this; He was usually the peacekeeper. I watched as Niall eyes followed Kayleigh's figure as he ran down the hall and I saw that little bit if remorse in his eyes.


Amela walked up to Niall and with full force gave him a slap across the cheek. The sound of skin meeting skin echoed through the hall and everybody–including myself–let out a surprised gasp. "You're such a fucking dick Niall Horan!" She spat before she walked away, followed by Perrie, probably in search of Kayleigh.


I turned to a torn looking Eleanor. I knew what my El, my sweet kind El, was probably thinking. She was torn between following Amela and Perrie to comfort Kayleigh and tend her scarred heart or to go comfort Niall and tend to his throbbing cheek. Although I knew what I was about to say next would be mean I had to let Eleanor know her fantasy about Kayleigh and Niall being 'soulmates' was never going to happen.


"Still think they belong together now babe?"




Kayleigh's P.O.V




I slid down the closed door and let the tears fall. My back was hurting since the zip on the back of my skinny jeans was being pressed into my back but I didn't care. I was mentally praying to God that nobody fully understood what I was implying when I said I had scars.


I rolled up the sleeves on my black baggy ‘OBEY’ jumper and removed all the wristbands that were running from the start of my wrist to my elbow. I ran my fingers over all the scars on my arm, every single last one. Every single word Niall said pierced through my heart like a dagger. I spent years recovering; thickening my skin just for Niall to go thinning it again. It was different when I thought those words about myself but hearing somebody else say them made everything more real and more painful....


I heard a knock on the door. I wiped the tears away quickly and started slipping back on bracelets. I steadied my voice, "Just a minute!" I continued putting on the last of my bracelets and slid my jumpers’ sleeves down. I checked my eyes in my phone screen mirror making sure my eyes weren't puffy. I stood up from where I was sitting on the ground and brushed the dirt off my jeans before I opened the door to see a sheepish looking Harry.


"Hey Kayleigh," Harry walked past me over to where a phone was on a wooden shelf, "I left my phone here earlier. Sorry for disturbing you..." He said in his deep voice and I couldn't help but laugh. He soon joined in realizing how stupid he sounded. I let my eyes fall to the floor after we had finished laughing.


"Hey, you okay?" He lifted my chin up and wiped a tear I hadn't noticed fell, away. "I'm fine," I automatically said and I mentally cursed myself. My old habits were creeping back in through the cracks Niall's words made in my walls.


"No you're not! I have an older sister, you know." He said causing me to laugh again but a few more tears escaped.


"I'm fine. We still have some time though so why don't you tell me about when and how you realized you liked Amela..."

Notes